Massively detailed Ibiza Review 2012 :)

[kimajy]

I am sure it was a combination of being tired, not eating a lot, not drinking a lot of water (dehydrated throughout the whole holiday) etc. I never took drugs though and never will.

I'm not encouraging it ... but in the words of the Man Like (just sayin' !) ...


https://www.facebook.com/SashaPresentsNeverSayNever?ref=ts

Both my mates I went with live about half and hour from me and they went round each others houses to sort it out. So basically I said I was relying on them to make sure they did everything 100% correctly. But I will take your advice when I am responsible for these sorts of things.

... without wanting to sound like a complete knob, I never trust anyone to make travel arrangements for me without checking everything before they book. Biggest messes I've ended up in by far have been when someone else has been left to do the bookings

I guess you are probably right there but I would say the majority of them were bad. There was 1 guy actually who had the exact same problem as us about the booking of the hotel. We went for showers using the public bathroom area in the hotel and there was 1 guy doing the same and he said he had the same problem as us. To be honest, he looked mega chavy but seemed fairly nice after that little chat.

OK I have to be honest and admit I've seen and overheard some of the most terrible specimens of Britain's teenage population getting on buses to planes to and from Ibiza on Ibiza Rocks Hotel packages. There - I said it.

However .... seems you had something in common with the guy who probably made the same mistake with his bookings as your mates did - and therefore had a basis for breaking the ice of your differing backgrounds .... so maybe the barriers of perception started to crumble on both sides ? Ibiza (imho) is all about tolerance and equality - certainly used to be in any case and still is amongst a great many people who live on the island and still visit.


I think the concept of a "lads' holidays" being "classy" in the context of an 18-25 age group destination is something of a non-sequitur to be fair ! What you saw of Ibiza is only the tip of a very big iceberg, but if you're looking for something a little less rough around the edges you don't have to venture very far out of San An (and can find it within if you know where to go). However ... unless you hit the local Spanish haunts (which on the whole are very good indeed), you'll need to take considerably more cash next time if you want to tap into the better bits

Also what I normally did was fill up an empty bottle of water from the tap, stick it in the fridge, and then the next day I would take it to the beach. However after a while at the beach, the water would just get warm. So those things you recommended would be great as I wouldn't have this problem of the water getting warm.

Some places sell bottles of water pre-frozen. They last a bit longer on the beach that way but not indefinitely obviously. When you sweat a lot, you lose vital salts which is what that powder replaces. No amount of water can cure severe dehydration without also replacing the salts which the body has lost. Alcohol and caffeine exacerbate dehydration so they also help counter the effects of that. You should still drink 2-3 litres of water or soft drinks per day if you're out a lot in that heat. It's definitely not a waste of money - essential for keeping healthy, even more so when you push yourself for long stretches with little sleep and drinking. More stamina = more enjoyable holiday by far so best to just budget for it.

For some strange reason I just couldn't get drunk in Ibiza. I hadn't drank in about a month before going to Ibiza as I was saving up money, but somehow I could tolerate so much alcohol. I was really confused because even though I had drank loads I wouldn't get drunk, even though i barely slept i didn't actually feel too tired, even though i barely ate i never felt that hungry etc.

Ibiza does that for you - can somehow do so much more than when you're back at home. Being there gives you an amazing capacity for living and an incredible stamina for survival ... been taking full advantage of it for years

Also, my sunburn was really weird because I fell asleep with my hand on my chest. So when I got sunburnt, I have a big patch in the middle of my chest which is completely white (from where my hand was) and sunburn all around it.

I left still a virgin! Even though it was a nice dance, she walked off after 10 minutes or so. I was really gutted when she left.

.. there's more than me were hoping for full enlightenment on your first trip ... but seriously, don't judge girls in Ibiza too harshly - sun, sea and sand can make people randy (at any age) but there's more provocative behaviour than shagging, especially with your age group it seems from what I keep reading (we seem to have been far more active on the whole from what I recall ).

If you're looking for another virgin then you may have a harder job of it - but I lost my virginity in a beach hut to a French woman 10 years my senior and never looked back ... she was certainly no "slapper" and I realized from the word go that there's a big difference between polyamory (surprisingly widespread if you look around) ... or "meanigful free love" if you will, and a quick go on one of the town bicycles !

What do you mean you are surprised I made it to a big club on my first trip?

Surprisingly, a great many people, especially of your age, do not Money is usually one of the factors but equally the ready availability of cheap drinks and free snogs is typically enough to keep many in San An for their first few trips !

She wasn't one of those ibiza sluts you get in the west end.

.. so picky for one so young

Then he said he would love to do a threesome with Theirry Henry and Juan Mata!

... definitely some "issues" to be worked through there. Bisexual tendencies trying to break free maybe ? Pop up to (the perhaps aptly named) Calle de la Virgen in Ibiza Town next time if you go back with him, with a handful of reinforced condoms ... there are a couple of places there he could probably work things out for himself pretty decisively one way or another by morning


So .. it's World Soccer Orgy Parts I and II for his next birthday present is it ?

We thought Ibiza Rocks was meant to be a more classy hotel in Ibiza!

Ibiza Rocks House at Pikes, maybe ... but definitely not the Hostal in San Antoni !

They were saying that where they stayed, it was actually really nice and the people there were friendly. They said that quite a lot of families were staying there and you could get bed and breakfast there! It all sounded so luxurious compared to our hotel!

IR Hostal is a party hotel. Enough said ! Be quite happy to point you in the direction of some nice, reasonably-priced hotels which appeal to families, singles and 'restrained' groups not far from where you stayed but away from the downside of that particular location. Some are family-run too, have aircon and are quiet enough to get a decent night's sleep if you want it.

By the way, thanks for the in depth response to my review

Happy to - really enjoyed reading it and know all too well how long they take to write ! Would be good if you went back to the island with the insights you gained this trip, for another round. You can get loads of help and support on here if you want it - much more so than for any other place I've ever been. I honestly reckon the trials of your last trip were probably some of the best experiences you could possibly have had - unless you learn things the hard way, you never really learn them at all.

 

[fuzzy dunlop]

Cheers Beans, this review is genius!

Have you got any pics of the German bird, I want to try and find her when I'm over, see if she'll spike my drink for me.

As I read through this review, all I was thinking of was The Inbetweeners movie!

 

[daveaus]

God if my Ibiza trip goes like this then ill be gutted lol , sounded like a eventful but not a very good trip.

How many half starts can a bloke get before he smashes a bird lol.

 

[Hywel]

As I read through this review, all I was thinking of was The Inbetweeners movie!

Does have the undertones.

What makes me Beans, is the fact you seem to look down on the 'sluts' of the West End, but then in your steps to pulling, you specifically target the girls with drinks in their hands, or are getting drunk.

I completely agree with Kimajy about Ibiza Rocks Hotel, at your age it's worth doing probably, just to experience the madness, but yes there are much nicer hotels in the surrounding area, cheaper too.

Now that you have mentioned it was Ibiza Rocks you stayed at, I imagine that's the source of most of the issues you had...bit of a Baptism of fire staying there.

 

[FallenangelGparsons]

Nope - you'd be surprised how many cradle-snatchers are out there... plenty of girls LOVE to pop mens' cherries. Lots of girls find muscly men intimidating too and also think they may be gay... when you get older if you're still "skinnyish" it matters not .. if you have any charm, are at all funny, vaguely intelligent, have a car (or preferably coke - but that's another ball-game altogether that I don't play ).

it reminds me that walking by ibz harbor , some french lads (kind of punks/rude boys ) were trying to hit :x on the sheffield girl (keen on Mary Jane, pills ect..) i met in my hotel , telling her :come with us to our hotel we got drugz for free, free pass for club ect... i warn her that it is a trap, these guyz are scumbags , full of lies, all they want is to rape/abuse with (4thsome plan, three boys 1 girl ) & to go for pacha FMIF, don't worry you're my guest

whouaoW this review reminds me of bad sides from ibz trip...
I don't understand why some don't believe your words coz i'm sure through the way you narrow your trip, you are telling the truth...

the stuff to let your luggage in a hall 1st day in ibiza because i had to wait until 8h30 Am...(had to stay all time in the hotel , keeping an eye on my luggage..you're lucky not to get your luggage stolen )
purse snatch in after party in PDB getting closer to the bag of an austrian girlz that my m8 was hiting on..
snipping stuff..used to buy some drinks to the girls i hit on but with cheapy price i t would be hard for me to buy a drink to a girl now ... don't know how i will react if anyone want to sipp my drinks (want a gum instead ?on the house ,if i'm sure we'll get closer )
people that pretend to look friendly in order to get you buy their stuff...

...

 

[beans]

Hahahah ****ing nailed it.... if anyones looking for a quick summary.

Also..

"if you have sex with a girl in ibiza, then she is going to be an absolute slag who must have been looking for it every night and had probably been sleeping with a different guy throughout the whole holiday."

:S Maybe for your next holiday boys you should all go to the italian countryside and enjoy nice wine, leisurely walks and scenic views, what made you choose ibiza?

"He was just playing music that was going boom boom, no singing" That part got me.........

But about the drink spiking.. there is absolutley no point in spiking someone whos with there friends in a club, why would they waste there drugs just to get you drugged? Maybe he looked like he needed a gary to churp him up? But from what you described it just sounds like he had a good half and half measure in space.

But chav this, chav that slag, rough areas... jesus try talking to some of these people lole normal people do exist outside of your stately home. Anyway it made for a good read.

Well when we could not get into our room and had to sleep in reception, at around 4 or 5am, we would just see guys taking girls back to their room over and over again. I'm up for a one night stand but most of these people are doing it every night continually.

I don't really like just pure DJ music. Hearing a loud beat with loads of bass for a few hours gets boring. DJ's that can mix it up by mixing songs together etc keep me going. Or a DJ with someone singing/rapping over it is also good for me.

 

[beans]

Cheers Beans, this review is genius!

Have you got any pics of the German bird, I want to try and find her when I'm over, see if she'll spike my drink for me.

As I read through this review, all I was thinking of was The Inbetweeners movie!

I remember exactly what the German girl looked like but I don't have any pictures I am afraid. And yeah I even thought it was a little like something from the inbetweeners when we were there. Or even something from the Hangover (losing something and spending the whole holiday searching for it and trying to sort it out).

God if my Ibiza trip goes like this then ill be gutted lol , sounded like a eventful but not a very good trip.

How many half starts can a bloke get before he smashes a bird lol.

I am sure you will have one or two low points but it is unlikely to be anything like what happened to us. If you've been travelling at least once without your parents before, I am sure you would have a lot less problems than what we encountered.

Does have the undertones.

What makes me Beans, is the fact you seem to look down on the 'sluts' of the West End, but then in your steps to pulling, you specifically target the girls with drinks in their hands, or are getting drunk.

I completely agree with Kimajy about Ibiza Rocks Hotel, at your age it's worth doing probably, just to experience the madness, but yes there are much nicer hotels in the surrounding area, cheaper too.

Now that you have mentioned it was Ibiza Rocks you stayed at, I imagine that's the source of most of the issues you had...bit of a Baptism of fire staying there.

I am all up for dancing with a girl even if she is a little slutty. But I would never take a slut back to my bedroom!

We actually thought the Ibiza Rocks hotel was one of the nicer hotels in the area!!!!

 

[paddy87]

I didn't think this was genuine but with the pictures is now offically funniest review I've ever read, sounds like the worst holiday ever.

Non stop moaning about chavs and your mates wearing a Gstar tshirt, you look like a bunch of 14 year old pikeys

 

[Doddy]

surely a wind up ..... top reading though

no infact with the pics posted up now....its too good.....superb

 

[beans]

I didn't think this was genuine but with the pictures is now offically funniest review I've ever read, sounds like the worst holiday ever.

Non stop moaning about chavs and your mates wearing a Gstar tshirt, you look like a bunch of 14 year old pikeys

YES IT IS GENUINE. I am getting a little annoyed with everyone who keeps thinking I just made up a story. All of this is true!

Didn't even realise he was wearing a G Star shirt! Probably his brothers - for some reason they share each others clothes and his brother is a chav (you are probably thinking the same thing as me that its weird to share each others clothes). We are all 18

 

[beans]

All of them. Put up a whole spread

Pics are up

Nope - you'd be surprised how many cradle-snatchers are out there... plenty of girls LOVE to pop mens' cherries. Lots of girls find muscly men intimidating too and also think they may be gay... when you get older if you're still "skinnyish" it matters not .. if you have any charm, are at all funny, vaguely intelligent, have a car (or preferably coke - but that's another ball-game altogether that I don't play ).

Yeah I guess that has some element of truth as I did get lots of dances with girls. But I don't agree about the intimadiation thing. Most of the girls out there were ridiculously confident they probably wouldnt care about being scared of going up to a jock.

Be honest now, was it more that you were still acclimatising to your perceived "common-ness" of most of the girls who hit on you

Probably yeah! I was expecting there to be just tons of girls and no guys really

I met 2 girls about 3 weeks ago after a party in London, who announced they were going to get their vaginas immortalised in plastercast that afternoon as part of an art project. It was hard to retain my sang froid I must admit

Wtf! There are certainly a lot of unique personalities that study art

 

[beans]

I'm not encouraging it ... but in the words of the Man Like (just sayin' !) ...


https://www.facebook.com/SashaPresentsNeverSayNever?ref=ts

I don't get it :S

OK I have to be honest and admit I've seen and overheard some of the most terrible specimens of Britain's teenage population getting on buses to planes to and from Ibiza on Ibiza Rocks Hotel packages. There - I said it.

Exactly what we experienced. And also a lot of football songs on the buses.

However .... seems you had something in common with the guy who probably made the same mistake with his bookings as your mates did - and therefore had a basis for breaking the ice of your differing backgrounds .... so maybe the barriers of perception started to crumble on both sides ? Ibiza (imho) is all about tolerance and equality - certainly used to be in any case and still is amongst a great many people who live on the island and still visit.

I think he was too pissed off to talk to us. He basically said 'have you had the same problem with me' and we were like 'yeah' and then talked for a few minutes and then he stormed out after he had finished his shave. So it was a little conversation but i think he may have been pretty angry!

I think the concept of a "lads' holidays" being "classy" in the context of an 18-25 age group destination is something of a non-sequitur to be fair ! What you saw of Ibiza is only the tip of a very big iceberg, but if you're looking for something a little less rough around the edges you don't have to venture very far out of San An (and can find it within if you know where to go). However ... unless you hit the local Spanish haunts (which on the whole are very good indeed), you'll need to take considerably more cash next time if you want to tap into the better bits

Well we kind of want to get pissed, meet girls, even meet some guys (not in a relationship way but just some friends out there). We kinda did get that but they were basically all just chavs and if we got massively pissed we would probably get attacked/mugged/drugged etc. We weren't really looking for somewhere completely quiet. Back home, for nights out I can make friends with some decent people similar to me, chat up some girls, have some fun etc and not be worried too much about anything getting stolen or no worries about fights etc.

Some places sell bottles of water pre-frozen. They last a bit longer on the beach that way but not indefinitely obviously. When you sweat a lot, you lose vital salts which is what that powder replaces. No amount of water can cure severe dehydration without also replacing the salts which the body has lost. Alcohol and caffeine exacerbate dehydration so they also help counter the effects of that. You should still drink 2-3 litres of water or soft drinks per day if you're out a lot in that heat. It's definitely not a waste of money - essential for keeping healthy, even more so when you push yourself for long stretches with little sleep and drinking. More stamina = more enjoyable holiday by far so best to just budget for it.

Yeah you are right. I drink at least 2 litres of water at home and this is when I have not been drinking and when it is not boiling hot. I also kept getting these really painful cramps in my calf muscle which would be really painful but only last for about a minute or two during the night. And I think that has something to do with losing lots of salt from my body.

Ibiza does that for you - can somehow do so much more than when you're back at home. Being there gives you an amazing capacity for living and an incredible stamina for survival ... been taking full advantage of it for years

Yeah I really couldnt understand it though. If you see the picture I uploaded of the mega cheap drinks in the west end, we were expecting to get drunk after that but we all felt completely sober still. In a way it is annoying because I just want to get drunk but not spend a lot of money. Sometimes I just wish I could be a massive lightweight.

.. there's more than me were hoping for full enlightenment on your first trip ... but seriously, don't judge girls in Ibiza too harshly - sun, sea and sand can make people randy (at any age) but there's more provocative behaviour than shagging, especially with your age group it seems from what I keep reading (we seem to have been far more active on the whole from what I recall ).

If you're looking for another virgin then you may have a harder job of it - but I lost my virginity in a beach hut to a French woman 10 years my senior and never looked back ... she was certainly no "slapper" and I realized from the word go that there's a big difference between polyamory (surprisingly widespread if you look around) ... or "meanigful free love" if you will, and a quick go on one of the town bicycles !

I reckon that if I got so drunk I may have had sex there. Also, there are turnstiles and loads of security guys at the Ibiza Rocks hotel so it is impossible to bring a guest back to your room! I would have to go to hers if I were going to get sex that night.

Surprisingly, a great many people, especially of your age, do not Money is usually one of the factors but equally the ready availability of cheap drinks and free snogs is typically enough to keep many in San An for their first few trips !

My mates were desperate to go see all these big names at clubs so that was why we went. I wasn't really so much into the music (I'm more into underground hip hop music and most of those artists are American so none were anywhere near Ibiza). Basically I was just looking to get pissed, have a good time, have some decent memories and maybe get some girls. So I would have been happy to spend most of the time in the West End, but they weren't really. Also when we go to the beach, so many people approached us and they were all saying you have to go to the big clubs in Ibiza. They were saying Ibiza is not the same if you spend all your time in the little clubs and you have to experience the 'real' ibiza. They also said you can see all the little clubs back home.

Ibiza Rocks House at Pikes, maybe ... but definitely not the Hostal in San Antoni !

IR Hostal is a party hotel. Enough said ! Be quite happy to point you in the direction of some nice, reasonably-priced hotels which appeal to families, singles and 'restrained' groups not far from where you stayed but away from the downside of that particular location. Some are family-run too, have aircon and are quiet enough to get a decent night's sleep if you want it.

The Ibiza Rocks bar had some more friendly people in but it was just our hotel. If I go again, it is going to be hard to find a hotel because I am looking for somewhere that:
- Isn't so chavvy
- But at the same time has youths there to meet (not just families)
- Is reasonably cheap

The problem is - you either go to a nice hotel which is very quiet and family friendly but there will be no people your age to meet and no girls. Or you go to a hotel that is full of people swearing throughout the night, hard to get sleep and has lots of dodgy people.

Happy to - really enjoyed reading it and know all too well how long they take to write ! Would be good if you went back to the island with the insights you gained this trip, for another round. You can get loads of help and support on here if you want it - much more so than for any other place I've ever been. I honestly reckon the trials of your last trip were probably some of the best experiences you could possibly have had - unless you learn things the hard way, you never really learn them at all.

Yeah definitely. I am sure we would go back to Ibiza some time in the future. None of those mistakes would be made again hopefully. I am going on a gap year to Thailand for 3 months soon so a lot of what I have learnt will come in handy to not make those mistakes over there!

 

[beans]

it reminds me that walking by ibz harbor , some french lads (kind of punks/rude boys ) were trying to hit :x on the sheffield girl (keen on Mary Jane, pills ect..) i met in my hotel , telling her :come with us to our hotel we got drugz for free, free pass for club ect... i warn her that it is a trap, these guyz are scumbags , full of lies, all they want is to rape/abuse with (4thsome plan, three boys 1 girl ) & to go for pacha FMIF, don't worry you're my guest

whouaoW this review reminds me of bad sides from ibz trip...
I don't understand why some don't believe your words coz i'm sure through the way you narrow your trip, you are telling the truth...

the stuff to let your luggage in a hall 1st day in ibiza because i had to wait until 8h30 Am...(had to stay all time in the hotel , keeping an eye on my luggage..you're lucky not to get your luggage stolen )
purse snatch in after party in PDB getting closer to the bag of an austrian girlz that my m8 was hiting on..
snipping stuff..used to buy some drinks to the girls i hit on but with cheapy price i t would be hard for me to buy a drink to a girl now ... don't know how i will react if anyone want to sipp my drinks (want a gum instead ?on the house ,if i'm sure we'll get closer )
people that pretend to look friendly in order to get you buy their stuff...

...

When you mentioned those Sheffield guys it reminded me of this guy I saw in Ibiza. He looked Italian and basically I just saw a girl and was dancing with her a little but I did not want to do too much too soon. Then he basically just barged me out the way and went straight up to her and went straight into it with the girl. I was like 'what the f*ck do you think you are doing'. Then I saw him in another club on a different night. Not sure if he recognised me but I recognised him and I just gave him this evil look and walked off.

Thanks for actually believing me. Not a lot of people here do.

 

[beans]

surely a wind up ..... top reading though

no infact with the pics posted up now....its too good.....superb

Not a wind up. Why would I waste my time writing that much and then spending a lot of time writing long replies to every single comment on this review if it was a wind up.

 

[paddy87]

Eventually, we got off the plane and I was so surprised how hot and humid it was. It was unbearable in fact.

I saw one guy go up to my mate and he went to look through his pockets. I had my eyes ever so slightly open (I was squinting). Luckily, a cleaner came over to clean the floor near him. This stopped the guy looking in my mates pockets.

I basically just lived off these mints I bought - not ideal but better than using a disgusting tooth brush.

For a while we thought that there were no beaches in Ibiza and this was it. So we sat on a bench just thinking how bad this holiday was so far.

I then went in this room called the 'funky room' and literally lyed down on this big sofa and was really angry at everything.

We were then just thinking 'oh not again, this holiday has gone from bad to worse'.

We spent another day at the beach and I got massive sun burn.

It was Usain Bolt who had just set a new world record in the 100metre sprint. I missed it!

Then at one point, he stops the music and points at my mate and says 'Have you farted?' and the whole crowd laughs at him! He said he hadn't farted but later that night he admitted he did fart!

I was walking around dehydrated in the boiling heat searching for the shop but couldnt find it anywhere. Eventually I did find it though and it was closed so I was looking for another Moneygram. I found another one but it was also closed. I spent the whole day away from my mates and literally walked miles in the heat without a drink to find a Moneygram store that was open.

We saw a bus which went to San Antonio which we were about to get. I then realised I didn't have my wallet. So I panicked loads and sprinted over to where I just got my food as I thought I left it there. It wasnt there. I sprinted back and realised my mate had it. Panic over!

I mean Paulo Nutini is not that sort of artist where you can just start grinding too - it's just not right!

My mate got drunk and started letting out loads of secrets. He was basically saying he is not gay but if there was a really hot guy, he would shag him!

I basically just broke down in tears and I've never EVER done that before. It just went so bad. All 3 of us fell out.

I managed to catch two of them. Inside was these batman goggles and a cape!

Sorry for the massive quote but every one of them cracks me up! Your like the real life version of Badluckbrian on twitter

I especially love the fact that you pretended to be asleep while you thought someone was robbing your mate and only the cleaning lady saved him and also the fact that you didn't brush your teeth because you were incapable of finding a toothbrush

I so hope this is real it's made my day!

 

[paddy87]

I am going on a gap year to Thailand for 3 months soon so a lot of what I have learnt will come in handy to not make those mistakes over there!

From being incapable of finding a tooth brush in San Antonio to a 3 month trip to Thailand This is not going to end well! ha ha ha

Your my hero!

 

[Bez]

Good review from a fresh perspective.

For future reference, if anybody asks you to take a picture of them on a phone with naked pictures or suggestive open text messages... it usually means an invitation to join

 

[paddy87]

I would never take a slut back to my bedroom!

Really?

Are you sure your an 18 year old lad?

 

[NilSatis]

what a gang of nerds.

 

[Hywel]

This is a thread that just keeps on giving... cheers for delivering on the pic front.

You look a decent bunch of lads, reminds me of my first time away with the boys. And, despite your woes, you're smiling in most of the photos and that's all that matters at the end of the day.