WeLuvIbiza
Active Member
I'm guessing the cemetary was during your Goth years, Morbyd??
A bird watching hut at Bolton Abbey is my best offering
A bird watching hut at Bolton Abbey is my best offering
Does monogamy exist?
- Thread starter Robder
- Start date
A bird watching hut at Bolton Abbey is my best offering
...it's the apologetic delivery that got me there. 
Morbyd
Moderator
I think behind the bar in a busy nightclub would probably be the most I could offer to this worthwhile discussion
But we've gone all British and smut ridden again thanks to Olly's diversion.
The fact is = monogamy is a ridiculous idea.
The flip side of this doesn't have to be promiscuous smut.
Admittedly, sometimes this is the case but sex without commitment can be a respectful and worthwhile experience without the need to come away wanting to marry that person.
Let's not get all guilt ridden and discredit polygamy as something dirty. It ain't.
The fact is = monogamy is a ridiculous idea.
The flip side of this doesn't have to be promiscuous smut.
Admittedly, sometimes this is the case but sex without commitment can be a respectful and worthwhile experience without the need to come away wanting to marry that person.
Let's not get all guilt ridden and discredit polygamy as something dirty. It ain't.
Morbyd
Moderator
Ah, but there's a deeper lesson here.But we've gone all British and smut ridden again thanks to Olly's diversion.
Isn't this one of the ways people keep monogamy interesting? Through diversity of sexual experience?
Yes - it is one way to make it more interesting.
But I don't see it as a deeper lesson - it just sheds even more light on the farcical truth of monogamy.
It's similar to British sarcasm used as a means to compensate for our lack of openness.
But we've gone all British and smut ridden again thanks to Olly's diversion.
The fact is = monogamy is a ridiculous idea.
The flip side of this doesn't have to be promiscuous smut.
Admittedly, sometimes this is the case but sex without commitment can be a respectful and worthwhile experience without the need to come away wanting to marry that person.
Let's not get all guilt ridden and discredit polygamy as something dirty. It ain't.
i don't think anyone is..
I think you're stating the obvious and suggesting that everyone thinks a certain way, with you being the only open minded soul here.
Truth is you've obviously made your mind up about what people think, do and say and are closed to any ideas which don't fit in with your neat doctrine on people's sexual behaviour.
You're peddling a line about a lifestyle which many people follow on a regular basis, or have at some point in their life. it's not as radical as you think it is.
Having numerous sexual partners without being committed to one is what many, many people do nowadays. It ain't taboo, it ain't new, it's quite ordinary really in my experience.
I have had a shocking amount of partners, by any standards, in my past. I'm neither proud nor embarrased by it. But that doesn't stop me being able to commit to one now out of free choice.
Perhaps it makes me more able to, i don't know.
But you seem determined to put people in boxes to fit your theory, and i think people and relationships can be more complex than that.
Buckley
Well-Known Member
This. People are different Rob. From each other and sometimes from their past selves.
Morbyd
Moderator
Because it was around 18 years ago and I can't remember exactly what kind of government office building it was but that one sounds likely
Because it was around 18 years ago and I can't remember exactly what kind of government office building it was but that one sounds likely
the federal bureau of investigation ?
Morbyd
Moderator
That would be a level of cool I have yet to attain.
(despite having lived a couple of miles from CIA headquarters and knowing some Russians)
No such fun. Rather, some nondescript gov't office bldg in Boston.
weloveliam@space
Active Member
There is a board game called monogamy, I shi7 you not
WeLuvIbiza
Active Member
There is a board game called monogamy, I shi7 you not
Now, that doesn't look much fun...
Will consider myself put in my place sir. (or is it a box?)
Apologies if I appear blinkered and unable to see other points of view.
However
It's not a doctrine - it's an experience, albeit my own, however closed (or open as you put it).
We might come from different places but you can't deny this to be an interesting conversation. I might speak for myself here but am personally loving reading everyone's take on it - each opinion as valid as the next.
Coming into this experience as a gay man is really interesting - being told that what we practice goes against what's acceptable and normal, we're forced to become anarchists in our own way. Some people think gay marriage is the way forward but I think it's important to question modern relationship ideals and decide what works and what doesn't.
It's also not a line - it's me being brutally honest. I can't speak for others but I know exactly how I'd act if I chose to conform to the monogomy idea (which like it or not is pushed onto us by our culture).
I'd enjoy the challenge at first because I'm capable of falling in love too (just by the way).
...but then after a few years I'd start looking around despite myself.
I'd want to be honest with my partner but wouldn't feel able. I also wouldn't want them to be experiencing these same guilty thoughts so I'd try suppress my own.
Through not being acknowledged or expressed, that misdirected voice from my groin would get louder and I'd either explode with anger or create my own little world of guilt ridden clandestine behaviour. The guilt that followed would be enough to deter me from doing it again - and then five years later [of intimacy with the same person] I'd want to dabble again.
It's normal to function in this way - lust needs to be understood and expressed. If this happens through communication within a relationship (or al fresco sh@gging in bird sanctuaries
) and that works for you, great! So you have full permission to stand outside of that box I've supposedly put you in. 
I'm not trying to be taboo - there's nothing taboo about listening to your body's natural urges.
Refuse to draw a line under the conversation either so please continue.