A magical 3 days .. and 3 nights [4-7 July 2012]

This is my first post after reading this site most days for about the last 4 years but what a review! Have got zero work done today and cant wait for the ending!!

Great work chief!
 
baked scallops with lobster tail salad, rib eye steak with baby new potatoes, baked chestnut mushrooms and roasted butternut squash .. and a chocolate fondue dip with maple and pecan ice cream to finish.

That sounds like something from Masterchef8)
 
Muy Bien8)

For me one of Formenteras best vistas is sunset at La Mola Lighthouse. Not sure if you have already done it but if you ever get the chance.....do

You wont be dissapointed8)

FYI There is a return boat trip from San An to Formentera 10.30am every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Returns at 5pm. Fare is 37 return. They even let you return the following day if you like

Ta. No- never stayed over on Formentera - but if I go over for 4 nights or more at any stage away from 'Invasion Season' I'll definitely do it ... sounds lovely.

The bit in bold does sound like a bit of an "Irish Deal" to me I have to say .. with a 3 times a week sailing schedule ;)

Sure beats a day old foot long sub in the carpark of space:p

Too bl0ody right .. though I recall the 'footer' may have tasted just as good at the time - such was my proximity to total starvation and collapse :!:
 
Ushuaia - the first phase

Walking in to Ushuaia, it still has the fantasy gin palace feel to it I remember from last year's big Opening party. Except I've made it here in daylight .. and it's got an almost film set feel about it today. The whole place is oozing with the feeling of free-flowing cash. But somehow I already feel that I could go to the loo, come out again and find it's all been taken away leaving nothing but a bare shell. :confused:

The biggest difference I notice straight away is that the music's great .. Guy Gerber's sound is amazing :p:D .. and you can actually move on the dancefloor :eek:. Last time I was here, Reboot was banging out some of the most soul-less drivel I've ever heard :)roll:) and you had to fight your way across the floor :x.

Decide to go straight up to the very front of the dancefloor at the edge of the stage, turn around to face the floor and get my groove on :lol:. There's cool air blasting from nearby and comfort-wise, it all feels very ... pampered. There's an open bottle of French Champagne on the table beside M. Gerber and it all looks .. well .. pretty effete up there :lol::lol::lol: ! But notwithstanding this, the music is cool as can be. :twisted:

The crowd at the front are the most posey – the most self-aware bunch I've seen in as long as I can remember :rolleyes:. Behind them the slightly older crowd are immaculately sporting the latest in white fashion and shades. I certainly stand out in my black polo shirt with (tasteful !) deep mid blue, navy and black plaid shorts :confused:. Decide to fight fire with fire and blow the cobwebs off my best disco pout :twisted:. I must be the only one here not hiding wandering eyes behind designer shades – and I've no hesitation in looking directly at those who are as they eye me up and down and watch my every move. :eek::lol:
The atmosphere couldn't be further from my normal clubbing environment, but feel I'm holding my own OK so far – and as the set builds, I swap my pout for smiles :p. It takes no time at all to get others around me smiling too. Three youngish guys, clearly gay in tight shorts and showing more meat than most, have taken an interest in my moves and (hate to say it but yes ...) minced over to dance beside me :eek::eek::eek:. Oh - here we go again ! :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

I stick around long enough for my sharp exit to the bar not to be misconstrued as rudeness or lack of sang froid .. and get in a very pricey little bottle of Heineken to level my little head :confused:. It's followed very swiftly by a vodka redbull, which at 15Euros including Ibiza measure and a full can of redbull is far less of a fleece relatively speaking, and go for a wander round the pool area past the Bali beds to see what I can see. ;)

I'm suddenly tapped on the shoulder by a girl wearing a (clearly brand new) baseball cap. It's the friendly Australian girl from Space last night !! :eek: :eek: :eek:. We have a little chat, I ask if she got my text (no apparently :?:roll:!) and she invites me once again to join their group. Why not ? So off I trot, vodka-redbull in hand to see how they're enjoying things this time around !
I'm completely ‘hit from the side' so to speak as I'm led up to the large bottle service tables facing the stage behind the pool, and a silver wristband is attached to me by a very attentive member of Ushuaia's staff :eek:. Sitting there are the other three I met last night !
Without warning, a huge silver server with several chilled glasses appears containing a bottle which you can see from a distance by the label is Dom Perignon (unless there are some very good lookalikes doing the rounds!) . :eek: :eek: :eek: I'm offered a glass, but politely decline and toast them with my own drink instead. To be truthful, I just didn't fancy it – and was sufficiently intoxicated to have no qualms about doing exactly as I wanted ;). The Aussie hunk looked extremely surprised – not sure whether it was rude of me (nothing impolite was intended) ... but there were some bemused smiles around their group. :lol:

Out of courtesy I stuck around for a bit and had a chat with them, and a bit of a dance beside the Aussie girl who'd invited me to join them, as Adam Beyer's set got underway (8)). She looked bang up for getting in with the masses and raving all night .. really nice girl .. but I think the others were less keen. And it feels weird, detached and lonely up here. :evil:

It was shortly after this that I began to suspect that I had got my lines a little crossed in Space trying to have a conversation in the Discoteca over all that noise :confused: :confused:. Something about their behaviour and body language just didn't fit with the story I had heard about who they were, more so as the 3 of them sat watching us dance whilst having neck and shoulder massages at the table :spank:.

I looked over beyond the pool and the dancers draped in crystal were being prepared to make their grand entrance. It all just went really surreal.

I then overheard an exchange in the Aussie party which finally gave me the answer I was looking for – the normal looking (loaded) guy in khaki shorts and trainers in his 30s (still looking nervous and shifty) had not made his money in the prawn business after all :spank:. It was the PORN business – and lord only knows what these 3 with him were doing !!! I'm suddenly rather aware of my relatively boyish looks for my age and all sorts of things flash through my head :spank:.

Or more importantly what the f*ck I was doing up there with them :eek: :eek: :eek: – in VIP in f*cking USHUAIA for crying out loud :spank: :spank: :spank:!!!! I think I got a fair idea of what the Aussie hunk did when I said to him “So I never asked what it was you did” ... to receive a sniggered reply “Nahahaha – I'm not saying !!”. I brushed it off with a cool “It's of no consequence anyway I guess” .. and he seemed to like that response. Yep. I'm here partying with a porn magnate and his entourage who I though were in the fishing industry :eek:.

By now I have decided it's time to pick up my vodka red bull and skidaddle “to the (VIP) loos” - basically to get a hold of myself ... IMMEDIATELY. :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
 
Ushuaia - Phase 2

Coming out with my empty glass I decided to head back to the main floor where (relative) reality was prevailing as Adam Beyer was entertaining an appreciative dancefloor 8). I probably spent about 15 minutes there before spotting ... yes .... the lady in the coral dress from Space :eek::twisted::p – dancing on her own behind the DJ booth up beside a wall :eek: !!!!! Same infectious smile and great moves :twisted: – but no audience today :(.


For some reason I didn't think twice about it and went straight up to her. “Were you at Space last night ?” I asked. “Don't know – can't remember ... I'm off my face. Been up for 2 days straight – haven't been home”. :p


So she hadn't picked the same dress to wear out two nights in a row .. she was still in it from last night. Go girl !!! :twisted::twisted::twisted:


“What drugs have you taken ?” ... “Don't know !!!” (she replied through a beaming grin from ear to ear ;)) :lol:


At that there was only one thing to do – I didn't say a word – just took her by the hand and led her onto the dancefloor right in front of the stage, where I'd started the night 8)8)8). We danced – and I was having a great time. She was like a breath of normality in this imitation world we were stuck in. :p


We went to get a drink... and find fags... and the ladies' (for her !) as I looked after her bag :eek:. Even at this stage I had no fixed intentions – was just enjoying the moment and the unlikely ‘teaming up' which seemed to have just taken place without a word from either of us to speak of. It felt so natural – as if I'd known her for years and she was an old friend, even though we'd barely spoken. 8)8)8)


Now I must admit to feeling a little tiddly by this stage... and somehow she and I both wound up back with the Australians by their table, me feeling decidedly ‘safer' with my new companion in tow :rolleyes::oops:. It was obviously not the mix the Aussie hunk had in mind – and after a little finesse, I saw to it we both exited the area pretty sharpish :spank:.


Having seen her back to the dancefloor and now getting groovy with a bunch of people at the front (much as she's been doing at the back in Space in the final hours), I decided to go bid thanks and see ya later to the Australians... as you do :rolleyes::lol:. However, they had disappeared and like a mirage again :eek:, the VIP area they'd been in was in darkness and it felt a bit like returning to the Casino to find it was a set-up :?:?:confused:. The silver wristband was no longer ‘good to go' here. :rolleyes:


No worries – I was only trying to be polite ! :spank: So back to the floor it was and my favourite new dancing partner :p. She was getting chattier now and I decided to lark around playing up to the gay guys who were dancing around us. It was all just fun and laughs to me – but it was her first time ever in Ibiza and she did ask me (in good humour) whether I liked blokes rather than women :lol::lol::lol::spank:.


I put her ‘straight' and she clearly had a moment of “situation appraisal” – reckon she may have felt safe with me having assumed I was gay and this was not now computing :) ! I just took her by the hand again and danced in an old-fashioned way before this time I was the one being led off.... to a Bali Bed :eek: !


Now by this stage Sasha had already begun his set and I was loving the music even with all the ‘distractions'. I did tell her the beds were VIP and we'd probably get evicted but she seemed unconcerned :eek:. Was there something she wasn't telling me ... or did she really not care ? :confused:


I think I may have told her a story about someone jumping in the pool last year when security was heavy handed and what is reported to have followed by a friend who was there to witness :spank: – just to illustrate the seriousness with which Ushuaia reputedly took pool security at their parties (or at least used to). I definitely remember saying “no” to some sort of exchange along the lines of “do you dare me to do it” ! :confused: :arrow:


And then it happened. :eek::eek::eek:


I'd looked away at something or someone and in that time, the coral dress had been whipped over her head to reveal knickers and ... no ... bra, sandals were kicked off, handbag abandoned and before I could say “STOOOOPPPP” she'd entered the pool, wet her hair and was illuminated and beaming at everyone at the edges of the pool. :D8):lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


I suddenly thought – oh no .. I'm sat on one of these Bali Beds without a pass and it's all going to go Pete Tong any second. :eek::eek:


A whistle blew and I have a muddled recollection of a security guard jumping in the pool to “remove” her :oops:. Mother of Jesus, what now ?!! I grabbed her bag for safety in preparation for a possible prompt eviction (on one or both of our parts !) and darted behind the Bali Bed for a better view of her exit from a safer angle. ;)


She'd actually been helped back to the Bali bed and was looking wet, startled and alone :(. Of course I went straight back and sat beside her with her bag. Security were actually very nice and gave her time to compose herself there..


Trouble was she was completely unable to find the straps to her dress :lol:... and so the several attempts to get it back on just didn't work. I tried to help but couldn't find the straps either ... blind leading the blind here - I'm not used to helping women on with a dress !! :spank:


At that moment as we both fumbled in a hopeless attempt to restore her dress to it's allegedly rightful place :)lol:) - I just felt completely and utterly attracted to her.. :D she was dignified enough for me as she was, sat there on a Bali bed at Ushuaia without a ‘pass' – or a dress - and without a care in the world what anyone else thought of her 8)8)8)8)8)8). She already was, as far as I was concerned, a complete legend ! :p:twisted:


Our repeated failed attempts to get the dress back on had drawn attention and it was clear eviction was imminent :confused:. Not just from VIP – but from Ushuaia itself ! :lol::lol::lol: We managed to get the dress on like a tube to be held in place below the neck ... but as the strong-arm approached she managed to leave her shoes behind (although I still had her bag safe) and so after having our wristbands ceremonially cut off we were ushered to the exit. :spank:


And so ended my night at Ushuaia. :p


Despite Sasha's great set, all things considered, I couldn't have been happier to leave :p. It was now sometime between 11pm and midnight.. and we sat down together outside a bar nearby to recover and take stock. My flight was due to leave in about 2 hours :eek:. And here I am. Sat outside a bar with a woman I fancy, respect enormously and really get along with, who's shoeless, still wet, clutching her dress in place and fluctuating between wondering what on earth she just did, what she's going to do now and grappling to work out if she should be ashamed or not. I decide to give her my honest view. :arrow:


Nothing to be ashamed of – it's a flipping pool party for heaven's sake, we're in Ibiza and she's just showed more Ibiza spirit than everyone in that hotel combined 8). As far as I'm concerned she's a f*cking legend – and there's no way I'm going to turn around and say I'm going to put my flight first now. Any notion of that just vanished – tonight, I'm not even going to try to think about how I'll get home :p. She's flying home tomorrow afternoon and I'm here tonight. What more needs to be said 8).


I've my black flip flops in my car which she can borrow, a heater to warm her up and a place there to take as long as she needs to get that dress sorted. :twisted:. The night is young - it never enters my head to make a move right now.


I've thrown my ticket away - this is wild, free and hopelessly exciting. The chemistry here is crazy and the prospect of how much fun we could have tonight is overpowering. I'm completely blown away by it. :eek:8)8)8):twisted::twisted::p


So off we go... with Remo's CD cranked up to max, windows rolled down, both laughing our heads off as we pull out of Space car park like a pair of errant teenagers :D – except we're not .. and I'm headed for KM5 ;)

Tbc
 
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I've said it before and I'll repeat myself but your reports are now of legendary status!!!

Sounds as though we could all do with a night out in Ibiza with you as our guide :D

Is that it, or is there an epilogue? ;)
 
You did say and I quote...''don't intend to make a habit of it'' :spank:

I suppose a little like those who occasionally dabble in drugs .. the odd 'transgression' would not usually be classified as a "habit". :idea:

But as I've said before I'm not prepared to enter any further debate on this point I've said what I've said, done what I've done and am not going to hide the truth from my review. Right or wrong things are as they were. Peace out - and thanks for the caring - appreciated !
 
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Probably easiest if I just refer to the comments thread from my very first ever Spotlight review - all the same applies here ;)

http://www.spotlight-forums.com/showthread.php?t=71381

Hadn't read that one before, so more reading to get cracking with!

Just be careful, though, mate. I speak as someone whose dad got caught stupidly over the limit (in the UK). :spank: Well, he didn't so much get caught as smash into another car, thankfully without injury to anyone. Huge bill for the damage to the cars, fine, 2 year ban and pretty much forced into early retirement. He'd been doing it for years (despite myself and other people having a word); you can get away with it for ages, then it just takes one accident or randomly being pulled over to be in deep sh!t.
 
I'm justing mulling over words like "diving" and "coral":)

My mind does tend to wander.
 
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