Lent

djjaycool said:
I think if it is a first date and I will pay without a problem, but I won't object if the lady wants to go dutch.
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I managed to p!$$ off a chick once on a first 'date'. Someone I'd been talking to online (was going to meet at some point) found out I was going to a certain gig with my sis and invited herself along. I was cool with that and because my sis and I were going to dinner beforehand said out of politeness she could come to that too. Well, she wasn't too pleased that I didn't pay her part of the bill (should I have?), not that she mentioned it at the time...

Thing is, I can only afford to take myself out to dinner a couple of times a month. Let's face it, when you have a mortgage, car, bills and live alone, you don't have $h!t-loads of money for going out. I've argued this with people before. I don't think I'm ungenerous (certainly don't mind cooking and entertaining in the house; currently giving someone a lift into town everyday when going to work and not asking for a bean in return), just believe in living within my means...

I think whether you should feel obliged to pay for dinner depends on precise circumstances. Most of my dates are framed as drinking sessions, then we just casually agree to go for dinner if we get on (most of the time this leads to 50:50 on the bill). IME women who want everything paid for, especially when they may well be earning more than you, are a bit spoiled and not what I'm after anyway.
 
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i would expect to go dutch and even insist on it - that way no preconceptions of what's "owed" ;) at the end of the date from the woman
 
Johnny Vodka said:
I managed to p!$$ off a chick once on a first 'date'. Someone I'd been talking to online (was going to meet at some point) found out I was going to a certain gig with my sis and invited herself along. I was cool with that and because my sis and I were going to dinner beforehand said out of politeness she could come to that too. Well, she wasn't too pleased that I didn't pay her part of the bill (should I have?), not that she mentioned it at the time...

Thing is, I can only afford to take myself out to dinner a couple of times a month. Let's face it, when you have a mortgage, car, bills and live alone, you don't have $h!t-loads of money for going out. I've argued this with people before. I don't think I'm ungenerous (certainly don't mind cooking and entertaining in the house; currently giving someone a lift into town everyday when going to work and not asking for a bean in return), just believe in living within my means...

I think whether you should feel obliged to pay for dinner depends on precise circumstances. Most of my dates are framed as drinking sessions, then we just casually go for dinner if we get on (most of the time this leads to 50:50 on the bill). IME women who want everything paid for, especially when they may well be earning more than you, are a bit spoiled and not what I'm after anyway.
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I agree, if she is a decent person she will understand that fact of life.
 
Maybe some people determine their worth on how much someone is willing to spoil them? The only other person who wanted me to pay for everything expected me to put all the effort in in bed too. As soon as she'd finished (and that seemed to be her only goal), she didn't really care about where I was at... I thought it was us blokes that were meant to do that? :lol:
 
a cut out and keep for all the first time daters/lapsed daters/rusty daters/virgins on the forum

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DATING ETIQUETTE

rule 1 - the bloke always pays on the first date - it's your task to ensure the restaurant is classy enough to impress but not too pricey for your budget -if she gets all feminist or awkward about it, then invite her to pay for the drinks after 'at this bar you know' - ensure you know exactly where bar is, how much it costs and whether it is suitable - should ideally be a wine bar, with sade's mellow tones wafting in the background - maybe with a quirky edge, eg somewhere with a flute player in the corner.

rule 2 - talk about her not you - unless she pesters you for info in which case divulge nothing personal and have at least 3 amusing anecdotes to casually slip into conversation maybe something mildly embarassing which will make her laugh but do NOT let her think you're a habitual clown - remember you're a stallion not gene wilder

rule 3 - compliment her every 25mins - be subtle - don't overdo it - charm NOT smarm

rule 4 - open door, let her through - guide her into seat - let her choose wine first - let her start eating first - all basic etiquette - you're not neanderthal man

rule 5 - late on, after a few drinks brush her leg with your leg, see if she moves it - a telltale sign as to whether there is chemistry

rule 6 - monitor facial expressions, body language etc - is she going to the loo or for a fag every 5mins, is she flicking her hair, is she yawning, or looking at her phone, is she asking about how you are going to get back to your flat on the other side of town?

rule 7 - don't say anything negative about anything or anyone - it's a date not a therapy session

rule 8 - exude quiet confidence, walk tall

rule 9 - don't assume anything even if you studiously followed rules 1-8 - the woman can change her mind just like that

rule 10 - ignore all the above and run for the hills if she's some boiler, gold digger or vixen with long spindly fingers
 
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Olly said:
a cut out and keep for all the first time daters/lapsed daters/rusty daters/virgins on the forum

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DATING ETIQUETTE

rule 1 - the bloke always pays on the first date - it's your task to ensure the restaurant is classy enough to impress but not too pricey for your budget -if she gets all feminist or awkward about it, then invite her to pay for the drinks after 'at this bar you know' - ensure you know exactly where bar is, how much it costs and whether it is suitable - should ideally be a wine bar, with sade's mellow tones wafting in the background - maybe with a quirky edge, eg somewhere with a flute player in the corner.

rule 2 - talk about her not you - unless she pesters you for info in which case divulge nothing personal and have at least 3 amusing anecdotes to casually slip into conversation maybe something mildly embarassing which will make her laugh but do NOT let her think you're a habitual clown - remember you're a stallion not gene wilder

rule 3 - compliment her every 25mins - be subtle - don't overdo it - charm NOT smarm

rule 4 - open door, let her through - guide her into seat - let her choose wine first - let her start eating first - all basic etiquette - you're not neanderthal man

rule 5 - late on, after a few drinks brush her leg with your leg, see if she moves it - a telltale sign as to whether there is chemistry

rule 6 - monitor facial expressions, body language etc - is she going to the loo or for a fag every 5mins, is she flicking her hair, is she yawning, or looking at her phone, is she asking about how you are going to get back to your flat on the other side of town?

rule 7 - don't say anything negative about anything or anyone - it's a date not a therapy session

rule 8 - exude quiet confidence, walk tall

rule 9 - don't assume anything even if you studiously followed rules 1-8 - the woman can change her mind just like that

rule 10 - ignore all the above and run for the hills if she's some boiler, gold digger or vixen with long spindly fingers
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WOAH thats a lot to think about :eek::lol:

My first date with the BF involved going to the cinema and watching Knocked Up - great first date movie - those who have seen it will know what I mean, luckily we laughed it off!
 
xxVic-zeexx said:
I think most guys still stick to the old fashion way, and they pay on the first date and wont accept a woman even suggesting to pay even half, sometimes...

I however will always offer to pay my share but who am i to argue it if the guys stick to tradition ;):lol:
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Haha. I don't, but then, I haven't had the money for such things until recently. I personally think it should be that you go halves.

Olly: Amusing read.
 
Olly:

Good set of rules and most guys do follow them...

Point 4 - FAIL !! this rule isnt followed at all, not in my lifetime of dating anyway...

I did once get a box of chocolates on a first date, he said he was gona stop off at a garage and get me some flowers put thought that would be a bit OTT :lol: Funny thing with that was he was obviously joking about it, but i was laughing at the fact he actually got me chocolates in the first place, talk about old fashioned, bless him :lol:
 
Johnny Vodka said:
Maybe some people determine their worth on how much someone is willing to spoil them? The only other person who wanted me to pay for everything expected me to put all the effort in in bed too. As soon as she'd finished (and that seemed to be her only goal), she didn't really care about where I was at... I thought it was us blokes that were meant to do that? :lol:
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You should have given her the boot right away.

@Olly good read
 
I don't get the whole cinema for dates thing, especially a first date!

And Re: the rules, if your partner fails to respond to your funnies are you allowed to poke them to see if they're still alive?
 
djjaycool said:
You should have given her the boot right away.
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We saw each other precisely 3 times. She wasn't unattractive (for someone a good 6 years older than me), but she was slightly nuts. She'd be the one initiating bouts of phsyical contact (she always pounced on me), but then afterwards would say we shouldn't have done it. So lots of blowing hot and cold. Strangely, we're now Facebook friends, but I think I'm best leaving her at Facebook distance.
 
Johnny Vodka said:
I don't get the whole cinema for dates thing, especially a first date!

And Re: the rules, if your partner fails to respond to your funnies are you allowed to poke them to see if they're still alive?
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I think it is a bad first date. You can only get a feel of the person if they don't slap your hand;):lol:
 
Cinema date for me is a no go....

I much prefer a casual drink in a bar that hopefully leads to a massive night out on the piss just the two of you....once did this and did the classy thing of gettin a kebab at the end of the night :lol:
 
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