Matthew Benjamin aka Bushwacka! says...
Bye bye Ibiza....
I have been awake since around 5.30am, way before the dawn.
As I sit and start to write, I realise the end is almost upon me. I have lived in Ibiza since 2013. The dream began like this:
On the 9th April 2013 I left my flat in Ladbroke Grove, London, to buy a pint of milk. The shop was only across the road from my place. It was snowing heavily, and windy. By the time I had arrived in the shop I decided that next winter I would take 3 months away from London. By the time I had reached the warmth of home again, minutes later, I had made a decision. I was going to move to Ibiza, and start my life there. Exactly one month later, on the 9th May 2013 I boarded the plane, a one way ticket. This was not a “I am going to spend the summer in Ibiza” manoeuvre - this was for the long haul.
Yet now, as I finish deconstructing the house and life I have built here, putting the last few things into boxes, having sold all the furniture, save for the sofa I am sitting on now, which gets picked up tomorrow, I contemplate what has happened in these five years, in fact five and a half. I watched the sunrise this morning from one of my two happy places, this one close to my house, overlooking the bay of Talamanca. I sat with my dog, taking in the sounds, and the sights. The swell of the sea, the stereo waves hitting the pebbly shore, and dragging the pebbles back out, gentle, yet powerful. The low rumble of the ferry boat engines from the other side, the seagulls gliding and swooping, the odd plane coming in, and yacht going out, the gurgle of the drainage flute nearby. A deep red half orb started rising up from the blue grey low cloud, soon becoming a solid circle, through haze and creating colours I could only dream of. The beauty and majesty of nature unfolding in front of me yet again. I took it all in and contemplated the fact I will only have one or two more of these magic morning moments in this spot, before I move on in a few days.
Moving back to the UK has been on my radar for over a year now. Last August I took a road trip round some of the English Countryside, and fell in love with the English culture again. Weather aside, there is something that resonates deeply inside me going back to my roots. I have what I regard as good reason to go back. I am studying and need to be in London to fulfil my responsibilities and training, at least for a few years. My family is there, my son, my father, his wife, my little sister soon to return too, and my instinct is telling me I need to be there for them now, as life passes us by oh so quickly. Its time to go home. Its time to rebuild, and to ground myself again.
And what of Ibiza? Well I arrived here clean and sober in May 2013. However an addict living with a dealer was never going to end well, best friends or not, and in August 2013 I relapsed. The next 24 months became the Matthew equivalent of “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”. In between me desperately searching for another way to get and stay clean - hypnosis - ayahuasca - boot camps - juice cleanses - none of it worked for long, and from 2014 to August 2015 my life became total insanity and a living nightmare for most of the time, degrading from crazy benders to eventually me locked in a dark room in my own house for moths, expecting imminent death and praying someone would rescue me. Those were the bad times. On the 7th August 2015 I took myself out of the loop, and went to treatment for 6 weeks. I have never looked back. My life in recovery has been 100% clean and sober ever since, and I am now living what I regard as a life beyond my wildest dreams. And its all happened in Ibiza. I have lived the dream, then the nightmare and now the dream again.
So its almost time to say goodbye to my home here. I will be coming back, for gigs, for hikes, swims, holidays, and quality time. So much has happened here in Ibiza for me. Ive lost myself, I’ve found myself, I’ve written a book, built two studios, fallen in love, rescued three adoring animals, including my dog Laika who is the most loving adoring creature ever and has changed my life. I have had psychotic crazy flatmates that have been toxic to me, and have had the best flatmates in the world, who I have stayed friends with and love dearly. I have found my artistic side and took a year painting here. I have finally learned to slow down and breathe. Appreciate nature. Ive learned what it means to love myself, to be good to myself, to really feel what that means. And I have learned to love others again. Something I thought may never happen, and now I am head over heels in love with the most amazing woman in the world. And friends too - I can count on one hand the friends that I have made here that really are friends. They know who they are and I know who they are. I love them dearly and am so grateful for their friendship. All these things have been given to me here in Ibiza. As for my Djing I’ve been blessed to have had two amazing residencies here in the last 5 years, one at Sankeys for Dance 88/89 where I did 20 shows the first year and 14 the second year. Then there is Pikes, for me the last bastion of Ibiza eccentric naughtiness on a regular basis. I have been gifted with Saturday nights there for the last two years and though I don’t do the whole season it’s just one of the best residencies I’ve ever had. Magic still exists in my world with the illegal parties too, for those who know, we have thrown incredible full moon outdoor parties in special secret locations at least once a year and they still beat everything else vibe wise. So I feel very lucky to be able to share my gift of music in many ways here. Still this island can drive one crazy of course!
For all the bullshit, the flakey people, the pirates, the politics, the egos, the let downs, the piss takers, the rip off merchants, and the infuriating bureaucracy, Ibiza has given me more than I could ever have dreamt.
Its not what it was here. Nowhere near it. In the 5 years I have been here its changed beyond measure. In the 24 years I was here every year before that it was much more constant. It was magic for its craziness, its after parties, its sexiness, its lunacy, its colourful energy, and its freedom. Now those qualities are a shadow of what they were. Yes they still exist, but only just. This isn’t a moan, its a fact. The gentrification of Ibiza has totally changed the type of people that frequent the island now. Its out-priced itself and the greed of a few has affected the lives of many. Will it ever be the way it was years ago? I think not. At least not for my generation. Nothing stays the same. Its a victim of its own popularity. This tiny island has given millions upon millions of people the time of their lives. There is nothing secret here anymore. But its still the most beautiful energetic special little island in the world to me, and to loads of others, and there are some amazing people here.
I came here for the weather. Everything else has been an adventure. A roller coaster. The highs and the lows have been galactic. I can’t believe I am still here to talk about it, all things considered. Im so grateful. Thank you Ibiza for giving me all you have given. I will miss you terribly. I will always love you.
