Iraqi footballer
Sir Alex Ferguson flies out to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play football, and is impressed and so arranges for him to come over to England.
Two weeks later United are 4 - 0 down to City with only 20 minutes left.
The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod, and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation as he scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for United.
The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the young Iraqi comes off the pitch, he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in Premiership football.
"Hello mum, guess what?" he says.
I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4 -0 down but i scored 5 goals and we won. Everybody loves me "The fans, the media they all love me".
"Wonderful", says his Mum, " Now let me tell you about my day:x
your father got shot in the street and robbed; your sister and i were ambushed; gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters; and all the while you were having such a great time".
The young lad is very upset.
"What can i say Mum, except i am very sorry?"
"Sorry?!!!Sorry?!!!Sorry?!!!" explodes his Mum.
"It's your bloody fault we moved to Manchester in the first place"!!!