Nightclub ejections!

Gods Kitchen in Birmingham circa2000/2001

Had just acquired some swedgers in the club and handed one over to my mate just as a bouncer appeared from nowhere. He grabbed us both and roughly escorted us to the nearest fire exit and slung us out. Realising our coats were still in the cloakroom we walked round to the entrance and before we got there found another fire escape that was wide open! It led straight up some stairs so we crept up them and found ourselves back in the club and had a crackin time for the rest of the night !:D
 
It's always a fire escape isn't it? Security training must specify the nearest available exit.
 
Buckley said:
It's always a fire escape isn't it? Security training must specify the nearest available exit.
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I think they must enjoy clattering you into to something that you basic end up falling through and seeing you land on your arse ! #knuckledraggers
 
Took my younger brother to ibiza for his first time in 2013 . Off the plane and straight to dc10 for circoloco . It was also his first experience on the jack and Jill's and he was massively on another level pulling all sorts of faces . He was enjoying himself so much he was going off and Doing his own thing chatting to all sorts and making new friends :D when around 11 pm I'm conversing with another random when this guy says to me I think your phone is ringing , so I answer the phone and it's my little brother . Where are you mate , in which he replys he is outside and he has been thrown out .once outside I find him and he is in a right state :confused: like I've never seen . And he says he was chucked out cos the bouncers thought he was gurning so much . Although I was annoyed it did make me laugh especially how dc10 used to be fairly relaxed back in the day. Just wish I took a picture of him , spent the whole night picking his jaw up from the floor :lol:
 
gutsy said:
Took my younger brother to ibiza for his first time in 2013 . Off the plane and straight to dc10 for circoloco . It was also his first experience on the jack and Jill's and he was massively on another level pulling all sorts of faces . He was enjoying himself so much he was going off and Doing his own thing chatting to all sorts and making new friends :D when around 11 pm I'm conversing with another random when this guy says to me I think your phone is ringing , so I answer the phone and it's my little brother . Where are you mate , in which he replys he is outside and he has been thrown out .once outside I find him and he is in a right state :confused: like I've never seen . And he says he was chucked out cos the bouncers thought he was gurning so much . Although I was annoyed it did make me laugh especially how dc10 used to be fairly relaxed back in the day. Just wish I took a picture of him , spent the whole night picking his jaw up from the floor :lol:
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http://wundergroundmusic.com/techno...reconstruction-after-excessive-chin-stroking/
 
Dan x said:
Wheeey! :D:spank:

My most memorable nightclub red card was at a Fatboy Slim event in Brighton - it was a super-hard-to-get-hold-of-ticket type event when he was at his most popular (essentially a God in Brighton)...Though the event was at, I think, the Corn Exchange, and the main room where ol' Norman was playing was in a separate room to the bar and the toilets, and there was a stupidly busy queue to get into the main room (as the capacity of the main room was less than the number of people in the event)..So anyway once you're in the main room, you bloody well did everything you could to stay there....

So as anyone who's spent more that 30 minutes in my company, they'll know my bladder is about as resilient as the Chelsea forward line once in the penalty area. So when the time came - after much deliberation I hasten to add - I skulked off into a corner (the event was in a theatre type stage, so loads of seating around the edge) and relieved myself into a nearby pint glass....If you can picture the scene my back is facing everything else, and my hands are, well, down there. Just as I'm about to finish I get grabbed by a security guard and manhandled through a few fire escapes and ungentlemanly sent on my way. There was no resistance from myself - it was a fair cop, and I entirely accept it's not the 'done thing' to do what I did.

With the benefit of hindsight I now know that the bouncers assumed I was 'sorting something out'. I know this because as I stood outside the fire escape quite gutted with myself and wondering what to do - contemplating this armageddon scenario that my night was now ruined and all my pals were inside, the SAME fire doors burst open, and the same bouncer - now with one other chum - run out, point at me, and shout "you dirty little 'sausage'*, that was piss wasn't it", and whilst one of them starts sticking his fingers down his throat the other one proceeds to chase me, now howling like a hyena as my new understanding of events happens, and the poor bugger though not only had he exercised his power trip, but he also snared a fresh pint to have a swig or two of my, well, piss.

Not even Bolt can outrun me when I'm being chased by bouncers, and the end of the story is even full of win, as I eventually went round to the front, and by virtue of having a cloakroom ticket convinced the guy on the door (oblivious to piss-gate that had just happened round the back) to let me in just to get my jacket, and I immedaitely ran into the crowd, found the rest of my ganag and swapped shirts to avoid detection, and dined out on the story for the next 2.5 ears of university :D

* He didn't actually use the word sausage, it was a 4 letter on beginning with C and ending in T
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Can anyone better this legendary tale yet?
 
Only time, at Awakenings in the Gashouder last October.

With 4 of my mates about 6 in the morning, Joris Voorn was on, all of us peaking.. 4 security guards come upto 2 of my mates and lead them off. We presume that they've been caught doing something they shouldn't, after about 10 minutes another bunch of security guards come and ask us to step outside, am eyeballs twitching at this point but have nothing on me so not that bothered about getting searched.

Get outside and there's 4 Dutch police riot vans and about 40 police waiting for us, with my 2 other mates just stood there. Turned out some random Scottish fella who looked like he was stuck in a trip, had said my mate had pickpocketed them :lol: and the event security had phoned the police thinking we where some type of traveling European pickpocketing gang, the head bizzies apologised to us but we where still asked to leave :confused:
 
I got chucked out of Sankeys Ibiza for hugging the bass bin in the basement! Was bad as we were hosting spektrum...I was found in a right pickle about an hour after that.
 
Dan x said:
Wheeey! :D:spank:

My most memorable nightclub red card was at a Fatboy Slim event in Brighton - it was a super-hard-to-get-hold-of-ticket type event when he was at his most popular (essentially a God in Brighton)...Though the event was at, I think, the Corn Exchange, and the main room where ol' Norman was playing was in a separate room to the bar and the toilets, and there was a stupidly busy queue to get into the main room (as the capacity of the main room was less than the number of people in the event)..So anyway once you're in the main room, you bloody well did everything you could to stay there....

So as anyone who's spent more that 30 minutes in my company, they'll know my bladder is about as resilient as the Chelsea forward line once in the penalty area. So when the time came - after much deliberation I hasten to add - I skulked off into a corner (the event was in a theatre type stage, so loads of seating around the edge) and relieved myself into a nearby pint glass....If you can picture the scene my back is facing everything else, and my hands are, well, down there. Just as I'm about to finish I get grabbed by a security guard and manhandled through a few fire escapes and ungentlemanly sent on my way. There was no resistance from myself - it was a fair cop, and I entirely accept it's not the 'done thing' to do what I did.

With the benefit of hindsight I now know that the bouncers assumed I was 'sorting something out'. I know this because as I stood outside the fire escape quite gutted with myself and wondering what to do - contemplating this armageddon scenario that my night was now ruined and all my pals were inside, the SAME fire doors burst open, and the same bouncer - now with one other chum - run out, point at me, and shout "you dirty little 'sausage'*, that was piss wasn't it", and whilst one of them starts sticking his fingers down his throat the other one proceeds to chase me, now howling like a hyena as my new understanding of events happens, and the poor bugger though not only had he exercised his power trip, but he also snared a fresh pint to have a swig or two of my, well, piss.

Not even Bolt can outrun me when I'm being chased by bouncers, and the end of the story is even full of win, as I eventually went round to the front, and by virtue of having a cloakroom ticket convinced the guy on the door (oblivious to piss-gate that had just happened round the back) to let me in just to get my jacket, and I immedaitely ran into the crowd, found the rest of my ganag and swapped shirts to avoid detection, and dined out on the story for the next 2.5 ears of university :D

* He didn't actually use the word sausage, it was a 4 letter on beginning with C and ending in T
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Still the winner
 
Got chucked out the Subclub one Hogmanay for being bladdered.

Wouldn't have been so bad except I was the chargehand and working behind the bar. Wasn't fired or anything just given a night off and escorted to a taxi!
 
A friend's workcolleague got kicked out of an almost empty pub in London Fields for staggering between our table and the bathroom. Not disorderly, but definitely drunk. :lol:
 
dantboy said:
I got chucked out of Sankeys Ibiza for hugging the bass bin in the basement! Was bad as we were hosting spektrum...I was found in a right pickle about an hour after that.
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Not necessarily kicked out of a club - but denied entry to Sankeys Ibiza during September 2015. Three of us on a very late flight, landed around 2AM as pissed as a fart. Got a taxi straight into PDB and collected a combination of little ones and wonky dust.

We proceeded to wander behind the bars opposite Sankey's for our first bump of the evening. It was incredibly badly lit and the combination of little visibility and a skinful of booze wasn't best when portioning out.

We managed to wonk across the road to Sankeys - the first two of us making it past security, but our friend wasn't so lucky. We turned around to see him saying "Is that your mate? He can't come in, he's like this" and proceeded to form a 90 degree angle.

We then spent the next hour slipping about 5 dimensions and trying to get a taxi home - not clever :confused:
 
Me and a mate were refused to exit by bouncers at a place called Carbolic Frolic in Edinburgh one time. Was definitely wasted, but for some reason I never understood I was punched in the face by someone in the toilets when I came out of the cubicle. Bouncers arrived, chucked him and his mates out but we were ok to stay. We decide our night was over since there was blood all over my tshirt so went to leave anyway, but the bouncers wouldn't let us out since the boy and his mates were hanging about, obviously waiting for us. So there are some decent bouncers around, and those ones probably saved us from getting a right good kicking.
 
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