Nightclub ejections!
- Thread starter Johnny Vodka
- Start date
The Arches in Glasgow for refusing a search.
Every nightclub in my home town for various reasons, but never for fighting, I'm glad to say. I haven't been in a fight since 1992.
One was for shouting abuse at Tall Paul while he was DJing
We were giving him a hard time for his dodgy mixing. He eventually lost it and had the bouncers chuck us out.
Every nightclub in my home town for various reasons, but never for fighting, I'm glad to say. I haven't been in a fight since 1992.
One was for shouting abuse at Tall Paul while he was DJing
We were giving him a hard time for his dodgy mixing. He eventually lost it and had the bouncers chuck us out.Oo a few, a local club for calling my not so lovely ex the big C word stupidly loudly then dodging the drink thrown in my direction..
Fisticuffs :-( Not for a good few years though and always in my own defence!
Wrongly accused of 'slapping' a glass collector - Well.. accused didn't even happen, I was just lifted off the floor and dragged out stunned as to why then in fits of laughter when I found out what I'd been accused of as the glass collector looked the spitting image of one of my hero's Claude Makelele! (I never slapped or even had seen the glass collector that night!)
Oh Claude!
http://img.skysports.com/07/11/218x298/Claude_Makelele_2_603377.jpg
Fisticuffs :-( Not for a good few years though and always in my own defence!
Wrongly accused of 'slapping' a glass collector - Well.. accused didn't even happen, I was just lifted off the floor and dragged out stunned as to why then in fits of laughter when I found out what I'd been accused of as the glass collector looked the spitting image of one of my hero's Claude Makelele! (I never slapped or even had seen the glass collector that night!)
Oh Claude!
http://img.skysports.com/07/11/218x298/Claude_Makelele_2_603377.jpg
Johnny Vodka
Well-Known Member
A nightclub ejection for a nightclub erection?
Ikoda
Well-Known Member
Malk
Active Member
In a round about way I ejected myself from a nightclub.
At The Arches for Pressure and felt a bit sick, in no way gassed. I asked the bouncer if I could go out for some fresh air. Walked out, spewed up a side street and was refused re-entry. *****.
I was also refused entry to Pressure another night. I was 23, had a passport, prove it card, bank card with my picture on it and the bouncer refused to believe it was me. ****.
At The Arches for Pressure and felt a bit sick, in no way gassed. I asked the bouncer if I could go out for some fresh air. Walked out, spewed up a side street and was refused re-entry. *****.
I was also refused entry to Pressure another night. I was 23, had a passport, prove it card, bank card with my picture on it and the bouncer refused to believe it was me. ****.
mashednlovingit
Well-Known Member
You must have been f'cked.
Last edited by a moderator:
Johnny Vodka
Well-Known Member
Only been refused entry to The Arches once - by a female bouncer. Well, more a case of being told to go drink a bottle of water and come back. Even though I wasn't drunk. (Did I heck come back!) Especially strange since seemingly anything goes once you're in. 
Well, more a case of being told to go drink a bottle of water and come back. Even though I wasn't drunk. (Did I heck come back!) Especially strange since seemingly anything goes once you're in. Did you not read the title and wonder how you get sent off in a nightclub Morbs?
Wheeey!
My most memorable nightclub red card was at a Fatboy Slim event in Brighton - it was a super-hard-to-get-hold-of-ticket type event when he was at his most popular (essentially a God in Brighton)...Though the event was at, I think, the Corn Exchange, and the main room where ol' Norman was playing was in a separate room to the bar and the toilets, and there was a stupidly busy queue to get into the main room (as the capacity of the main room was less than the number of people in the event)..So anyway once you're in the main room, you bloody well did everything you could to stay there....
So as anyone who's spent more that 30 minutes in my company, they'll know my bladder is about as resilient as the Chelsea forward line once in the penalty area. So when the time came - after much deliberation I hasten to add - I skulked off into a corner (the event was in a theatre type stage, so loads of seating around the edge) and relieved myself into a nearby pint glass....If you can picture the scene my back is facing everything else, and my hands are, well, down there. Just as I'm about to finish I get grabbed by a security guard and manhandled through a few fire escapes and ungentlemanly sent on my way. There was no resistance from myself - it was a fair cop, and I entirely accept it's not the 'done thing' to do what I did.
With the benefit of hindsight I now know that the bouncers assumed I was 'sorting something out'. I know this because as I stood outside the fire escape quite gutted with myself and wondering what to do - contemplating this armageddon scenario that my night was now ruined and all my pals were inside, the SAME fire doors burst open, and the same bouncer - now with one other chum - run out, point at me, and shout "you dirty little 'sausage'*, that was piss wasn't it", and whilst one of them starts sticking his fingers down his throat the other one proceeds to chase me, now howling like a hyena as my new understanding of events happens, and the poor bugger though not only had he exercised his power trip, but he also snared a fresh pint to have a swig or two of my, well, piss.
Not even Bolt can outrun me when I'm being chased by bouncers, and the end of the story is even full of win, as I eventually went round to the front, and by virtue of having a cloakroom ticket convinced the guy on the door (oblivious to piss-gate that had just happened round the back) to let me in just to get my jacket, and I immedaitely ran into the crowd, found the rest of my ganag and swapped shirts to avoid detection, and dined out on the story for the next 2.5 ears of university
* He didn't actually use the word sausage, it was a 4 letter on beginning with C and ending in T
Johnny Vodka
Well-Known Member
^
sweet sensation
Active Member
at dan!! classic!my most memorable (or rather not) was being carried by my armpits out of space by 2 bouncers shouting at me in spanish! I still am a bit oblivious as to what I did
it was either dancing on the stage after being told to get off, hounding zabiela in the dj booth (he didnt mind) or taking pictures with my camera!I was literally thrown out of the door to the car park!
when i was younger i got thrown out of a local place for smoking a spliff, the threw me out thinking i had thrown the spliff in the bin, then i sat down the road and smoked it very smugly with my mate while they watched!
another time wasnt my fault, my mates let off a fire extinguishger in the pleasuredromes chillout room and filled the entire room with blue powder so everyone was choking!! quite scary that one!!
I once got ejected on the way in to a club.
I was 16, and looked it, but we had several 18 year olds in our group so I borrowed one of their birth certificates. I had learnt everything off by heart, full name, date of birth, obviously any address would do, and it did. Bouncer gave me the nod after confidently answering his quick fire questions, and I got about five paces into the club and he shouted "Oi, what's your star sign?" Didn't have time to take my coat off to go and get it.
I was 16, and looked it, but we had several 18 year olds in our group so I borrowed one of their birth certificates. I had learnt everything off by heart, full name, date of birth, obviously any address would do, and it did. Bouncer gave me the nod after confidently answering his quick fire questions, and I got about five paces into the club and he shouted "Oi, what's your star sign?" Didn't have time to take my coat off to go and get it.