I will be telling people who just wouldn’t understand that I had a very chill time by the pool and read a couple of trashy novels.
What actually happened went something like this:
We hit the tarmac just after 1 in the morning. It was a barmy Saturday morning. 2004 had been a really bad year for me. The week before the holiday had been really stressful. I had been feeling very blue. Don, who is probably my closest friend, and I had had a huge falling out four weeks or so before we went away. It was touch and go whether we would go or not. But we were here and I needed this holiday so very badly.
I was really sad that Rio wasn’t with us but he couldn’t make it this year. Lessons needed to be learnt from last year ( http://www.ibiza-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=8487&highlight=hols+ibiza ). I knew from last year that this was the place for me. I love my house music so much and I had spent all year, every day on this forum, learning…. so that when I went again I could do it properly and not feel that I had always been at the wrong place at the wrong time.
We scurried out of the airport and after a little “this IS the damn queue for the taxis” agro we were on our way to hotel esVive. Brilliant. On arrival I had good vibes bubbling hardcore inside. This was gonna be it.
We left our bags with reception, as we couldn’t book into our room until 12 midday. Well planned holiday this was
We had a drink in the bar and did our first thrill. I had butterflies in me tummy before it even hit me belly
We then walked into Ibiza town. It was hot and humid but we were hardened veterans of the beastly heat and we could handle this easily. We smoked a couple of biftas and I swung my shoulders all the way down those wide roads like I owned the mother funking place.
We got the boat from the harbour. As if there was any other way we would get there! I came up like a trooper on the boat and it was just beautiful. I could actually have done without the strong smell of petrol fumes. We entered el Devino and bang…. It hit me… this is why I was here. Straight for the dance floor for some introductory hip swinging. Oh yeah man this is what I want and this is what I need. Best thing… this is what I have got. Danced for a little bit but mostly just took huge gulps of air as I took it all in and tried to calm myself down whilst grinning and gurning like a nutter.
DEFECTED is so so so in the house.
** mental note to self: wallet feels clumsy in pocket and makes groovin’ tricky, from here on in take only one or two cards and some cash. **
I asked at the dj booth if Andy Daniel was there and the bloke said he had just finished. So I went to the VIP entrance and said to the goon to say hi to Andy for me. He must have reckoned I knew him coz he said I could go say hi if I was really quick. I kinda knew him. We had been chatting through the forum before I went away. I was trying to get him to play a choon for me on my first night LOL. I was also trying to blag guestlist…. I am not sure if he did sort me out because I had also got our travel agents to try so when we got to the door there was me plus 2 on the list. Anyway I am digressing severely now. I went over to the very young looking geezer surrounded by assorted VIP types and said “Alright Andy its me DiscoDude from the forum”… LOL he said nice one and pointed his young finger at me and said “you better give us a good review”. I already knew I was gonna…. so I smiled and said “we’ll see” and was gone back to the dancefloor so that I had something to review.
Had a fun little groove…..
Then Don and I sat out side for a while chatting to two birds and a bloke from bligthty who were out for the summer working. Lucky funkers! Can clearly remember coming up again at this point. So that must mean I had another thrill and another, I guess, as I came up again on the dance floor as the sun rose. SUPERB. I was just loving it. Sandy Rivera was playing brilliant uplifting so soulful choons. I had done the right thing. This was just what I needed. Don and I were grinning at each other like new found long lost friends…. which in a way we were. Then I heard it. I didn’t say anything for a second just to make sure. BUT YES… I was sure I was so sure… here it came…. I could hear the intro to Black Water – by Octave One (a blessed one hit wonder) coming in on the mix……
Do dolida do
Do dolida do
Do dolida dolida da dolida da
I asked Don the time and he said that it was seven. No way, I said, this was gonna be the last choon. This was cosmic.
Blackwater is a choon that runs to the heart of who I am. The Christmas before last was the lowest point of my life ever. And at the center of all that was the fact that I was in love with a bird who didn’t want me. House music had saved my soul, that Christmas, like it had done once or twice before. Don and I had gone on a wicked little binge and the whole time whenever possible I played “You Groove me” – By Jon Cutler.
It’s the third last choon on Beach House 04.02. The choon after on the cd is Club Lonely (Craig Jensen). Which I clearly love….
The choon after that… is Blackwater and at the time it used to send a shiver down my spine. I knew in a weird way that although I liked it a lot … it would one day come to mean something to me. And so here I was at breaking point just hours before… but now I was on the dance floor in el Devino with loads of room to dance (coz only the house lovers were left… the posers and the slimes had long since departed). The sun was shining through the roof… I was sooooo happy and I was off my tits.
And its coming on …. Here come the vocals…..
“Just open your heart, just open your mind,
and let your love flow like the sunshine,
the rivers run deep,
and valleys grow dry like blackwater
oy hoy hoi””
I was singing, swinging, gurning but mostly I was smiling from ear to ear…..
I looked up and Andy was bopping around in the dj box singing…. Bless him
“they’ll only want you to see
what they want you to
you’ll be sad and blue
chase those blues away”
it was all over…
brilliant first night…
nearly cried
no one could have told anyway coz I was drenched in sweat….
Went to say goodbye to Andy and had a quick chat with Sandy Rivera….
All I could say was “thanks for the music man… its just beautiful”
LOL
I can really see the funny side now that I am sat back in my flat
I AM 31 for FUNK sake….
As we left I said to Don, “brilliant night, I think I’ll do that again next week”.
Walked all the way back to the hotel in the sunshine….
** mental note to self: always always carry shades… day and night coz night soon becomes day and they WILL be needed….and anyway they look cool as funk on your head” **
Spent most of the walk home trying to open a lolly pop which was fairly unsatisfying after all that effort
Had a couple of reefers and a mini heart to heart with Don….
Wretched a little.
Got to the hotel…. Got me shades and hit the pool side. Sat there for a bit feeling a little grim but so happy to be there…
Absolutely fantastic pool area. Decking all round and a crystal clear pool. Really comfy couches in the shade with tables and sun loungers around the pool.
I stood up and said “Funk it am on me holidays” and with that I stripped to my boxers, turned, semi-leapt over a sun lounger a dove into the pool.
So refreshing ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Splashed around in the oh so refreshing waters for a bit and then dried out in the warm sun for a bit….
I asked one of the waitresses where I could get a towel and she said she would get one for me. This was to be a theme of the holiday. One of the oh so sweet and pretty waitresses getting the one thing that would make my mashdness just sorted. By then end of the holiday all I needed to do at the poolside at the hotel esVive was to wave or smile at a waitress for her to come over beaming and say “diet coke?”,
I usually said yes
But if I said no then they’d say “Shandy?”
LOL
I am not a big drinker me.
And I loved the way they all wore matching tops in the same calming pastille colours as the fence round the pool was painted and also the windows round the hotel. So soothing, so so easy on the eye.
We sat on sun loungers by the pool listening to choons on my i-pod and chatting to this dude from London who was over writing a piece about Ibiza for the evening standard. Lucky funker…
It was getting hot so we moved into the shade where we met and chatted to other club returnees. The place was filling up with zombies just like me. I was loving it. The hotel bar was playing choons now so I turned my ipod off and chatted to these two really nice geezers Abe and David from North London (many names have been changed throughout this review to protect identities) who had had a blinder at Pacha.
We chatted mashed and Don had two breakfasts,
First muesli and yogurt and all that business….
Then the fried stuff when that was offered….
Cant eat when I am on it… turns my stomach the thought of food does….
Don had a little snooze after his double brekkie whilst I did a thrill and chatted to these birds who had somehow found their way to the hotel… there was also a geezer called Jonny I think over for the summer from Oz and of course Abe and David,.,..
Then our room was ready at last… it was just passed 1….
I woke Don and we dragged our stuff up to the room…
The Hed Kandi pre pre pool party was just getting going down below so we thought funk it…
And did another thrill whilst we unpacked,..
FANTASTIC summer choons
Thank you Mr. Doyle and Mr. Collins,…
Was weird but so much fun,….
I LOVE Hed Kandi and those choons just kept coming bringing waves of butterflies in my tummy…
There were loads of folk downstairs and it was proppa buzzing,…. Mashed folk just grooving and sitting…. We unpacked whilst taking little grooves on our balcony which was just above the action…. FANTASTIC…. Nearly cried I was so happy….
Then my packing was finished and I was free to groove on that balcony…
The nose candy was really taking the edge off the tiredness.
Things I forgot to pack…
Contact lenses and 5HTP
Still at least my eyes wouldn’t get funked when I forgot to take them out
Shame about the 5HTP though, Don had a few but I had bought loads…. Spose will just have to weather the storm like an ol’ timer raver then!!!
Went down and ranted at Marc Doyle at one point…
“I love Hed Kandi, I love you guys I have every single cd, I love this party……”
it would be fair to say that I was feeling the love
also got meself a summer sampler…..
Then they had Peyton singing live by the poolside…. He did a couple of choons and it was really good…
Then he did “Higher Place” (the Gospel Degree Vocal Mix)
Just phenomenal… He blew the place apart… the passion the voice and of course it is such a brilliant choon anyway….
One of my 2004 all time faves now…
He even gave Don and I a wave as we grooved on our balcony at one point 8) 8) 8) 8)
The afternoon wore on and I was just simply funked.
Ages later we got a cab into town and went to Bar Zuka and had a couple of drinks. I had a whiskey and all it did was to hammer home how funked and sleep deprived I was. Things were very messy. We staggered to the base bar and had another drink. I was beginning to think the impossible. I was thinking I might not be able to make the Hed Kandi opening party after all. Don suggested I try and eat something. This seemed to me to be the only possible strategy to salvage the night. We went to some random eatery and I ordered a lasagna. It was so hard to eat. It was like swallowing chunky gritty stones and that lasagna hit my stomach like a brick and proppa spun me out.
There was no way I could go grooving now. OK not so terrible… I will miss Hed Kandi and get some sleep so I can be fresh for Space… Would go to Hed Kandi next week…. Any one who knows me could tell you what a really big thing it was for me to have a ticket in my pocket to the Heavenly Ball Hed Kandi opening party…. And not go to it….. when I was so so close…..
There were people everywhere and it was totally manic and funk me I really really needed to lie down. This mad looking bird in an outfit made out of glitter descended on our table ranting like a speed head. I thought she was selling tickets to some night but instead she stamped my hand and said that meant I could get into the Blue Rose for free.
Not wanting to completely loose a night I decided that I could just about manage to sit in a strip joint and watch some titties being shaken about for a little bit. Don laughed at me.
He headed for the hotel and I for the Blue Rose. I got there and was forced to buy girlie dollars at the entrance. I go in and I am thinking “actually this might not actually be a really good idea at all”. Its pretty empty and I am feeling a lot like a dirty old man. I am also feeling completely washed out.
I watch some titties on stage and then these two strippers come over and start chatting to me. Such hard work. Was finding those eastern European accents so hard to understand. I really didn’t need this. Then the waitress comes over and says that if I wanna buy “the girls” a drink that’ll be 20 Euros each!!! I say that I am ok and just happy to sit and watch the show. All three give me very dirty looks and shuffle off to harass some one else.
I watch a couple of strips and am getting bored and uncomfortable. After each strip the bird comes round and demands one of those girlie dollars. I had about 7 or 8 and so I am thinking “right will do this for a bit and then make severe tracks”. I get down to about 3 girlie dollars left and for some reason agree to a private dance for 30 Euros. (strippers had been regularly visiting my table offering these dances). So the stripper leads me to this booth, takes my cash and proceeds to undress fairly aggressively….. she also quite likes rubbing her leg against my groin… she is quite fit I suppose but not really my type, the show ends with her climbing onto my lap and gyrating…. She also did in fact rub her tits in my face….
** mental note to self: have a long talk with self about how important it is to keep things sane and to stick to your moral code”….** :x :x
I go back to the main room feeling a bit freaked out…. I think right that was very full on but would be quite cool if I actually fancied the bird”….So I am thinking that since I am never gonna be doing anything like this ever again I may as well, now that I am here, choose a stripper that I fancy have the private dance and then be proppa out of there….
I choose one from across the room and tell the waitress to tell her I want a private dance…. We go back to the booth and immediately I know this is a mistake…. She was nice from far BUT far from nice…. Her tits were big it is true and I do like that but they were covered in grim splodgy freckles and she wore a ton of make up to hid the fact that she was in fact quite minging…. I could barely look…it was a really long painful 5 minutes… beauty is in the nose of the smeller and some may like it but her scent nauseated me… please let this finish please….. she finishes off by standing in front of me with one leg on my lap and started fingering herself….. soooooooooo grim and I was gagging some….. it was like being in one of those dreams when you cant run away…. Which is exactly what I did as soon as she let me go….
Back to the hotel… I collect a very bemused Don from the bar and we have a couple of reefers and a full debrief and then we go to sleep…. I lay awake for ages… I was so disappointed in myself…. This was not how it was supposed to be…..
I wake up at about 9 after sleeping like a dead dog for six or so hours… I go downstairs for breakfast followed by Don… after we just lie on our beds smoking reefers and listening to the choons from down below… perfect chilled summer beats…. It was another lovely day….
Bring on space…. I hear sounds down below that sound to me like there is a carvery going on…. I go out to the balcony and confirm that this is true. I love a roast I do…. Would stock me up on energy so I could groove my heart out at Space…
I go downstairs and take half the quantity of food I would usually take…. I sit with Abe and Dave chatting…. Eating was so hard… and when I fished I got a massive sweat on and a serious pain in my gut….
I headed for the room and passed the Don on the way as he headed for eats…. I spent ages trying to sort myself out and finally did a line and pranced around for a bit… It was sort of working so I did a thrill and had a shower…..I waited downstairs chatting to Rick a very cool geezer from London….. and some moody birds on a serious comedown….
When the Don finished his ablutions he joined me poolside and we headed for Space… I was quite excited but still very groggy.
Did another thrill on the way. As soon as I got out the cab could hear the choons…. The bumping thumping baseline… it was about four in the afternoon and there was no-one in the queue so I ran all the way round the queue thing and bang into that atmosphere….
Oh yes oh yes oh yes this is what I want….
I head straight for the terrace…. And do some very calm moving from side to side on the far side of the terrace by the back wall so I am looking down on the main part of the terrace and the dj booth is to my right…. Tanya Volcano was on and it was very hard. Chunky driving beats. “Sh1t this is gonna be hard work” I thought. I check out the roof and decide that I don’t like it. It was much better when the sun shined directly on you…. not so good through black Hessian sack material. Why cant it be made out of glass? That would be so much better. We decide that nothing is happening on the thrill front so we do another. Then about half an hour later another. Choons still hardcore and slamming. Groovin still hard work and sluggish. Don goes wondering checking out the scene and I keep spotting him down below on the terrace floor grinning like a dude.
My tummy starts rumbling. Then inside me there is a witches cauldron. Lunch is in a liquidizer that I must have swallowed without realizing. I head for the loo where I smoke 3 fags end to end. Was a little worried that I might spend my afternoon at space on the crapper. Left the loo feeling a lot better and much lighter.
I am still not funked though.
I come out onto the terrace and suddenly there is a rocket up my arse. I quickly find Don towards the back….. right by the speakers. The choons are much louder there. Oh yes Rocket number 2 has ignited. There are groovers all round and every one is loving it This is what I came on holiday for. Groovin is much easier now and lots of fun. I wish she would tone the choons down a tad though. As rocket number three ignites this geezer takes to the decks and a roar erupts.
He is a short dude with funky hair and a rolling stones t-shirt, cheeky chappy looking kind of guy. First choon… funky as funk. Brilliant. Oh yes the choons are so good now. I am mashed. Disco beats disco treats…. Vocals and everything, this my kind of choons. Don is not coming up so fiercely so goes for the odd wonder. I am loving this.
I kind of say hi to my fellow groovers. A bird from Liverpool called Natalie and a bird from Manchester called Michelle. They also had some bloke mates and a really fit blonde bird mate. I couldn’t really speak. I never can when I am mashed and I have never ever been this mashed. Every time I see Don I tell him “this is the most mashed I have ever been”. He is just laughing at me J. Its pretty much all I can say at the moment. I am quite nervous that I might not be able to deal with number 4 when it ignites.
The choons were brilliant and I manage to ask the girls who the dj was. Turns out he is called Danny Howells. Never heard of him before. Love him now. I was swinging my hips and smiling and just grooving the afternoon away. Perfect little marching choons followed by fast and cheerful disco choons… oh yeah……
Then fours starts. Ride it dude. Go with it. Don’t fight it. These are my people. These strangers who are smiling with me. Who are swinging their hips and shaking their arms just like me. These who love house music like I do. These are my people. Go with it. Oh I am taking off. Cant handle this. Choons are building again.
Woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Whats that? It’s a plane above. Cool. No what’s that sound now? Am I imagining this. Oh yes it is. I can deal with it now. Its so comfortable and so so nice.
This is brilliant. He really IS playing it and it is showing me how handle this ride.
Do dolida do
Do dolida do
Do dolida dolida da dolida da
I cant believe he is playing this. What are the chances. It’s a sign. LOL
Its Blackwater coming through in the mix, I am really moving about now and grinning and gurning like a lunatic. I was even crying some.
** mental note to self: what are you like **
Four is at full blast now. all of them are. I am totally throwing myself about and singing my heart out. So are the girls.
“Just open your heart, just open your mind,
and let your love flow like the sunshine,
the rivers run deep,
and valleys grow dry like blackwater
oy hoy hoi””
We especially emphasized the “oy hoy hoi” bit
“they’ll only want you to see
what they want you to
you’ll be sad and blue
chase those blues away”
Then 5 ignited? I hadn’t taken a fifth one? WOW
This is the most fun I have ever had. If I stop then everything feels like it is moving and I spin out. I have to keep to dancing otherwise I will fall off the world. Brilliant… I wonder how long this is gonna go on for. Everyone is totally grooving and gurning… and those knowing warm smiles all round… no-one is a stranger here…. We all go back an age….
Don was there for most of the rest of the afternoon and evening, he went to Bora Bora for a bit, but I never left that spot except to get an ice lolly quite late on when it had already got dark.
Brilliant. All afternoon just totally grooving and blowing off all that steam. So very much fun. Stayed until the end. At one point Rick from the hotel turned up with his missus. Big smiles all round. Very Funny but Pam’s first impression of me is “having it on the terrace” like a teenage raver. LOL.
We hung around Space until about three. Don and them in the inside room for a bit which I hated…. The choons were too hardcore for me and I was feeling a bit fragile. I was happy to chill behind the terrace and smoke tabs and think about the day. I was funked but that nice kind of satisfying funked. Have never danced for 7 hours before and I felt really satisfied.
I was still quite mashed and decided to do another thrill to keep me going as we had decided to try and go all the way through to DC10 now. When I was coming up I saw the girls and blokes I had been dancing’ with all day but was too funked to go up and say yo. I really really hope one of them reads this forum and so I can say “nice one guys, you helped rock my world on that terrace that afternoon, you guys are cool as funk.” And especially thanks to Natalie who periodically asked me if I was ok (must have been looking as cained as I felt) and Michelle who was very good at doing the whistling with the choons.
I chatted to Rick and Pam whose mates had arrived from blighty pissed and had come to Space and were just getting right on it.
At about 3 or 4 me Don, Rick and Pam got a taxi back to esVive. I really liked them they were cool house loving “lets go on holiday and get cained” down to earth kind of people. We all went back to the hotel bar which is so cool and they were playing funky choons in there and it was filled with loads of mashed peeps. Abe and David were there.
Don and I had a strategy review.
The thrills were fading and doing more was pointless as the effect would be minimal. Nose candy was some help but we were flagging badly.
We thought that now might be a good time to do 2Ci for the first time in our lives. 
Went back to the room and got ready to go to DC 10. Powdered our noses and even remembered to have our Berroca. Smoking biftas waiting to see what might happen. I went for a piss and the patterns on the tiles starting flowing. Wow cool. I also started feeling a lot more awake and very light. Nice. This was gonna be interesting. I told Don and then went for a shower.
It was so refreshing and the room then starting breathing. Madness, I could hear angels singing!! OK I dint actually see them but I heard ladies singing, soothing kinda melodic gospelly choons with a few high pitch notes and in angelic tones.
That’s what I heard and it was pretty cool.
We went down and got reception to call a taxi and bought some tickets for DC10.
I could hear the angels again whilst we were waiting for the cab.
We were pretty mashed. The cab ride was pretty cool and my shades were so essential in that sunshine. We stopped on the way at a cash machine which was a very interesting experience. I still can not believe it gave me cash. I always suspected that you only need to get 3 out of four numbers in your pin with cash machines in Ibiza. They let you off one for the wreckness. But this was ridiculous, I don’t really remember pressing any buttons, just checking out the mentalist 3D stuff going on in and around the screen.
I just melted in the back of that cab. It was so comfortable. I was a total wreck. My legs were really knackered from all the dancing and some of the muscles in my thighs were twitching. Me sides hurt from hip swinging, my belly felt tight from lack of eating. My jaw and face hurt from too much gurning and smiling. I was proud of myself. All was good.
I just watched the countryside wiz by, it was beautiful.
We arrived at DC10 at about 8 and it was blindingly hot. Some proppa casualties leapt into our cab when we got out.
I was quite excited about this. I had heard so much about it and I was also all over the place. I love being all over the place when I have nothing to worry about. A little adventure with my own insanity.
My legs were funked from all the grooving and I was walking like a nutter. My walking was all distorted and I felt like I must have looked like a reject from a bling bling hop-hop video. The other obvious sign that something was wrong with my walking was that my nuts kept getting tangled in my boxers, and that never normally happens.
We entered the club and my first impressions were good.
Air con
Good
Nice and Smart
Good
Trippy visuals
Good
(not that I really needed these as I had bought my own)
a few really mangled peeps hanging about.
The music was a shocker. Long boring choons with boring bitchin beats and no soul at all. All that proggy tribal nonsense. Its just annoying noise to me. I really don’t get it at all. I quickly found out that the terrace was opening at 10. That was only an hour and a half away. We had to stay and see the terrace and the choons out there would Balearic and it would all be cool and this would become fun again.
We had to entertain ourselves inside until then. We wondered around aimlessly and dazed. The only comfy seating was roped off. Why? Monday morning only casualties here why cant we sit down? Torture, so was the music. Tried bits of stamping but it wasn’t for me at all.
Finally got a bar stool where I sat for ages drinking diet coke and laughing with Don about the state of us and the situation. He went to the toilet for an age at one point and when he came back grinning he told about the cool visuals he got off the tiles whilst he was pissing. Cool I am off to the toilet to check it out. I leap off the barstool and ouch the stool had this bar running across the front which had been pressing into my legs the whole time and had cut off the blood supply. I was walking like a total spastic now. I spend a long time at the urinal watching the visuals then suddenly become really paranoid that the toilet lady is looking at my willy.
Back into the darkened room for more torture. Let me out of here.
Last week this time I was just getting into the office. LOL
Finally its 10. We can go outside. Bliss. But no the goon guarding the entrance to the terrace says another half hour.
WHAT? But you said, they said, you said
Please Please Pleeaaaaaaaaaaase
Pleading with him helps none. We cant go out the front either as they are not giving pass out stamps yet. Trapped. Funk it.
It was so painful.
Finally getting chatting to this cainer couple (Kaz and Anne-Carry) from East London. They aren’t enjoying it at all either. Nice people they were
The goon is still not letting us out so we think funk it and go outside. To our amazement we get stamped which means we can come back in. Options.
It is a scorcher of a day outside. Don and I stand there chatting as vehicles totally hurl past us at huge speed. Across the road in the parking lot the gaurda are searching clubbers and their cars as they arrive. I am very paranoid.
We can still here the din from within the club. The phrase “dirty beats, Armageddon on the streets” runs through my head over and over.
We try to get a cab but then we hear choons from the terrace so we are back in there. Its nice out there with pink calming walls. We are wrecked though. We stand chatting to Kaz and Anne and then all decide to go outside for a reefer as the choons are not much better than inside. We chat outside smoking reefers and being generally insane. We go back in for our free drinks and then we are out of there. I did hear two choons that I really liked at the time and I asked the dj for the names but cant find them anywhere now:
Storm is rising – by NY love
And feel the love by depeche mode
Any ideas anyone? Do these songs even exist. Other trouble is even if I did hear em I couldn’t tell you if it was the ones I heard on that dirty day.
So we were off. I hated DC10 and yes I know now that it gets banging at 6 or so but I wont be going again. Don’t like that kind of music and it was just grim. It seemed like a school disco for “Zombie High”. Cainers with no where to sit being chased off sitting on speakers (which was the only things to sit on) by very big and very aggressive goons.
Kaz drives us to Selinas beach. We sit in the restaurant battered. I order a strawberry ice lolly which ends up tasting to me like burnt bbq sausages. Don orders a burger chips and a beer which he promptly consumes. The man is incredible.
** mental note to self: if you attempt to keep up with the Don all holiday then you will die or receive permanent brain damage”
**
Kaz then drives us back to hotel. This is the most funked I have ever been. By a very very long way.
Every time I blink it scratches me eyes. I bump into Rick and Pam who have a big laugh at the state of me. Mashed up proppa.
I have a little swim which was very refreshing. Some folk poolside stopped me from diving in the shallow end coz I looked such a wreck. They seemed really concerned. Like they were just about to watch a cainer kill himself poolside. LOL
Back to the room and sleep…….. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Only two and half hours then wake up call comes and we get a taxi with Abe and David to Café Mambo to meet Pam and Rick and all their mates plus Kaz and Anne. All our holiday friends together. Just beautiful. Café Mambo is packed so me and Don hijack two spare seats at a table with a French couple who were having a romantic one. We were desperate for food. He turns out to be a dj trying to get gigs and he is just passionate about his house music. I love people like that. He also visits this forum but doesn’t post!
I had a fantastic burger which was the first food I had eaten in ages that tasted good and made me feel better not worse. Just as we were finishing off our meal Roger Sanchez turned up to play a few choons for us which was nice of him.
On to the beach for sunset. I spent most of the time chatting to Pam and Rick. These people are salt of the earth and I really hope we are gonna be mates back in blighty.
Back to the hotel and crash out. Don wakes up 9 ish and starts getting ready to go to Formentra for the day. I am going nowhere. I feel rubbish and very sad. He is incredible. He never gets come downs or more correctly he just refuses to acknowledge them. He just gets on with it. Respect man.
I spend the day poolside chatting with Rick and Pam. Rick gets the comedown blues like I do and so we are a fantastic support for each other making morbid jokes about ourselves and our rubbish lives. I spend the day lugging myself around like my legs are made out of concrete bollards. I hate that clubbers comedown shuffle.
** mental note to self: live for the moment. Get back on it ASAP **
Don gets back saying he had a fantastic day. We head out to the Base Bar for a few drinks with Pam and Rick and their mates. Another drink at Bar Zuka and we are home.
And sleep.
I get up for breakfast and it is hot. I am really down today. I get my breakfast and put it down. I go back in to get some tea. Don has come down now and he asks where I am sitting….i point to my table and go inside
and I am thinking that how four days ago I had never met Rick and Pam before but now I actually miss them. But not to worry because I am sure I will see them back in London what with them living round the corner from me
I think though that we need new holiday friends for the rest of the stay.
I come out and Don is sitting at the wrong table. That’s not my table grrrrrrrr. He is chatting to some geezer. I have to move all my stuff to this new table. Grrrrrrrrr
The geezer is called Kevin. He is from south Africa and is out in Ibiza for a few days with work. Lucky funker.
We get chatting and he is very cool and witty. We three get on like a house on fire. For the next 3 days he was totally part of our gang. The terrible two had become the terrifying three.
We were all set to chill by the pool and listen to choons from Hed Kandi. But then I find out that there is no pool party this day!!! Why had I thought there was??
So I am a big reader on this forum and I know what to do when you have a spare afternoon.. You head to Bora Bora. We get there about 4 and it is kicking.
Sing by the Praise Cats is the choon that I just had to ask the dj what it was. (am listening to it now)
I did a couple of thrills and had a good old boogy.
Kevin absolutely loved it. He was blown away by it all.
I got quite tired at about 11 and the choons had become a bit hard and banging and the piano rifts and vocals where no longer around. I went back for a little sleep.
Don and Kev come back and we go into town for a few drinks at Lola’s Bar.
And sleep.
Its Thursday and I spend the morning chilling poolside with Kev and chatting to these three gals from Manchester all called Nicola!!! I quite fancied one of them J
Kev was flown over by play station for the launch of this new game. He manages to get us tickets to the party. So Don and I head over in a taxi at about four to this grand grand villa in the hills about 15 minutes by cab from the hotel.
It was fantastic there. Free booze and delicious bbq food.
We hang out there the afternoon and it was exactly what I needed. Andy Daniell was there and we chatted to him and a couple of his mates for a while. He is a very down to earth cheeky little man. Bless him
There are however loads of egos about at this party. Everyone is giving it the big “I am”. Loads of fit birds BUT MY GOSH didn’t they just know it…
We were really really tired so we just chilled and I got on the shandy’s proppa.
We stay until about midnight. Played the game… it’s a cool mixing game!! Seriously a lot a of fun and even I can mix choons with it.
We go back to the hotel and head out to Underground which was dreadful. Good place but shocking choons. I was also very tired. We stayed for like 10 minutes.
It was Friday and we spent the morning trying to get some sleep but it just didn’t happen at all. Had lunch with Kev at the poolside. And I was getting so excited about Defected.
Nice chill day with good choons by the pool. In fact esVive had a dj playing fantastic choons everyday poolside. Thanks guys you are wonderful.
The three of us went to Café Mambo for sunset with all the guys over for the playstation thing.
Pete Tong was doing his essential selection. Groovy
Back to the hotel. I did my first thrill in the taxi on the way. Don went to get some pizza!!
I came up hardcore in the room on my own listening to choons on my ipod. Had to call Kev down for some company. Finally the Don returns and I start hassling big time. I want to be there for Andy’s set.
What to wear. Funk it I will have to wear that t shirt. Even though I did wear it for the same night last week it is my favourite and it’s the only one I got the says funky on it.
We get to el Devino about half 12 ish. We went by taxi to the main door and I realize that in my haste I have denied Kev the boat across the harbor experience and so I apologies..
There is hardly anyone inside. Andy is in the booth but choons haven’t started yet. I go to say hello and we end up like spastics trying to high five but miss a couple of times so end up doing a retards handshake whilst laughing at ourselves. LOL
We chat to these groovers from blighty outside. I am coming up again so go for a wonder. I end up smoking a fag and looking out across the water. It was so beautiful and I was so happy I had been having such a brilliant holiday.
It’s a full moon and I get lost looking at it. It was so bright and big, it looked so close. I was loving it. Then I realised that you could see the reflection of the moon in the harbor water so clearly. There were two of them but only one of me. This spun me out somewhat and I started thinking about two moons and did what did that mean. I have been single for well over two years now and although I loved being single at first I realised that i was getting a bit bored of it now what with there being two moons and all…….
** mental note to self: snap out of it, get on that dance floor now that’s why you are here…(ps you will be ok) **
Andy is really funky in the mix. Its brilliant. I am grooving by the side of the dance floor. Then the defected dancers descend on the floor in their tight sexy yellow t shirts. It all gets grooving now and the dancefloor fills up. Suddenly Kev and Don are there and we are all three moving and smiling. I look at Kev and think bless… this is gonna be a long night for him just on the booze and redbulls. The choons are building and its so disco, so funky, so right. I am starting to come up on the third.
Andy what was the name of the choon that had vocals about going into a paradise garden or somfin?
Or the one that went “Mister Mister”
God I was mashed. LOL
I was totally throwing my hips about. Then it carried on building. I felt the happiest I had ever ever been. Piano rifts, groovy vocals, oh yes this is brilliant…..
This is actually what I live for. I had been prancing around my living room all year since I went last year. And it was all coming good now. Well it felt good to me and that’s all that mattered.
I had also been doing loads of pilates dvds and the new york city ballet workout dvd LOL… it had taught me to a limited extent to prance around on my tip toes.LOL
I was flying and this piano rift came in and I was up on my toes and loving it. Oh man…..
Then the music just totally took me. I lost it NOT badly but in a totally good way. I was so so so happy. I was at peace with myself for the first time ever….
Then arms flaying all over the place the euphoria just totally swept me away. I spent the rest of Andy’s set swinging my hips and smiling like a prozac addict.
It was the BEST set I have ever heard. At the perfect time for me and the end of a brilliant week. Such silky mixing skills, and clever little samples and shucks it was just the best thing ever. Thought I knew loads about funky vocal house, didn’t know a single choon but they were all totally totally up my street. BLEW ME AWAY.
I went outside to get some air and Andy comes past grinning. I am drenched in sweat and proppa battered. He is laughing at me. Cheeky funker it was all his fault anyway. He danced me into euphoria. He says I better give him a good review!!
How do you like this one Andy?
Hey Andy…. Don’t go changing
Kevin finds me and grinning he says that seeing me losing it on the dance floor is one of his holiday highlights.
I say “I didn’t look like a dick did I”
He says “no man you looked like you were having the MOST fun ever” and he gives me a little hug. Thanks Kev that means a huge amount to me
Also during Andy’s set this bird taps me on the shoulder. I turn round and she is just stunning. The fittest bird I have ever ever seen.
“Having fun?” she says with a smile so beautiful it nearly made me cry. Her name is Fiona and her mate is Elanor (these are real names by the way). We five (them, Don, Kev and me) groove together for the rest of Andy’s set. Big grins all round. Fiona was HOT. Local sleezes keep coming over and hitting on the girls, mostly Fiona. Really horrible to watch. But every time she sent one of them scurrying away in failed sleeze self disgust she would look over at me and smile.
Was I imagining this? Oh funk just dance you fool. I hate this kind of thing when I am funked coz I never know if I am feeling the love or if I am just feeling the love. Its hard to tell sometimes.
We chat to them a few times and they leave about 5. Fiona, gives me a kiss goodbye and says that she will see me at Space on Sunday. She was just lovely and put butterflies in my tummy. Oh well should have asked for her number. Nothing to lose, everything to gain but like the fool that I am I was to shy to ask!
Don, Kev and I walk half of the way home and get a cab the rest. We have breakfast (well they do, I have a cuppa).
Then Kev has to call into work.
You see Kevin, our Kevin, is actually this geezer here:
http://5fm.co.za/dj.asp?id=92
Kevin Fine, radio dj. In South Africa, its radio 5 that is the popular music station that does the charts and that.
He does 7am to 10am Saturdays and Sundays. Its called the Rise and Fine show. brilliant. So we sat there mashed as a very tired man phoned into his show for a special report from Ibiza. Suddenly he was on air. And he was a man re-energized. He raved on about Ibiza and about Andy calling him the “new best upandcoming….”
Brilliant in the sunshine we were mashed smoking big uns… listening to our mate doing a live radio report to millions of south Africans. LOL
(Yesterday I got up at 6 to listen to his show on the internet and did a fair chunk of this review in the process. He was magic. Gave a big up to me and the Don. He said we really knew how to party and showed him a brilliant time. Kev you joined us during two rest days and one night out. Next time you have to come for the full twelve yards and we will make a man out of you. He was broadcasting from Durban beach – mate you really do have a lush job—and kept on announcing free t shirts and hats for birds to come down and boogy in their bikinis… and then near the end of his show he played “a little bit of Ibiza” and whacked on Lola’s theme and Rocking Music whilst feeding through the sounds of the south African bikini clad groovers whooping their hearts out. You nutter Kev, LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL- PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL)
Kev left about 12 and we carried his bags to the taxi and gave him a big hug and sent him on his way. Kev you are a gem dude. It was a pleasure and an honour to spend time with a man that at peace with himself, confindent, clever and witty but not arrogant AT ALL. inspirational stuff!!!
We went back poolside and I stripped to my costume which I was wearing for just this eventuality. I was severely mashed and was telling Don that I was scared I was gonna cain myself diving in. There were two birds just along on loungers. One was very fit and the other very average. I do a weird spazo dive and hear Don laughing as I hit the water. I hadn’t tied the string so the shorts slip to round my ankles as I grind my head on the bottom. Underwater mashed, upside down, face on bottom of pool… I DID INDEED manage to get those shorts back on, tie the cord and right myself coming up for air something of a Harry Houdini. Don and the birds are looking over and I say “should have tied the string” the all laugh and I go over and start chatting. They are a bit cagey. The really fit bird is really fit but I know her from somewhere. They say they are over to film a classical music video. It dawns on me as they leave…. The fit one is that Myleen Klass bird. She looks top in a bikini she does and she is quite sweet really.
Hang around poolside listening to Matt Collins spinning those lush summer bumpers for me, whilst sipping my shandy.
Don and I went out for some late night Tapas and then he went to Pacha!!! And I went to bed.
Next morning it was our last so we went down for brekkie and then packed and checked out. Left our luggage and Don stayed to top up his tan whilst I went to Space. Got there 3 ish.
Glad I went early. Got some thrills quite quickly and went for a bit of marching and groovin on the terrace. It was quite empty and very funky and vocally.
Was quite tired. You know body tired. It had been a long week. Don turns up feeling sluggish too.
As day went on the music on the terrace got harder and a darker.
I did a few more thrills but they never really ignited like just made me feel warm and fuzzy… perfect for chain smoking and holiday retrospect thinking stuff…….
We spend the rest of the afternoon wondering around checking out the scene and chatting to folk. Oi crazy Claire from Birmingham you said you were gonna join this forum and not just read and that you were gonna do a review! So where is it? Also kept an eye out for Fiona but never did see her
Don found and directed me to the roof terrace which is great and where I would have loved to have hung out for a bit on any of my previous space visits had I known about it. The main terrace wasn’t happening for me that day really.
Upstairs I spent the last couple of hours listening to Jose Paddilla playing wicked choons of a genre that I have never heard before. Kind of the kind of music that Ella Fitzgerald might make if she were around these days.
Spaced out at space.
Then back to the hotel for a last reefer and our bags, Got a taxi to the airport and checked our bags in and rushed outside where we threw the rest of the turf in a single skinner and the rest of the solid in the pipe…. Mangled we waited for our flight at the departure gate,
Back to Blighty and Don headed home. I caught a plane to Turkey for my pilates/meditation retreat. Before holiday I thought this would be a really good idea and just what I would need. But as it turned out sleeping in mosquito ridded tent in the scorching heat in the middle of funking nowhere with basic ablution amenities and eating lentil stew on the worse ever comedown was in fact the antithesis of what I needed.
What I needed was to be in my flat with my cat listening to funky choons smoking big uns and writing my review so I left after a couple of days…..
What a holiday
Thanks to Andy Daniell, Pam and Rick, Kevin Fine, Peyton, Danny Howells, Marc Doyle and Matt Collins, Kaz and Anne, Abe and Dave & nat and Michelle (and their gang on the terrace) and all the wonderful cheery peeps at the Hotel esVive. PLUS all the randoms along the way who either ranted at me or had me rant at them…..
And especially Don, dude we painted that town red (and green some). You total party animal you….
Bring on next year
Keep it real, keep it Fine
Thing I love most about Ibiza… wherever you go you hear house music. Even walking down the street J
** mental note to self:
(with thanks to Peyton)
Here’s what you gotta do
Lift your head up high
Move your body to the rhythms of a bluer sky
Put this whole world behind you where it belongs
Change is coming
Don’t you worry
Now it wont be long
Well move it on up
To a higher place
Where the people sing and dance
Under amazing grace
Just one more time
We’ll see the sun will start to shine
Get your hands up in the air
I’m gonna take you higher
After all is said and done
After war is waged and won
There is one thing left to believe in……
If you can rise up from your bed
Shake off the shackles
Clear your head
This life is yours and
ITS FOR LIVING
**
What actually happened went something like this:
We hit the tarmac just after 1 in the morning. It was a barmy Saturday morning. 2004 had been a really bad year for me. The week before the holiday had been really stressful. I had been feeling very blue. Don, who is probably my closest friend, and I had had a huge falling out four weeks or so before we went away. It was touch and go whether we would go or not. But we were here and I needed this holiday so very badly.
I was really sad that Rio wasn’t with us but he couldn’t make it this year. Lessons needed to be learnt from last year ( http://www.ibiza-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=8487&highlight=hols+ibiza ). I knew from last year that this was the place for me. I love my house music so much and I had spent all year, every day on this forum, learning…. so that when I went again I could do it properly and not feel that I had always been at the wrong place at the wrong time.
We scurried out of the airport and after a little “this IS the damn queue for the taxis” agro we were on our way to hotel esVive. Brilliant. On arrival I had good vibes bubbling hardcore inside. This was gonna be it.
We left our bags with reception, as we couldn’t book into our room until 12 midday. Well planned holiday this was
We had a drink in the bar and did our first thrill. I had butterflies in me tummy before it even hit me belly
We then walked into Ibiza town. It was hot and humid but we were hardened veterans of the beastly heat and we could handle this easily. We smoked a couple of biftas and I swung my shoulders all the way down those wide roads like I owned the mother funking place.
We got the boat from the harbour. As if there was any other way we would get there! I came up like a trooper on the boat and it was just beautiful. I could actually have done without the strong smell of petrol fumes. We entered el Devino and bang…. It hit me… this is why I was here. Straight for the dance floor for some introductory hip swinging. Oh yeah man this is what I want and this is what I need. Best thing… this is what I have got. Danced for a little bit but mostly just took huge gulps of air as I took it all in and tried to calm myself down whilst grinning and gurning like a nutter.
DEFECTED is so so so in the house.
** mental note to self: wallet feels clumsy in pocket and makes groovin’ tricky, from here on in take only one or two cards and some cash. **
I asked at the dj booth if Andy Daniel was there and the bloke said he had just finished. So I went to the VIP entrance and said to the goon to say hi to Andy for me. He must have reckoned I knew him coz he said I could go say hi if I was really quick. I kinda knew him. We had been chatting through the forum before I went away. I was trying to get him to play a choon for me on my first night LOL. I was also trying to blag guestlist…. I am not sure if he did sort me out because I had also got our travel agents to try so when we got to the door there was me plus 2 on the list. Anyway I am digressing severely now. I went over to the very young looking geezer surrounded by assorted VIP types and said “Alright Andy its me DiscoDude from the forum”… LOL he said nice one and pointed his young finger at me and said “you better give us a good review”. I already knew I was gonna…. so I smiled and said “we’ll see” and was gone back to the dancefloor so that I had something to review.
Had a fun little groove…..
Then Don and I sat out side for a while chatting to two birds and a bloke from bligthty who were out for the summer working. Lucky funkers! Can clearly remember coming up again at this point. So that must mean I had another thrill and another, I guess, as I came up again on the dance floor as the sun rose. SUPERB. I was just loving it. Sandy Rivera was playing brilliant uplifting so soulful choons. I had done the right thing. This was just what I needed. Don and I were grinning at each other like new found long lost friends…. which in a way we were. Then I heard it. I didn’t say anything for a second just to make sure. BUT YES… I was sure I was so sure… here it came…. I could hear the intro to Black Water – by Octave One (a blessed one hit wonder) coming in on the mix……
Do dolida do
Do dolida do
Do dolida dolida da dolida da
I asked Don the time and he said that it was seven. No way, I said, this was gonna be the last choon. This was cosmic.
Blackwater is a choon that runs to the heart of who I am. The Christmas before last was the lowest point of my life ever. And at the center of all that was the fact that I was in love with a bird who didn’t want me. House music had saved my soul, that Christmas, like it had done once or twice before. Don and I had gone on a wicked little binge and the whole time whenever possible I played “You Groove me” – By Jon Cutler.
It’s the third last choon on Beach House 04.02. The choon after on the cd is Club Lonely (Craig Jensen). Which I clearly love….
The choon after that… is Blackwater and at the time it used to send a shiver down my spine. I knew in a weird way that although I liked it a lot … it would one day come to mean something to me. And so here I was at breaking point just hours before… but now I was on the dance floor in el Devino with loads of room to dance (coz only the house lovers were left… the posers and the slimes had long since departed). The sun was shining through the roof… I was sooooo happy and I was off my tits.
And its coming on …. Here come the vocals…..
“Just open your heart, just open your mind,
and let your love flow like the sunshine,
the rivers run deep,
and valleys grow dry like blackwater
oy hoy hoi””
I was singing, swinging, gurning but mostly I was smiling from ear to ear…..
I looked up and Andy was bopping around in the dj box singing…. Bless him
“they’ll only want you to see
what they want you to
you’ll be sad and blue
chase those blues away”
it was all over…
brilliant first night…
nearly cried
no one could have told anyway coz I was drenched in sweat….
Went to say goodbye to Andy and had a quick chat with Sandy Rivera….
All I could say was “thanks for the music man… its just beautiful”
LOL
I can really see the funny side now that I am sat back in my flat
I AM 31 for FUNK sake….
As we left I said to Don, “brilliant night, I think I’ll do that again next week”.
Walked all the way back to the hotel in the sunshine….
** mental note to self: always always carry shades… day and night coz night soon becomes day and they WILL be needed….and anyway they look cool as funk on your head” **
Spent most of the walk home trying to open a lolly pop which was fairly unsatisfying after all that effort
Had a couple of reefers and a mini heart to heart with Don….
Wretched a little.
Got to the hotel…. Got me shades and hit the pool side. Sat there for a bit feeling a little grim but so happy to be there…
Absolutely fantastic pool area. Decking all round and a crystal clear pool. Really comfy couches in the shade with tables and sun loungers around the pool.
I stood up and said “Funk it am on me holidays” and with that I stripped to my boxers, turned, semi-leapt over a sun lounger a dove into the pool.
So refreshing ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Splashed around in the oh so refreshing waters for a bit and then dried out in the warm sun for a bit….
I asked one of the waitresses where I could get a towel and she said she would get one for me. This was to be a theme of the holiday. One of the oh so sweet and pretty waitresses getting the one thing that would make my mashdness just sorted. By then end of the holiday all I needed to do at the poolside at the hotel esVive was to wave or smile at a waitress for her to come over beaming and say “diet coke?”,
I usually said yes
But if I said no then they’d say “Shandy?”
LOL
I am not a big drinker me.
And I loved the way they all wore matching tops in the same calming pastille colours as the fence round the pool was painted and also the windows round the hotel. So soothing, so so easy on the eye.
We sat on sun loungers by the pool listening to choons on my i-pod and chatting to this dude from London who was over writing a piece about Ibiza for the evening standard. Lucky funker…
It was getting hot so we moved into the shade where we met and chatted to other club returnees. The place was filling up with zombies just like me. I was loving it. The hotel bar was playing choons now so I turned my ipod off and chatted to these two really nice geezers Abe and David from North London (many names have been changed throughout this review to protect identities) who had had a blinder at Pacha.
We chatted mashed and Don had two breakfasts,
First muesli and yogurt and all that business….
Then the fried stuff when that was offered….
Cant eat when I am on it… turns my stomach the thought of food does….
Don had a little snooze after his double brekkie whilst I did a thrill and chatted to these birds who had somehow found their way to the hotel… there was also a geezer called Jonny I think over for the summer from Oz and of course Abe and David,.,..
Then our room was ready at last… it was just passed 1….
I woke Don and we dragged our stuff up to the room…
The Hed Kandi pre pre pool party was just getting going down below so we thought funk it…
And did another thrill whilst we unpacked,..
FANTASTIC summer choons
Thank you Mr. Doyle and Mr. Collins,…
Was weird but so much fun,….
I LOVE Hed Kandi and those choons just kept coming bringing waves of butterflies in my tummy…
There were loads of folk downstairs and it was proppa buzzing,…. Mashed folk just grooving and sitting…. We unpacked whilst taking little grooves on our balcony which was just above the action…. FANTASTIC…. Nearly cried I was so happy….
Then my packing was finished and I was free to groove on that balcony…
The nose candy was really taking the edge off the tiredness.
Things I forgot to pack…
Contact lenses and 5HTP
Still at least my eyes wouldn’t get funked when I forgot to take them out
Shame about the 5HTP though, Don had a few but I had bought loads…. Spose will just have to weather the storm like an ol’ timer raver then!!!
Went down and ranted at Marc Doyle at one point…
“I love Hed Kandi, I love you guys I have every single cd, I love this party……”
it would be fair to say that I was feeling the love
also got meself a summer sampler…..
Then they had Peyton singing live by the poolside…. He did a couple of choons and it was really good…
Then he did “Higher Place” (the Gospel Degree Vocal Mix)
Just phenomenal… He blew the place apart… the passion the voice and of course it is such a brilliant choon anyway….
One of my 2004 all time faves now…
He even gave Don and I a wave as we grooved on our balcony at one point 8) 8) 8) 8)
The afternoon wore on and I was just simply funked.
Ages later we got a cab into town and went to Bar Zuka and had a couple of drinks. I had a whiskey and all it did was to hammer home how funked and sleep deprived I was. Things were very messy. We staggered to the base bar and had another drink. I was beginning to think the impossible. I was thinking I might not be able to make the Hed Kandi opening party after all. Don suggested I try and eat something. This seemed to me to be the only possible strategy to salvage the night. We went to some random eatery and I ordered a lasagna. It was so hard to eat. It was like swallowing chunky gritty stones and that lasagna hit my stomach like a brick and proppa spun me out.
There was no way I could go grooving now. OK not so terrible… I will miss Hed Kandi and get some sleep so I can be fresh for Space… Would go to Hed Kandi next week…. Any one who knows me could tell you what a really big thing it was for me to have a ticket in my pocket to the Heavenly Ball Hed Kandi opening party…. And not go to it….. when I was so so close…..
There were people everywhere and it was totally manic and funk me I really really needed to lie down. This mad looking bird in an outfit made out of glitter descended on our table ranting like a speed head. I thought she was selling tickets to some night but instead she stamped my hand and said that meant I could get into the Blue Rose for free.
Not wanting to completely loose a night I decided that I could just about manage to sit in a strip joint and watch some titties being shaken about for a little bit. Don laughed at me.
He headed for the hotel and I for the Blue Rose. I got there and was forced to buy girlie dollars at the entrance. I go in and I am thinking “actually this might not actually be a really good idea at all”. Its pretty empty and I am feeling a lot like a dirty old man. I am also feeling completely washed out.
I watch some titties on stage and then these two strippers come over and start chatting to me. Such hard work. Was finding those eastern European accents so hard to understand. I really didn’t need this. Then the waitress comes over and says that if I wanna buy “the girls” a drink that’ll be 20 Euros each!!! I say that I am ok and just happy to sit and watch the show. All three give me very dirty looks and shuffle off to harass some one else.
I watch a couple of strips and am getting bored and uncomfortable. After each strip the bird comes round and demands one of those girlie dollars. I had about 7 or 8 and so I am thinking “right will do this for a bit and then make severe tracks”. I get down to about 3 girlie dollars left and for some reason agree to a private dance for 30 Euros. (strippers had been regularly visiting my table offering these dances). So the stripper leads me to this booth, takes my cash and proceeds to undress fairly aggressively….. she also quite likes rubbing her leg against my groin… she is quite fit I suppose but not really my type, the show ends with her climbing onto my lap and gyrating…. She also did in fact rub her tits in my face….
** mental note to self: have a long talk with self about how important it is to keep things sane and to stick to your moral code”….** :x :x
I go back to the main room feeling a bit freaked out…. I think right that was very full on but would be quite cool if I actually fancied the bird”….So I am thinking that since I am never gonna be doing anything like this ever again I may as well, now that I am here, choose a stripper that I fancy have the private dance and then be proppa out of there….
I choose one from across the room and tell the waitress to tell her I want a private dance…. We go back to the booth and immediately I know this is a mistake…. She was nice from far BUT far from nice…. Her tits were big it is true and I do like that but they were covered in grim splodgy freckles and she wore a ton of make up to hid the fact that she was in fact quite minging…. I could barely look…it was a really long painful 5 minutes… beauty is in the nose of the smeller and some may like it but her scent nauseated me… please let this finish please….. she finishes off by standing in front of me with one leg on my lap and started fingering herself….. soooooooooo grim and I was gagging some….. it was like being in one of those dreams when you cant run away…. Which is exactly what I did as soon as she let me go….
Back to the hotel… I collect a very bemused Don from the bar and we have a couple of reefers and a full debrief and then we go to sleep…. I lay awake for ages… I was so disappointed in myself…. This was not how it was supposed to be…..
I wake up at about 9 after sleeping like a dead dog for six or so hours… I go downstairs for breakfast followed by Don… after we just lie on our beds smoking reefers and listening to the choons from down below… perfect chilled summer beats…. It was another lovely day….
Bring on space…. I hear sounds down below that sound to me like there is a carvery going on…. I go out to the balcony and confirm that this is true. I love a roast I do…. Would stock me up on energy so I could groove my heart out at Space…
I go downstairs and take half the quantity of food I would usually take…. I sit with Abe and Dave chatting…. Eating was so hard… and when I fished I got a massive sweat on and a serious pain in my gut….
I headed for the room and passed the Don on the way as he headed for eats…. I spent ages trying to sort myself out and finally did a line and pranced around for a bit… It was sort of working so I did a thrill and had a shower…..I waited downstairs chatting to Rick a very cool geezer from London….. and some moody birds on a serious comedown….
When the Don finished his ablutions he joined me poolside and we headed for Space… I was quite excited but still very groggy.
Did another thrill on the way. As soon as I got out the cab could hear the choons…. The bumping thumping baseline… it was about four in the afternoon and there was no-one in the queue so I ran all the way round the queue thing and bang into that atmosphere….
Oh yes oh yes oh yes this is what I want….
I head straight for the terrace…. And do some very calm moving from side to side on the far side of the terrace by the back wall so I am looking down on the main part of the terrace and the dj booth is to my right…. Tanya Volcano was on and it was very hard. Chunky driving beats. “Sh1t this is gonna be hard work” I thought. I check out the roof and decide that I don’t like it. It was much better when the sun shined directly on you…. not so good through black Hessian sack material. Why cant it be made out of glass? That would be so much better. We decide that nothing is happening on the thrill front so we do another. Then about half an hour later another. Choons still hardcore and slamming. Groovin still hard work and sluggish. Don goes wondering checking out the scene and I keep spotting him down below on the terrace floor grinning like a dude.
My tummy starts rumbling. Then inside me there is a witches cauldron. Lunch is in a liquidizer that I must have swallowed without realizing. I head for the loo where I smoke 3 fags end to end. Was a little worried that I might spend my afternoon at space on the crapper. Left the loo feeling a lot better and much lighter.
I am still not funked though.
I come out onto the terrace and suddenly there is a rocket up my arse. I quickly find Don towards the back….. right by the speakers. The choons are much louder there. Oh yes Rocket number 2 has ignited. There are groovers all round and every one is loving it This is what I came on holiday for. Groovin is much easier now and lots of fun. I wish she would tone the choons down a tad though. As rocket number three ignites this geezer takes to the decks and a roar erupts.
He is a short dude with funky hair and a rolling stones t-shirt, cheeky chappy looking kind of guy. First choon… funky as funk. Brilliant. Oh yes the choons are so good now. I am mashed. Disco beats disco treats…. Vocals and everything, this my kind of choons. Don is not coming up so fiercely so goes for the odd wonder. I am loving this.
I kind of say hi to my fellow groovers. A bird from Liverpool called Natalie and a bird from Manchester called Michelle. They also had some bloke mates and a really fit blonde bird mate. I couldn’t really speak. I never can when I am mashed and I have never ever been this mashed. Every time I see Don I tell him “this is the most mashed I have ever been”. He is just laughing at me J. Its pretty much all I can say at the moment. I am quite nervous that I might not be able to deal with number 4 when it ignites.
The choons were brilliant and I manage to ask the girls who the dj was. Turns out he is called Danny Howells. Never heard of him before. Love him now. I was swinging my hips and smiling and just grooving the afternoon away. Perfect little marching choons followed by fast and cheerful disco choons… oh yeah……
Then fours starts. Ride it dude. Go with it. Don’t fight it. These are my people. These strangers who are smiling with me. Who are swinging their hips and shaking their arms just like me. These who love house music like I do. These are my people. Go with it. Oh I am taking off. Cant handle this. Choons are building again.
Woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Whats that? It’s a plane above. Cool. No what’s that sound now? Am I imagining this. Oh yes it is. I can deal with it now. Its so comfortable and so so nice.
This is brilliant. He really IS playing it and it is showing me how handle this ride.
Do dolida do
Do dolida do
Do dolida dolida da dolida da
I cant believe he is playing this. What are the chances. It’s a sign. LOL
Its Blackwater coming through in the mix, I am really moving about now and grinning and gurning like a lunatic. I was even crying some.
** mental note to self: what are you like **
Four is at full blast now. all of them are. I am totally throwing myself about and singing my heart out. So are the girls.
“Just open your heart, just open your mind,
and let your love flow like the sunshine,
the rivers run deep,
and valleys grow dry like blackwater
oy hoy hoi””
We especially emphasized the “oy hoy hoi” bit
“they’ll only want you to see
what they want you to
you’ll be sad and blue
chase those blues away”
Then 5 ignited? I hadn’t taken a fifth one? WOW
This is the most fun I have ever had. If I stop then everything feels like it is moving and I spin out. I have to keep to dancing otherwise I will fall off the world. Brilliant… I wonder how long this is gonna go on for. Everyone is totally grooving and gurning… and those knowing warm smiles all round… no-one is a stranger here…. We all go back an age….
Don was there for most of the rest of the afternoon and evening, he went to Bora Bora for a bit, but I never left that spot except to get an ice lolly quite late on when it had already got dark.
Brilliant. All afternoon just totally grooving and blowing off all that steam. So very much fun. Stayed until the end. At one point Rick from the hotel turned up with his missus. Big smiles all round. Very Funny but Pam’s first impression of me is “having it on the terrace” like a teenage raver. LOL.
We hung around Space until about three. Don and them in the inside room for a bit which I hated…. The choons were too hardcore for me and I was feeling a bit fragile. I was happy to chill behind the terrace and smoke tabs and think about the day. I was funked but that nice kind of satisfying funked. Have never danced for 7 hours before and I felt really satisfied.
I was still quite mashed and decided to do another thrill to keep me going as we had decided to try and go all the way through to DC10 now. When I was coming up I saw the girls and blokes I had been dancing’ with all day but was too funked to go up and say yo. I really really hope one of them reads this forum and so I can say “nice one guys, you helped rock my world on that terrace that afternoon, you guys are cool as funk.” And especially thanks to Natalie who periodically asked me if I was ok (must have been looking as cained as I felt) and Michelle who was very good at doing the whistling with the choons.
I chatted to Rick and Pam whose mates had arrived from blighty pissed and had come to Space and were just getting right on it.
At about 3 or 4 me Don, Rick and Pam got a taxi back to esVive. I really liked them they were cool house loving “lets go on holiday and get cained” down to earth kind of people. We all went back to the hotel bar which is so cool and they were playing funky choons in there and it was filled with loads of mashed peeps. Abe and David were there.
Don and I had a strategy review.
The thrills were fading and doing more was pointless as the effect would be minimal. Nose candy was some help but we were flagging badly.
We thought that now might be a good time to do 2Ci for the first time in our lives.
Went back to the room and got ready to go to DC 10. Powdered our noses and even remembered to have our Berroca. Smoking biftas waiting to see what might happen. I went for a piss and the patterns on the tiles starting flowing. Wow cool. I also started feeling a lot more awake and very light. Nice. This was gonna be interesting. I told Don and then went for a shower.
It was so refreshing and the room then starting breathing. Madness, I could hear angels singing!! OK I dint actually see them but I heard ladies singing, soothing kinda melodic gospelly choons with a few high pitch notes and in angelic tones.
That’s what I heard and it was pretty cool.
We went down and got reception to call a taxi and bought some tickets for DC10.
I could hear the angels again whilst we were waiting for the cab.
We were pretty mashed. The cab ride was pretty cool and my shades were so essential in that sunshine. We stopped on the way at a cash machine which was a very interesting experience. I still can not believe it gave me cash. I always suspected that you only need to get 3 out of four numbers in your pin with cash machines in Ibiza. They let you off one for the wreckness. But this was ridiculous, I don’t really remember pressing any buttons, just checking out the mentalist 3D stuff going on in and around the screen.
I just melted in the back of that cab. It was so comfortable. I was a total wreck. My legs were really knackered from all the dancing and some of the muscles in my thighs were twitching. Me sides hurt from hip swinging, my belly felt tight from lack of eating. My jaw and face hurt from too much gurning and smiling. I was proud of myself. All was good.
I just watched the countryside wiz by, it was beautiful.
We arrived at DC10 at about 8 and it was blindingly hot. Some proppa casualties leapt into our cab when we got out.
I was quite excited about this. I had heard so much about it and I was also all over the place. I love being all over the place when I have nothing to worry about. A little adventure with my own insanity.
My legs were funked from all the grooving and I was walking like a nutter. My walking was all distorted and I felt like I must have looked like a reject from a bling bling hop-hop video. The other obvious sign that something was wrong with my walking was that my nuts kept getting tangled in my boxers, and that never normally happens.
We entered the club and my first impressions were good.
Air con
Good
Nice and Smart
Good
Trippy visuals
Good
(not that I really needed these as I had bought my own)
a few really mangled peeps hanging about.
The music was a shocker. Long boring choons with boring bitchin beats and no soul at all. All that proggy tribal nonsense. Its just annoying noise to me. I really don’t get it at all. I quickly found out that the terrace was opening at 10. That was only an hour and a half away. We had to stay and see the terrace and the choons out there would Balearic and it would all be cool and this would become fun again.
We had to entertain ourselves inside until then. We wondered around aimlessly and dazed. The only comfy seating was roped off. Why? Monday morning only casualties here why cant we sit down? Torture, so was the music. Tried bits of stamping but it wasn’t for me at all.
Finally got a bar stool where I sat for ages drinking diet coke and laughing with Don about the state of us and the situation. He went to the toilet for an age at one point and when he came back grinning he told about the cool visuals he got off the tiles whilst he was pissing. Cool I am off to the toilet to check it out. I leap off the barstool and ouch the stool had this bar running across the front which had been pressing into my legs the whole time and had cut off the blood supply. I was walking like a total spastic now. I spend a long time at the urinal watching the visuals then suddenly become really paranoid that the toilet lady is looking at my willy.
Back into the darkened room for more torture. Let me out of here.
Last week this time I was just getting into the office. LOL
Finally its 10. We can go outside. Bliss. But no the goon guarding the entrance to the terrace says another half hour.
WHAT? But you said, they said, you said
Please Please Pleeaaaaaaaaaaase
Pleading with him helps none. We cant go out the front either as they are not giving pass out stamps yet. Trapped. Funk it.
It was so painful.
Finally getting chatting to this cainer couple (Kaz and Anne-Carry) from East London. They aren’t enjoying it at all either. Nice people they were
The goon is still not letting us out so we think funk it and go outside. To our amazement we get stamped which means we can come back in. Options.
It is a scorcher of a day outside. Don and I stand there chatting as vehicles totally hurl past us at huge speed. Across the road in the parking lot the gaurda are searching clubbers and their cars as they arrive. I am very paranoid.
We can still here the din from within the club. The phrase “dirty beats, Armageddon on the streets” runs through my head over and over.
We try to get a cab but then we hear choons from the terrace so we are back in there. Its nice out there with pink calming walls. We are wrecked though. We stand chatting to Kaz and Anne and then all decide to go outside for a reefer as the choons are not much better than inside. We chat outside smoking reefers and being generally insane. We go back in for our free drinks and then we are out of there. I did hear two choons that I really liked at the time and I asked the dj for the names but cant find them anywhere now:
Storm is rising – by NY love
And feel the love by depeche mode
Any ideas anyone? Do these songs even exist. Other trouble is even if I did hear em I couldn’t tell you if it was the ones I heard on that dirty day.
So we were off. I hated DC10 and yes I know now that it gets banging at 6 or so but I wont be going again. Don’t like that kind of music and it was just grim. It seemed like a school disco for “Zombie High”. Cainers with no where to sit being chased off sitting on speakers (which was the only things to sit on) by very big and very aggressive goons.
Kaz drives us to Selinas beach. We sit in the restaurant battered. I order a strawberry ice lolly which ends up tasting to me like burnt bbq sausages. Don orders a burger chips and a beer which he promptly consumes. The man is incredible.
** mental note to self: if you attempt to keep up with the Don all holiday then you will die or receive permanent brain damage”
**
Kaz then drives us back to hotel. This is the most funked I have ever been. By a very very long way.
Every time I blink it scratches me eyes. I bump into Rick and Pam who have a big laugh at the state of me. Mashed up proppa.
I have a little swim which was very refreshing. Some folk poolside stopped me from diving in the shallow end coz I looked such a wreck. They seemed really concerned. Like they were just about to watch a cainer kill himself poolside. LOL
Back to the room and sleep…….. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Only two and half hours then wake up call comes and we get a taxi with Abe and David to Café Mambo to meet Pam and Rick and all their mates plus Kaz and Anne. All our holiday friends together. Just beautiful. Café Mambo is packed so me and Don hijack two spare seats at a table with a French couple who were having a romantic one. We were desperate for food. He turns out to be a dj trying to get gigs and he is just passionate about his house music. I love people like that. He also visits this forum but doesn’t post!
I had a fantastic burger which was the first food I had eaten in ages that tasted good and made me feel better not worse. Just as we were finishing off our meal Roger Sanchez turned up to play a few choons for us which was nice of him.
On to the beach for sunset. I spent most of the time chatting to Pam and Rick. These people are salt of the earth and I really hope we are gonna be mates back in blighty.
Back to the hotel and crash out. Don wakes up 9 ish and starts getting ready to go to Formentra for the day. I am going nowhere. I feel rubbish and very sad. He is incredible. He never gets come downs or more correctly he just refuses to acknowledge them. He just gets on with it. Respect man.
I spend the day poolside chatting with Rick and Pam. Rick gets the comedown blues like I do and so we are a fantastic support for each other making morbid jokes about ourselves and our rubbish lives. I spend the day lugging myself around like my legs are made out of concrete bollards. I hate that clubbers comedown shuffle.
** mental note to self: live for the moment. Get back on it ASAP **
Don gets back saying he had a fantastic day. We head out to the Base Bar for a few drinks with Pam and Rick and their mates. Another drink at Bar Zuka and we are home.
And sleep.
I get up for breakfast and it is hot. I am really down today. I get my breakfast and put it down. I go back in to get some tea. Don has come down now and he asks where I am sitting….i point to my table and go inside
and I am thinking that how four days ago I had never met Rick and Pam before but now I actually miss them. But not to worry because I am sure I will see them back in London what with them living round the corner from me
I think though that we need new holiday friends for the rest of the stay.
I come out and Don is sitting at the wrong table. That’s not my table grrrrrrrr. He is chatting to some geezer. I have to move all my stuff to this new table. Grrrrrrrrr
The geezer is called Kevin. He is from south Africa and is out in Ibiza for a few days with work. Lucky funker.
We get chatting and he is very cool and witty. We three get on like a house on fire. For the next 3 days he was totally part of our gang. The terrible two had become the terrifying three.
We were all set to chill by the pool and listen to choons from Hed Kandi. But then I find out that there is no pool party this day!!! Why had I thought there was??
So I am a big reader on this forum and I know what to do when you have a spare afternoon.. You head to Bora Bora. We get there about 4 and it is kicking.
Sing by the Praise Cats is the choon that I just had to ask the dj what it was. (am listening to it now)
I did a couple of thrills and had a good old boogy.
Kevin absolutely loved it. He was blown away by it all.
I got quite tired at about 11 and the choons had become a bit hard and banging and the piano rifts and vocals where no longer around. I went back for a little sleep.
Don and Kev come back and we go into town for a few drinks at Lola’s Bar.
And sleep.
Its Thursday and I spend the morning chilling poolside with Kev and chatting to these three gals from Manchester all called Nicola!!! I quite fancied one of them J
Kev was flown over by play station for the launch of this new game. He manages to get us tickets to the party. So Don and I head over in a taxi at about four to this grand grand villa in the hills about 15 minutes by cab from the hotel.
It was fantastic there. Free booze and delicious bbq food.
We hang out there the afternoon and it was exactly what I needed. Andy Daniell was there and we chatted to him and a couple of his mates for a while. He is a very down to earth cheeky little man. Bless him
There are however loads of egos about at this party. Everyone is giving it the big “I am”. Loads of fit birds BUT MY GOSH didn’t they just know it…
We were really really tired so we just chilled and I got on the shandy’s proppa.
We stay until about midnight. Played the game… it’s a cool mixing game!! Seriously a lot a of fun and even I can mix choons with it.
We go back to the hotel and head out to Underground which was dreadful. Good place but shocking choons. I was also very tired. We stayed for like 10 minutes.
It was Friday and we spent the morning trying to get some sleep but it just didn’t happen at all. Had lunch with Kev at the poolside. And I was getting so excited about Defected.
Nice chill day with good choons by the pool. In fact esVive had a dj playing fantastic choons everyday poolside. Thanks guys you are wonderful.
The three of us went to Café Mambo for sunset with all the guys over for the playstation thing.
Pete Tong was doing his essential selection. Groovy
Back to the hotel. I did my first thrill in the taxi on the way. Don went to get some pizza!!
I came up hardcore in the room on my own listening to choons on my ipod. Had to call Kev down for some company. Finally the Don returns and I start hassling big time. I want to be there for Andy’s set.
What to wear. Funk it I will have to wear that t shirt. Even though I did wear it for the same night last week it is my favourite and it’s the only one I got the says funky on it.
We get to el Devino about half 12 ish. We went by taxi to the main door and I realize that in my haste I have denied Kev the boat across the harbor experience and so I apologies..
There is hardly anyone inside. Andy is in the booth but choons haven’t started yet. I go to say hello and we end up like spastics trying to high five but miss a couple of times so end up doing a retards handshake whilst laughing at ourselves. LOL
We chat to these groovers from blighty outside. I am coming up again so go for a wonder. I end up smoking a fag and looking out across the water. It was so beautiful and I was so happy I had been having such a brilliant holiday.
It’s a full moon and I get lost looking at it. It was so bright and big, it looked so close. I was loving it. Then I realised that you could see the reflection of the moon in the harbor water so clearly. There were two of them but only one of me. This spun me out somewhat and I started thinking about two moons and did what did that mean. I have been single for well over two years now and although I loved being single at first I realised that i was getting a bit bored of it now what with there being two moons and all…….
** mental note to self: snap out of it, get on that dance floor now that’s why you are here…(ps you will be ok) **
Andy is really funky in the mix. Its brilliant. I am grooving by the side of the dance floor. Then the defected dancers descend on the floor in their tight sexy yellow t shirts. It all gets grooving now and the dancefloor fills up. Suddenly Kev and Don are there and we are all three moving and smiling. I look at Kev and think bless… this is gonna be a long night for him just on the booze and redbulls. The choons are building and its so disco, so funky, so right. I am starting to come up on the third.
Andy what was the name of the choon that had vocals about going into a paradise garden or somfin?
Or the one that went “Mister Mister”
God I was mashed. LOL
I was totally throwing my hips about. Then it carried on building. I felt the happiest I had ever ever been. Piano rifts, groovy vocals, oh yes this is brilliant…..
This is actually what I live for. I had been prancing around my living room all year since I went last year. And it was all coming good now. Well it felt good to me and that’s all that mattered.
I had also been doing loads of pilates dvds and the new york city ballet workout dvd LOL… it had taught me to a limited extent to prance around on my tip toes.LOL
I was flying and this piano rift came in and I was up on my toes and loving it. Oh man…..
Then the music just totally took me. I lost it NOT badly but in a totally good way. I was so so so happy. I was at peace with myself for the first time ever….
Then arms flaying all over the place the euphoria just totally swept me away. I spent the rest of Andy’s set swinging my hips and smiling like a prozac addict.
It was the BEST set I have ever heard. At the perfect time for me and the end of a brilliant week. Such silky mixing skills, and clever little samples and shucks it was just the best thing ever. Thought I knew loads about funky vocal house, didn’t know a single choon but they were all totally totally up my street. BLEW ME AWAY.
I went outside to get some air and Andy comes past grinning. I am drenched in sweat and proppa battered. He is laughing at me. Cheeky funker it was all his fault anyway. He danced me into euphoria. He says I better give him a good review!!
How do you like this one Andy?
Hey Andy…. Don’t go changing
Kevin finds me and grinning he says that seeing me losing it on the dance floor is one of his holiday highlights.
I say “I didn’t look like a dick did I”
He says “no man you looked like you were having the MOST fun ever” and he gives me a little hug. Thanks Kev that means a huge amount to me
Also during Andy’s set this bird taps me on the shoulder. I turn round and she is just stunning. The fittest bird I have ever ever seen.
“Having fun?” she says with a smile so beautiful it nearly made me cry. Her name is Fiona and her mate is Elanor (these are real names by the way). We five (them, Don, Kev and me) groove together for the rest of Andy’s set. Big grins all round. Fiona was HOT. Local sleezes keep coming over and hitting on the girls, mostly Fiona. Really horrible to watch. But every time she sent one of them scurrying away in failed sleeze self disgust she would look over at me and smile.
Was I imagining this? Oh funk just dance you fool. I hate this kind of thing when I am funked coz I never know if I am feeling the love or if I am just feeling the love. Its hard to tell sometimes.
We chat to them a few times and they leave about 5. Fiona, gives me a kiss goodbye and says that she will see me at Space on Sunday. She was just lovely and put butterflies in my tummy. Oh well should have asked for her number. Nothing to lose, everything to gain but like the fool that I am I was to shy to ask!
Don, Kev and I walk half of the way home and get a cab the rest. We have breakfast (well they do, I have a cuppa).
Then Kev has to call into work.
You see Kevin, our Kevin, is actually this geezer here:
http://5fm.co.za/dj.asp?id=92
Kevin Fine, radio dj. In South Africa, its radio 5 that is the popular music station that does the charts and that.
He does 7am to 10am Saturdays and Sundays. Its called the Rise and Fine show. brilliant. So we sat there mashed as a very tired man phoned into his show for a special report from Ibiza. Suddenly he was on air. And he was a man re-energized. He raved on about Ibiza and about Andy calling him the “new best upandcoming….”
Brilliant in the sunshine we were mashed smoking big uns… listening to our mate doing a live radio report to millions of south Africans. LOL
(Yesterday I got up at 6 to listen to his show on the internet and did a fair chunk of this review in the process. He was magic. Gave a big up to me and the Don. He said we really knew how to party and showed him a brilliant time. Kev you joined us during two rest days and one night out. Next time you have to come for the full twelve yards and we will make a man out of you. He was broadcasting from Durban beach – mate you really do have a lush job—and kept on announcing free t shirts and hats for birds to come down and boogy in their bikinis… and then near the end of his show he played “a little bit of Ibiza” and whacked on Lola’s theme and Rocking Music whilst feeding through the sounds of the south African bikini clad groovers whooping their hearts out. You nutter Kev, LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL- PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL PMSL)
Kev left about 12 and we carried his bags to the taxi and gave him a big hug and sent him on his way. Kev you are a gem dude. It was a pleasure and an honour to spend time with a man that at peace with himself, confindent, clever and witty but not arrogant AT ALL. inspirational stuff!!!
We went back poolside and I stripped to my costume which I was wearing for just this eventuality. I was severely mashed and was telling Don that I was scared I was gonna cain myself diving in. There were two birds just along on loungers. One was very fit and the other very average. I do a weird spazo dive and hear Don laughing as I hit the water. I hadn’t tied the string so the shorts slip to round my ankles as I grind my head on the bottom. Underwater mashed, upside down, face on bottom of pool… I DID INDEED manage to get those shorts back on, tie the cord and right myself coming up for air something of a Harry Houdini. Don and the birds are looking over and I say “should have tied the string” the all laugh and I go over and start chatting. They are a bit cagey. The really fit bird is really fit but I know her from somewhere. They say they are over to film a classical music video. It dawns on me as they leave…. The fit one is that Myleen Klass bird. She looks top in a bikini she does and she is quite sweet really.
Hang around poolside listening to Matt Collins spinning those lush summer bumpers for me, whilst sipping my shandy.
Don and I went out for some late night Tapas and then he went to Pacha!!! And I went to bed.
Next morning it was our last so we went down for brekkie and then packed and checked out. Left our luggage and Don stayed to top up his tan whilst I went to Space. Got there 3 ish.
Glad I went early. Got some thrills quite quickly and went for a bit of marching and groovin on the terrace. It was quite empty and very funky and vocally.
Was quite tired. You know body tired. It had been a long week. Don turns up feeling sluggish too.
As day went on the music on the terrace got harder and a darker.
I did a few more thrills but they never really ignited like just made me feel warm and fuzzy… perfect for chain smoking and holiday retrospect thinking stuff…….
We spend the rest of the afternoon wondering around checking out the scene and chatting to folk. Oi crazy Claire from Birmingham you said you were gonna join this forum and not just read and that you were gonna do a review! So where is it? Also kept an eye out for Fiona but never did see her
Don found and directed me to the roof terrace which is great and where I would have loved to have hung out for a bit on any of my previous space visits had I known about it. The main terrace wasn’t happening for me that day really.
Upstairs I spent the last couple of hours listening to Jose Paddilla playing wicked choons of a genre that I have never heard before. Kind of the kind of music that Ella Fitzgerald might make if she were around these days.
Spaced out at space.
Then back to the hotel for a last reefer and our bags, Got a taxi to the airport and checked our bags in and rushed outside where we threw the rest of the turf in a single skinner and the rest of the solid in the pipe…. Mangled we waited for our flight at the departure gate,
Back to Blighty and Don headed home. I caught a plane to Turkey for my pilates/meditation retreat. Before holiday I thought this would be a really good idea and just what I would need. But as it turned out sleeping in mosquito ridded tent in the scorching heat in the middle of funking nowhere with basic ablution amenities and eating lentil stew on the worse ever comedown was in fact the antithesis of what I needed.
What I needed was to be in my flat with my cat listening to funky choons smoking big uns and writing my review so I left after a couple of days…..
What a holiday
Thanks to Andy Daniell, Pam and Rick, Kevin Fine, Peyton, Danny Howells, Marc Doyle and Matt Collins, Kaz and Anne, Abe and Dave & nat and Michelle (and their gang on the terrace) and all the wonderful cheery peeps at the Hotel esVive. PLUS all the randoms along the way who either ranted at me or had me rant at them…..
And especially Don, dude we painted that town red (and green some). You total party animal you….
Bring on next year
Keep it real, keep it Fine
Thing I love most about Ibiza… wherever you go you hear house music. Even walking down the street J
** mental note to self:
(with thanks to Peyton)
Here’s what you gotta do
Lift your head up high
Move your body to the rhythms of a bluer sky
Put this whole world behind you where it belongs
Change is coming
Don’t you worry
Now it wont be long
Well move it on up
To a higher place
Where the people sing and dance
Under amazing grace
Just one more time
We’ll see the sun will start to shine
Get your hands up in the air
I’m gonna take you higher
After all is said and done
After war is waged and won
There is one thing left to believe in……
If you can rise up from your bed
Shake off the shackles
Clear your head
This life is yours and
ITS FOR LIVING
**
