Dating

Jack87 said:
Southampton-Norwich. 210 miles. Took me 3 hours going up at the weekend, very good run but it took over 5 coming home on Monday morning. Travelling is a pain, but there's other things. Both busy people, quite a big age gap, and as I said it wasn't part of the plan to start having feelings for anyone so soon after a messy end to a 9 year relationship.
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I wouldn't be making any promises if I were you. Have some fun, visit some other places. Don't transfer the depth of feeling from a 9 year relationship into a new one because that's the level if intensity you are used to.

Actually, presuming 87 is the year of your birth, at 25, just out of a long term relationship you've been in since 16, definitely don't make any promises. The world's your oyster, you're in your prime and as of your break-up, you are beholden to no-one. I'd be taking a few weekend trips Southampton - London and seeing who you meet. If you read this thread before you head up on a Friday, you'll be sorted!:lol:
 
This is the dilemma I've been having. Would've been a lot easier if I'd met her in a year or 2! But I suppose you can never tell when you're going to meet someone you really click with.

As for the previous relationship, no danger of any intensity being taken forward from that, there wasn't any. We lived almost completely separate lives and the relationship was dead a long time ago. It is/was my intention to do pretty much what you said. No promises to be made anyway, this weekend was the first time I've seen her since we first met in Ibiza. Very early days but I get the impression she's into me and I like her a lot. Bad timing!

I wonder if she reads this forum...that'd probably put an end to things!
 
Jack87 said:
This is the dilemma I've been having. Would've been a lot easier if I'd met her in a year or 2! But I suppose you can never tell when you're going to meet someone you really click with.

As for the previous relationship, no danger of any intensity being taken forward from that, there wasn't any. We lived almost completely separate lives and the relationship was dead a long time ago. It is/was my intention to do pretty much what you said. No promises to be made anyway, this weekend was the first time I've seen her since we first met in Ibiza. Very early days but I get the impression she's into me and I like her a lot. Bad timing!

I wonder if she reads this forum...that'd probably put an end to things!
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Get out there and meet some other people mate. Maybe by pure coincidence you have met someone who seems remarkably suited to you. Maybe, however, you don't realise that what you find attractive about her is that yes, you get on, but also she's not the person you've been used to for the last nine years. I know we're not all the same, but when I split up with someone after 8 years back in 2002, the first woman I got involved with next was exotic to me by the very nature of her otherness, that she wasn't the ex. Here's the crunch though, so was the next one and the next.

At the moment, all you've got to judge the your 'new relationship' against is your old one and the most recent memories of that are no doubt the worst! I'd sample what the world has to offer you before deciding this girl is 'the one'.
 
You know my feelings on LDRs... The travel might seem worth it to begin with, but how will you feel after a few months, especially if you have to weigh up feelings for the person against the cost/inconvenience/boredom of long distance travel? My rule is I won't entertain anyone who lives more than an hour away and even at that they'd need to be willing to share the travel! To be fair, if you can't find someone suitable in your town/city, there's likely something seriously wrong anyway. :?
 
OK, Spotlighters. Help me out. I've not been single since the days when America Online was the only way to get on the internet. Really not enthusiastic about getting back into this dating thing.

So... when you ask a girl out to dinner, and she brings a friend, is that generally bad sign?
(Background: I met her with mutual friends at a party the night before, she recently moved to Kiev and was back visiting, she left town today thus the alleged desire to "also spend time with her friend")
 
Johnny Vodka said:
One word: threesome. :lol:
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Same thing my best mate, whom I'd texted of the change in plans last night, wrote me in reply this morning :lol:
Johnny Vodka said:
Or you might end up paying for 3 dinners instead of 2. ;)
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Gentleman that I am, I paid for all 3, although it turned out the girls had a late lunch and so only had dessert and drinks.
Bummed though... wasted a perfectly romantic restaurant idea. 16th-floor restaurant with big windows and great views. :?
 
Morbyd said:
Same thing my best mate, whom I'd texted of the change in plans last night, wrote me in reply this morning :lol:

Gentleman that I am, I paid for all 3, although it turned out the girls had a late lunch and so only had dessert and drinks.
Bummed though... wasted a perfectly romantic restaurant idea. 16th-floor restaurant with big windows and great views. :?
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Awkward to say the least!
 
Buckley - Spotlight's own agony aunt!

Thanks for your input, you're probably right, but I'll probably just end up letting the whole thing play on my mind as I usually do when I'm unsure how to handle something. And then it's only a few weeks till the full Ibiza reunion at Bugged Out Weekender.

What will be will be I suppose. I'm loving life since I finally moved out of the house I shared with the ex. I'm getting out and doing what I want, and things are really looking good for the new year. 2012 was a rollercoaster, 2013 is going to be ace.
 
Jack87 said:
Buckley - Spotlight's own agony aunt!

Thanks for your input, you're probably right, but I'll probably just end up letting the whole thing play on my mind as I usually do when I'm unsure how to handle something. And then it's only a few weeks till the full Ibiza reunion at Bugged Out Weekender.

What will be will be I suppose. I'm loving life since I finally moved out of the house I shared with the ex. I'm getting out and doing what I want, and things are really looking good for the new year. 2012 was a rollercoaster, 2013 is going to be ace.
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Think of me as a virtual older brother Jack:lol:

My advice to anyone your age, in your situation, would always be not to limit yourself. Enjoy meeting new people, getting laid loads, there's plenty of time for commitment when you're old. I know, with a baby and marriage on the way, I'm glad I lived that life at the right time. Also my wife-to-be, the mother of my son, is someone I met back then, who came back to me at just right the time a couple of years ago, so who's to say that The Buckley Method (TM) doesn't lead to a longlasting committment (eventually!)?

And remember, where sunscreen!
 
Johnny Vodka said:
You know my feelings on LDRs... The travel might seem worth it to begin with, but how will you feel after a few months, especially if you have to weigh up feelings for the person against the cost/inconvenience/boredom of long distance travel? My rule is I won't entertain anyone who lives more than an hour away and even at that they'd need to be willing to share the travel! To be fair, if you can't find someone suitable in your town/city, there's likely something seriously wrong anyway. :?
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You're like a decent primary school JV - families will be moving home to get their daughters into your catchment area!:lol:
 
Buckley said:
You're like a decent primary school JV - families will be moving home to get their daughters into your catchment area!:lol:
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If only. I've been exchanging some messages with a lady from pof who stays within the required catchment area (just!). She's a good writer (as in the messages always have plenty of avenues for extending conversation); only trouble is her pic is very distant. Kinda working up to meeting up around new year, but I'm a bit worried since I haven't seen a close up. :?
 
Johnny Vodka said:
If only. I've been exchanging some messages with a lady from pof who stays within the required catchment area (just!). She's a good writer (as in the messages always have plenty of avenues for extending conversation); only trouble is her pic is very distant. Kinda working up to meeting up around new year, but I'm a bit worried since I haven't seen a close up. :?
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