What is it with girls???

Emma_1983

Emma_1983

Active Member
Now this is a bit of a random topic to put on here but its just been bugging the hell out of me since xmas really.....

I met my bf back in August, I met him through some friends of mine (my best friend is part of the group and she is with one of the fellas but more on that later) so we were all out one day drinking by the sea and me and my bf hit it off, we then met up a week later hit it off etc etc, we then got together after he came to V and we spent the Sat together (my friend was also there but she didnt seem to mind) anyway as time has gone its quite clear we are good together, we have been together 10 months now and just had our first holiday.

But the point I am trying to get to (without unnecessary waffle) is that my friend just doesnt always seem happy for me. Im trying not to say she is jealous because I dont want people to get the wrong impression of me and by no means is my life perfect but I cant help but think that she does not like me being happy - she has a weird relationship with her boyfriend (who is 1 of my friends), he wont ever commit fully to her even though we all know they are an item, I dont think I have ever heard him refer to her as his gf...they have been on and off for 3 years and he wont even dream of going away with her (hence why she was funny with me when me and my bf booked a holiday - I just assumed this was what couples did) anyway there is more to it but yes very weird relationship. It felt a few months back that she preferred it when I was single as she always had someone to go out with when he wasnt around (Sat is his night for the boys, fair enough etc etc). She even said this to me and we did have a falling out about back in March but soon made up.

Anyway me and her always go V together but its always more the merrier, anyway my bf and his mate have got tickets for the same campsite as us. I mentioned it to her and my other friend would they mind if my bf camped with us and neither of them replied to me all afternoon. Is this pathetic or what?

I just cant seem to win with her anymore. Its like she hates that I am with him and doing my own things.

I just want to see what people think. Is it me being paranoid or does it seem she has a genuine problem with me? It just upsets me as me and her are so close but its like she is letting my bf drive a wedge between us when I do nothing but try my best with her.

Sorry for the rant but this has been going on for months and an outsiders opinion would be great.
 
My missus had the same sort of stuff when she started seeing me. (I don't think they were jealous of her being with me!) They couldn't accept they we used and still do everything together. Missus still used to see them but was a lot happier in herself and they used to come out with stuff like 'all our lives ain't as perfect as yours' and sh1t like that.
One of her mates even tried finding my house to come and tell me that she was seeing someone behind my back and she had never even met me or knew me. She used to spend all her time with my missus and never used to like her being with anyone and was a control freak. The bird was clearly doolally and funny enough don't see her anymore which as Barry Proudfoot used to say - it's a right touch!!
Basically your mates is jealous of your happiness, but that's women for ya!
 
madwhitegiant said:
My missus had the same sort of stuff when she started seeing me. (I don't think they were jealous of her being with me!) They couldn't accept they we used and still do everything together. Missus still used to see them but was a lot happier in herself and they used to come out with stuff like 'all our lives ain't as perfect as yours' and sh1t like that.
One of her mates even tried finding my house to come and tell me that she was seeing someone behind my back and she had never even met me or knew me. She used to spend all her time with my missus and never used to like her being with anyone and was a control freak. The bird was clearly doolally and funny enough don't see her anymore which as Barry Proudfoot used to say - it's a right touch!!
Basically your mates is jealous of your happiness, but that's women for ya!
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Oh my god to coming round saying she was seeing someone else! Talk about try and stir up trouble.
Its never gone that far but she just wont make the effort or turns it all round on me where I feel I am very conscious of my friends....I have a different group of friends and they have never complained once. Just so frustrating as all this aside we actually have a great friendship.
 
Oh yeah one of them, who again had never met me said that she saw me in a pub round the corner with some bird yet I was at work that day! Silly young girls. Mind you her mate who was going to tell me she was seeing someone was 40 this year so can't call her a silly young girl!! Silly old tart!
 
He wants sex.

She wants commitment of sorts.

She looks at you and wishes she has the same type of relationship as you do with her bloke and is a tad green eyed with envy, but will be fighting a losing battle to "change him" even if she does get up the duff.

Some people are meant to be, others are not.
 
chewie_oo7 said:
He wants sex.

She wants commitment of sorts.

She looks at you and wishes she has the same type of relationship as you do with her bloke and is a tad green eyed with envy, but will be fighting a losing battle to "change him" even if she does get up the duff.

Some people are meant to be, others are not.
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To a T.

But why take it out on me? We have been friends for years now. Why change it now. Just frustrates me and upsets me at the same time.
 
chewie_oo7 said:
He wants sex.

She wants commitment of sorts.

She looks at you and wishes she has the same type of relationship as you do with her bloke and is a tad green eyed with envy, but will be fighting a losing battle to "change him" even if she does get up the duff.

Some people are meant to be, others are not.
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So, it's kind of like the chicken pie scenario Chewster?;)
 
Emma_1983 said:
To a T.

But why take it out on me? We have been friends for years now. Why change it now. Just frustrates me and upsets me at the same time.
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because its easy to. plain and simple. people usually take **** out on yr nearest and dearest. she probably doesnt even know shes doing it!

do most of her relationships end badly?
 
green eyed monster. your friend just wants what you've got with your boyfriend. don't fall out with her over it though, chances are she will still be there for you if you break up.
 
zutalor said:
green eyed monster. your friend just wants what you've got with your boyfriend. don't fall out with her over it though, chances are she will still be there for you if you break up.
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This is the thing. I would never put friends before anyone as I know how important they are....which just infuriates me even more
 
Emma_1983 said:
This is the thing. I would never put friends before anyone as I know how important they are....which just infuriates me even more
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i think you should have a word and ask why she's being so difficult. that's what i'd do.
 
Emma_1983 said:
You joke about that but she used to tell me he always told her to invite me back after a drunken night out :eek: :eek:
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:lol: that probably doesnt help your friendship and maybe why she's acting up at ya too!

in her mind "****ing bastard wants to shag emma too... bitch, i hate her
 
chewie_oo7 said:
:lol: that probably doesnt help your friendship and maybe why she's acting up at ya too!

in her mind "****ing bastard wants to shag emma too... bitch, i hate her
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She always laughed though because he said it about her other friend too and I never thought much of it to be honest........
 
If I was in your case I would have a serious talk with her, you say you allways been very close to her and maybe that's the problem, that she feels she is loosing you, that she feels that your relationship will never be the same and in a unconcious way she is doing all this stupid and irrational things wich is really the problem as for what you say I do not think she realise that she is in the wrong partly because feeling that you are loosing someone when is not the case is irrational like jealousy is irrational. So I would point to her that she is your best friend, tell her that she will never loose you, tell her that you are very happy with you boyfriend, that you are in love and that he is now in your life but that doesn't mean she is out!
I get along very well with the boyfriends of my best friends at the point that now a day some of them I feel as my own friends and I would be very upset if they broke up!

good luck!!! what ever you decide to do!:D
 
Essentially, some people can be very insecure, and act in an overprotective manor because they can't stand feeling like they're losing somthing they rely on for support. The fact that your friend is in this useless relationship even though it isn't what she wants, shows how desperate she is to feel wanted. It's very sad & I see it in my peer group all the time. Another common one is the needy girls who need constant reassurance and molly-codling through insecurity. Their BFs always cheat on them savagely, and I bet your friend's BF is too from the sound of things. If you won't go on holiday with a partner after a year it isn't a serious relationship. It sounds like your friends are a miserable bunch of bitches exercising a real playground mentality of ganging up on you as you've got something and they're jealous. I know this sounds harsh, but that's not the foundation of a sincere life-long friendship, and if you're onto a good thing with your new BF and they can't hack it then it's their issue and they aren't good friends. I've had loads of mates fall by the wayside since my teens, usually because of a difference of moral viewpoint, at the end of the day if someone acts like that then you don't need that in your life. Anyway, rant over.
 
Plain old jealousy :(

If she isn't mature enough to accept your new found love, then dump her, until she grows up! New friends are always around the corner :)

This happened to me when I first started going out with my partner, 15 years later I still don't speak to them :lol:
 
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