What are the weirdest things you have ever seen in Ibiza?

Didn't see it myself, but the guy who lost his arm out a car window and kept on driving has got to be up there . There's a picture on here somewhere.
Police pulled them over miles away .
 
Maybe not strange but surreal:

Me and mate decided to get painted up for last night, we'd missed zoo project. Anyhow opposite our hotel in San an was a place with hookers. When they saw us painted up, they ran across the road and took us to the doorway of their establishment (I guess they thought we where trollied but wasn't actually lol). They then all posed with us for photos to send back home to mum :D. But before we took pics one said "wait, let me remove my workers badge, my mum doesn't know I do this":oops:
My mate lifted one up and we have a picture of that and accidentally of her beaver! :D
 
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MrHullMysterious said:
Maybe not strange but surreal:

Me and mate decided to get painted up for last night, we'd missed zoo project. Anyhow opposite our hotel in San an was a place with hookers. When they saw us painted up, they ran across the road and took us to the doorway of their establishment (I guess they thought we where trollied but wasn't actually lol). They then all posed with us for photos to send back home to mum :D. But before we took pics one said "wait, let me remove my workers badge, my mum doesn't know I do this":oops:
My mate lifted one up and we have a picture of that and accidentally of her beaver! :D
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Right I'll say it then - where's the photo!?
 
It was just up past Eden/Es paradise opposite what is now palmyra hotel. Well was 4 years ago. Not my thing, I don't pay for it, I only do it for love:rolleyes::D
 
Got caught and reported to security by customers staying at a hotel for Shagging a lass by the lighthouse (at night) at the end of san an bay just off playa bella hotel. . The security came round looking for us with a torch, semi naked hiding in a bush like a XXX rated version of adam and eve. Must of been a lovely site for people on the balcony seeing a pale arse going to and from. They must of thought it was beachball :lol:

Strangest things ive seen is another story though :D


EDIT. Miss read the thread title, slightly tipsy whilst waiting for lift off the mrs.
 
Not something I've seen but something that happened to me. When Pr'ing in the west end a copper pulled me to one side and stuck a torch down my pants. He wasn't shy, thinking I was smuggling something
 
one night last year I spent 15 minutes outside Eden trying to convince a fella from Dublin that he wasn't in bray in co. Wicklow in Ireland where he thought he was trying to get a taxi home but in San Antonio until I realised he had an Ibiza rocks hotel band on and walked him there to get to his room. The gear must have been pretty good that night!
 
JakeG2015 said:
Not so much a wanking story, but similiar to the above, but a few years back, my first ever night on the "swedgers" and I didn't realise the implications of a term I've now come to accept like a long-lost brother: Pilly willy.

So I'm wondering why most of the night I can feel it constantly shrivelled. I mean, it seems to be retreating into myself the longer the night goes on, I can almost feel it now touching the belt on my shorts it's come up that far. I get chatting to a brunette, some northern lass who makes it pretty clear what her intentions are from the off when more or less her second sentence is asking to give my fingers a new flavour of the captain birdseye variety.

We start grinding a little and I'm growing more and more conscious that there's nothing to grind on. Thankfully, I think she was too swedged herself to notice, but it must have been like pole dancing on a Ken doll, the first ever man to have a dick made entirely of dust.

We end up back at the hotel, and I'm trying to coax this little pink smurf's hat out of his shell. At this stage it's looking less like a dick, and more like a clitoris than hers even is. Her insessant pleads of "Do me then!!" in a husk Burnley accent are doing nothing to help the situation as she very openly positions herself onto all fours on the bed, her clothes now just a distant memory of the not-so-long-term-past.

Thankfully, Percy (we all give our own a name, don't even try to deny it) doesn't wilt under pressure and does enough to immitate a convincing form, just as I was eyeing up the cylinder shaped room key and hoping she wouldn't notice the difference.

10 minutes past. Nothing. This is a new personal best.
Another 20 minutes.
Another 20.
And this is now at some pace.
Another 20. She seems to be having a great time, but I'm confused that she's not the slightest bit suspicious as to why this event has not reached full-time.

The sweat is now glazed over me like a Krispy Kreme, hair is soaked like I've just fallen into the Ushuaia pool yet again, she's looking similiar.
The whole room is condensated, windows steamed, moisture on the walls.

Eventually, after what must have been close to two hours since the first insertion began, I pull out and loudly exclaim my extreme frustration.
"I CAN'T f***ING CUM!!!" I yell, and as I'm doing so, the key in the door turns and my friends have returned to the room just in time to see me yelling the now infamous sentence whilst absoluting Paul van Dyk'ing this now soaked bird from behind.

"f***ing hell," says one of the lads. "It f***ing stinks in here!" and as two of them recoil in horror, holding their noses, the other lad there and then vomits all over the floor.
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This post is gold. Thanks for merging the threads and making me see this again!
 
My missus reminded me this weekender: Space Closing 2014 - a randomer handing us a raw potato at some point on Monday morning! :lol:
 
most naughtiest thing i have done in Ibiza:
way back on one day in july 1994 after an early night at km5, wifey and i woke up at 7 am. and got brekkie at the hotel, later on we drove to space, on the way we bought a bottle of gin, i must say that in them days it was easy to smuggle a liter bottle inside the club. space those days was not much more then the big main room and the terrase which was partly covered in a camouflage netting but still letting the sunshine thru. we were dancing and drinking our bottle, later i lost the wifey on the dancefloor, lol, not that i:D missed her :) i was avin fun too, as i met some french girl, by like 11 am. i saw wifey on some stage snuggling with some german lad....those were the days:), we partied on till space closed arround mid day and wifey and i met again outside by the parking, me with french girl and her gf, wifey with german lad, we went to buy a water melon of some veg stall next to parking, as we didnt have a knive with us i had this brilliant idea to smash that 10 kilo watermelon on our rent a car windscreen, it was literally a blast, the front window broke,:lol: but the melon was now ready to be eaten,,,,,,later on we managed to get 7 ppl in our car and i was driving that rented car very very drunk over the farm track from pdb via dc10 to salinas were we actually arrived in one bit. the manager at the rent a car company was not very happy with what happened, i told him that some1 throw a stone at the windscreen while we were not there....there was still some sticky melon bits on the screen. Update: What i forgot to write was that once the french girl saw that i had a wife she and the german got together......
 
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Off the top of my head there was a LOT of weird stuff going on at DC10 before 3pm circa 2005-2008.... opened my eyes as a young lad from a small town
 
Where do i start!!!!! These are what i've done by the way... :eek:

Sometime during the morning of Space Closing 2011 on the terrace for Coxy, i decided to give my iphone away it seems... I think i was asking someone to take a photo but Coxy must have dropped some absolute banger and i got carried away... Then about half an hour later, i thought i recognised the guy that had it... Both of us just weirdly staring at each other through the dancing bodies in the terrace... Me wondering is it him and him probably wondering why did that weirdo hand me his phone then walk off!?!? Later that morning, being driven back to San An by @kimajy and having to stop by the side of the road somewhere just before San An, so i could get out and curl up in a ball like a cat by the side of the footpath... Right on time, some local walks past with his dog and glances down at me in pure disgust...

What else?!?! hmm... DC-10 Closing 2010... Enjoying a lengthy conversation with the back of a security mans shoulder in the Main Room... I thought i was talking to Danni Minogue for some reason... The look on his face when he eventually turned round and caught me in mid-sentence!!!!! I don't know who was more scared... Him or me!?!!!

Space Closing (either 2013 or 2014 i think)... Impressing some Dutch people up on Premier Etage with my great magician routine (i'd told them i was a famous magician travelling the world performing tricks) which consisted on miraculously lighting and un-lighting a cigarette at will (basically just lighting it with a lighter, stubbing it out on the wall then lighting again with the lighter)... One of my friends even performed as my glamorous assistant, with lots of waving her arms about going on!! :lol:

Space Closing 2013... Getting randomly searching by the Guardia on the way round to Space, they told me to empty my pockets etc while my mates where all standing there waiting... The look on the guys face when i pulled out a copy of The Hobbit from my shorts was priceless!!! Although they tried to plant stuff on me, which wasn't so good!!! :spank:
Anyway, we all enjoyed a well deserved reading of The Hobbit up on the Premier Etage a few hours later that got more than a few looks...
 
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