Waaaaay Overdue Time Warp DE 2017 Review


Well-Known Member
Apologies for the delay on this!!!
Reason for delay was I had to wait until my official review was published by DT. Available to read here. (If you don't want spoilers - please stay with us here) ;)

Several weeks (and many edits!) later, I'm finally good to go.

Because I don't have all the time in the world in the world to re-write, I will be largely borrowing text from that same review. Spotlight gets the uncensored version though! :twisted: Additional text will be highlighted in bold.

I will be posting in stages, starting with backstory and journey.



As some of you may recall, at the start of 2016 I went travelling. My girlfriend and I were supposed to be away for 6-months January to July, starting in Australia and then onto South East Asia via New Zealand.

Things didn't turn out 100% to plan. We under-budgeted, overspent, my gf got quite sick in NZ and then her elderly grandmother got v.v.unwell back in the UK. As we had planned to be away on the other side of the world, we had already resigned ourselves to missing Time Warp DE in 2016 having been the previous 2 years ('14 & '15).

But a culmination of all those things led to us making the decision of cutting our travels short and coming home 31st March.

We had flexi-passes so fortunately changing our flights home was relatively hassle-free, and only incurred a menial admin fee.

If we had thought about it, we could've arranged to have our flights go via Germany and gone to Time Warp!! Alas, we didn't. And we spent the next few weeks.. months.. very depressed: our travels had been cut-short, we were concerned about her grandmother - still hospitalised (she's since made an almost full recovery :) ), we were both skint and now unemployed. And to boot, our friends - who did not yet know we were home - had the times of their lives in Mannheim.

What added salt to the wound was that a Brit friend we had made travelling in Oz ended up going off the back of us biggin' it up so much.
So we had proper FOMO.

We vowed we wouldn't miss 2017.

2016 dragged on and we struggled to get work (or more accurately, work that paid the bills + paid off our debt accrued whilst away)
It dawned on us that Time Warp in 2017 was not going to be realistic financially, along with everything else we wanted to do this year. With a heavy heart we decided to pull-out.

Then on Boxing Day, my worldie of a missus gave me my main Xmas present: 2 x tickets, flights & accomm to Time Warp 2017! (She's a keeper! ;) )
I was made-up! I couldn't stand missing out again. Furthermore, our group of friends interested was increasing as each week rolled by.
Soon we had recruited my sister as well.
And so our story begins...


Well-Known Member
Friday 31st March Part 1 - The Preamble

To set the scene: there's 12 of us in our tight-knit regular clubbing group that made the journey out, myself and my gf included. Then there's my sister. I should also mention she's been seeing one of my mates in said group. Then add a couple of tag-alongs (friends of friends) and 6 or so more acquaintances from our local party scene. This was our travel party. But we would meet up with upto a dozen more familiar faces once in Germany.

In the prep there were discussions about getting a mini-bus to and from the airport. In principle I was game. But ultimately I had to pull the boring card and opted to drive me, my gf, sister and (for the sake of the rest of the story I will call him "the boyfriend") the boyfriend to the airport. Everybody else pilled on the mini bus. The decision was purely down to necessity.

I was fully aware I had work the morning after we returned home. And whilst I knew the mini-bus there would be a right laugh, the journey back would've been suicide. Plus, being that we lived further away than everybody else, it would've been a given we'd be last to get dropped home having gone round the block.

As it turns out, 4-ppl splitting fuel and parking worked out cheaper than what our split of the mini bus would've been. Of course that lot all kicked things off en route, so we knew we were already playing catch-up. We got to Gatwick an hour or so earlier to compensate, got a good spot in the Wetherspoons and loaded-up in anticipation of their arrival.

Unsurprisingly the festivities begin at The Red Lion in Gatwick’s North Terminal early on Friday morning. We’re rolling some 20/30 deep (though nobody’s done an official headcount). And that’s before we hook-up with more familiar faces once arriving in Germany. A right motley crew has been assembled: a rogue’s gallery of techno tourists. There’s couples, singletons, several club DJs, a few bedroom DJs, sessionheads, low-level drug pushers, and this journo. There’s even a guy who had his tag taken-off the day before. A right mixed bag of party animals, united solely through their love of dancing. What could possible go wrong?

Of course the usual dilemmas were being posed: how are we getting stuff? Does anybody have a contact out there? etc. As it turns out, I'm friends with some wrong'ens. Wrong'ens with balls. So we were told not to worry as it was all "sorted". We kicked back and enjoyed some skulled some beers. People ordered food in dribs and drabs. I'm no fan of Wetherspoon's food, but figured it'd be better than food options on the plan, so I did order something. We had a giggle and speculated at the antics ahead. Obligatory group photo in the boozer:

The beers are in. Full English breakfast is on the cards. For some, it’ll be the last thing they eat for the next 72-hours. There’s mild panic when the information board briefly displays the wrong gate number. (technically it didn't display a gate no at all! It was left blank. Whilst all the other flights before and after started showing. We got dangerously close to the scheduled boarding time and then "BOARDING" flashed-up. Still no gate no though!!) If anything, the jog from one end of the terminal to the other puts us in good stead for events to come. We make it to the gate in plenty of time. No sweat. There’s more faffing though, because a few of us have neglected to adhere to the carry-on limit. (Cue people trying to shove items into other people's cases. We got there in the end!)

Walking onto the plane we get speaking to other travelling who are also heading to Time Warp. It's their first time. They enquire what the crack is? We do our civic duty and exchange numbers, reassuring them it'll be sweet.

Somewhat refreshingly, the flight-out passes without incident. We touch down in Stuttgart with time to burn. Mannheim itself is still 2-trains and 1.5hours away. So we locate a nearby roof terrace and sample the local beer whilst the sun laps down. (The sun was really out in force, and of course bringing sun cream just really hadn't crossed any of our minds. We were actually on the roof terrace of our friend's hotel. They were staying just next to the airport for the first night. We had gambled - or rather made an informed guess - on the dates and booked the hotel in Mannheim super early. For three nights the total was €165, so a complete bargain. Many of the others had booked later, and it had worked out cheaper for them to stay the Friday in Stuttgart). Chat meanders from tales of raves gone-by to speculation of what’s to come. “The build”. The thrill of the chase. Call it what you will, I love it!
Last edited:


Well-Known Member
Friday 31st March Part 2 - The Journey

It becomes apparent that we’re overstaying our welcome, as large groups of rowdy Brits abroad often do. When we arrived the terrace was busy with several nationalities. After an hour or so of the drinks flowing it was just our party left, and people were becoming increasingly loud. Also, certain people weren't being very subtle about continuously visiting the toilets. We take the hint and continue onward. Those staying there wanted to head into Stuttgart city centre to get some decent grub. And seeing as evening was setting in, myself, my gf, sister & the boyfriend really needed to start making our way to Mannheim. To we left together. We had train tickets pre-booked but they didn't and just jumped on the first train which arrived. We had to wait until the next one, so we said our goodbyes and splintered. I needed the toilet and the boyfriend wanted a fag, so we left the platform and headed back to the upstairs foyer.

Cue the first sketchy incident of the trip – and we’ve barely even started! Upon exiting the station toilet, I am accosted by 2 gentlemen in plain clothes. They soon reveal themselves to be police and I am escorted into a side-room and interrogated. Okay, so my bumhole went a bit! It happened very quickly, but I soon knew what was going on. I remained placid and calm (and did exactly as I was told!) I was probably the most sober of the whole group. So in reflection, it was pretty fortunate I was the one targeted. I boggle to think what would have happened had they collared the boyfriend instead. My hand luggage is searched. Motives for my visit questioned. As well as my sobriety.

They asked for my passport, which I handed straight over. Convenient it was in my front pocket, so no fumbling around.
They asked what the purpose of my visit was "I'm going to a music festival" (I didn't specify further, though it was probably obvious)
"Do you take drugs?" blunt and to the point, and their wording threw me a bit. "Do you take?" Not "have you got any drugs on you?" I scoffed. "No, no, no. I just drink... Alcohol" as if i needed to clarify!! :lol:
As it happens, I didn't have drugs on me anyway. Nor had I taken any earlier. The only mildly incriminating thing in my possession was a handful of unused baggies inside my case.
The boyfriend though.. he was steaming. And I was pretty certain he did have stuff on him.
"You and your friends are staying at the hotel opposite?" The penny drops. They'd been watching us for a while. Maybe even reported by the hotel? I show them my hotel booking confirmation.

Seems our enthusiasm is drawing attention to ourselves.

After a tense few minutes, my broken German, mild manner and cool head sees me let go.
Actually, adrenaline kicked-in and all my (very limited) German escaped me. I just spluttered and spat in English! Of course, their English was impeccable. They were very pleasant, and whilst intimidating, perfectly nice in every other way. Very stoic-faced. They didn't give anything away. After what seemed like an eternity - but in reality was probably only 5mins - they sent me on my way.

I had no idea where my gf, sister and the boyfriend were at this point, or even if they had seen what had happened. After a few minutes I spotted them in a convenience store inside the station. Conscious I might still be being watched tried to be as inconspicuous as possible in approaching my gf and muttering to her to get the boyfriend to stow anything he might have on him.

"Oh, there you are! Where the hell have you been?!"

I bent over, leaned into her ear and repeated before adding "I've just been taken into a side-room by the police and searched."

She didn't need telling twice.

It sounds silly now in retrospect, as I really didn't have anything to worry about. But I was still a little shaken. Finally we got on a train and were winging our way to Stuttgart Hbf. We sent a text to the rest of the group telling them what had happened and to be vigilante.

We changed at Hbf and managed to successfully navigate the station to find a platform in a different complex a few hundred yards away, boarding the connecting train we needed.

The boyfriend was getting increasing lairy. He had be swigging continuously on a btl of wine and various tinnies. Although the police story had shat him up for a bit, he soon forgot about and went back into Brit Abroad mode. It made the rest of the journey to Mannheim "colourful". The boyfriend was centre of attention and the whole carriage looked on in either amusement or fury. I lowered my head, trying to keep a low profile. But it was too late for that. I was guilty by association. We all were. Some of the staff/passengers actually really took to him (he is an acquired taste!) and found him hilarious. For others their expression told me it was the worst train journey of their lives. Anyway, we got to Mannheim - no harm done.

Base-camp is the Wyndham hotel located in the Turkish district of the town. It would seem we comprise a large % of the guests, though we’re far the only ones. Techno enthusiasts from all corners of Europe and beyond have migrated to Mannheim for the occasion. It’s a cosmopolitan affair.

We had been to this hotel in 2015 when our friends had stayed there. It was really great value for money with a decent location. We clocked some other faces from back home in the reception and exchanged pleasantries before checking-in. Finally I could relax a little. I hadn't drunk since the rooftop. We pitched-up at the downstairs bar and remained here for the next few hours. We probably should have eaten. But we didn't. It wasn't a conscious decision.

We’ve still got 24-hours until proceedings officially start. There’s talk of hitting the pre-party. Several others have already kicked things off in the privacy of their room. Technically this was the Stuttgart group who were sending us photos, whatsapps and snapchats from their "meal" which had descended into debauchery. Cooler heads prevail for now. A hearty meal followed by a night-cap at the downstairs bar is on the agenda. The meal never actually happened. But we drank into the early hours. Considering how raucous it had all started, it ended up being pretty civilized. This is Time Warp. Peaking too early just isn’t an option.
Last edited:


Well-Known Member
Saturday 1st April Part 1 - Happy Time Warp Day!

We wake late the next morning after a solid night’s sleep. Thankfully, the sun is still showing his face. It’s a positive omen. At breakfast a few dirty stop-outs creep in from the Liebing-led pre-party. He smashed it, we’re told (when doesn’t he?) Still, no regrets from us. We are fresh for the main event.

We got up around 1100 CET and were pretty hungry (hotel breakfast offering didn't look particularly appetising tbh). We took a stroll for a few blocks, and it wasn't long until we clocked the golden arches. I'm not a fan of having McDonald's in the UK, let alone abroad. But needs must. I tried my absolute best German in ordering. The sour-faced cow behind the counter wasn't impressed. Equally, we weren't impressed with the food presented. I'd have to say this was up with my worst McDonald's experiences. Dripping in grease and pretty flavourless. Still, we were fed.

News trickled through that - as anticipated, and in contrasts to their earlier protests - the Stuttgart lot had got right on it and ploughed through their supply of narcotics. All our source had left was little ones. So we needed a Plan B.

Fortunately some acquaintances also staying at our hotel had a source. We paid them a visit, compiled a bulk order list and large amounts of cash exchanged hands. Pick-up would be later. The boyfriend still had some gear left from yesterday, so we had a few lines and got proper in the mood for later. It was scarcely the afternoon.

The Stuttgart lot arrived around 1400. Our close-knit group arranged to meet for dinner (the previous evening some of them had ordered steak, and then started bumping which resulted in them losing their appetite and leaving their food untouched. I'm not sure what I mourned most: the idea of fillet steak going to waste, or them blazing through cocaine in the restaurant toilets).

At 1700 we met at reception. We went in search of Vapiano - pasta & pizza basically - as me & my gf had eaten here over New Year and new it was good but affordable. Obviously as we're idiots, we didn't factor in we were a party of 8 trying to get a table at 5pm on a Saturday on the first weekend of the month, also taking into account how many out-towners had descended on Mannheim these dates. Vapiano couldn't accommodate us. Maredo point blank wouldn't entertain the idea of even splitting us to 2 tables of 4. I dare say the fact we were English didn't help our cause. We wandered around for ages, and kept getting knocked back. All the while time was getting on.

In the end the those who had previously been in Stuttgart threw the towel in, and headed for McDonalds. There was no way we were going back again, so we headed in the direction of the hotel and in the end settled on a (very busy) Turkish grill restaurant close-by. It was filled with locals and the atmosphere was good. We all ordered chicken shish with chips and salad and it was very good. The restaurant didn't sell alcohol. Maybe no license? Or maybe because of religion? So afterwards we visited the LIDL across the street and bought a btl of throat-stripper Wodka and some Fanta Limon mixer. It was now gone 1900 and we had planned to leave at 2100! We still had to shower, change (and pick-up)


Well-Known Member
Saturday 1st April Part 2 - Almost Time...

Minor fiasco when we returned from dinner to find the boyfriend in a right state. He had sniffed an entire bag of K. Remarkably he was still somewhat with it. My sister (tried to) put him to bed. I visited our friends to collect our order. Pills, coke check, check. But no K. "We gave it all to (the boyfriend) as you ordered it together" FFS. I knew it'd be pointless asking him now, so back to the room to prepare.

The day is spent "gearing-up" :twisted: for nightfall. It’s feverpitch – the anticipation is tangible. Drinks flow throughout the afternoon and into evening.

The boyfriend has apparently come round. A shower has sorted him out. We quiz about the K. It's gone. He doesn't know where it went. Although, we can hazard an educated guess. The story goes when he picked-up he was goaded into doing a bag in one go. Which he did (he doesn't need much encouragement). Subsequently he passed out on the bed. The room had lots of people coming-and-going - as you can imagine. Some we knew, some we didn't. The occupant of the room recalls seeing baggies scattered around the boyfriends body as he laid. Of course, they're long gone. I want to be mad at him. But his liability proceeds him. It's a bit like when you scold a puppy off and they give you the soppy eyes.

Miraculously, the drugs are found. So it's back to the room for a bit of music and more pre-drinks.

It’s feverpitch – the anticipation is tangible. Drinks flow throughout the afternoon and into evening. By 2100 we are eager to leave, sufficiently pre-loaded with alcohol. A call to the front desk, and we request half-a-dozen taxis to ferry us some 20-mins down the road to Maimarkthalle.

Whilst waiting for our taxi we get chatting to some 18yo/19yo scousers who are here for their first time. They ask us about security. We tell them they only have to be careful of the polizei doing random searches on the way to the venue. Once inside, no worries! ;) They jump in the first taxi, probably one of the ones we ordered. More people converge outside. "Are you guys waiting for taxis, too?" I visit the front desk and request a few more to be sent.


Active Member
Cracking review so far! I'm hooked!! This is making me want to go Timewarp very very much now as I've never been and you aint even arrived yet!

p.s. good to hear the goodies arnt to hard to come by when out there! Will have to make the trip soon


Well-Known Member
19 Hours Lost Inside Maimarkthalle - Time Warp

It’s 2300. The queue at the door is expansive, but appears to move quickly enough. That unmistakable mumour fills the air – it’s an international zeitgeber which transcends accent and dialect. Excitement! Anticipation is peaking. We edge forward. Step-by-step. We tip-toe to the front and get beckoned forward by the steward. It’s a brief pat-down, then we’re inside! For now, more queuing. Drink tokens and locker are our first priority. Desperate to meet up with the rest of the group, we put our head down and wait patiently. These are just mandatory steps on the path to wonderland. A process which must be followed from start to end. It’s midnight by the time we enter the first music arena.

When we joined the drink token queue it wasn't that bad. But v.quickly people were just pushing to the front and it soon became a chaotic bundle. I firmly stand with the opinion that the majority of people dont mind queuing in-and-of itself. But what I can't tolerate from event organisers is poor queue management. Just stick one of your many dozen stewards who are otherwise standing around twiddling their thumbs on a queue, and get them to monitor it, make it flow and stop rude people shoving in. It wasn't quite as bad as Space closing, but it did put me in a bad mood before we'd even heard any music.

Also worth pointing out for future reference - don't use the drink token booths at the entrance. There are more situated elsewhere in the complex with far shorter queues. No queue at all inside Rooms 1 & 2.

As a veteran of 2 previous Maimarkthalle Time Warps, the euphoria of walking into the furnace of Rooms 1+2 is unrivalled. It’s a buzz I had forgotten. A buzz which comes flooding back. The point where expectation and experience affirm. We gawp. For techno fans, this is like walking into Aladdin’s cave. The sound pumps through our bodies and takes a hold. The vastness of the room alone is daunting in itself. And the production? Wow. In Room 1, forks of fluorescent blue and purple lightning bolts criss-cross the LED ceiling. In Room 2, ominous dark orbs hang. Not forgetting the many high-grade lasers which have been installed across the complex.

We waltz up to the rest of our party as if we had planned to meet there-and-then. It’s just another piece of the cosmic jigsaw which dovetails perfectly. When it all falls into place so perfectly you know it was just meant to be. Choreographed beams of light rain down from the ceiling in symmetry. Their illumination in the vast darkness is like dozens of UFOs overhead. Rødhåd is on, and delivering a storming set. It’s the baptism of fire we were yearning. Fists are pumping left, right and centre! The adventure begins. 19-hours lost inside Maimarkthalle.

We had planned on arriving in time to see Sam Paganini. But after queuing for the drink tokens, sorting locker and going to the toilet we had missed him. Rødhåd was class though. This is the first time I'd caught him properply, and he was easily in my top 2/3 sets of the the event.

We make a rookie mistake returning to our locker right before Coxy is due on. By the time we get back to Room 1 the queue has mutated into a mob security seem unable to control. The bottleneck is at the single-file entrance. It will be a reoccurring problem across the course of the next 12-hours. Sadly, one we recall all too well from previous visits. The situation at the toilets isn’t much better. This is only for the brave!

Out of my 3 visits to Time Warp DE, this was the worst I've seen the crowd get out of hand, and the longest I've had to wait to get back into an arena. I guess this was simply symptomatic of Coxy's huge 2016. Again, the stewarding left a lot to be desired. There were present, at least. But seemed they were causing more problems than alleviating them. The main problem is the entrance is simply too narrow. Inside there is still plenty of space. You'd think with the Love Parade disaster still fairly recent they would look at this more closely?

Frustrations are vented. People get bargy. And shouty. We overhear an English voice nearby lament that he is missing Dubfire. More waiting. More pushing. Our Dubfire fan’s friends suggest bailing and checking-out elsewhere. But he remains resolute, opting to hold-tough and persevere. It’s the kind of dedication we like to see. All of a sudden – just like that – we’re back in! Just in time for the big man!

Cox’s escapades and exposure over the past 12-months have only added to his universal appeal. Despite heavyweight offerings meters away in the 5 other arenas, it is here in Room 2 between 0100-0400 when we are most squeezed for space. It’s the most boisterous of all the arenas.

The crowd was actually pretty horrible. Very aggressive. Little respect for anybody else. Again, the Coxy affect? I don't know. But this wasn't the Time Warp crowd I knew and loved. Still, credit where it's due, Cox delivered. Putting the shoving and constant people coming-and-going I enjoyed the set.

Like putty his hands, the crowd are easily whipped into killfrenzy. They are happy to go with whatever Cox throws at them! One epic build – hands go up, but Coxy is teasing us! Then a devastating drop; the lights flashing epileptic!

This is the track:

Mid-way through Cox's set we dabbled with Floor 2 again to see Sven. For those that don't know, Sven has had some pretty unreal intros in the past. Nothing of that grandeur this year, but he started with some good acid tinged stuff. It got a bit psychedelic. He was playing for 4 hours so I knew this was gonna be a bit of a journey set which you really needed to fully-immerse yourself in and see it through. Unfortunately, I could already tell gf, sister and the boyfriend were losing interest. So we head back to the Coxy mosh-pit next door.

After Cox finishes we stick around for Maceo Plex. Some of you on this forum will know that I'm quite a big Maceo fan, so I was really looking forward to this set. I dropped my first half as he came on.

Total disappointment though. Dull and directionless. We gave it half an hour and then cut our losses.

We had lost the rest of the group after we left Rødhåd. Phone signal was sporadic. We headed for Jamie Jones in Floor 4.

Now, I'm no JJ fan. But the last two times I've seen him at Time Warp he has blown me away! The sets are available on Soundcloud, and I can't recommend them enough. So we felt this would be a banker and also suspected the others would be here too.

Well, if Maceo had been a let-down than this was worse. It was felt totally flat. "Flatter than a witch's tit" as a friend of mine would've called it. In JJ's defence, the sound was terrible. Really, really bad. But we were in danger of losing our buzz.

The boyfriend emptied a baggie onto his wrist and pointed with his eyes. I bent over and snorted the lot. Christ. There was a lot. It hit me pretty instantly.

Now, I do like Ket from time-to-time. I'm by no means a regular user and I can leave it most of the time. When I do take it, I far prefer it as an after-party drug. I totally get why certain people think it kills the vibe on the dancefloor. And right now, I was that vibe-killer. Staggering around in a bit of a mess.

As we went to exit the room I stacked it into somebody and knocked their full drink all over them, myself and my gf. She wasn't impressed. I was so apologetic, not to mention embarrassed. I offered to buy the guy a replacement drink, but he was having none of it and gave me a hug. In the end, bizarrely, he ended up apologising to me.

We bumped into a friend, and he told us everybody was in Floor 3. Seeing as Maceo & JJ had been so shit, we thought we might as well be all together in the same place. So Floor 3 we went.
Last edited:


Well-Known Member
The K had really kicked-in and I was struggle to navigate the busy room.

This is significant for a few reasons: firstly, in my 2014 & 2015 visits I also spent a lot of time in Room 3 very ketty. So I was getting a strong case of deja vu, which - along with the inability to walk like a human adult - made me a bit paranoid.

Secondly, ever since I had a bad trip on a 2cb, whenever I overdo it on ket I regress into that same trip. It is a quite bizarre experience. It is a solipsistic trip which is very scary as in the moment it becomes my reality. I was still a liability being led around the very busy room trying to find the exact location of our friends and the hallucinations were not helping. I was hovering around the cusp of falling into a fall-blown hole, and luckily I noticed this and was able to pull my brain back into reality if I focused enough.

The music, though, was a lot better. Thumping techno. And the party vibe was here! I couldn't work out who was DJing. I kept looking up and I thought it might be Solomun, although I could've sworn he was due on later. As it turns out - low-and-behold - it was Luciano who was smashing it!! We locate our friends and I do my best to come round.

We re-group in Floor 3. All a little jaded now, but thankful having being reunited. It’s here we are greeted by the surprise package of the night: Luciano is bangin’ it out! The energy which was found wanting in other arenas is here in abundance. It’s high octane stuff. The crowd eat it up! Perhaps it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. Such is the occasion that DJs often up the ante and bring their A-game. We hadn’t planned on being here quite so early. But at Time Warp, you have to be prepared for changes to your itinerary. So for now we stay and savour the moment.

Everybody I was with seemed to be really diggin' Luciano. I was still a bit of a state to be honest. I needed a drink and some fresh air. It was now that I clocked the time and realised it was only 10-minutes until I had arranged to meet Ben @Ikoda & @stivi outside Floor 5 for Garnier. I know it was ill-advised, but I snuck off without saying a word to anyone, grabbing a drink en route.

As I already mentioned, phone signal was pretty crap. And having never met Ben or Stivi before in person, I was scanning everybody desperately seeing if I recognised their face from photos, or if they might recognise me. I was also still very much coming-to. I waited for about 10-minutes and just enjoyed the fresh air. Then I visited the toilet before coming back and waiting another 5-minutes. No sign of either of them and still whatsapp messages weren't being sent. By now I knew my gf was probably worried and looking for me, so I went back to Floor 3 for a scolding. The breather had done me the world of good, and I was human again. No more ket for me. Well, not until back at the hotel anyway.

After I took my telling-off on the chin, I decided that the night doesn't make you, you make the night! So I went to the bar and cashed in loads of drinks vouchers.

The voucher system deserves a quick mention at this point. In the past I have always put me being in a bit of a pickle for not fully grasping their ticket system. But having gone in (relatively) sober on this occasion, I can categorically say that the system is plain shambolic! Even their staff don't have a scoobie what's going on.

The exact same round of drinks we ordered all night never came to the same amount. Not once. And it didn't matter how many deposit tokens or empties we returned with. The symstem is so ridiculously over-complicated, that in the end I thought f*** worrying about keeping these deposit tokens safe or clinging onto my empty btl for dear life hours after I've finished it! Ain't worth the agg.

By this point I wasn't really feeling Luciano. It was still thumping but nothing which inspired me. Then he played that "Uh Oh" remix of his that he's been playing for donkey's, and that was me done. Plus it was Loco Dice on next, which I really did not fancy. A few of our group wanted to go see Pan-Pot, which I had no problem with in principle. Only Garnier had already been on an hour and I was still hopeful of bumping into Ben & Stivi.

It looks like I wasn't going to get my way, but after they clocked the carnage trying to get into Room 1 & 2, they decided against it and returned with their tails between their legs.

Last edited:


Well-Known Member
Everybody I was with seemed to be really diggin' Luciano. I was still a bit of a state to be honest. I needed a drink and some fresh air. It was now that I clocked the time and realised it was only 10-minutes until I had arranged to meet Ben @Ikoda & @stivi outside Floor 5 for Garnier. I know it was ill-advised, but I snuck off without saying a word to anyone, grabbing a drink en route.
I spent about an hour in that room, god knows how we missed each other (third event in a row too, we're making a habit of this mate :lol: )
Last edited:


Well-Known Member
We make the pilgrimage en masse to Floor 5 for Garnier. His early morning sunrise sets in the domed room are deeply etched in Time Warp’s legacy. En route we flit through Room 4, momentarily double-taking. Somebody is playing Damian Davey’s ‘Time Warp’ from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. (I later realised this must've been Seth. I mean, it's a pretty Seth thing to do!) Camera phones are out* as the room enjoys sing-a-long together. It’s a bizarre moment. Yet we’re letting ourselves get distracted. Time is against us, so we round-up the stragglers. Garnier & Room 5 are calling…

(* not mine FYI)

We get in just before 6am. It’s dawn. Over the next hour sunlight gradually seeps through the skylight. It has an air of celestialism about it. By 7am daylight has unmistakably broken. Rays beam in. We’ve reached a landmark in proceedings. Garnier masterfully dictates the pace of the floor. He owns this room. It just wouldn’t have been the same without him!

I can't be 100% sure, but I think Garnier played this beauty:

Time for another pill.

After an hour of Garnier we congregate in Room 4. It’s the time of day when the weird and wonderful characters come into their own. The freaks are out to play! No doubt many taking advantage of the early morning ticket option. Patrice Bäumel’s ‘Glutes’ is one-such track which nails the mood.

It is now the first signs of wear-and-tear begin to show. Emotions are brought to the surface. D&Ms are propping up all over the shop. The most animated are chewing the ears off randomers they’ve befriended a few minutes earlier. A few are still getting lost in the music. It’s a weird vibe. We’re exhausted. Yet restless. And dangerously close to flagging! There’s talk amongst some that they might call it a day. It’s decision time. Leadership is required.

We agree on a tactical pit-stop in the adjacent chill-out area. Here, bodies litter the floor. It’s like a giant slumber party. Joints are passed casually around. The level of shit-chat might well be unprecedented. But it’s all part and parcel. For some, the downtime has been exactly what the doctor ordered. For others, stagnation begins to take hold and keeping the momentum going is the only option long-term. Legs rested, mouths watered; we head back into cauldron.

We head in the direction of Floors 1 & 2. On the way a guy a few yards in front of us collapses. Everybody around him us included, start waving and shouting for the PMTs (who have a high presence, and walk around the complex all event). They are on the scene pretty quickly. He looked in a bad way, eyes rolling back into his head. But I guess & hope he was fine, as we didn't hear anything of it post event.

We pass Floor 3 and it sounds like Solomun is absolutely havin' it! I could've gone here, but everybody else was keener on 1 & 2.

We flirt once more with Room 2. Nina is on. True to recent form, she delves into trance-territory. It’s Da Hool’s ‘Love Parade’ which she brings out the locker.

And it’s fair to say it brings the roof down! It’s one of those moments. One which’ll forever be associated with Time Warp 2017. Like an aural shot of adrenaline, our energy levels spike. This is a marathon, not a sprint. And we just got passed the wall. The next obstacle awaits. It’s headache time as the schedule presents set-clashes galore. It’s time for the group to splinter again...

I know that Nina has a pretty bad rep for clanging, though the handful of times I've seen her I can't say I've noticed it. This time however, one particular transition was terrible. It made me cringe how bad it was. I'm not one of these people who absolutely believes that beat matching is the most important thing, but this did put me off a little. I guess with Nina you simply get a great selector with a really deep record collection and no idea what she is gonna pull out of the bag next.


Well-Known Member
We settle on Adam Beyer – who else? He’s the one we keep coming back to. And for good reason.
Self-confessed, unapologetic Beyer fanboy here.
It’s the pick-me-up which was needed and we catch our second wind, the Drumcode boss clearly rising to the occasion. It’s a blistering set – our stand-out of the day – one highlight being Adam belting out Dense & Pika’s ‘Wild Rage’ Remix.

This track gives me goosebumps hearing it again. My serotonin gets firing even though I'm stone-cold sober sat at my desk at work. That is what I love about the the combination of ecstasy, electronic music and the power of the brain and memory. Proper moment!

Another nice one I now recall looking back (it's just been released, so I've only ID'ed it recently) is this one:

At the front the CO2 canon erupts, engulfing the dancefloor. The backdraft cools us at the rear, skin tingling.

But it was the thrilling finale which really got me going!
It's taken me a while to ID the track in question, but I think I finally have it! There's not much online at the moment, but seems it will be Layton Giordani's next release on Drumcode, 'Live Again'. This track samples the "Make Your Transition" vocal of Underground Resistance fame and it's f***in epic!

Beyer is rightfully applauded off. But there’s no let-up, as Capriati is next to the parapet.There is visibly a strong Italian contingent present for the Napoli native. On this evidence, it seems clearer than ever that Capriati has ascended into the upper echelons of the major league. His followers’ god-like worship of him is testament to that. We weave through the crowd in a bid to bump into a familiar face but come-up short. So we find a spot at the back of the room with good views and watch in awe as Capriati unleashes his techno offensive. It’s a joy. A sea of revellers captivated by the chorus of the ringmaster.

By this point, the music and the drugs had come together in perfect unison and taken control - I was lost in the music. I couldn't tell you what he played. And it mattered not. Because I was coming up strong.

We kinda had our buzz killed about 3/4 through Capriati's set. There was a girl behind us who was really not too good on her feet. She was staggering around all over the shop. Every now and then I could've sworn she was groping me. Was wasn't ideal being that my missus was right next me!!

Anyway, I knew that my gf had clocked her as well. She was just hammered/under the influence and didn't have a clue what she was doing. My gf propped her up and asked her if she was alright and where her friends were. She was Czech and we couldn't get any sense out of her other than her name, which now escapes me. Suddenly she had became our responsibility as she went limp! :spank: So we took her to the bar.

After much protesting with the bar staff that we didn't know her and she needed some water, finally they gave us a bottle of water for free.

She drank some and it seemed to do her some good. Every now and then she had a weird 5-10 second burst of dancing around like a loon, really enjoying herself and then she'd regress into this monged out casualty. Several times we grabbed her just in time before she hit the deck. We figured we were gonna end up being her guardians for the rest of the morning!

Soon though my gf whispered in my ear that she was acting strange. I watched her for a while, and having been groping me earlier, she was now getting a bit too hands on with my missus! In addition, she kept trying to grab the phone in her pocket! We let this slide a few times as she was clearly very wasted. But when she accosted another guy - we've no idea if she knew him or whether he was simply her next victim - he seemed to like the attention, and we used the opportunity to get away. Strange girl. I hope she was okay. But we were scarcely in a condition to look after ourselves, let alone a stranger.

As proceedings in Room 1 are brought to a close, we break cardinal sin by sitting down. Ultimately, this is our undoing.

We had lost most other of our group watching Nina. My sis & the boyfriend had said their goodbyes before we leapt into Beyer with both feet. So it was just the 2 of us. The situation with our Czech friend had left us a little exhausted! We had both noticed our feet were starting to ache.

We go back to Floor 2, and Hawtin is on. I can take or leave Hawtin. From the little I saw he did appear to be in good form. He played a remix of some 80s pop track which I can't remember unfortunately.

The group chat has gone dead. It could mean we’re the last 2 people standing. More likely, it means phone batteries have given up the ghost. We’re out of drink tokens. Our Euros are running low. Serotonin levels are depleted. With a heavy heart, we make the joint decision to head for the exit.

We always have the intention of staying until the bitter end, regardless of where we go. But equally, we have an agreement where we are honest with each other when we think there is no turning back for the night. It was obvious we had reached that point. This was no slight on the music. It would've taken dropping another pill and getting back in the right frame of mind. We figured everybody else from our party had probably gone back to the hotel, and were likely to be carrying on the party there.

We made it through ‘til midday. Thankfully a steady stream of taxis awaits. Time Warp you never disappoint! It’s been emotional. As the name infers, time has been warped – our sense is distorted. We’ve lost hours. Or have hours lost us?

As our taxi pulls away we’re in two-minds as to whether we made the right call? FOMO sets in. We imagine Carola going hell for leather in Room 3. And Hawtin on song in Room 2. But we’re beating ourselves up unnecessarily. Afterall there’s still antics to be had back at the hotel! :twisted:

This wasn't my favourite Mannheim Time Warp musically. And I think the crowd was probably the worst of my experiences there. But Time Warp is Time Warp. It's a bit like bad pizza and bad sex - still better than none at all! Joking aside, I can't recommend this event enough. For me, it is a must-do even if it is just the once.
Last edited:


Active Member
We settle on Adam Beyer – who else? He’s the one we keep coming back to. And for good reason.
Self-confessed, unapologetic Beyer fanboy here.
I woke up just as Nina was finishing and watched all of Beyer's on the live stream on my laptop with my headphones in while the Mrs was asleep next to me!! What a set!!


Well-Known Member
So there you have it, that is my review of Time Warp DE 2017 complete!
It ranks third on my list in terms of personal favourites: 1st 2014, 2nd 2015, 3rd 2017.

I am not sure we're fussed about going again next year. However... having said that, I know closer to the time we'll be looking at flights and trying to work out how we can fit it into our budget!

Thank you for reading. If you enjoyed, I ask a small favour that is would you mind sharing my official review here on any social media channels. If you can, that would be highly appreciated! Much love <3

I will be posting about the aftermath on Monday for anybody who cares to keep on reading.