Secret Life of an Ibiza Worker

The Homecoming
Before I had even moved to Ibiza I had always scheduled a trip back to the UK mid-June for my childhood friend’s wedding but now I had started to get sicker it made sense for me to book an appointment with the doctor too to see why things had started going downhill and whether they were going to get better. My flight had been booked for early in the morning, and paranoid as I am I decided not to go to bed the night before so as not to miss my taxi at 7am (this might seem strange but when 6am is your normal bedtime it makes more sense to stay up!). That night I went out for a few drinks with friends and then around 4am Alex came round to spend some time with me. I was going to miss him in my 5 days back home and so we just relaxed, smoked and chatted. It was at this point I decided to make a shocking announcement to him. I had a ‘boyfriend’ back home who I would be staying with for the next 5 days. Now this will probably make me seem like a horrible, terrible person but things were a bit more complicated than that.
I’d met Nick just 5 days before Ibiza and instantly fallen head over heels. For the whole 5 days before I went away we spent every minute together and when I left it was truly horrible. Since then we had spoken daily on the phone and were both excited to see each other again. He had done a season in Ibiza himself back in 2009 so he knew exactly why I wanted to be in Ibiza and so we had decided that we both would remain in an open relationship until I was permanently back in the UK. When I had agreed to this I never really thought I would find someone like Alex. I thought I would meet a few guys and have a few flings, but not develop feelings for someone, so going back to Nick, I really did feel torn. Alex however was great, he told me it didn’t matter and to just go and enjoy my friend’s wedding and also another friends leaving party who was emigrating to Australia. That morning he carried my bags down to the taxi for me and kissed me goodbye on the head. He told me he couldn’t wait to see me in 5 days and turned away. I didn’t realise that this would be the end of my time with Alex this season.
Back in England the first thing I did was visit a doctor and it was bad news. My heart rate was elevated and my blood pressure was low. Even to an untrained professional I was noticeably ill (I was constantly shaking so badly that I couldn’t even hold a pint glass - something that had become apparent in work in Ibiza, so my boss had invested in a set of smaller plastic cups for me to drink out of!!) and I was advised to stay in the UK and rest for the period of a month. This absolutely devastated me. Today was Thursday, I had the wedding Saturday, the leaving party Saturday night and a flight back Tuesday. Not to mention a million other people to fit into the next few days. I arrived at Nick’s house that evening and told him the bad news. He told me to forget it for this evening as we were going to enjoy the beer garden in the nice weather to watch the football. I’d just managed to forget about the visit to the doctors when I got an incoming call on my mobile from Ibiza, it was Chris and I could guess what he was ringing for. Chris and our boss had known I was seeing the doctor that day so at the end of his shift he had rang me to see if I had some good news. It was at this point I had to tell him the bad news and get him to pass it on to my boss too. They both were devastated. I still hadn’t decided I would stay in the UK at this point though (all my things were still in Ibiza after all) so I told him I would definitely see him next week, but that it might just be for a short holiday whilst I packed my things and said goodbye.
The next few days in England rushed by. We went out again on the Friday, I had the wedding Saturday (which I’m not ashamed to say I definitely shed a tear or two at!), I surprised my friend at her leaving party (I’d told her I wouldn’t get to see her because of the wedding), Met a married couple I knew from Ibiza for Sunday lunch (more about them in a future chapter ;) ), went for Dinner with a friend Monday and then prepared for my extremely early 6am flight Tuesday morning. When it got to Tuesday I realised I really didn’t want to leave Nck. I had briefly thought about Alex but I also knew my feelings for Nick were really strong. We chatted though and after a long chat we decided I would go back to Ibiza, and unless I got worse, I would stay for the remainder of the season. He promised me he would be out to visit in just a months’ time and for the second time in a week, I said a sad goodbye to a guy I really cared about as I got in a taxi. Ironically, this too would be the last time I would see Nick as anything more than a friend!
 
I was noticeably ill (I was constantly shaking so badly that I couldn’t even hold a pint glass - something that had become apparent in work in Ibiza, so my boss had invested in a set of smaller plastic cups for me to drink out of!!)
that‘s what a real friend would do :lol:
 
that‘s what a real friend would do :lol:
I know! He even wrote my name on them, and put them in a different place so nobody else would take them! They came in a range of styles, sizes, depending on what type of drink I was having. And the good quality plastic, not thin rubbish plastic type.
 
The Return
When my taxi dropped me back off at my apartment in Ibiza who would be the first person I bumped into but Ellie. She ran straight up to me, and nearly knocked me over with her overzealous hugs and I knew instantly, she was high! She told me she hadn’t been to bed in two days but this had given her time to realise she really missed me and was sorry that we had fallen out. After the stress of the doctors and leaving Nick I decided I didn’t have the strength to argue so accepted her apology and let her help me with my things back to the apartment. Tony was in the apartment and threw his arms around me. It was great to be back with friends, I had ridiculously missed them even though it had only been a few days and so I sat on the balcony to catch up with him. Our apartment was behind Mambos and whilst I had been gone the 123 festival had been on so he told me all about the deafening noise and vibrations in the apartment that had stopped them being able to do anything for days.
I chilled out by the apartment pool for the rest of the day and by mid-afternoon most of the others had made their way down too. It was great to see them but also sad to catch up and tell them the news from the doctors. One girl Lucy, lived next door and also worked with me at the bar. I’d gotten her the job as waitress there and she absolutely loved it (as did all the staff and customers love her!). I told her I was going to go down to the bar shortly to talk to the boss with the aim of reducing my shifts. It was still early and Chris would be on shift so I decided to walk down now and have a few drinks with him before speaking to the boss.
When I arrived it turned out that the boss was already in the bar. The first thing he did was give me a big hug and get me a drink before sitting down to talk about the doctors. I told him what had been said and suggested that I cut down from 6 shifts a week to 4, offering to get him someone else to cover the other shifts (not a problem when lots of my friends still hadn't got permanent work). Unfortunately at this point he turned around and said that he was sorry but this just wasn’t working. He said he worried too much about me getting sick and so would have to let me go. He walked behind the bar and handed me my 3 days wages he owed me (around 90 euros) and then he left. Chris looked shocked, I was shocked. Just after deciding to stick Ibiza out I now had the prospect of just 90euros left and no job to earn more. Chris poured me a drink and I decided that today I wouldn’t worry about it. He said he would ask around about work for me as he knew a lot of bar owners and was sure he would find me at least a few cover shifts here and there. I decided to take a few days and then perhaps ask for my old job back selling tickets. I had done this the year before and could be quite good at it. I also had a lot of friends from the year before coming out looking for tickets so this seemed the best way to move forward. I can’t quite remember what happened the rest of that day but I’m pretty sure it involved Chris pouring me a number of drinks on the house and then us continuing drinking way after his shift. Either way the next few days are somewhat of a blur to me!
 
Vodka Volleyball

So with work scarce over the next week things started to get very very messy! I was really enjoying living at the apartments (despite the situation with Ellie still getting on my nerves!) and spent many a day by our private pool. The pool became a bit of a hangout spot for many people in the block and most people would get out of bed, head to the supermarket joined to our block to buy a couple of cans of cider (or a bottle of 6.95 vodka depending on how drunk we planned on getting) then sunbathe and listen to music. There were quite strict rules in the pool due to someone dying after trying to jump off one of the balcony's a few years earlier but as long as you used plastic and kept the noise down to a ‘ahem' reasonable level the landlord was happy!

One of our favourite games we devised over this period was ‘Vodka Volleyball' - now I warn to most people this is going to sound either a) really boring or b) really pathetic. But throw in a group of workers and a bottle of 6.95 vodka and you would be surprised how much fun you can have....

So in brief, the rules to vodka volleyball....
  1. All participants must be topless (regardless of gender)
  2. You must avoid the shadowy end of the pool at all costs (don't want to jeopardise the tan!)
  3. Every time you hit the ball you must make a sex noise (similar to those heard when watching professional tennis) or you incur a penalty point.
  4. If you do a deliberate rubbish shot, or you are indeed just rubbish, you will incur a penalty shot.
  5. if you miss the ball then you incur a penalty shot
  6. If you incur 3 penalty shots, a shot of 6.95 vodka must be consumed in one (By shot we mean mouthful - we definitely couldn't afford to buy a shot glass!)
  7. The lucky person who gets to bagsy referee duty makes all decisions, and all decisions are final
Now this game generally went on from around 12-5 every day, so you can imagine, for those of us on the evening shift, well these were some interesting days!

Now I would upload some pictures of vodka volleyball....but I'm sure nobody really wants to see that!!
P.s should probably add, whilst this all went on I actually started working a few shifts here and there, a few selling tickets for the clubs through my old work and a few cover shifts at my old bar, now I was only a tempy didn't really matter what state I turned up to work in ;)
 
Ladies who Cala Bassa



So after a heavy week or so of constant vodka volleyball we decided that we should probably try and be a little bit more ladylike and get ourselves out of our own back yard and see a little bit of the island! So one morning we decided to get up nice and early (well 11am), grab a sandwich and our towels and head down to Cala Bassa on the water taxi. Now I'm sure most people who are regulars to Ibiza will have been numerous times but Cala Bassa is cheap and easy to get to from San Antonio (if I remember rightly around 7euros return) and a world away from the West End.

The journey over to Cala Bassa on the boat is actually quite fun. It's nice to get an idea of the geography of the island, to see the various caves and cliffs, a view which unfortunately you do not get from the inside of a bar in the West End! Before we knew it we were docking at Cala Bassa could begin. At this point I was feeling really tired. I'd only had a few hours sleep from working late last night so I decided to lay down on the sand, enjoy the background music and try and get a quick nap in. Unfortunately with it being July and 30 degrees that definitely wasn't happening! I took a stroll down to the water where the rest of my friends were chasing the tiny fishes that you can see through the crystal clear water. A childish pursuit maybe, but still quite enjoyable for a good 30 minutes or so. After a while I decided to have a lay down in the west sand with the tide washing up my legs to keep cool. It felt incredible and soon the inevitable slumber came.

I awoke 2 hours later to a mouth full of sea water, the tide had come in and rather than move me my friends had abandoned me for a shady seat at the bar with a bottle of white wine! Quite disgusted (whether this be with the mouth full of sea water or at my abandonment) I washed the sand off myself and joined them under the leafy trees. I was presented with a cold glass of wine and once again my troubles disappeared! I don't think I've mentioned Daisy before but before long we walked off to buy some chips. Dasy is one of the sweetest girls I met in Ibiza this summer, always happy, always smiling, and always up for an adventure! We settled down with the food at another table and had the usual girly gossip. Inevitably this got on to the subject of boys and she asked me what was happening with Alex, unfortunately there was nothing to report on this matter, as my calls had gone unanswered since I got back so we left that conversation right alone and decided to feed the ever growing pack of kittens surrounding us. Now I'm sure kittens in England would turn their nose up at chips covered in ketchup but these ones were so skinny and starving they were having tugs of war with one another over them. Then the parent cats came over and bossed the kittens out of the way. This is a good reminder of what a great job the charity who look spay and neuter the wild cats on the island do. There isn't enough food for the parents, never mind the ever growing brood, and unfortunately a few chips from tourists isn't going to keep them well fed all year round.

When we re-joined the other girls they were talking about Ellie. Now up until this point I had always been quite friendly with a few of the girls (Daisy ,Lucy and another girl Amy but I didn't really trust them 100% so hadn't brought up the issues with Ellie). Although as we were always in and out of each other's apartments it was probably pretty obvious. They were talking about Ellie's disagreements with Tony over cleanliness and her constant waking up of the entire flat at ridiculous times accompanied by various men. It made me feel better that obviously the girls weren't a fan of Ellie, as she was pretty much the only girl I was close to from my first season, and when they said they purposely hadn't invited her to Cala Bassa today as they wanted a peaceful day, I felt quite grateful they had made the effort to invite me.

After a while we realised it was time to get the taxi boat back to San Antonio if those of us who worked were going to make it to work that night. As we sailed away from Cala Bassa I felt a sense of sadness, it had been a great day and knowing I had an 8 hour shift of drunken fools in the West End to deal with; either way it had to be done and we all vowed we would do it again soon! When we got off the boat in San Antonio we were approached by a worker I knew who offered us free tickets to get on a boat party heading out right now. It was some new kind of boat party just launched with three large boats all full. Unfortunately half of us had work but those who didn't quickly boarded the new boat and sailed off for a 3 hour party. This is one of major bonuses of working in Ibiza, impromptu free tickets for events happens all the time, and as long as you are willing to go along with the ride you will have an amazing time!
 
Topless Balcony Party

One of the amazing things about living in Ibiza is that it really makes you fall in love with yourself. Like most people in the past I've struggled with body image, and just about everybody has those days where they wake up and look in the mirror and think ‘really this is hopeless!'; but in Ibiza these cares for me, like many other people disappear. I'm not sure what the reason behind this is, but I'd put it down to the culture between the workers, and the sense of togetherness that this breeds. It doesn't matter what you look like, how good you are with the opposite sex, how well educated you are, how much money you have or even if you live in an absolute dump. You're judged on who you are, how much fun you are to be around and your outlook on life. I think this is why days like the ‘Topless Balcony Party' happen, and it may sound like a weird drunken sexual experience to many of you who read this, when it wasn't, it's more a reflection and celebration of who you are, and how in the end the only thing that matters is you happiness.

At the end of a day at the apartment pool where a number of beers had been drunk we decided to retire to my apartment to enjoy the last hour of sunshine on the balcony. The pool lost all sunlight at around 4pm but our balconies faced the other way so we headed up to listen to some music, enjoy the sun and look out at the scenery of Mambos and the ocean beyond.

After the music started to flow and the with the sun warming our skin we decided to get some proper work done on our tans by removing our tops (now I can just imagine the eager eyes of those of you reading now, wondering what happens next, what pictures I will include at the end ;) but unfortunately this is not a teenage boys fantasy so get those images out of your mind right now!). With the biggest House tunes of the season on at full blast the balcony sunbathing turned more into a rave and soon all 5 of us girls were raving away on the balcony, much to the amusement of those passing along the street below! What we forgot in our celebration of our femininity and our worshipping of the sun gods is that our balconies faced directly into the gym, where at 5pm at night; there was quite a crowd of young men working off their frustrations. A short while later two such young men left the gym and started shouting at us from the road below and asked if they could come up to the balcony, no such harm in that, a worker's party is very much an open door policy so up they ran (and I mean ran, it took them about 2 seconds to do 2 flights, they were obviously eager!). Up at the apartment we exchanged hugs and a few kisses on the cheeks to our new friends. (It really is that easy to make friends as a worker in Ibiza!). The lads told us that in the gym everybody had been quite enjoying our party, and quite a crowd have gathered at the windows to look out at our ‘burlesque' type show. Rather than being embarrassed as I think the boys expected, us girls burst into laughter. We had had a great evening, and at the end of the day, if we put a smile on the face of a few guys watching in the gym, it was a bonus. The boys left shortly afterwards but we bumped into them over the following weeks of summer, always laughing about our first meeting. Then it was time to get showered for work. Because unfortunately, even in Ibiza, all good things do come to an end.
 
Example @ Eden

Since coming back to Ibiza I had started spending a lot more time alone with the girls in the apartments around us without Ellie and I was really starting to enjoy the close bond we had. Out of all of the girls I was closest to Daisy, Amy and Emma (Emma I didn’t see as much, as she was always sleeping when I popped in at tea time as she worked in the day as a Waitress, making just 20 euros a day for a 8 hour shift might I add, the poor lamb!). Emma and Daisy have an absolute obsession with Example, which myself and Amy really didn't understand, but as he was playing at Eden that night, and they had gotten guestlist, and I had my Eden card we decided to head down there.

Eden that night looked incredible. Those who are regulars to Ibiza will know that it's often not the busiest of clubs but it was absolutely rammed with a really good natured and excitable crowd. We found ourselves a good viewing spot at the top of the stairs from the lowered dance floor near a large plant pot just before DJ Wire came on to liven the crowd up. When it was time for Example to enter the stage, I thought half the girls in there would pass out with excitement and it really reminded me of the hysteria you see on the original Beatles recording in Studios with packs of screaming crying girls!

Example played a fairly large set of his current hits and by the end I can admit a few things that really surprised me. 1) I am now a self-confessed Example fan, 2) Example is in fact quite sexy, 3) Example's music is quite catchy and definitely something I would enjoy watching live again in the future!

We ended the night with some chips picked up on the way home and started the short 10 minute walk back to our apartment. As we approached the Subway In the middle of the West End we noticed a lad, not much older than 19-20 collapsed in piles of rubbish bags opposite. After a quick check around it become apparent he was completely alone and completely out for the count. Now in this situation a lot of people would just walk on by, but what you can say for a lot of workers in Ibiza, is that despite seeing these things days in day out, we don't become blind to it, and after all the bad things we see happen we do try to prevent anymore.

A quick check of the guy's pockets revealed 50 euros, a brand new iPhone but unfortunately no keys or any clue as to where he was staying or who to return him to when lost. I decided it would be a good idea to check who he appeared to be in Ibiza with and ring a few of the last spoken to people. It was now 4am and unfortunately his friends didn't appear to have noticed he was missing. A few girls then went in search of 24/7 Ibiza, who are a Christian group who donate their summers to looking after people who over indulge a little too much. Unfortunately we also couldn't find them so were stumped as to what to do next. One of the girls bought a bottle of water and after much poking and prodding we managed to awake the lad and get him to drink a little water. And then his phone started to ring! After directing his friends to us they arrived in quite a worried looking group. It was their first boys' holiday away and their first night on the island. They appreciated that a lot worse could have happened had we not intervened and couldn't thank us enough. They even tried to offer us money, and as extremely poor workers we could have taken it, but that wasn't why we had helped the poor lad out. After giving them directions to the taxi rank, we finally arrived home and ready for bed over an hour and a half later.
 
Hey Wednesday. Welcome back!
Really anxious to read this but I feel like I'll have to set aside some serious time thanks to the late start ?
 
Vodka Volleyball

So with work scarce over the next week things started to get very very messy! I was really enjoying living at the apartments (despite the situation with Ellie still getting on my nerves!) and spent many a day by our private pool. The pool became a bit of a hangout spot for many people in the block and most people would get out of bed, head to the supermarket joined to our block to buy a couple of cans of cider (or a bottle of 6.95 vodka depending on how drunk we planned on getting) then sunbathe and listen to music. There were quite strict rules in the pool due to someone dying after trying to jump off one of the balcony's a few years earlier but as long as you used plastic and kept the noise down to a ‘ahem' reasonable level the landlord was happy!

One of our favourite games we devised over this period was ‘Vodka Volleyball' - now I warn to most people this is going to sound either a) really boring or b) really pathetic. But throw in a group of workers and a bottle of 6.95 vodka and you would be surprised how much fun you can have....

So in brief, the rules to vodka volleyball....
  1. All participants must be topless (regardless of gender)
  2. You must avoid the shadowy end of the pool at all costs (don't want to jeopardise the tan!)
  3. Every time you hit the ball you must make a sex noise (similar to those heard when watching professional tennis) or you incur a penalty point.
  4. If you do a deliberate rubbish shot, or you are indeed just rubbish, you will incur a penalty shot.
  5. if you miss the ball then you incur a penalty shot
  6. If you incur 3 penalty shots, a shot of 6.95 vodka must be consumed in one (By shot we mean mouthful - we definitely couldn't afford to buy a shot glass!)
  7. The lucky person who gets to bagsy referee duty makes all decisions, and all decisions are final
Now this game generally went on from around 12-5 every day, so you can imagine, for those of us on the evening shift, well these were some interesting days!

Now I would upload some pictures of vodka volleyball....but I'm sure nobody really wants to see that!!
P.s should probably add, whilst this all went on I actually started working a few shifts here and there, a few selling tickets for the clubs through my old work and a few cover shifts at my old bar, now I was only a tempy didn't really matter what state I turned up to work in ;)
yes i am very intrested in vodka volleyball, how are the rules again? and of course i would also like to see the pictures please,
 
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