Sorry, sat in a boring meeting in Finland so not really picking up everything.
I must try to get out of this rut.....
Routine or Rut?
- Thread starter Morbyd
- Start date
Sorry, sat in a boring meeting in Finland so not really picking up everything.
I must try to get out of this rut.....
Morbyd
Moderator
I fully subscribe to this, which is why I don't have kids yet. I know I'll want to focus all my attention on them. I firmly believe I'll be a great dad. I'm just not ready to be him yet as I'm not done focusing on myself
You're one to talk, Mr AdventureI-Spy said:
But good point. My routine is anything but normal. I should be happy in it and, at times, I am. Usually happiest drunk on a dancefloor at 5am on a weekend.
or when I've won some small victory at work.I used my routine as an example above but I was really just asking a general question to start this discussion. I don't think I'm in a rut... most of the time... although I do wish I'd get myself doing things besides a) work, b) cooking, c) staring at my computer (includes reading and/or watching downloaded TV) and d) partying.
The only thing holding me back from making drastic changes in my life (which I don't necessarily need but occasionally want to do anyway) are a) the need to support the missus (who's not really making money in her new career yet) and b) a desire to keep my meager but hard-won savings.
I fully subscribe to this, which is why I don't have kids yet. I know I'll want to focus all my attention on them. I firmly believe I'll be a great dad. I'm just not ready to be him yet as I'm not done focusing on myself
pretty much as I guessed which is why I said it..........word to the wise though..............too much partying can be detramental to the quality of lead in ones pencil
Everybody has the power and freedom to do whatever they want in life as long as it doesn't come from their ego. (i.e. I want to be a millionaire for the sake of it.)
I wasn't accusing anyone who enjoys their current circumstances of being in that 80+%...if you enjoy being in your 'box' then you're clearly not!
It's for each individual to define that personal freedom means ain't it? If that's being part of the system and it works for you then you're winning!
Personallylol I think our world is far too caught up in modern thinking which is based on giving power away at every available opportunity (usually to a God or a government).
If we look outside of ourselves for benchmarks then we end up comparing ourselves to an ever changing 'norm' set by someone else's truth. This gives rise to low self esteem and a nation of basket cases - which is what we essentially are...though we all put on a million masks to strive to be seen as ok*.
* Though again, feel free to jump in and say, 'I'm absolutely fine and it's you who needs to do some soul searching'.
Western culture ain't all that...
The Dalai Lama once asked a group of psychotherapists about the main reason why people feel the need to see them.
The over ruling answer was - 'low self esteem'...to which he replied, 'What's that?'
Basically, low self esteem doesn't exist in some cultures - it's an illusion held by those that believe in the concept that one self important human is actually any different to another.
We all $hit, pi$$ and die, we came from the same thing and we'll go back to the same thing.
Too much effort is spent looking at outward appearances and trying to impress when what's really needed is a bit of introspection, honesty and care (for ourselves and the environment).
...I'll now assume my position in the stocks so you can all throw tomatoes at me.
I wasn't accusing anyone who enjoys their current circumstances of being in that 80+%...if you enjoy being in your 'box' then you're clearly not!
It's for each individual to define that personal freedom means ain't it? If that's being part of the system and it works for you then you're winning!
Personally
lol I think our world is far too caught up in modern thinking which is based on giving power away at every available opportunity (usually to a God or a government).If we look outside of ourselves for benchmarks then we end up comparing ourselves to an ever changing 'norm' set by someone else's truth. This gives rise to low self esteem and a nation of basket cases - which is what we essentially are...though we all put on a million masks to strive to be seen as ok*.
* Though again, feel free to jump in and say, 'I'm absolutely fine and it's you who needs to do some soul searching'.
Western culture ain't all that...
The Dalai Lama once asked a group of psychotherapists about the main reason why people feel the need to see them.
The over ruling answer was - 'low self esteem'...to which he replied, 'What's that?'
Basically, low self esteem doesn't exist in some cultures - it's an illusion held by those that believe in the concept that one self important human is actually any different to another.
We all $hit, pi$$ and die, we came from the same thing and we'll go back to the same thing.
Too much effort is spent looking at outward appearances and trying to impress when what's really needed is a bit of introspection, honesty and care (for ourselves and the environment).
...I'll now assume my position in the stocks so you can all throw tomatoes at me.
I think today in our relatively affluent society we are presented with so much choice in comparison to past times, sometimes it is difficult to make the right choice of direction or be happy and content with the path chosen.
In the western world...we can be pretty much what we want to be as long as we commit ourselves to that goal.
In third world countries and in years past that isn't and wasn't so, it depended on how lucky you were when being born.
Now...we all have friends who are doing something different to us, but it is very easy to only look at the positive aspects of other peoples lives and ignore the downsides.
Unless you are Olly of course...whose life by the sounds of it is much worse than any body elses
In the western world...we can be pretty much what we want to be as long as we commit ourselves to that goal.
In third world countries and in years past that isn't and wasn't so, it depended on how lucky you were when being born.
Now...we all have friends who are doing something different to us, but it is very easy to only look at the positive aspects of other peoples lives and ignore the downsides.
Unless you are Olly of course...whose life by the sounds of it is much worse than any body elses
Morbyd
Moderator
I kind of agree with you, Rob. Kind of not
I'm not big into materialism, except for things that bring me joy (translation: gadgets) But we can't do absolutely anything we want in life... to live in certain places, where we might enjoy living, requires adherence to certain norms in order to get by. We work to make money to eat and house ourselves so that we can live in a certain society (city, town, country).
I believe the antidote to the need for religion is a simple belief in one's self. Low self esteem comes from looking too much outward and not enough inward.
You forgot one thing that limits personal freedom, aside from god and government: family (translation: spouse). No less voluntary a limitation, but no less important.
Thoroughly agree with the concept that we are all, at the end of the day, just human. An animal that has evolved enough to be smart enough to build big things and foolish enough to believe that makes us somehow different from other animals.
I'm not big into materialism, except for things that bring me joy (translation: gadgets
) But we can't do absolutely anything we want in life... to live in certain places, where we might enjoy living, requires adherence to certain norms in order to get by. We work to make money to eat and house ourselves so that we can live in a certain society (city, town, country). I believe the antidote to the need for religion is a simple belief in one's self. Low self esteem comes from looking too much outward and not enough inward.
You forgot one thing that limits personal freedom, aside from god and government: family (translation: spouse
). No less voluntary a limitation, but no less important.Thoroughly agree with the concept that we are all, at the end of the day, just human. An animal that has evolved enough to be smart enough to build big things and foolish enough to believe that makes us somehow different from other animals.
Everybody has the power and freedom to do whatever they want in life as long as it doesn't come from their ego. (i.e. I want to be a millionaire for the sake of it.)
I wasn't accusing anyone who enjoys their current circumstances of being in that 80+%...if you enjoy being in your 'box' then you're clearly not!
It's for each individual to define that personal freedom means ain't it? If that's being part of the system and it works for you then you're winning!
Personally
If we look outside of ourselves for benchmarks then we end up comparing ourselves to an ever changing 'norm' set by someone else's truth. This gives rise to low self esteem and a nation of basket cases - which is what we essentially are...though we all put on a million masks to strive to be seen as ok*.
* Though again, feel free to jump in and say, 'I'm absolutely fine and it's you who needs to do some soul searching'.
Western culture ain't all that...
The Dalai Lama once asked a group of psychotherapists about the main reason why people feel the need to see them.
The over ruling answer was - 'low self esteem'...to which he replied, 'What's that?'
Basically, low self esteem doesn't exist in some cultures - it's an illusion held by those that believe in the concept that one self important human is actually any different to another.
We all $hit, pi$$ and die, we came from the same thing and we'll go back to the same thing.
Too much effort is spent looking at outward appearances and trying to impress when what's really needed is a bit of introspection, honesty and care (for ourselves and the environment).
...I'll now assume my position in the stocks so you can all throw tomatoes at me.
What that guy said^^^^^^^^^^
basically dont wallow in your own self importance.
Buckley
Well-Known Member
Accrington Stanley!
Morbyd
Moderator
Thanks for making me google the relevance of that team to the conversation
Yes but we all do! (including myself)
It's all about staying in the present, finding a way to check in regularly, remembering your connection with the planet (+ all things on it) and keeping a sense of humour.
Rationality is a God (based on 'shoulds' and other people's truths)
Capitalism is a God.
To not believe is also belief.
Belief is bull$hit. Experience is real.
The authentic 'truth' is that thing that happens when all the trimmings are taken away - material stuff, houses, friends, clothes, music tastes blah blah - in that dark space, if you find a person with integrity then you're doing alright.
Enough deep and meaningfuls now. *belch*
(including myself)It's all about staying in the present, finding a way to check in regularly, remembering your connection with the planet (+ all things on it) and keeping a sense of humour.
Rationality is a God (based on 'shoulds' and other people's truths)
Capitalism is a God.
To not believe is also belief.
Belief is bull$hit. Experience is real.
The authentic 'truth' is that thing that happens when all the trimmings are taken away - material stuff, houses, friends, clothes, music tastes blah blah - in that dark space, if you find a person with integrity then you're doing alright.
Enough deep and meaningfuls now. *belch*
Lots of good food for thought on here, a bit of a "how happy are you" survey.
Been thinking a lot about this lately, but haven't got any real answers.
I suppose a rut is your routine on a bad day.
But in general some of my personal rules on happiness:
Suck it up: hide your problems deep, deep down. No one really wants to share them with you. Suffer in silence. stop ruining a good night out with your ****e.
Don't be boring: even if everyone hates you for your funny ways.
Put yourself first: crush those who oppose you, gain power and then from aposition of strength decide who you want to help. it will feel good and make you look like the top boy.
Money is not important: especially if you want to wear cheap **** clothes, use the bus all the time, not go on holiday and live in a crime ridden scary ****hole with only the Tv for company (probably not even with freeview- just the basic telly).
Remember you're not important: but remember that at least you are better than everyone else.
Surround yourself with friends more interesting, intelligent, stylish, affluent, and kinder than you. Then slowly and cleverly find their weaknesses and wear them down bit by bit until they hate themselves. You will feel better than them and therefore you will be the winner.
Been thinking a lot about this lately, but haven't got any real answers.
I suppose a rut is your routine on a bad day.
But in general some of my personal rules on happiness:
Suck it up: hide your problems deep, deep down. No one really wants to share them with you. Suffer in silence. stop ruining a good night out with your ****e.
Don't be boring: even if everyone hates you for your funny ways.
Put yourself first: crush those who oppose you, gain power and then from aposition of strength decide who you want to help. it will feel good and make you look like the top boy.
Money is not important: especially if you want to wear cheap **** clothes, use the bus all the time, not go on holiday and live in a crime ridden scary ****hole with only the Tv for company (probably not even with freeview- just the basic telly).
Remember you're not important: but remember that at least you are better than everyone else.
Surround yourself with friends more interesting, intelligent, stylish, affluent, and kinder than you. Then slowly and cleverly find their weaknesses and wear them down bit by bit until they hate themselves. You will feel better than them and therefore you will be the winner.
i'm like mr i spy. did a few years in an office and that was enough.
my dream was to live in ibiza and i've done it already, rather than doing the career thing and eventually getting to 50 and perhaps having enough for a holiday home.
the grass is always greener. i read your weekend plans every week morbs and wish i had 10% of the plans you had.
that said, like buckers points out, you can get in a rut of your leisure time too.
knowing you the little bit i do, i reckon you already know the personal answers to the whatever it is sparked the question, but no harm in getting others' thoughts
btw, kids are the ultimate thrill/unbearable routine double whammy
my dream was to live in ibiza and i've done it already, rather than doing the career thing and eventually getting to 50 and perhaps having enough for a holiday home.
the grass is always greener. i read your weekend plans every week morbs and wish i had 10% of the plans you had.
that said, like buckers points out, you can get in a rut of your leisure time too.
knowing you the little bit i do, i reckon you already know the personal answers to the whatever it is sparked the question, but no harm in getting others' thoughts
btw, kids are the ultimate thrill/unbearable routine double whammy
Last edited by a moderator:
Of course my earlier post was tongue in cheek (well most of it
). With regards to routine, I agree with Grego, if you want to mix things up have kids.
Five minutes calm for a cup of tea seems like an hour in bed, and a night out with friends seems like a week in Ibiza in terms of anticipation and excitement.
You will wonder what you did with your time!
Beckiboo
Active Member
Are you for real?! or is this a joke?
You really live your life like this?hide your problems deep, deep down.
crush those who oppose you, gain power and then from aposition of strength decide who you want to help. it will feel good and make you look like the top boy.
remember that at least you are better than everyone else.
slowly and cleverly find their weaknesses and wear them down bit by bit until they hate themselves. You will feel better than them and therefore you will be the winner
Beckiboo
Active Member
Oh yes forgot to answer the question.... My remedy for not getting into routine/rut is thus follows:
Always have something to look forward to. Keep planning! Rut only happens when you do the same thing again and again. That's why I love booking holidays, planning nights out etc. Currently I'm reeeeally looking forward to the Christmas period, New Year, and then a holiday the first week of Jan woohoo!
Never stop learning - your brain gets bored when it's not learning new things. I'm currently studying for my accounts exams, which although sometimes bore me to tears, the challenge of studying, revising and pressure to pass exams never makes life dull during this period! It certainly keeps me on my toes.
Broaden your horizons - do things you never thought you'd do! For me, that's travelling. I love seeing new places and experiencing new cultures. I'm not one to ever do a 5* sitting on a beach holiday getting a tan, I want to get out there for a bit of an adventure! By doing things out of your comfort zone, the reward once done is far greater than if you'd stuck to the safe option!
Oh and my advice for happiness:
Don't take yourself too seriously! Life is far too short to worry about getting one up on people, or how people perceive you, or wish for things you don't have. You've gotta learn to be happy with yourself first and foremost, then everything else will fall into place
Always have something to look forward to. Keep planning! Rut only happens when you do the same thing again and again. That's why I love booking holidays, planning nights out etc. Currently I'm reeeeally looking forward to the Christmas period, New Year, and then a holiday the first week of Jan woohoo!
Never stop learning - your brain gets bored when it's not learning new things. I'm currently studying for my accounts exams, which although sometimes bore me to tears, the challenge of studying, revising and pressure to pass exams never makes life dull during this period! It certainly keeps me on my toes.
Broaden your horizons - do things you never thought you'd do! For me, that's travelling. I love seeing new places and experiencing new cultures. I'm not one to ever do a 5* sitting on a beach holiday getting a tan, I want to get out there for a bit of an adventure! By doing things out of your comfort zone, the reward once done is far greater than if you'd stuck to the safe option!
Oh and my advice for happiness:
Don't take yourself too seriously! Life is far too short to worry about getting one up on people, or how people perceive you, or wish for things you don't have. You've gotta learn to be happy with yourself first and foremost, then everything else will fall into place
Oh and my advice for happiness:
You've gotta learn to be happy with yourself first and foremost, then everything else will fall into place
Good Advise.