Does anyone else not want kids?

soha said:
aye, and youd be surprised at how much you can grow up in a short space of time. i would of just been like anyone else couldnt have imagined myself with a child so young but now that it happend i couldnt imagine me without one.
And i still get to go out and on hols all the time (back to ibiza next week).
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By far the best reply for this thread upto now for i know what you mean given i've got three grown up's along with two teenage grandchildren and guess what? Despite being a father and family guy i still enjoy my solo hol's away from such family surroundings for recharging the batteries. Next month i'll be alone on the White Isle:cry: for a week but will be in Malta for a family vacation a week after i've returned home.:) I must be fortunate in that my family trust me when on vacation alone, especially to Ibiza:lol: so bring it on girl's if any of you are single and you're aged around 18 - 35 and up for showing an old timer (mid 50'ish) what it's like to still be young on Ibiza :D then just turn up on the Island with your bulging purse.
 
I've never had any desire for a child - I've been with Tom for over 12 years and it's just never been on either of our agenda for various reasons:

- I love our life how it is and I don't want anything changing it
- There's so many things we want to do in our life and children just don't fit into it
- If the truth be told I do find a lot of children quite annoying :oops::lol: - give me a dog over a baby any day of the week ;)
- I have the odd little person in my life (friend's children and I am Number 1 Auntie/Fairy Godmother to my sister's almost 2 year old and she has another one popping out in a couple of weeks8O) and I enjoy that role, but one full time for the next 16 years?! No thanks!

That said, I can how much happiness a little person can bring to people, it's just not for us.

But following on from Robder's point about over-population, if I had ever had a maternal urge for a child (I don't think it's going to happen now at my age :lol:) then I would have adopted/fostered. Imo there are so many children out there without a loving home/family that I would have preferred to help them and give one of them a loving family rather than add to the world's population.
 
Well Im really going to set the cat among the pigeons now. !!!!
Ive got 5 biological children and a stepdaughter, and any of my friends would tell you Im a VERY maternal person, to the extent that when my husband now, and I got together we had 15 miscarriages, yes 15 !!! before I decided enough was enough,
I decided that I was lucky enough to have my kids from a previous marriage,and hubby had a child from a previous marriage, but to have 1 together would of been amazing for us,we,ve been together 16 years,
but we have 16 grandkids now, and they are OUR grandkids not mine or his,and we get to spoil them outrageously, :D:D
But I do agree with the comments that to have children, you MUST be able to afford them, I,ve always worked,as has my ex husband as well as my present husband
We always managed to spend a couple of nights away when its our anniversary, and now kids have all left home,our anniversary is normally 2 weeks in Ibiza, :D:D:D:D
but to be fair we have a few short breaks away during the year as well,and we take grandkids on some of them, we take 1 family of grandkids at a time,so their parents get time to be a couple for a few days, not just mum and dad, we know how important it is to not lose your identity just because youve decided to have children,
and as for being a parent for a few years, my theory is that when you decide to be a parent, youre a parent till the day they nail down your lid, until that day you have a responsibilty to make your kids/ grandkids as happy as possible
 
Sounds like you are a responsible parent and have provided your kids with a proper stable loving home with the means to support them. If they go on to become happy and stable parents themselves then that's a job well done.

I will happily stand aside and let people like you do the breeding whilst I abstain (unless all the conditions are right).

The real problem is that for every story like yours there are a great many others which do not have the same happy journeys (or endings), from every class of society.. the sheer numbers of children born into those circumstances is a great concern.
 
I would agree with you, Im not by any stretch of the imagination a perfect parent, but I just try to do my best, :)
I agree there are a lot of children,who have to do without the basic ingredients, to become well mannered, well behaved children/adults, but if I was young now, ie aged about 22yrs old I would have to seriously consider whether Britain would be a good place to bring up children, it gives me enough nightmares thinking about whats infront of my grandkids,
So to the people who DONT want children,and decide not to have them because of that, and refuse to bend to pressure, thats also a VERY responsible attitude to take, so sorry,but everyone on this thread is obviously a GROWN UP, no matter how much you want to pretend your still 18 yrs old, :D:D:D:lol::lol::lol:
but seriously, whether to or not to have children, is very much a personal choice, and no-one should ever be put under pressure to change their mind,as sometimes if someone is pressured/tricks into having children, it could lead to the child being resented, which also would be very unfair,
To be fair when I decided to leave the cheating lowlife, oops sorry I meant ex husband, life was VERY hard, I juggled childcare with friends who also worked,but different shifts to mine, and we all looked after one anothers children, so childcare costs were minimal,but it was still VERY difficult, I used to put toys away in toy shops in June, and pay for them gradually, until December, so my kids didnt get less than their friends,and the toy shops didnt run out by the time Id saved up the money. they had a couple of short breaks. Mon/Friday, during the year, at Butlins, which they loved, but I dont think Im anything except a normal mum, who tried to do her best.
 
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heatherp6 said:
I dont think Im anything except a normal mum, who tried to do her best.
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Well, I don't know you Heather, but your kids are clearly lucky to have you as their mum by the sounds of it and I hope they treasure their time with you and the love you clearly have for them. :) I owe my own mum a great deal - more than I could ever repay in a lifetime, but I have come to realize that there is no payback required when people give out of love. It is sufficient to acknowledge freely and receive gratefully - that, I believe, is the right response.
 
heatherp6 said:
I would agree with you, Im not by any stretch of the imagination a perfect parent, but I just try to do my best, :)
I agree there are a lot of children,who have to do without the basic ingredients, to become well mannered, well behaved children/adults, but if I was young now, ie aged about 22yrs old I would have to seriously consider whether Britain would be a good place to bring up children, it gives me enough nightmares thinking about whats infront of my grandkids,
So to the people who DONT want children,and decide not to have them because of that, and refuse to bend to pressure, thats also a VERY responsible attitude to take, so sorry,but everyone on this thread is obviously a GROWN UP, no matter how much you want to pretend your still 18 yrs old, :D:D:D:lol::lol::lol:
but seriously, whether to or not to have children, is very much a personal choice, and no-one should ever be put under pressure to change their mind,as sometimes if someone is pressured/tricks into having children, it could lead to the child being resented, which also would be very unfair,
To be fair when I decided to leave the cheating lowlife, oops sorry I meant ex husband, life was VERY hard, I juggled childcare with friends who also worked,but different shifts to mine, and we all looked after one anothers children, so childcare costs were minimal,but it was still VERY difficult, I used to put toys away in toy shops in June, and pay for them gradually, until December, so my kids didnt get less than their friends,and the toy shops didnt run out by the time Id saved up the money. they had a couple of short breaks. Mon/Friday, during the year, at Butlins, which they loved, but I dont think Im anything except a normal mum, who tried to do her best.
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I agree with both of your posts. You can only try to be the best parent that you can be.
 
Don't bring up this subject around me when in Ibiza. Otherwise you will get a 6 hour lecture on how wonderful children and how being a parent is amazing etc etc. Not fun for anyone.

Long story short - didn't want children, had one accidently, she became the reason for living, six miscarriages later no more children, strong desire to go on about the importance of children when drunk.
 
Ahhh Phil thats touching :)

Good thread....quickly got to 3 pages so havent read all the posts...

Personally...i cannot wait to have bubbies, to me - its a big main part of life - REPRODUCTION :D

I would love for twins - two birds, one stone n all that ;)
The only thing i am not looking forward to is the pregnancy ruining my body :( i know thats selfish but i train hard to keep this figure and its easily gona be ruined :spank:

My mum has 6 babies, why? is beyond me as she hates us all and the feeling is mutual :evil:

I love all my siblings and cannot wait for all my nieces n nephews to come along....

I just best make sure both my partner and i win the lottery or something coz its gona be an expensive future :lol:
 
xxVic-zeexx said:
Ahhh Phil thats touching :)

Good thread....quickly got to 3 pages so havent read all the posts...

Personally...i cannot wait to have bubbies, to me - its a big main part of life - REPRODUCTION :D

I would love for twins - two birds, one stone n all that ;)
The only thing i am not looking forward to is the pregnancy ruining my body :( i know thats selfish but i train hard to keep this figure and its easily gona be ruined :spank:

My mum has 6 babies, why? is beyond me as she hates us all and the feeling is mutual :evil:

I love all my siblings and cannot wait for all my nieces n nephews to come along....

I just best make sure both my partner and i win the lottery or something coz its gona be an expensive future :lol:
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I think its so lovely when you see siblings that are really close or quite a lot of them and they are all so close - me and my sis have a 6 year age gap so it hasnt always been easy but we are getting closer the older we get
 
Emma_1983 said:
I think its so lovely when you see siblings that are really close or quite a lot of them and they are all so close - me and my sis have a 6 year age gap so it hasnt always been easy but we are getting closer the older we get
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I have a half brother and sister who are probably heading towards their early 40's now i would of said and probably have kids themselves....we jst dont know - i blame my mother for being a f**kin cow and them wanting her out of their lives and tbh i dont blame them :roll:

Then she had 2 sons and 2 girls :D all with a few years difference in between and we all get on big time to the point both my sister and i would go out on the piss with my oldest bro...until he got banged up....twice :lol:

Got one niece already so i wonder which one of us is next hehe
 
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