A new benchmark

[kimajy]

Been saving up all the recent reviews for the colder months ... and really enjoyed reading this one. Have to admit I was laughing out loud at your nicking and winding up binning the wraps after fleeing the cab. A certain well-known DJ hid his unused stash in the airport parking lot on his way off the island earlier last year ... then announced on FB where to find it . Needless to say it had been picked up within the hour !

I think Ibiza changed me, or helped me realise that I've changed. I used to like the fact that my girlfriend had no interest in the music, or Ibiza, or staying out till 7am getting off her head. It meant I could fly off and have fun with my mates. Now I feel like if I'm going to be with someone, I should be with someone who will not only put up with it, but encourage it and get involved.

It's very hard coming back to people who don't 'get' what you're doing and can't understand it. I never used to tell anyone when I went to or had been to the island. Given the frequency of my trips over the years it's been quite an accomplishment (of sorts) keeping it all under wraps for so long. At 38 I finally decided it was time to own up after my last trip.

Immediately led to one break-up (inevitable), a massive load of grief from the other one (still, some embers might be kindled but don't know if I can be bothered now - she'll never be someone I want around in Ibiza). Similar feelings to yours above - they both knew about each other btw so I wasn't concealing anything there. The biggest load of grief ever from the family (more women !), who are convinced I "cannot be trusted at all" (perhaps they are right ) and have even less 'understanding' (as I knew all along !).

Actually been on the verge of jacking everything in, bug*ering off to the Tropics for 6 months to fish for my dinner and leaving them all to it since I came back .. but that would be running away . So onwards and upwards ... a shyte Winter of music-facing is predicted ... and 2013 is another year 8).

So it looks like my next trip will be my first to Ibiza as a single lad, and maybe my next Ibiza story will have a different outcome. Space Opening Fiesta is firmly in my sights...

8) ... hope you find someone you click with and can share the aspects of your life so many of us wind up keeping to ourselves. Otherwise, there are always plenty of like-minded souls ricocheting around the island of a Season to share with instead .

 

[TM78]

Been saving up all the recent reviews for the colder months ... and really enjoyed reading this one. Have to admit I was laughing out loud at your nicking and winding up binning the wraps after fleeing the cab. A certain well-known DJ hid his unused stash in the airport parking lot on his way off the island earlier last year ... then announced on FB where to find it . Needless to say it had been picked up within the hour !


Originally Posted by Jack87
I think Ibiza changed me, or helped me realise that I've changed. I used to like the fact that my girlfriend had no interest in the music, or Ibiza, or staying out till 7am getting off her head. It meant I could fly off and have fun with my mates. Now I feel like if I'm going to be with someone, I should be with someone who will not only put up with it, but encourage it and get involved.




It's very hard coming back to people who don't 'get' what you're doing and can't understand it. I never used to tell anyone when I went to or had been to the island. Given the frequency of my trips over the years it's been quite an accomplishment (of sorts) keeping it all under wraps for so long. At 38 I finally decided it was time to own up after my last trip.

Immediately led to one break-up (inevitable), a massive load of grief from the other one (still, some embers might be kindled but don't know if I can be bothered now - she'll never be someone I want around in Ibiza). Similar feelings to yours above - they both knew about each other btw so I wasn't concealing anything there. The biggest load of grief ever from the family (more women !), who are convinced I "cannot be trusted at all" (perhaps they are right ) and have even less 'understanding' (as I knew all along !).

Actually been on the verge of jacking everything in, bug*ering off to the Tropics for 6 months to fish for my dinner and leaving them all to it since I came back .. but that would be running away . So onwards and upwards ... a shyte Winter of music-facing is predicted ... and 2013 is another year 8).

Originally Posted by Jack87
So it looks like my next trip will be my first to Ibiza as a single lad, and maybe my next Ibiza story will have a different outcome. Space Opening Fiesta is firmly in my sights...


8) ... hope you find someone you click with and can share the aspects of your life so many of us wind up keeping to ourselves. Otherwise, there are always plenty of like-minded souls ricocheting around the island of a Season to share with instead .

ahh, the old...lifestyle vs finding a partner that fits with it....hmm...

what i would say, is that jack87 (your 25?...your more likely to find someone around your age whose still into partying every week in the uk than us old 30 somethings..time is on your side, and i wouldn't worry about it....and as you get older, you might not feel the same about the music/clubbign as you once did anyway...thats not condescending, thats just life...things change...people do get tired, they want to settle down, they want to do the kids/mortgage/career/ & family pet thing, they want to be normal & happy...

from my experience there are very few ladies who still wish to spend friday/saturday nights in clubs doing pills and dancing wildly to electronic music like they did when they were in their teens/20's..., those that are, are usually married to guys who have been living that lifetyle since their teens with them, or they might just be headcases (& im sure those single ladies of a certain age, who are still out partying, would probably say the exact same thing about the guys...)

do people find lasting love in ibiza?..having been only once i couldn't say, im sure some have, but it would seem a very artificial environment..with people set up really to go wild for a week/2 weeks....do people who go to ibiza for a week/2 weeks go clubbing every week in the uk?...the percentage i think is very age dependent as you go up the wrinkly scale

good luck in your partner search though.
be happy mate.

 

[Johnny Vodka]

Nothing to stop us 30 somethings who still enjoy clubbing from attempting to pick up 20 somethings! Ibiza/clubs aren't really the best places to try, perhaps, even though part of 'the dream' may be meeting some hot soulmate. Even though I feel good on pills, there's something not quite right about the headspace when it comes to trying to pull. I've often thought "she looks interested", only to add "but I could be tripping". Then sometimes you're too satisfied with the buzz/music to bother making much effort with people. Then if you do try talking to someone, it's all too easy to forget what you're saying, become distracted, talk no end of sh!te, etc.

 

[Colonel Kurtz]

Been saving up all the recent reviews for the colder months ... and really enjoyed reading this one. Have to admit I was laughing out loud at your nicking and winding up binning the wraps after fleeing the cab. A certain well-known DJ hid his unused stash in the airport parking lot on his way off the island earlier last year ... then announced on FB where to find it . Needless to say it had been picked up within the hour !



It's very hard coming back to people who don't 'get' what you're doing and can't understand it. I never used to tell anyone when I went to or had been to the island. Given the frequency of my trips over the years it's been quite an accomplishment (of sorts) keeping it all under wraps for so long. At 38 I finally decided it was time to own up after my last trip.

Immediately led to one break-up (inevitable), a massive load of grief from the other one (still, some embers might be kindled but don't know if I can be bothered now - she'll never be someone I want around in Ibiza). Similar feelings to yours above - they both knew about each other btw so I wasn't concealing anything there. The biggest load of grief ever from the family (more women !), who are convinced I "cannot be trusted at all" (perhaps they are right ) and have even less 'understanding' (as I knew all along !).

Actually been on the verge of jacking everything in, bug*ering off to the Tropics for 6 months to fish for my dinner and leaving them all to it since I came back .. but that would be running away . So onwards and upwards ... a shyte Winter of music-facing is predicted ... and 2013 is another year 8).



8) ... hope you find someone you click with and can share the aspects of your life so many of us wind up keeping to ourselves. Otherwise, there are always plenty of like-minded souls ricocheting around the island of a Season to share with instead .

Well best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

 

[Jack87]

ahh, the old...lifestyle vs finding a partner that fits with it....hmm...

what i would say, is that jack87 (your 25?...your more likely to find someone around your age whose still into partying every week in the uk than us old 30 somethings..time is on your side, and i wouldn't worry about it....and as you get older, you might not feel the same about the music/clubbign as you once did anyway...thats not condescending, thats just life...things change...people do get tired, they want to settle down, they want to do the kids/mortgage/career/ & family pet thing, they want to be normal & happy...

from my experience there are very few ladies who still wish to spend friday/saturday nights in clubs doing pills and dancing wildly to electronic music like they did when they were in their teens/20's..., those that are, are usually married to guys who have been living that lifetyle since their teens with them, or they might just be headcases (& im sure those single ladies of a certain age, who are still out partying, would probably say the exact same thing about the guys...)

do people find lasting love in ibiza?..having been only once i couldn't say, im sure some have, but it would seem a very artificial environment..with people set up really to go wild for a week/2 weeks....do people who go to ibiza for a week/2 weeks go clubbing every week in the uk?...the percentage i think is very age dependent as you go up the wrinkly scale

good luck in your partner search though.
be happy mate.

Thanks mate, beginning to question why I've put so much of my personal life and feelings on a forum, but I suppose it is a fountain of knowledge and source of unlimited useful advice.

Bolloks to it, it's not like any of you know me anyway! Yea I'm 25 and (somehow) ended up in a relationship for nearly 9 years. Ridiculous. No immediate rush to find someone new, I'm really looking forward to setting myself up in a new flat in town on my own, and doing as I please for a while. That said, you can't help when you meet someone that you really fall for, so I'm just being open minded.

I might have given the impression that I'm always out partying, but it's actually quite rare for me. Got a career and I'm saving to buy a place, I just like to have a big blow out every now and then. I tend to only do drugs 4 or 5 times a year - Ibiza, festivals, and on rare trips to Manchester for a messy weekend. The rest of the time I'm working (a lot), saving (not enough), and go to football at the weekends, and when we do have a local night out it's fairly low key as there's not a whole lot going on in our part of the world. The music scene in Southampton isn't great and Portsmouth in general is worth avoiding!

I'm sure plenty of people have found love in Ibiza, but it's all about enjoying the music for me. It's not hard to meet people who are totally on your level out there, but as you said it's not the real world and people are likely to be very different in normal life. I guess the idea is finding someone you've got a lot of common ground with and going from there.

 

[wednesday23]

From a girls point of view its just as hard the opposite way round! Few guys in their mid twenties plus want a girlfriend who just wants to rave every weekend and live the kind of life where every person you meet is an amazing new friend to explore...

 

[Johnny Vodka]

From a girls point of view its just as hard the opposite way round! Few guys in their mid twenties plus want a girlfriend who just wants to rave every weekend and live the kind of life where every person you meet is an amazing new friend to explore...

That might depend on what you mean by "explore".

 

[TM78]

From a girls point of view its just as hard the opposite way round! Few guys in their mid twenties plus want a girlfriend who just wants to rave every weekend and live the kind of life where every person you meet is an amazing new friend to explore...

well if your out raving, whose going to do the dishes, ironing and cleaning????

i'm joking...i'm sure you can manage your time to do both

i do acknowledge that women also have to overcome the problem that them just making conversation/being friendly versus the male ego that the girl is in fact interested in something more...also throw in the mixture of jealousy/possessiveness of a boyfriend (which might not come direct, but build up through group pressure in relation to how his circle of friends/family react to the girl's lfiestyle.......'tis very tricky.

also sadly for women, having to be safety/security conscious of situations/people, getting in certain states, company...sadly not veryone is a nice guy

 

[wednesday23]

I'm talking more about my own personal experience of this summer...

I was 'seeing someone' before I went away, they've even done the whole ibiza and travelling experience themselves, but after a while he stopped calling, responding to texts, he admitted he found it difficult that whenever we spoke I could talk for hours about all the cool stuff i've been doing when he had just been workin hard at his career, which he loves, but in the end it makes things difficult.

Then all he guys I meet in England think I'm mental because I want to go and rave in Ibiza everyday for 5 months of the year. At the end of the day i've failed to find any guy over the last few years who deep down doesn't just want a nice girl to settle down to keep up appearances to his family and friends (even if he is still the type that wants to keep on raving!)

That makes me sound love sick actually! I'm not at all, I actually enjoy being single but I could foresee it being a problem in the future, the family have already started making jokes about 'what' rather than 'who' will be my date to my sisters wedding next year!

 

[TM78]

eek, the singles table at a wedding awaits!!...i've had that twice this year

just dont start getting cats...thats when you should start to worry

although perhaps it is time for the Spinster tag to get a 21st century rebrand.

 

[Ikoda]

Well, if you do struggle to find anyone... haha.

I've always found it hard to find a girl, as I'd like to meet someone who atleast likes the kind of music I like, as it's such a big part of my life, and wants to come with me to the raves I go to both here and in Ibiza.

 

[Jack87]

Then all he guys I meet in England think I'm mental because I want to go and rave in Ibiza everyday for 5 months of the year. At the end of the day i've failed to find any guy over the last few years who deep down doesn't just want a nice girl to settle down to keep up appearances to his family and friends (even if he is still the type that wants to keep on raving!)

That makes me sound love sick actually! I'm not at all, I actually enjoy being single but I could foresee it being a problem in the future, the family have already started making jokes about 'what' rather than 'who' will be my date to my sisters wedding next year!

It's always going to be hard to find commitment if you're always planning the following summer abroad. It's hard enough convincing someone that you're going to be faithful during a week in Ibiza, let alone a season!

And obviously it's tough to build a meaningful relationship in the few months between summers in Ibiza. Even if you got with someone now, it's only 7 months till you're potentially away for another 5 months, which would most likely be far too long for a new relationship to handle.

 

[Jack87]

eek, the singles table at a wedding awaits!!...i've had that twice this year

Cheers TM, that's the first time I've even thought about the 2 weddings that myself and the ex will both be at next year! I'd better be on top form at both of those.

 

[TM78]

Cheers TM, that's the first time I've even thought about the 2 weddings that myself and the ex will both be at next year! I'd better be on top form at both of those.

...im still gutted about the timing of the weddings i had...meant i missed Soanr and the opening sarturday at Warehouse Project....some people have no respect for the dance music calendar!!


good weddings though.

 

[Jack87]

...im still gutted about the timing of the weddings i had...meant i missed Soanr and the opening sarturday at Warehouse Project....some people have no respect for the dance music calendar!!


good weddings though.

I feel your pain. Had 5 weddings this year, and went to zero festivals as a result, for the first time since '07.

We were looking at Sonar - Wedding. Then Global Gathering as the lineup was ace this year - Wedding. Then the ex's best mate booked her wedding for the Friday of August BH weekend, which I was fuming about as it's traditionally a festival weekend. Probably got a bit lucky with that one, as we would've trekked up to Creamfields and got wet.

 

[Ikoda]

I feel your pain. Had 5 weddings this year, and went to zero festivals as a result, for the first time since '07.

We were looking at Sonar - Wedding. Then Global Gathering as the lineup was ace this year - Wedding. Then the ex's best mate booked her wedding for the Friday of August BH weekend, which I was fuming about as it's traditionally a festival weekend. Probably got a bit lucky with that one, as we would've trekked up to Creamfields and got wet.

Consider the bullet dodged with Creamfields, I think.

 

[kimajy]

Yea I'm 25 and (somehow) ended up in a relationship for nearly 9 years. Ridiculous.

Too blooming right !

The music scene in Southampton isn't great

London's not so far - I'd second Minimarc's recommendation of World Unknown (usually 2nd Friday of the month in Brixton till 6am). Any of the Art of Dark gigs too .. with Cable on Sunday mornings to see you through to a lunchtime train home .. The Egg has had some blindingly messy parties of late ... with the added bonus of an 8am (or later) close .. just that its pretence of being 'civilized' does feel a bit of an anachronism when you look around at the punters there - proper messy sh!t !

I feel your pain. Had 5 weddings this year, and went to zero festivals as a result, for the first time since '07.

... would never survive that !!!!!!!!! Only been to 3 weddings in my entire life - one a Hindu extravaganza (curiousity), one a family member (a "discreet affair" !) and the other someone who pestered me to the point I agreed just to get some peace and quiet ! Everyone else who knows me is aware not to even suggest it

Well best of luck in whatever you choose to do.

Thanks !

 

[Dirk]

Nothing to stop us 30 somethings who still enjoy clubbing from attempting to pick up 20 somethings! Ibiza/clubs aren't really the best places to try, perhaps, even though part of 'the dream' may be meeting some hot soulmate. Even though I feel good on pills, there's something not quite right about the headspace when it comes to trying to pull. I've often thought "she looks interested", only to add "but I could be tripping". Then sometimes you're too satisfied with the buzz/music to bother making much effort with people. Then if you do try talking to someone, it's all too easy to forget what you're saying, become distracted, talk no end of sh!te, etc.

I couldn't have explained it better myself (although I did meet my Mrs in a club)

 

[Jack87]

London's not so far - I'd second Minimarc's recommendation of World Unknown (usually 2nd Friday of the month in Brixton till 6am). Any of the Art of Dark gigs too .. with Cable on Sunday mornings to see you through to a lunchtime train home .. The Egg has had some blindingly messy parties of late ... with the added bonus of an 8am (or later) close .. just that its pretence of being 'civilized' does feel a bit of an anachronism when you look around at the punters there - proper messy sh!t !


... would never survive that !!!!!!!!! Only been to 3 weddings in my entire life - one a Hindu extravaganza (curiousity), one a family member (a "discreet affair" !) and the other someone who pestered me to the point I agreed just to get some peace and quiet ! Everyone else who knows me is aware not to even suggest it

Yea it's strange, we do go to London a fair bit but it's normally for football, on the p*ss all day, rather than for a night out. Only 90 minutes away on the train.

Not many of my mates are all that clued up on music, and it'd be wasted on them. My mates that are clued up are more into the DnB scene, which is a lot bigger down here than House/Techno. I've looked into World Unknown and I'm really keen to check it out, sounds like my kind of thing. We've also been meaning to do a few trips to Fabric - train up in the evening, stay all night then stumble out at 7-8am and get the train of shame back to Southampton.

On weddings, I love them (apart from when they clash with festivals). Usually a good p*ss up, a great excuse to suit up and look your best, and of course where there are weddings, there are stag dos. Had some fairly mental adventures over the last couple of years, visiting new cities here and in Europe. Got another one in either Barcelona or Madrid in April.

 

[wednesday23]

eek, the singles table at a wedding awaits!!...i've had that twice this year

just dont start getting cats...thats when you should start to worry

although perhaps it is time for the Spinster tag to get a 21st century rebrand.

Unfortunately Im bridesmaid, singles table would be well better! My brother in law to be has some quite nice footballer friends

I don't own cats, but do have a pet house rabbit....if anything thats slightly more cringy curling up on the sofa to watch TV with a big ball of fluff?