I was listening to Ingrid Michaelson "Girls Chase Boys" and for those of you who know me and who've seen its video, it was emotional. The video is very visual and very "trans". But it also features subtle dancing. And I am very familiar with dancing.
But it also speaks of "the western beat", and ever since the first time I heard it on the radio it reminded me of cops only because it spoke of 'the beat' in its lyrics. Anyway, i was crying by the 2 minute mark.
Here in California, we had four police suicides, more than one a former officer...
What I wanted to say was this: 9-8-8. Dial it. Do it now... Do it when you have more time. Do it until it's your **** habit. Do it frequently. Do it casually. Do it hesitantly; after all, what good are we as cops if we aren't the bravest people in the world?
What I want everyone to know is that suicide is **** contagious. We have to stop it, or it kills again. Tell your cop friend, father, brother, mother, son, or daughter. Do not become a victim to this ****.
When you call 988, do not bother identifying yourself. If you're like me, don't bother telling them much of anything until you're good and ready. Just say, "I want to express anger" and leave it at that. Hang up on them if you want. If they try to call you (or you could call from a restricted number), don't answer. But please know that someone is there to help you, even if it's something as insignificant (hardy har) as road rage.
Seriously, if they do anything that discourages you during that call (9-8-8), hang up, call back, and ***** about that. They do not get to invalidate your initial purpose, or to make the protocol of getting your name or what your state of mind more important. You deserve the freedom to experience your emotions in real time!
And so that your very real anger and very real sadness do not go under the bus, I recommend stressing to them the importance of adequately expressing your feelings; even if it's only to say, "I just have never been this angry before", or if it's all you can get out, "This is too hard."