weloveliam@space
Active Member
QUESTION: How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer
ANSWER: Pose the following question: "You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams like a banshee, raises the knife and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 pistol and are an expert shot. You have a second before he reaches you and your family. WHAT DO YOU DO????
UK POLICE OFFICERS ANSWER:
"Well, that's not enough information to answer the question"
"Does the man look poor, oppressed or harassed"?
"Have I ever done anything that would cause him to attack"?
"Could we all run away"?
"What does my wife think"?
"What about the kids"? I must complete a PAC about this if we survive
"Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the 12inch knife out of his hand"?
"What does the law say about this situation"? Is there an NCALT package that I have missed
"Does the Glock have appropriate safety features built in"?
"Why on earth am I carrying a loaded gun anyway and what kind of message does this send to society….also known as "customers"
"Am I sure he wants to kill me, or would he be content to just wound me a little"?
"If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me"
"Should I dial 999"?
"Surely with this limited information, Metcall will grade the CAD as an "S" response for the panda"
"If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away and hurts his knee"?
"If I shoot him, and loose the court case does he have the right to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and my home? "
AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS ANSWER: "BANG"
AMERICAN OFFICER'S ANSWER: "BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click…….(sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.
AMERICAN OFFICER'S 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER: " Nice grouping pa, were those Winchester Silver Tips?"
ANSWER: Pose the following question: "You are walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams like a banshee, raises the knife and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 pistol and are an expert shot. You have a second before he reaches you and your family. WHAT DO YOU DO????
UK POLICE OFFICERS ANSWER:
"Well, that's not enough information to answer the question"
"Does the man look poor, oppressed or harassed"?
"Have I ever done anything that would cause him to attack"?
"Could we all run away"?
"What does my wife think"?
"What about the kids"? I must complete a PAC about this if we survive
"Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the 12inch knife out of his hand"?
"What does the law say about this situation"? Is there an NCALT package that I have missed
"Does the Glock have appropriate safety features built in"?
"Why on earth am I carrying a loaded gun anyway and what kind of message does this send to society….also known as "customers"
"Am I sure he wants to kill me, or would he be content to just wound me a little"?
"If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me"
"Should I dial 999"?
"Surely with this limited information, Metcall will grade the CAD as an "S" response for the panda"
"If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away and hurts his knee"?
"If I shoot him, and loose the court case does he have the right to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and my home? "
AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS ANSWER: "BANG"
AMERICAN OFFICER'S ANSWER: "BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click…….(sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click.
AMERICAN OFFICER'S 12 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER: " Nice grouping pa, were those Winchester Silver Tips?"