Tricky situation

Beckiboo

Beckiboo

Active Member
Friend has new bf - I REALLY dislike him. Just something about him I don't connect with at all, find him quite rude, aggressive, obnoxious. Not the sort of person I want to associate with at all.

What shall I do? Say something to my friend? Avoid them and hope it finishes? Or grit my teeth and still go and meet her, despite my reservations? :confused:
 
Have you taken any time to get to know him? Could be he's actually a decent guy underneath the armour.
 
Not really taken much time to get to know him, only met him a couple of times. Both times it's been at parties and he's been really loud, rude and aggressive when speaking to him. I just can't bear the thought of having to see him again! I'm thinking I might just say something...
 
Beckiboo said:
Friend has new bf - I REALLY dislike him. Just something about him I don't connect with at all, find him quite rude, aggressive, obnoxious. Not the sort of person I want to associate with at all.
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Dont be surprised that you devlope a thing for him down the road. Most of my early relationships all started with women hating my guts :)

In my experience some girls prefer dickheads to nice guys.
 
Buckley - she seems happy and says she really likes him
 
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Bez said:
Dont be surprised that you devlope a thing for him down the road. Most of my early relationships all started with women hating my guts :)

In my experience some girls prefer dickheads to nice guys.
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Most girls seem to, certainly my female friends do.
See how things pan out with him. Meet him at somewhere other than a house party.
 
how good a mate is she Beck? At the end of the day if she is happy then that must be the most important thing...
 
Not one of my best mates, but someone I meet up with a fair bit. I'm just beginning to feel reluctant to accept offers out for drinks knowing she's bringing him! Plus it's my birthday bash in a few weeks and I want her there but not him, help!
 
take him aside and have a chat with him to try and sort out your differences. It may be all bravado on his part because he feels uneasy in new company. Dont involve your friend.

If that dosent work, then as you say, limit your appearances at social gatherings when they are there together as a couple.

At the end of the day its you that has the problem not him.
 
Sounds tricky, cant you arrange a night for g/f's only? I wouldnt say anything just yet but if you try to get on with him and he makes it difficult I think it would be easier to open up to your friend. If you say something now it might push her towards him and away from you resulting in you losing a friend?
 
My advice - do nothing, don't rise to any of his gnarlyness, silently bear witness, don't react and hold space for your friend.

The less you react, the better the mirror for him and the more his behaviour will stand out to all involved.

Also - getting involved in partner disputes is dodgy territory for any friendship.

If you think you can't handle it, stay away...and then organise a girly night.

Any help?
 
Beckiboo said:
Buckley - she seems happy and says she really likes him
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There's your answer then Miss Boo.

As for your birthday - invite/exclude who you want, but if I was your friend I'd be wanting an explanation as to what my new beau had done to warrant specific exclusion. And then I'd assume you fancied him.:lol:
 
Robder said:
My advice - do nothing, don't rise to any of his gnarlyness, silently bear witness, don't react and hold space for your friend.

The less you react, the better the mirror for him and the more his behaviour will stand out to all involved.

Also - getting involved in partner disputes is dodgy territory for any friendship.

If you think you can't handle it, stay away...and then organise a girly night.

Any help?
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yeah id say the same. if you bring it up with him , he will go straight to your mate and then your friendship is at stake. If he's that much of a douche it will become apparent , or if you actually grow to like him then you havnt jumped the gun
 
Beckiboo said:
I shall not be stripping at my own party! That's for my friends to hire ;)

It's not for another month yet, hopefully they'll split up between now and then :lol:
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Oops :lol:
All I can say is, give him a proper chance, go out for drinks at a pub, you, your boyf, and those two. Get to know him outside of just getting wasted at parties.
 
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