Single :0(

Fergie sweetheart... so, so sorry to hear that happened to you. Some people have no heart or conscience. Just be glad that she lives far away... my ex lives about a two minute drive from my house, and we go to the same bars/clubs, bank, grocery store etc. I see him all the time. It doesn't help your heart any and makes things drag on. I learned that the best solution, no matter how much it HURTS (it does, immensely) is to have as little contact with the ex as possible. I don't think being friends is a good idea either, at least not for a while. You will find someone fab my dear, keep your chin up and occupy your time with things that make you happy. Things will look up soon. :D
 
Cheers,

My mum said the same earlier, luckily I will never have to see her again. I NEVER want to be her friend, couldnt after she's been cheating on me :evil:

Still haven't heard a thing from her, didnt have her as that much of a coward.

With the way I treated her, I now know that she doesnt deserve me...her loss
 
lcoverdale said:
Fergie, your never to old to start again, the same thing happened to me but a lot worse6 years ago, was left £20,000 in debt by the other half and she ran off with my young daughter who i havnt seen since, I might sound naff now but your never to old to start life again. I did and have been in a fantastic relationship for the last 3 years which made me wonder what the hell id been doing with my life before that.

I was 35 then, yes i do regret the past and wish i hadnt wasted my life but the whole experience makes me believe that life goes on...

By the way, I live near whitburn, if you mean whitburn near sunderland, tyne and wear?? Do you mean the same place?
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your're the one that goes to the west end aint you?
 
Awwwwwwww Fergie I'm so sad to read about your heartache.

I know how you must feel, like your gut has been ripped out. :cry:
Its an awful low feeling, and its even worse to think that someone you are so in love with has "been" with someone else (Its an instant repellent) and spun you so many lies :x .

You are only young use your anger upset & disgust and plough that energy into posotive things towards "your" future.

It was about 20 months ago when I called it a day with my ex-fiancee, but he said he still was in love with me, and still wanted to see me :? :?:
I've build up a wall, and am devoid of any emotion. Hopefully that won't happen to you as you are so young, and I have every faith you will bounce back as you are a lovely guy.

It really doesn't help to remain in contact, as you can't release yourself. We would all like some answers but it does happen that some people are too cowardly to face up to the mess they've caused. You may never get any answers.

Best of luck sweetie, enjoy the sun and plan things to look forward to & keep yourslef busy.x
 
Sorry to here ... had the same thing about 5 years ago and yes you will feel insecure and don't thrust girls but on the other hand there will be a girl that nocks you of your feet thrust me ... after rain come sunshine ... but it will take some years ... lots of strength
 
aww bless you, sorry to hear that.

best to be round friends and let it out, dont keep it eating away inside of you.

and its prob best to get proper closure, and not drag things out.
chin up and be strong :D
 
Thing is I cant get proper closure, cant get hold of her at all.

Her mum even called me about half an hour ago saying they still havent heard from her. She told them she was staying at a mates house yesterday (this is the only mate who's phone number I dont have...another lie so I cant get hold of her. This 'mate' was also at work at this time, so she couldnt have gone there'

Think she's forgotten how to tell the truth :evil:
 
I say BS with "proper closure".....

The "closure" ever so artfully came when she left you without a trace and cheated on you!! Sorry to be harsh but its true! I know it might be cathartic for you, but it is unlikely that she gives a crap about doing anything "proper" and considerate by you Fergie.

This is something that I failed to see in the beginning of my breakup and pretty long after that because I was SO blinded by the deepest love I ever had. Then one day I just woke up, reviewed all his actions that SCREAMED "I don't care about you," and mentally abolished him for good.
 
Hey Fergie, sending you loads of hugs, i know exactly how you feel and it hurts so bad and nothing that anyone will say will make the hurt any easier.
But time is the greatest healer and eventually, whilst it will always hurt you will move onwards and upwards and she will be the one living her life with regrets. You shouldnt feel bad for loving someone and trusting someone so much, at least your concience is clear :D
Book yourself a couple of days break if you can afford it, give yourself something different to llok forward to and take your mind off it.
chin up honey ;)
 
Fergie19 said:
Thing is I cant get proper closure, cant get hold of her at all.

Her mum even called me about half an hour ago saying they still havent heard from her. She told them she was staying at a mates house yesterday (this is the only mate who's phone number I dont have...another lie so I cant get hold of her. This 'mate' was also at work at this time, so she couldnt have gone there'

Think she's forgotten how to tell the truth :evil:
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if she is acting like this now, then is that really the type of person you want to be with? i mean a year is a while but not really when u think about it. my break up not too long ago was after 3 and a bit years.

just think at least u have found this side to her now and you can only move on to better things. :D
 
Exactly Rachelj... a nice respectable closure session would be in order if the split was amicable maybe... but since she is obviously a very screwed up girl, I don't think it is worth Fergie wasting another breath on her.
 
NITEFLY said:
lcoverdale said:
Fergie, your never to old to start again, the same thing happened to me but a lot worse6 years ago, was left £20,000 in debt by the other half and she ran off with my young daughter who i havnt seen since, I might sound naff now but your never to old to start life again. I did and have been in a fantastic relationship for the last 3 years which made me wonder what the hell id been doing with my life before that.

I was 35 then, yes i do regret the past and wish i hadnt wasted my life but the whole experience makes me believe that life goes on...

By the way, I live near whitburn, if you mean whitburn near sunderland, tyne and wear?? Do you mean the same place?
Click to expand...

your're the one that goes to the west end aint you?
Click to expand...

West end? no. ...san antonio....yes! but a bit fed up of it now.....whats the relevance? :? :?
 
PachaGirl79 said:
I say BS with "proper closure".....

The "closure" ever so artfully came when she left you without a trace and cheated on you!! Sorry to be harsh but its true! I know it might be cathartic for you, but it is unlikely that she gives a crap about doing anything "proper" and considerate by you Fergie.

This is something that I failed to see in the beginning of my breakup and pretty long after that because I was SO blinded by the deepest love I ever had. Then one day I just woke up, reviewed all his actions that SCREAMED "I don't care about you," and mentally abolished him for good.
Click to expand...

Hey Fergie, Really sorry to hear about this - it sucks mate. I know what you mean about wanting "closure", but I have to agree with what Pacha Girl says above....you already know everything you need to.

When I split up with my girlfriend four years ago, I drew a mental line in the sand, and resolved to move forward, not back, and not wallow in it. I forced myself not to call or text her, however much I wanted to. I once even ignored her in the street when she walked past as I didn't want to enter into a conversation with her. Any form of contact seemed to me like starting the whole game up again....and really, I didn't want to know if she was with anyone else, or if she'd broken it off cos she'd been cheated on me, or whatever. I think "friendship" in these situations is impossible, cos even if you achieve it, you would have to hide details of fundamental parts of your life, like other partners from each other, and what sort of friendship, really, is that?

All the best mate - you will bounce back. That said, it can be really hard to develop trust again, and, if the truth be known, I haven't had a "serious" girlfriend for over four years for that reason.
 
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