Security Body Scanners

We've had those things at one of the airports here for a while.

I don't mind them at all. A quick scan and you're off to your gate. No manual searches and all that jazz.

All this kid (in story above) did was mention the notable size of his colleagues mammary glands. What's the big deal? :lol:
 
all those of you thinking of smuggling your plant food up where the sun don't shine will just have to be that little bit more imaginative :lol:
 
russellventilla said:
yeah, like fly from any other airport apart from gatwick or manchester (for the time being)
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beat me to it...

Newcastle "International" airport is a joke at the best of times (International - my arse - for any long haul we still have to go via a London Airport!! :lol::lol:)
 
imagine the scene - you've off to a festival in the south of france and have 9 e's hidden in a chewing gum packet in a carrier bag with all your other stuff, food etc - and you put it through - then the bleep sounds, they open the bag and take out the contents and then after a pause (which feels like 10 years) the woman says it must have been the phone which activated the alarm whilst you pray nobody will notice your bright red face... (stansted, July 2006)
 
Olly said:
imagine the scene - you've off to a festival in the south of france and have 9 e's hidden in a chewing gum packet in a carrier bag with all your other stuff, food etc - and you put it through - then the bleep sounds, they open the bag and take out the contents and then after a pause (which feels like 10 years) the woman says it must have been the phone which activated the alarm whilst you pray nobody will notice your bright red face... (stansted, July 2006)
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That's just given me a cold shiver down my spine...

I went to a meeting in London with 3 of my Senior Partners about 4 years back and we were coming up to the the x ray thingummy to put your bags through, I put my hand in my bag to take out my phone charger which was in a side pocket and found 3 Gary's wrapped in a rizla - I sneakily pulled them out with the phone charge and held them in my hand as I walked through and collected my bag from the other side....

I was bricking it ...:eek:
 
ha! not just me then - your life flashes past - you need to be very quick-witted

I'm done with the whole smuggling malarky though - trying to work out if there'll be dogs at stations, or whether they'll look in your shoes, can you trust X, the excuses you would come up with, testing by employers, all that crap...

there's more to life - don't need that aggro, I belatedly realised
 
puppylover said:
That's just given me a cold shiver down my spine...
I was bricking it ...:eek:
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My similar experience, about 8 years ago, involved cash.

I was flying back from Kiyv to Moscow and was carrying $1000 from one colleague to another. Aside from that, I had some of my own cash... mainly some left over Ukrainian grivens I'd planned to spend in duty free, bar, etc. or keep for my next visit.

At the time, the Ukrainians had a strict $1k cash export limit.

For some reason, I'd had the foresight to stuff the extra cash down my pants. But despite this, after going through security, passport and customs, I got pulled aside. They took me into a room (already freaking at this point) and searched my hand luggage through every nook and cranny to see if I had more cash than the $1k I'd declared.

When that was over, the customs lady threatened a strip search, at which point I nearly lost it (thoughts wavering between the horrors of Ukrainian detention and/or how much this would cost me to get out of). But I blurted out something about their $1k limit and once she understood that I was aware of the law, she let me go.
 
one of my Spanish relatives had an account in a bank in Andorra where in the old days a lot of people would go to horde money away from the prying eyes of the spanish Hacienda (treasury) but the guardia civil would search you on the frontier - once they (all male) accused her of hiding wads of pesetas down her bra - which wasn't altogether untrue but nevetheless this prompted a huge row, threatened accusations of sexual harrassment - fortunately no search. Cars or coaches are best for smuggling though. They seriously don't have the resources or time to search each one.
 
Olly said:
ha! not just me then - your life flashes past - you need to be very quick-witted

I'm done with the whole smuggling malarky though - trying to work out if there'll be dogs at stations, or whether they'll look in your shoes, can you trust X, the excuses you would come up with, testing by employers, all that crap...

there's more to life - don't need that aggro, I belatedly realised
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The worst one was coming back from Jamaica were had basically spent 14 days absolutely bolloxed on weed as there was naff all else to do on the AI resort we were in so we spent every day smoking morning noon and night - everything in our cases stunk of grass and when we got off at Manchester - they opened the doors into arrivals and there was about 4 dogs and handlers waiting for everyone off the Jamaica flight - the dogs were going crazy - everyone got searched..... :eek:

Nothing was found on anyone...... but talk about paranoid.... :confused:
 
puppylover said:
The worst one was coming back from Jamaica were had basically spent 14 days absolutely bolloxed on weed as there was naff all else to do on the AI resort we were in so we spent every day smoking morning noon and night - everything in our cases stunk of grass and when we got off at Manchester - they opened the doors into arrivals and there was about 4 dogs and handlers waiting for everyone off the Jamaica flight - the dogs were going crazy - everyone got searched..... :eek:

Nothing was found on anyone...... but talk about paranoid.... :confused:
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lol :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

We had that same experience, although not having done much damage to the carrier bag of stuff the guy in Jamaica had given us had snook some into the luggage. Seemed like a good idea in Jamaica, and a really stoopid one when we saw the dogs in Manchester:rolleyes: The father in law was waiting to pick us up and by the time we were through the gates I was talking gibberish such were my nerves:oops:
 
I went through one of those scanners a few weeks back. Luckily the security / border control woman was fit as a butcher's dog so maintaining a semi (and a smile) was no problem.
 
Jam Man said:
I went through one of those scanners a few weeks back. Luckily the security / border control woman was fit as a butcher's dog so maintaining a semi (and a smile) was no problem.
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pmsl - you sooo popped off to the Gents "for a moment to yourself" before you got in the Q didnt you :lol::lol::lol:
 
WeLuvIbiza said:
lol :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

We had that same experience, although not having done much damage to the carrier bag of stuff the guy in Jamaica had given us had snook some into the luggage. Seemed like a good idea in Jamaica, and a really stoopid one when we saw the dogs in Manchester:rolleyes: The father in law was waiting to pick us up and by the time we were through the gates I was talking gibberish such were my nerves:oops:
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We had sheds loads left - but too paranoid to bring it back so we lashed it over the balcony into a field (well it was weed after all :lol::lol::lol:)
 
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