madwhitegiant
New Member
I think it is really hard for a lot of parents who've been ravers and now have kids - I have a lot of friends lates 30s/early 40s with children in London who still indulge when they have nights off / the babysitter in. There is no moral dilemma there in the same way you restrict your children's viewing of adult TV etc. [I do have a moral issue with people who indulge IN FRONT of young children, which I have seen and which I think is unacceptable] I think the sensible thing with the education is to to be upfront and say, x is legal and does/might do this, y is illegal and does/might do this, and then let them make their own choices, warning of the risks but also explaining that there are potential positives as well. If a teenager is quite shy and withdrawn and meets friends through rave culture - I think many enlightened parents would think that is far better and more socially acceptable than same kid curfewed in their bedroom being corrupted by violent porn...
+ let's never forget - telling teenagers what NOT to do is a historically proven way of ensuring they WILL do it!
Me and my missus still indulge as do most of our friends who have kids. However none of us ever have or ever would indulge in front of the kids. I very rarely even drink if out for a meal or indoors with the kids (usually as they pester me for it!). Once the kids are in bed or at their various kennells is a different matter. However one thing we never do is let the kids miss out on something due to previous night's excesses. If we have told them we are going swimming, park, etc etc then we take then. Why should they miss out coz we have been partying?? I quite like it as you don't have time to feel sorry for yourself you just get up and get on with it. The kids smell weakness too and will punish you.
I am never going to tell kids don't do it as i'm not hypocritical and would never want them to lie to me about it. I want them to be honest and I will be with them. My missus rarely drinks or gets drunk as she was allowed to have the odd drink at home when younger and knows all about it. However her mates go out and get totally gazeebowed and end up flashing their brands hatch at everyone! Her parents smoke weed and she has never even had a puff on a joint.
As Olly says if you say no then you know for a fact they will! My old dear still nags me about drugs and i'm 36 and have 20 years of being a walking labroratory so bit late for her to keep on but that's mothers for you. She still demands to see my eyes when I have my sunglasses on!
Also I have loads of mates who still do and don't do drugs and not one friendship has stopped because they do or don't. However I have lost friends who I don't speak to as they will only drink in a certain pubs 7 days a week and not interested in going anywhere else. I have made many a good friend over the years and still keep in touch with them. Your friends are your friends.