limericks about fellow spotlight posters

deleted because what seemed quite amusing an hour ago is actually not that funny


There once was a man called Oll

Who had monkey love with a plastic doll

Whilst this could mean danger

The doll was no stranger

This was against all spotlight protocol.
There was once was a bloke name of Morbs

Who liked to polish his Orbs

It caused quite a row

So he moved to Mos - cow

And ended up on the cover of Forbes
there once was a chap called MarkB

he was terribly posh and pc

a w@nker to some

but a disposition not glum

he got into a fight with kitty
can i have bonus points for being topical and using real facts/insults........bloody orbs and forbes! :lol::lol:
had hoped this thread might get zapped :lol: but basically (to explain zzz) - someone put up a scathing poem about roman polanski on another board and then my mind turned to poems and limericks and then (yes it was a quiet day today) thought I might get creative so I put some really lame ones up here - but they were pretty >> :oops:

but seeing as its been resurrected and Mark B's thrown down the gauntlet :lol: ...

there once was an agent under cover
who was a seriously bodacious mutha
he tied the knot
after which he drank a lot
until his bride started to really shudder

there once was a girl called hauskitten
with whom half the board was smitten
she bestrode the scene
like a warrior queen
until all critics had been trully bitten

trevor from slough, trevor from slough
the podium king, the chicas go wow
trevor from slough, trevor from slough
tiesto's disciple, hitting privilege round about now

philly cent, philly cent
the toolroom king, at that ministry thing
friend of the stars, in only the coolest bars
no cat could ever quite groove
like philly cent bustin' a move
There is an old man in Ibiza,
He goes by the name of E'steva,
A clubber he aint,
Though to dogs he's a saint,
If he'd married a Kitten he'd leave her

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There is a young man called Olly,
Who at first was a bit of a wally,
But after a while he upped his style,
And traded his cider for Bolly
:lol: I Spy's Olly one is spot on :lol: Gregs is 8) Also.

Right my go, ahem...

There was once a chap called Grego
He seemed quite a nice fellow
That was until
He swallowed a pill
Then he went sort of mental.

We all know a guy called Chewie
Who's really into his pussy
He also likes to shoot
With his Canon Eos to boot
scenes with foxes and his Hussy.

I'll get me coat :oops:
There is a perv called Nitefly
Would he do Hauskitten ?
He might try.
Nakedage he aint,
Although he's not a saint
he's a decent straigh up kind of guy.
There was once was a bloke name of Morbs
Who liked to polish his Orbs
It caused quite a row
So he moved to Mos - cow
And ended up on the cover of Forbes
If only it were me on the cover of Forbes :lol:

OK, I'll give this a try.

There once was a fellow named Liam
He sold houses, but it was no scam
Said he could get ya
A luxury villa
Only cost ya 14 million clams!
There once was a dude named I-Spy
A hell of a mysterious guy,
He lived in Belize
I think in the trees,
But i never quite figured out why

(okay maybe a bit artistic license :lol:)
I once knew a scouser called Grego
Who had an incredible ego
Life in Ibiza was his mission
And he fulfilled his ambition
But he forgot to take his bucket of Lego

(don't take the ego bit to heart, i was stuck for a rhyme :lol:)
Sorry, but Morbyd, that's a shocking attempt
You're not going to win the Pulitzer for Poetry anytime soon either, mate :lol:

Another go:

There's a girl by the name of Spacemonkey
Who likes her house music real funky
Her old man's a bit whimpy
Drives around in a Mini
Guess that's better than riding a donkey