An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners.
She places a garment on
>the counter "I'll be back tomorrow
afternoon to pick up my dress", she says.
>"Come again?" says the clerk,
cupping his ear.
>"No" she replies. "This time
it's mayonnaise.
>
>Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a
vibrator.
>The man says "Choose from our range on
the wall."
>She says "I'll take the red one."
>The man replies "That's a fire
extinguisher."
>
>An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car
crash and is trapped and bleeding.
>The paramedics soon arrive on site.
>Medic: It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going
to ask you some questions?
>Girl: OK
>Medic: What's your name?
>Girl: Sharon
>Medic: OK Sharon, is this your car?
>Sharon: Yes
>Medic: Where are you bleeding from?
>Sharon: Romford, mate.
>
>An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when
her car phone rang.
>It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her,
"Treacle, I just heard on the
>news that there's a car going the wrong way
on the A13. Please be careful!
>"It's not just one car!" said the
Essex girl, "There's hundreds of them!"
>
>Another Essex girl was involved in a serious
crash; there's blood
>everywhere.
>The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out
of the car till she's lying flat
>out on the floor.
>Medic: OK, I'm going to check if you're
concussed.
>Sharon: Ok
>Medic: Ok - how many fingers am I putting up?
>Sharon: Oh my god! I'm paralysed from the
waist down!
>
>An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar
when the Essex girl notices
>something strange about the wellies the Irish
guy is wearing.
>She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being
fanny or nuffink, but why doz one of
>your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva
one's got an R on it?" So the Irish
>guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness
and replies, "Well oim a little
>bit tick you see. The one with the R on it is
for me roight foot and the
>one with the L is for me left foot"
>"Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl,
"So THATS why me knickers 'ave got C&A
>on them.