Ibiza blues

Well, 25 out of the last 32 hours have been spent in bed, and finally the flashes have stopped. Had some very obscure dreams/nightmares last night though. Far too many chemicals put in my body over the last week. I guess that going back to work tomorrow and hitting the gym/eating well again will sort me out fully.
 
Came back on Wednesday, and up until today I've been keeping normal sleeping patterns and got on with things. Woke up at 10:15am this morning, just lay there for half an hour thinking about life. :) First day back at work tomorrow:(, so maybe that's had an impact.
 
Jack87 said:
Well, 25 out of the last 32 hours have been spent in bed, and finally the flashes have stopped. Had some very obscure dreams/nightmares last night though. Far too many chemicals put in my body over the last week. I guess that going back to work tomorrow and hitting the gym/eating well again will sort me out fully.
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The vivid dream/nightmare situation is widely experienced by people on antidepressants, have experienced that myself on those and have to say that first couple of times I slept after I got back this time I was definitely experiencing vivid dreams (I hardly ever get nightmares). I think it's the serotonin overload, but that's just my theory.

On a more positive note I think I might just be closing in on an equilibrium, took no SSRIs yesterday and if I can stick to that I'm gonna call that a big win :-D

Sure wish I'd been there with you for ASOT closing though Hywel...
 
Checking in. 3rd day home and things are easing slightly... been moping about the flat on the verge of tears for the past couple of days. Beer and sad tunes do NOT help (put that James Blake album away :spank:), though sometimes I think it's better to give into the feelings rather than try and fight them. Anyway, today dragged my sorry ass out for an hour's run (kick start the natural endorphins) and did the dreaded first trip to the supermarket (very much a hit and run affair)... Feeling a little better now and looking forward to a 'date' tomorrow (though I'm thinking of it as a 'meet' to avoid any disappointment). Been getting the dreaded sleep paralysis, but once you know you're in for it, it can be cured entirely by a small dose of xanax or valium. ;)
 
Haha... already had a bit of Radiohead on. :lol: I dare anyone to listen to Reckoner or Weird Fishes on a comedown...

Another comedown track I'm enjoying at the mo is Scuba's 'So You Think You're Special'. So different from anything off Personality but as equally fantastic.
 
I was so upset to come home this year I drank myself to oblivion the day I got back, had 3 days off work to look after my daughter as she was gradually starting school reception and it initially took the edge off as it distracted me. Then I got 5 numbers on the lottery and the what ifs that still won't leave my head set me up for another little depressive few days but I'm looking forward to June as I've been given a three day pass to go to amnesia opening. It's gonna be a long cold dark winter first though :( lol
 
JV,
Its only natural to have to ease yourself back in slowly. Going to work the day after coming home actually helped me this year. Stay off the booze as well might help.
5HTP anyone????????
 
deepseadiver said:
JV,
Its only natural to have to ease yourself back in slowly. Going to work the day after coming home actually helped me this year. Stay off the booze as well might help.
5HTP anyone????????
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I take 5-htp, but dunno how much it helps... Ugh, no way could I have gone back to work this week. Things there are changing and there's absolutely no way I could get away with having a head full of fluff.. or cotton wool between the ears. Even an episode of American Horror Story was too taxing last night. :lol: In some ways it's cool because it seriously reduces the number of occasions in a year when I can go mad and makes me think about my intake.
 
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I felt a little bit special after the 7 days of madness that was. Myself and JV were sat at Bora Bora on the day I was leaving watching Playa Den Essex in all it's glory and it sent me a little under. Still haven't fully recovered though despite eating exceptionally well and exercising since I got home. I thought a trip back for the closings was going to be on the cards but bar a lottery / footy accumulator this weekend that's a right off. Have booked time off for Snowbombing in April which is something to look forward to at least.
 
Yeah, the last day there is prob worse than when you get home, which is why I always end up getting semi-pissed... I had a quick drink with Rebecca then was on my own, fell asleep on one of couches in the hotel, got woken up by my mobile alarm, then just as I asked for a taxi to the airport realised I'd lost my wallet... my guardian angel must have been looking out for me because hotel reception had it (though I didn't think of asking there before rushing about PDB looking for a machine that actually had some money in it)... then 4.5 hour delay on the plane home. :eek:
 
I was ill for two weeks and had an ear infection for 3 weeks after my last visit.
Did some weird stuff when I got back home.

Dancing to Carl Cox sets in my room.
Went out when I was ill the day after getting back and got ridiculously drunk. On a Tuesday night.
Shaved my hair into a mohican.
Was seriously down.
Slept with a couple of rotters.
Got emotional the day before leaving ibiza whenever I saw a plane overhead.
Generally felt my life was awreck for aweek or so.
Amazing what that Island can do to you.
 
^^ Funny .... I never get too much of all that usually ! Last couple of trips were such a challenge (not in a bad way, just hard !) it was a relief to get home. I think drug binges make it considerably harder for people emotionally to be honest. It's as much about getting over that and ending the party as leaving Ibiza per se ! That's not to say it isn't an adjustment even without but maybe that's what adds to the pain !
 
Oh I could write so much here. If only the dodgy WiFi would hold up ;)

Where do I start...?

First time out to Ibiza for me this year. Came out beginning of September for a week. Was on my own which was far from Ideal. What saved the day (and my life ultimatly) was meeting up with some awesome Spotlighters and the support of friends back home.

The stresses and strains of what has been a horrible year for me, combined with sheer exhaustion and a recurrence of depression - as well as finding myself becoming so emotionally involved with the island, the music and atmosphere etc. Tried to take my own life twice but failed miserably..

Anyway, cut a long(er) story short, I am back here again having only lasted a week back at home before the draw of the place and the need to make up lost time and opportunities from the previous time. Am a complete emotional wreck though, in tears most nights..

What is with the power of this place? Am going to need a lot of time to adjust when I finally get back home... and possibly a spell on those nasty SSRI's

Dan
 
Wow I feel bad coming home but crying while you're there takes it to a whole new level! :lol:
Just enjoy what time you have and get depressed when you get back.
 
In the words of The Streets (roughly) "When you start to think you're a state, you definitely are a state." If you're not able to reach states of happiness, it's time to call it quits and take (I'd say) a good few months out. Ibiza is paradise, but it would be a mistake to think you can stay in paradise (or at least Ibiza in holiday mode) constantly or even for much of your time.

Seriously, though, Dan, if you're feeling THAT bad, look after yourself and I hope you feel better soon.

And to end, there's a great quote at the beginning of Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas: "He who makes a beast of himself takes away the pain of being a man." The urge to excess is understandable, especially if you're going through a tough time already, but you always pay it back with interest :!:
 
Ohh guys reading this brings back so many memories from when I got home in July - I'm still feeling the after effects now myself!! Got involved in a bit of a crush in Amnesia losing most of my toenail (yucky!), it's pretty much grown back now but keeps getting infected so am on antibiotics - lovely!

The best advice I can give is get back to normality as quickly as possible I think - I spent 10 days in Ibiza - 7 of which I was not on the planet. I remember fighting the tears on the plane home, but was really looking forward to seeing the guy who I'd started something with before going - only to find he was no longer speaking to me when I got back (lads holiday to Zante while I was in Ibiza eh, I can pretty much guess what happened). That made it just a billion times harder. Got the train home and ended up with a 2 hour delay - how I didn't smash a window on a crowded, hot train I'll never know.

My own bed was bliss, however I didn't sleep properly for a week due to the vivid dreams, but exercise and eating healthy and the routine of work helped - along with planning stuff - even if it was getting my friends over for a bbq. Appreciating the simple things like sleeping normally and my mum's Sunday lunch have been winners also for kicking the blues!!
 
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