hello people; Advice needed

I

Ibiza-girlie

New Member
it´s been a while.
I´ve been in quite a pickle.
My hubbie and I have decided we´re better friends than a married couple so we have split/seperated legally and I have bought a new apartment. Im moving in the 1st of July and until then we share the apartment 1 week each in June and for now.
Wheither we will still continue to be partners eventually, is on/off the table because we love eachother but we just can´t live together under the same roof, because we are so different.
nevertheless we have this trip to ibiza in the end of July. the question is if it would be wise og us to travel together? or who should go. i arranged the trip and have done this mány years in a row. but he´s also very friendly with the group and they´ll be dissapointed if he wont join us. who should go and what to do?

IG
 
Hello I-G, sorry to hear you've split from your Hubby, but it's good that you're still friends at least. I think if you're going in a group then you should all go if everyone still gets along.
 
yeah its just such a hard time, a lot of pain and grief but in the long run we´re better off this way. just that we spend a tremendous amount of money on this tick´s + hotel reservations....so: the question still remains who should go.... :cry:
 
Really sorry to hear that Linn, I was thinking you hadn't been around much recently.

Tbh I think it might be too soon for you to go on holiday as friends cos emotions will still be raw and there will be lots of upset. Could you sell his ticket to a girlie friend cos a holiday would do you the world of good.

Hope you're ok xx
 
yeah, thing is. i cant even sell the damn ticket because they´re non refundable and have been issued. the hotel alone is approx. 420 Euros and that alone would kill my budget. Just bought myself a 110.000 pound apartment also, and have to pay for the paperwork, the lawyer, the moving and new furniture also, so Im kinda broke already! 8O
 
Ibiza-girlie said:
yeah, thing is. i cant even sell the damn ticket because they´re non refundable and have been issued. the hotel alone is approx. 420 Euros and that alone would kill my budget. Just bought myself a 110.000 pound apartment also, and have to pay for the paperwork, the lawyer, the moving and new furniture also, so Im kinda broke already! 8O
Click to expand...

The thing is your happiness and getting you thru this is the most important thing at this time, if you think you can go on holiday with your hubbie and as part of a group then go for it but at this moment in time sometimes you have to be selfish and think funk the money/funk Ibiza and do what's best for you.
 
true. I just dont want to miss Ibiza either. But dont know wheither I should go with him or not. its the whole dilemma in this situation....ahh difficult decision.
 
Hello I-G, sorry to hear this, I don't know what to say about your holydays but what it is more important in this very moment is your happiness so try to balance if it is convinient for you to go through that situation.
Lots of kisses.
 
thanks peeps! i cant really think about ibiza before we reach july me thinks. might give a better view of my spendings and wheither I can afford to go or now in the first place! ;)
 
Hey IG - really sorry to hear this, but seems you both have thought about this a lot before making such a hard decision.

I think if there are a group of your going, all good friends and that neither of you are planning to "find a new friend" during the trip to Ibiza its worth going still.....

I would say tho just set a few ground rules between yourself and your hubby before going so that you dont cause more heartache for yourselves during the holiday..... Good Luck xx
 
That's very sad I-G - I hope everything works out for the best for both of you.

On the holiday thing - only you can really know if you how you think it's going to feel if you go and even you might misjudge how it will actually be. So make a decision and try not to worry about it, because in a couple of years time, they'll have been a million decisions you'll have made since and none will seem as big as they did in the midst of it all.
 
:( :( I'm going to suggest the total opposite. Go to Ibiza and take your husband with you. After being married neither of you are likely to do anything to hurt the other and who knows, maybe being away from everything and that little Ibiza spark could make you both realise that separation isn't what you want.

Whatever happens I hope you end up happy ;)
 
Sorry to hear that I-G.

If you really feel you cant live with him, than I would suggest a holiday like that would not be good for the apitr of you, nor would you be able to really enjoy yourself.

Hope it all turns out for you.
 
Sorry to hear that I-G.

I hope everything works out for you.

Re: Ibiza. if it was me I defiantely wouldn't go. I'd end up having a few drinks and getting all emotional. I think your mental wellbeing is much more important that loosing some cash ;)
 
true true you all have some nice point of views. im also afriad of getting emotional and my hubbie keeps asking my why i have moved out so quickly. He´s the one who ultimately decided to get the separation, but he´s suffering more obviously than I am altho Im hurt too.
But I just don´t feel the same way I used to. The arguing is awful.
We went to Mallorca, and one day we got into a row about money and it resulted in him not speaking to me the rest of the evening and spent the night on the couch.
im just afriad Ibiza might be the same for us. And we´ll ruin other´s vacation too if we star to fight over our failed marriage.
well nevertheless im not sure. he´s too vunerable to be mad at me.
 
Ibiza will still be there next year Linn, get your life back on track, arrange some quality time with your girlies over the next few months and then you'll be back stronger than ever next year ;)
 
Sorry to hear that IG :(


Re to Ibiza I wouldn't go. I guess you are in a emotional turbulence and it would be like that for a while, so, as Scoobie pointed out, you risk to get all emotional.

And, on the other hand, even it seems it's a civilised separation, I think after such a hard moment you probable need space and fresh air, if you know what I mean
 
yeah its difficult ti decide.
I hate not being able to decide whats best, but we´re going with a group of 10 other peeps i´d love to go but it could prove itself risky!
 
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