I agree that things happen out of our control..but i don't think things just happen.
I think there can be bad timing... when my friend got hit by a car, the lady driving the car still made the decision to be careless.
A boyfriend i had a few years ago... he talked about it us being fate... and i said 'no, i handed in my cv to that workplace and i got the job and you used to stalk me on my lunch break'
there are so many sliding doors... ever seen the film?
its like saying 'if i had gone to uni in another city maybe i would have met someone there, who introduced me to someone, who got me a job, who i went traveling with who i had a fight with on the trip, so i went out a one one day and met the love of my life'
I think when bad things happen, true, people says things like 'everything happens for a reason' for thier own COMFORT.... and they learn to be happy in their new situation...but ... if that bad event DIDN'T happen then they may have been equally happy, just in a different way.
A friend of mine, lost her husband at a young age... about 5 years later she got married again... she is happy now... but thats not to say if her first husband wa still alive today, she wouldn't be happy either.