Do you remember your first time?





Day 3

Explored the West Coast. Drove to and swam to at Cala d'Hort, Cala Tarida, Cala Vadella. Then drove to San Antonio, had a meal there. Walked to Cafe del Mar (another bucket list item). Then drove to Cala Bassa and spent the evening swimming an snorkeling there, saw I think an octopus in the water.


 
Day 4

Cloudy skies on the last day. I took a boat from the hotel to Eivissa to see the town during the day. Visited the bastions during the day, also visited the cathedral and the adjacent museum, and the Necropolis at Puig des Molins (very impressive!)

Went to the Salinas beach then (which instantly became my favorite and remains so until this day). After a couple of hours, went to... the Es Codolar beach for snorkeling, having confused it with Cala Codolar :rolleyes:

It started raining. I remembered seeing large waves from Dalt Vila, with ferries to Formentera visibly struggling with waves. So I took a catamaran to Formentera and back in the waves simply for a thrill ride, and loved every second of it (other passengers were shrieking!)





Had a dinner at the hotel, then walked to the breakwater protecting the harbor listening to the still roaring waves. And that was it, early next morning I boarded a flight to Mallorca, with no plans to go back to Ibiza anytime soon.

* * *

Three years later, I decided to do a relaxing beach vacation after a very demanding project at work, so I chose Ibiza. I knew most beaches, loved Ibiza Town and I remembered there was something special about the clubs. I stayed at the Torre del Mar hotel at the near end of PdB this time. After the check in, I went to the room balcony facing the sea with a great view of PdB to the right and Dalt Vila in the rays of the setting sun to the left, with not a single item on my bucket list ?

And that's when I got hooked :)

 
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Tourist said:
August '87 for me. I posted about it before on here but to summarise, we sailed across from mainland with wealthy family friends who had a sailing boat. it took about 23 hours I think because they turned the engine off a few times. I threw up a lot on the crossing but it was good fun clinging on to the rope and swinging off the sail. we moored somewhere and stayed at the zodiac apartments in San An Bay (we knew the architect who built them) surrounded by some of the worst tourists on earth, mooning at strangers at the water slides there or vandalising things. there was a cool band though by our pool who did Lionel Richie and Motown covers night after night. after a couple of days I seem to recall we left again and then sailed to L'Espalmador and must have moored somewhere deep enough and then waded the rest. stunningly beautiful. travelled around a bit. vaguely remember a very flamboyant parade in the old town which was pretty eye-opening for a 12 year old! and hearing people talking about this mystical place called KU and I think my mum secretly wanted to go but it obv wasn't THAT kind of holiday. don't remember much else but we did eat well though! I guess if your first memories are as a child it's a different ballgame. an innocent world where you took everything at face value and which bears no relationship to anything now. I remember my mum and I refused to sail back to the mainland with the others and got a ferry instead. I think there was a ticker farewell (?) and people unravelling streams of toilet rolls off the side of the ship as we left. D'Alt Villa looking amazing as we left at night.
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Wow love this! Such a different perspective!
 
tclubber said:
Thanks for a great thread - an excellent occasion to go through old photos and relive the memories!

My first time was in September of 2004 for 4 nights, stayed at the hotel Argos in Talamanca. Me being a travel junkie, this was planned not as a beach/nightlife vacation at all, but as a quick sightseeing trip. I didn't know back then I would later return to Ibiza again and again, so I tried to visit all attractions during that trip (and failed even at that). So I didn't enjoy it that much back then, and my first Ibiza trip was by far the worst one.

If you are an Ibiza virgin, don't repeat my mistakes and don't cram too much sightseeing into your calendar - attractions won't run away, you can visit them years later on subsequent trips to the island :)

Day 1

Arrived, picked up my rental car, drove West along the coast to Es Cubells, Cala d'Hort, Cala Vadella, enjoyed some tremendous views from the road.

From there, drove via St. Josep back to Ibiza Town and checked in at my hotel in Talamanca. Tried swimming at Talamanca - yuck! Drove to Cala Boix for swimming, enjoyed the waves. It's still one of my favorite beaches on the island.

Was a very hot day with some fine sand blown over from the Sahara desert which covered all parked cars.





Day 2

Drove to Portinatx, then snorkeled at Cala Xarraca (got bitten by jellyfish), then on to Port de Sant Miquel (and an excursion to Cova Can Marca). Went to Benirras from there (horrible parking). Then returned to the hotel and took a small boat across the harbor to Ibiza Town (the boat stopped at El Divino underway, IIRC). Walked through busy pedestrian streets by the port, entered Dalt Vila through the main portal, randomly walked uphill through the maze of streets until I arrived at the cathedral. Before the trip, I had read about powerful lasers from the big clubs in San Rafel illuminating the sky, but this must have been before my time on Ibiza, I only saw a bright colored spotlight shining from Amnesia. Walked along the bastions on top of Dalt Vila in the dark enjoying the views, the warm evening and... silence.

Dalt Vila at night was magical - the tranquility on top is such a contrast to the busy streets outside the walls packed with people, cafe tables and shops and the equally busy Placa de la Vila. Since then, every time I visit Ibiza, I go on top of Dalt Vila and soak up the atmosphere - it never gets old.

My sightseeing bucket list included "visiting a club", so having consulted Ibiza Spotlight (yes!!!) for the party calendar, I went to Tunnel Trance Force at Privilege. Wasn't really memorable (except for a bottle of water costing 11€ in the club), and I wasn't in the mood for partying, so spent an hour or so listening to their fast trancy music, then called it a night - this bucket list item was done, and that's what counted.





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Wow! Love the pics here!
 
Really enjoying this thread! It’s really nice to see everyone with common themes too.

I often think people who have never visited the island don’t understand why I have the love for Ibiza that I do. One of the best things about getting married In Ibiza was bringing 73 guests along for the party, many who hadn’t been before. Since then many of them have either gone back or are booked to visit again and my nan said it was the best week of her life- and she hadn’t dabbled in any of the local “ delicacies” so was speaking from the heart! Essentially what I’m trying to say is, its nice when people just “ get it””
 
Harry29 said:
I often think people who have never visited the island don’t understand why I have the love for Ibiza that I do. One of the best things about getting married In Ibiza was bringing 73 guests along for the party, many who hadn’t been before. Since then many of them have either gone back or are booked to visit again and my nan said it was the best week of her life- and she hadn’t dabbled in any of the local “ delicacies” so was speaking from the heart! Essentially what I’m trying to say is, its nice when people just “ get it””
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THIS!

I also got married in Ibiza, in 2015, and friends & family who hadn't visited Ibiza before all fell in love with the island and couldn't believe how beautiful it was.

I first visited Ibiza in 2002. At the time, I went out clubbing in Glasgow most weekends (The Arches, Sub Club's temporary venues, Art School, Riverside Social, Soundhaus...) but previously thought Ibiza was just going to be commercial dance music - due to 'those' CD compilations advertised on TV - and full of people getting wasted in the streets, due to Ibiza Uncovered. I certainly didn't appreciate how stunning and cultural the island was, and what an incredible history it has.

It wasn't until a couple of friends, whose opinions I trusted, convinced me to visit. The previous summer, in 2001, we had visited Kos Town in Greece as we are interested in culture and historical sites. Whilst we enjoyed exploring the island, the music & nightlife were absolutely terrible and we thought how nice it would be to visit somewhere which combined natural beauty, good weather, cultural sites, great food and drink but also with our kind of music and parties. So, we visited in September 2002, staying in the Squash in PDB (as on more of a budget in those days!) and haven't looked back - this August will be our 19th visit to Ibiza.
 
tclubber said:
Thanks for a great thread - an excellent occasion to go through old photos and relive the memories!

My first time was in September of 2004 for 4 nights, stayed at the hotel Argos in Talamanca. Me being a travel junkie, this was planned not as a beach/nightlife vacation at all, but as a quick sightseeing trip. I didn't know back then I would later return to Ibiza again and again, so I tried to visit all attractions during that trip (and failed even at that). So I didn't enjoy it that much back then, and my first Ibiza trip was by far the worst one.

If you are an Ibiza virgin, don't repeat my mistakes and don't cram too much sightseeing into your calendar - attractions won't run away, you can visit them years later on subsequent trips to the island :)

Day 1

Arrived, picked up my rental car, drove West along the coast to Es Cubells, Cala d'Hort, Cala Vadella, enjoyed some tremendous views from the road.

From there, drove via St. Josep back to Ibiza Town and checked in at my hotel in Talamanca. Tried swimming at Talamanca - yuck! Drove to Cala Boix for swimming, enjoyed the waves. It's still one of my favorite beaches on the island.

Was a very hot day with some fine sand blown over from the Sahara desert which covered all parked cars.





Day 2

Drove to Portinatx, then snorkeled at Cala Xarraca (got bitten by jellyfish), then on to Port de Sant Miquel (and an excursion to Cova Can Marca). Went to Benirras from there (horrible parking). Then returned to the hotel and took a small boat across the harbor to Ibiza Town (the boat stopped at El Divino underway, IIRC). Walked through busy pedestrian streets by the port, entered Dalt Vila through the main portal, randomly walked uphill through the maze of streets until I arrived at the cathedral. Before the trip, I had read about powerful lasers from the big clubs in San Rafel illuminating the sky, but this must have been before my time on Ibiza, I only saw a bright colored spotlight shining from Amnesia. Walked along the bastions on top of Dalt Vila in the dark enjoying the views, the warm evening and... silence.

Dalt Vila at night was magical - the tranquility on top is such a contrast to the busy streets outside the walls packed with people, cafe tables and shops and the equally busy Placa de la Vila. Since then, every time I visit Ibiza, I go on top of Dalt Vila and soak up the atmosphere - it never gets old.

My sightseeing bucket list included "visiting a club", so having consulted Ibiza Spotlight (yes!!!) for the party calendar, I went to Tunnel Trance Force at Privilege. Wasn't really memorable (except for a bottle of water costing 11€ in the club), and I wasn't in the mood for partying, so spent an hour or so listening to their fast trancy music, then called it a night - this bucket list item was done, and that's what counted.





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Great review and loving the old photos, from a time when people kept photos real and didn't filter em like mad.
 
CasaNegron said:
This is a good exercise as this was now 17 years ago next week. A lot of drinking that fateful weekend!!!

Day #2 began laying on the beach trying to sleep. This was the beach in front of PlastiK before they built the wide promenade that is there today.
It must have been about 10am, but the sun was already out and it was hot!!! This was 2003 and apparently one of the hottest summers in Europe in 70 years. I was exhausted from not sleeping the previous night but I was also I was worried about getting my things taken so I used my backpack as a pillow. Europeans are known for your pickpocket skills, whereas in the USA we are more of a smash and grab society!!! I know when I am about to get punched, but am not so prepared for slight of hand. This made me a bit tense as I had all my cash, cards and passport in one place. Anyway, this was my first time on a proper Spanish beach and all I could see were bare breasts!!! I was in heaven. Between my paranoia, 23 y/o libido and the heat there was no napping this morning.

One of the things I didn't know at the time was the "Ibiza Effect" where everyone is always in a good mood and talkative. Even though I was alone I quickly met people. A couple of British girls began to talk to me. I was on work assignment in Derby, England at the time, and there realized my advantage as I was considered an "exotic" foreigner with an American accent. This gave me a bit more confidence than normal when speaking to women. One of the girls was a smooth talking Londoner that seemed mildly interested and let me know that she and her friend were staying at Picis Park which was right around the corner from my hotel. My hotel, I forget the name, but it is now called "The White Apartments" above Plastik/ Flaherty's Irish Pub. I took mental note that it was pretty close to our place. By the time I was done talking to them it was afternoon and I was able to check into the hotel and I was able to put my luggage (backpack) away and clean up.

A few hours later, my Friend "G" from the US arrives but has bad news. His luggage was lost and was at the airport in Madrid or Barcelona, so the first order of business was to find him some clothes and toiletries. After getting him some shorts and a couple of T-shirts we stop at the infamous WIPS and pick up some supplies. We get an bottle of Bacardi Lemon and some soda and sit directly out in front on the plastic chairs and proceed to drink the entire bottle in 2 hours. I can still handle my drink today, and my constitution was even stronger back then (fresh out of University), but I was also working on NO SLEEP, so this was not going to turn out well. My buddy "G" was fresh off a transatlantic flight so he was not going to fare much better... I had been alone in Europe for about 4 months up to that point and it was nice to have a familiar face to chat with. The drinks flowed
and my alpha/wolf tendencies began to show. We became loud, obnoxious Americans speaking to strangers passersby. At one point I grabbed the most obese girl in the plaza and put her on my lap. While we were entertained, I am sure we were also entertaining for most everyone else there. Eventually, the bottle was empty and right on time the London girl I met earlier magically appeared...

She invited us back to her hotel, which was an adventure, as were were not allowed to visit as guests (apparently). She had to sneak us upstairs. Her girlfriend from the beach was on the couch and largely uninterested, so she ushered us off onto the balcony. It is really hazy how it happened, but both "G" and I began kissing this girl in broad daylight removing her clothes. I cant remember if this balcony faced other hotel balconies or random local residences, but I recall people directly opposite of us. Eventually, "G" was on one end of her and I was on the other and things were about to happen. As I prepared to put my cock in her mouth (and "G" about to do his thing behind) she came to her senses and said "this was too much, too fast". She apparently didn't like the idea of being in a threesome at 4pm in view of others (who knew girls didn't like that). Being the gentlemen we are, we asked "are you really sure" a couple of times. Eventually seeing ourselves out.

"G" and I go back to the hotel to process what just (almost) happened. He had only been on island about 3 hours at that point, but the alcohol was already taking its toll. At some point we got separated and I went back to the beach in front of the hotel (because it worked out so well the 1st time). This time a South African answered the call. This girl was pretty, but looked a bit rough in a badly sunburned hippie kind of way. In any case, I was almost blackout drunk and horny so I wasn't picky. I actually took her to dinner at the Chinese restaurant at the bottom of the west end. I remember wondering if the shark fin soup actually had shark fin in it. After dinner, the girl said she wanted to hang out, but I remember being slightly worried about my friend "G", so I wanted to get back to the room. This was before cellphone were so popular, and you actually had to find people. We made plans to meet at a specific time later that night at Plastik. Before we parted, she asked if I could "score her some coke". I had never purchased drugs before in my life and never tried cocaine, but agreed just the same.

I get back to the room, and "G" is still no place to be seen. I am exhausted and starting to feel hungover, despite having and entire a hearty bowl of soup to myself for the day. I thought I would lay down for a nap. When I opened my eyes I realized hours had passed ("G" was still gone) , I looked at my watch and missed my "date" with the grungy South-African girl. Unfazed, I thought she would be hanging out at Plastik. In anticipation, I go downstairs and sheepishly approached and asked a couple of people about cocaine... no luck. Probably for the better. I bump into the smooth Londoner from afternoon's near-orgy, she said she was looking for us. Normally this would have been welcome news, but at that point I was spent, and "G" was still missing in action.

I end the night back in my hot room alone, and have the most uncomfortable night of sleep on the most uncomfortable bed in my life, and "G" was still gone...


Day #3 will come when I have some more time....
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Mate this is fcuking brilliant ?? looking forward to the rest

As if that girl didn't want a threesome at 4pm, how very selfish of her. Did she not realise how far you had travelled :confused:

I think I understand your 'exotic foreigner' experience ?

At my first posting in the Army I shared a room with a lad from an island called St Vincents in the Caribbean.

We became bezzies because I really liked drinking rum and he always had rum ?

I brung him to Newcastle for the weekend as he really wanted to see my home town. I was slightly concerned, as at the time it wasn't a very cosmopolitan city and I don't think I'd ever seen or met a black person at all when I was growing up.

I needn't have worried though, he was an absolute celebrity for the weekend everyone loved him especially the ladies. Especially!?
 
@Harry29 Brilliant mate, fcuking brilliant! ?

And everyone else, I love reading your Ibiza memories ?

I’ll keep mine very short too, I’ve been known to ramble and thread drift massively (sorry mods I'm a top offender ?)

Randomly booked Ibiza with a group of my best mates. Think it was 2012? None of us had been before, apart from my younger brother. Thinking back I’m sure he steered us towards it (of course he fcuking did the crafty little rascal lol)

Not going to lie, I had mixed feelings about it. I wasn’t quite sure if Ibiza was for me as the place certainly has a reputation! Based purely on watching Kevin & Perry and Ibiza Uncovered etc. I didn't actually think people went to Ibiza anymore and I thought dance music had kind of fizzled out and became too mainstream (how fcuking wrong was I)

Anyway, just the actual act alone of booking Ibiza put a massive buzz amongst my mates and we went out to celebrate it by getting extremely drunk in Newcastle. One of my besties has got ADHD (we’ll call him Dave, because that’s his actual name. Everyone has a mad mate called Dave don't they?) and he told pretty much everyone we met that night that we had booked up Ibiza for a week. Even got a shout from a DJ in one bar ‘big shout out to Davey and boys heading out to Ibiza in July!!!! Oi Oi!!!!’ I think everyone Newcastle knew we were going to Ibiza.

My missus was keen for me to get away and unwind a bit with my mates. I’d been doing the hard yards in the Middle East for a good few years. That shit grinds you down a bit and strangles your soul. Plus she reckoned I’m one of the sensible ones in my group of friends so they would need me to look out for them. How she worked that out I’ll never know, but who am I to argue with my missus! A 7 day pass. Worth it just for peace and quiet lol.

So anyway we caught the early o’clock flight from Newcastle. Compulsory pints of loudmouth soup in the airport bar and the whole flight was buzzing with Ibiza party people. I’d never seen anything like this before!

The airport in Ibiza had a real crazy buzz about it too, it actually made me start to buzz as well even though I had no fcuking idea why as it was my first time here! We jumped on our coach and some younger lads from Walker (an extremely rough part of Newcastle) that I recognised from footy years ago were already getting on the charlie! How they got it there I don’t know, they must of smuggled it over from the UK? There's a time and place for this sort of thing! One of them got a massive noseblled and it was dribbling all over. I handed him an empty carrier bag as it's all I had. Had me wondering what I was letting myself in for here ?

We checked in to our hotel in San An, it was called the Costa Mar (now known as WiKiWoo) and it was a club 18-30 hotel. In the weeks leading up to the holiday we had been winding ADHD Dave up. We all went to school together but he was a few years older than us. He'd been held back a few years due to his ADHD (and also because he was a mental c***) so this put him above 30 and we'd been telling him he was going to get knocked back from the hotel due to being overage. He was bricking it haha. They let him in anyway. I pulled the short straw and shared a room with him as the lads all know hes a horendous snorer. Room was decent, on the frist floor. Sea view as well and I noticed a discarded condom hard baked onto roof of the gazebo thing directly below us ?

Anyway I realise I'm seriously starting to waffle on here so I'll summarise my fondest memories:

  • First night = massive blow out. Dave the Rave was off his nut on MDMA he bought from a lookie lookie. He went AWOL from us and spent nearly all his holiday money at the strippers in San An. The next day at the pool he was constantly going on about a certain stripper that he had fallen for. Told us all how he was going to put his best shirt on and go back to see her, and tell her how he really feels about her etc etc. I think I nearly drowned in the pool from a laughing attack I had upon hearing this. The lads ripped him (and still do) mercilessly over it. I subbed him around 300 bucks as a bail out and talked him out of going back to the strip joint.

  • Coincidentally my younger cousin was working in San An that summer, she asked me to bring her some trainer socks over. Was great to see her, and she told me about the really good pills this summer that were Love Heart shaped and sort of orange in colour and she could get me plenty. I was like 'Woah! Steady on kiddo' hadn't touched them for years and I had my Missus's words ringing in my ears 'oh you're going to Ibiza are you? You'll be necking pills and reaching for the lasers all week lol'. 'of course I bloody wont!' I told her. Well, to cut a long one short I was back on the phone to my cousin the next day and before I knew it I was carrying out the biggest drug deal in my life in a chippy next to the Ship boozer at the top of the west end. The lads nominated me as the link man. My cousin gave me the number for this guy that sounded like a real tough guy on the phone, but turns out he was a skinny kid about 19 or something. You could of knocked him clean out with a left jab I reckon. I walked back down through the West End with my pocket on fcuking fire, and met my mates in a boozer and got a heros welcome. Did we have a good time? Fcuking yes! Should we have taken pills every night? Probably not!

  • My younger brother was our official guide for the holiday, his knowledge from a couple of Ibiza holidays previously was priceless. However, he unceremoniously earned himself the nickname 'The Costa Mar Rat' on this holiday. You always get a couple of lads in your group that are the good looking ones that think they could probably pull Mrs World. Well that's my brother and his mate. You know the kind with their fancy hairdos, snazzy dress sense, witty charm, chiselled abs and all that fcuking shit. (not sure I'm actually fully related to him if I'm honest). Well anyway we met a bunch of Irish girls and every single one of them was beautiful, and also really nice-natured too with great Irish accents. So my bro and his mate were straight in amongst them. They went back to their hotel for a party and whatever else. The rest of the lads never really got a look in sadly (fact of life I suppose). So come the next day at the pool some new girls had arrived from Scotland. I'm going to be honest here, these young ladies were very easy on the eye and did indeed have some fine conversation. They were studying at University and had IQ's beyond anything I could fathom. Well, as you can imagine our two cock rockets were straight in amongst them giving them the patter. They took them off on a day time party to PDB and to see Avicci at Ushaia, leaving me and the ugly squad back in San An. Fair play I thought, good on you's. That was until I was enjoying my first pint later that evening, minus our two heart throbs that were still missing in action, and was confronted by the now very scornful Irish girls! My brother and his mate had got busted by them down PDB and it had turned into a bit of a cat fight between the Scottish and Irish girls! I didn't know whether to be secretly proud or outraged! Never in my life have I ever had women fighting over me, although both sets of these girls were so nice I thought my brother and his mate were total dicks for trying to pull off some shit like this. My brother was due to get married next month (postponed due to the 'Rona) with yours truly as the best man, I was definitely going to include the Costa Mar Rat story in my speech and watch him cringe hard lol.
 
  • Around 3 days in Dave the Rave had a bit of a meltdown and was thinking of going home early. The lads were ripping him endlessly. He was pretty badly sunburnt too. Also he told me he had run out of t shirts to wear, and in his meltdown state this was causing him great concern. Even though he told me he had brung enough for every day, I couldn't work out how he'd run out of them. I think at the time I was the only one in the group that had a kid, so I felt duty bound to try and help him out and cheer him up. Ended up lending him 3 of my tshirts and boosting his ego by telling him the other lads were just jealous of him, and he was the ultimate party animal here, everyone else are boring cunts, if he goes home I'll go home too etc. Only problem we had here was that I weigh about 75kgs max and he is an ex roid head with shoulders like king kong. My tshirts looked extremely well fitted on him, to say the least. It worked though, he was buzzing as he thought it made him look ripped. Dave the Rave was back in the game! Result!

  • We spotted that bungee ball thing next to Es Paradis. My mates were straight on my case daring me to go on it. I couldn't actually believe the audacity of some of them, I was a serving soldier in the Airborne Brigade at the time. This was an absolute doddle! I went on it effortlessly and took my brother too, he's a really competitive lad and never shys away. Some of my mates couldn't believe it, they were actually bricking it just watching. I piled the pressure on them to go on too. They looked bloody terrified, but they did it lol. Once they'd overcome the initial fear, they kept going back on it again and again (it gets cheaper the more you go on it - clever business plan that) Felt like I was at the park with a bunch of kids lol. The complimentary DVDs we got were hilarious, watching the expression on the lads faces. ADHD Dave was shitting his pants the most and the operator guy played a cruel trick on him. The guy noticed Davey was literally shaking like a leaf, so started talking him down really calmly all the way up until he was bolted and strapped into the seat. He then started to explain to Dave slowly how he was going to press the button after a countdown and it was all really easy blah blah blah. Anyway the guy pressed the button mid sentence when Davey wasn't expecting it and he went shooting up towards the moon at 500mph with the daftest look on his face and screaming for his life ?!!!! A pretty cunning trick but it was fcuking hilarious watching the DVD ? his face is priceless. He later destroyed the DVD, from shame I think.

  • We got that disco bus across to PDB one night, what a mad laugh. A big group of scousers got on and I have nothing against my Merseyside brothers, but these lads were all out bell ends and really killed the mood. I'm sure they were normally decent lads but they really seamed to go out of their way to act like arseholes this night. They kept banging on the windows and roof. The driver obviously got pissed off, stopped the bus and came to tell them to tone it down a bit. They fcuked him straight off, poor bloke. As he carried on driving, and this will always stick in my head, they were all banging and singing really loudly 'SCOUSERS SCOUSERS ON THE BUS!!' over and fcuking over. Was fcuking tedious and totally killed the vibe. The driver pulled in a little further along the road. There was a group of really shifty looking Spanish blokes waiting in a lay-by pretty much in the middle of nowhere (on that road along by Amnesia knowing what I know now). They weren't messing about, they came straight on the bus and hauled all the scousers off and faced zero resistance as they did. Some were in those green combat uniforms, I think they are some sort of local police force? We just sat in total silence. As the bus pulled off some cheeky chappie started singing 'SCOUSERS SCOUSERS OFF THE BUS!' and everyone joined in at full volume and the driver was fist pumping as he drove along, it was bloody hilarious ? Its hard to put into words, obviously you had to be there lol. The main thing I took away from this was never to mess the locals around.

  • We decided one day that it would be a good laugh to go on those mini rubber rings that are pulled by a speedboat. I fully admit that I totally underestimated this event. I very naively thought this would be a pleasant ride and assumed it would be a piece of piss. We suited up in the life jackets and we were all full of ourselves. A random girl came with us, as her mates weren't so keen and she really wanted to go on it. well, the speedboat pilot set off nice and steady, but then he absolutely f***ing boosted it to about mach10! Holy fcuking shit!!! I was hanging on for my life!!! I was using every muscle in my body just to remain on this rubber ring that was getting pummelled! Davey was the first one to come flying off, he went about 10 foot in the air and I sort of watched it happen in slow motion!! I was actually horrified as the pilot just kept ploughing on!! The girl came flying off next!! This was mental. The boat slowed down and went back around and picked them up, and then relentlessly ploughed on for more torture!! By the time we got back to the beach we were all in absolute shit state. I felt like I'd been beaten up. We all had shocked looks on our faces. I remember the boat driver smiling and waving at us and saying something in broken English like 'Good time yes?'

  • I think that same night we were in Space (what I would give to go back) and we were trying out these orange Love Heart pills. Obviously I was a bit concerned for the lads so I made a point of asking round if they were all happy enough and there was no pressure to take them and go easy start on a half, I mean I was a bit 50/50 myself but I thought fcuk it I'm in Ibiza. So anyway about half an hour in one of the lads wasn't looking too clever. He'd told me he takes them all the time and knows the craic. So here he is against the wall sweating profusely like someone is literally pouring a watering can over his head! Asked him if he was ok and he gave me a positive thumbs up, although he definitely wasn't ok as I could read his face like a book. The other lads had clicked by now as well and were around him keeping him calm. This was blatantly his first time and it was coming up on him hard. I told the other lads to keep an eye on him and I'd go and get us a few bottles of cold water (about 60 bucks worth ffs). At the same time I was thinking to myself and wondering if there was something dodgy in these pills? Why is it hitting him first? Why no one else? Why am I not feeling it? And why the fcuk did I think it was a good idea to get these bloody things? Well, as I walked up to the bar suddenly this little magic bean started working its funky magic on me! Fuuuuuuuck!!! I was body popping like a dancing flower pot! I felt like I was a blow up balloon and someone was trying to twist me into an animal shape at a kids party! Holy fcuking shit!!! Glided back across to my mates and it had all hit them as well lol. They were all greeting me with over the top man hugs and hand shakes as if we hadn't seen each other for decades lol. I was handing out bottles of water like Jesus Christ feeding the 5000. This was the start of a bloody great night.

  • Getting back to the hotel and trying to sleep after this was impossible. I was sharing a room with Ravey Davey. He couldn't settle, so told me he was going to the shop nearby to get some haribos. He was away ages and I was having minor halucinations on the ceiling but I eventually drifted off. I woke to the sound of chatter and here was Dave back in the room accompanied by our new best friends, the Irish girls! What the fcuk! I thought I was hallucinating and tried to go back to sleep! I was not hallucinating. The girls had been coming in from a night out as well and spotted Davey, and being the gentleman that he is he had invited them to the room for a drink. Cheers Dave you muppet. They were still baying for my brothers blood, and thought they might catch him here. Luckily he was still down PDB with the other lad, they didn't return till around midday. I apologised on his behalf, again, and told them they were all lovely girls and not to fall for such tw@ts like my brother. They actually quite warmed to us and we ended up having a good chat and a laugh.
 
  • After this we did what anyone would do in this situation. Yes, we went for a swim in the sea ?‍♂️ This was Daveys suggestion. He was still gurning his face off. Everyone was up for it so I thought I better go along too. Nothing really to report apart from it was freezing and it felt very refreshing. The girls were mainly laughing at Dave and his third degree gurns. A woman started shouting at us from the beach, we had swam quite far out. We quickly realised what she was trying to alert us about, there was a bloke grabbing some of our clothes and making off. I immediately swam for the shore but I noticed he stopped and threw something on the floor, before scarpering. Turns out he'd found Daveys phone. He'd brung a really old Alcatel phone out with him as a spare. He'd literally just got a brand new iphone a few weeks before the holiday, but it had some problems so he put it back into the shop for a repair, hence the temporary brick lol. This would be thief was probably ecstatic thinking he'd robbed some major swag, then really mortified to discover it was an absolute relic ?

  • We were in a boozer on the strip one night down PDB. I can't remember the name of it, but it had girls dancing like strippers but they didn't actually get naked. We kept Davey on a tight leash in here lol. Anyway one of the lads came back from the toilet with a face like thunder. Told us some gay bloke had tried it on with him. I don't know what reaction he was expecting but we all burst out laughing at him. I think he instantly regretted telling us. We were saying things like 'oh I thought you were away a long time pal'. He made it worse for himself by obviously embellishing it a bit, saying this gay bloke was a 6 foot tall black muscly guy in a vest ?‍♂️ We spent the rest of the holiday getting easy bites from him, asking him what time his boyfriend was picking him up or if he was meeting him later ? he was snapping back every time lol. Our official holiday anthem ever since has been 'Careless Whisper' lol, we always request it whenever we can in a bar if he's out with us.

  • Towards the end of the holiday some really young girls arrived at the hotel, from Leeds-Halifax. To me they seemed about 14 or something, but they were actually 18/19. We sort of took them under our wing for a few days. I warned off the two love rats not to fcuk around as I was a bit pissed off with them still for creating a shit atmosphere earlier on, and to be fair they didn't try anything. I had one daughter at the time and I think my parental instinct kicked in a little as these girls looked so vulnerable out here. Was quite funny listening to them winge on about school etc I had literally nothing to talk to them about lol. When they found out I was in the Army I suddenly became a fascination for them and they bombarded me with questions about Iraq and Afghanistan. I felt quite star struck or something and a little embarrassed to be honest, it wasn't something I generally mentioned or talked about back then. We caught up with them one night early doors down the Wezza. I think they were spurred on by our stories from the nights out earlier in the holiday that the lads had been sharing with them and had somehow got hold of some pills and decided to take them early in the night down the west end! Well it was blowing their minds and they were off the map ? One of them wasn't quite enjoying it though and was having some sort of panic/anxiety attack! We sat her down on a bench outside and got her some cold water to sip. Sat with her for about 3 hours and heard pretty much every single story from her whole life, my ears were fcuking bleeding lol. Her mates were still dancing in that bar at the bottom of the West End. We reunited them and they were all good, then we got a taxi ourselves off to Amnesia I think. The next day at the pool they were a bit sheepish, but in good spirits. The young girl for some reason thought that she was going to die that night, and that I saved her life ?‍♂️ She told everyone this! Fcuk knows, maybe it was an extreme experience for her and she'd had a sheltered upbringing. She still messages me now every month or so on facebook asking how I'm doing and asking about my daughters ? Shes bagged herself a rich boyfriend by the look of it, as they are always on fancy holidays around the world (pre Covid) but I don't think shes been back to Ibiza yet haha.

  • Watching the sunset at Cafe Mambo!!! Why didn't I already know about this! My brother dragged us down there on the first night and we grabbed a bag of tinnies and took our spot on the rocks. Going to admit I wasn't too enthusiastic about this lovey dovey watching the sunset bollocks. I wasn't prepared for how awesome this was! I remember the DJ neabry playing 'Missing' by Everything But The Girl. The place was absolutely packed out. I think the hair on the back of my neck stood up.

  • The hotel staff were really chill. I think as long as you weren't diving off the balconies or smashing the place up they generally let you crack on and enjoy yourself. However, we came back to the hotel one evening to find a bit of a commotion in the foyer and some heated conversations between the manager and a group of lads from Glasgow. They were a sound bunch of lads and I found out later what had happened. They bought a load of bottles of beer/lager at a nearby shop and decided to dunk them in their bathtub and fill it up with cold water to keep them chilled. They were heading out somewhere and thought that the water would warm up while they were out and their beer would end up warm. So they decided it would be a good idea to leave the plug half cracked and leave the cold tap running, so there was a constant stream of cold water on thee booze. well, apparently the labels went all mushy in the water and slide off the bottles and ended up blocking the plug. The water overflowed and started coming through the ceiling on the room below ?‍♂️ The manager was bloody fuming!
  • We were walking up to the West End one night when a car full of locals (I'm assuming) came cruising past blasting Spanish music. They were all hanging out of the windows and by the time I noticed what was happening we literally had no time at all to make a reaction. It looked like they had stole a load of squeezy kethchup bottles from a cafe and were doing a drive-by shooting at us! Once they'd sped off into the distance we realised by some miracle that they had totally missed us! Not a single drop! Couldn't say the same for a group of girls about 10 meters ahead. They got hit pretty badly, their hair and their clothes ? They sounded like Cockneys and they were raging! 'FAKKIN KANTS!!'

  • Last night of the holiday we went to Amnesia as Calvin Harris was on, and pretty much everyone we had met so far was going to be there too. We went all out! Fcuk it, its the last night. I remember getting into a very tightly packed Amnesia to hear Clavin Harris playing what sounded like pop music ?‍♂️ Definitely not what I was expecting as I had just necked a full Orange Love Heart outside in the que, expecting to walk into some banging house tunes. Fcuk sake Calvin, I was literally minutes away from body popping and he's playing what sounded like a kids party album! My brother dragged us into the next room. Paul Van Dyk was on and the place was rocking ? He saved the night! This was another awesome night!

  • I cut it really fine leaving Amnesia, I honestly didn't want it to end. I remember jumping in an illegal taxi driven by a Dutch kid, and he was driving ridiculously fast in a clapped out Golf. I'd lost most of the other lads and was slightly concerned. Found them all at the hotel and they were flapping big time as the coach was pulling in, all apart from Dave the Rave who's jaw was still half way around his head. We got some stern looks from the passengers on the coach for holding them up and causing loads of drama. I'd given up trying to shepherd the lads by now, 7 days of partying was kicking me squarely in the nuts at this point!

  • The airport going home was horrible. Observed many people in an absolute state, ourselves included. We were all totally worn out and had a sleep on the cold floor. When we had checked in the lady handed all of our passports back to my brother. We made our way to the security check and he handed them out, but for some reason Daveys was missing. My brother just shrugged his shoulders and carried on walking. Davey was outraged and cried out 'Lads! What about me? I want to go home' and actually started crying and blubbing to himself ? (I swear on my daughters lives) Obviously my brother was only joking and gave him his passport back, which he had hidden in his back pocket all the time. Davey reckons to this day still that he was only pretending to cry ?. We couldn't face eating any food at the infamous Burger King so we all slept on the cold floor again next to our check in gate. One of the lads thought he heard our call so he woke us all up and we went and stood by the gate. Turns out he'd misheard it and it wasn't our flight. he got absolutely savaged by us for this, I think we channelled all of our sleepy anger into him. Totally uncalled for, sorry mate ?. The flight home was the polar opposite to the flight out. Total silence. I bet the cabin crew laugh at everyone on these return journeys.
 
Ibiza chewed us up and spat us out. It's a week I'll never forget and I know it sounds corny as fcuk but I genuinely believe it changed my life.

I got home to an empty house and tipped my bag out.

When my lass came in we were really happy to see each other.

I think the first thing she asked was 'Did Davey pull?'

'No did he fcuk' lol

Followed by 'Where's all your t shirts gone?' as she started going through my clothes for the washer.

'Oh, long story' ?‍♂️?

I then spent the next week telling her about all the crazy shenanigans we'd been up to. I thought she wouldn't be really interested, but I think she absorbed how awesome I made it sound and before long I was taking her out for a long weekend. I was really hoping it would have the same effect on her as it did with me. I'm happy to report Ibiza worked its magic on her too!

I've been back every year since, apart from 2015 when I snapped my tibia and fibula in a parachuting accident near Oxford.

Brings us up to 2020 and sadly looks like I will miss out this year due to reasons beyond my control. My hopes for the future is to take my daughters out there and let them experience the magic of the place, and also suddenly realise that I am actually a cool as fcuk Dad!

Apologies, I said I was going to keep it short. I lied.

Today is actually my birthday too. I've made it to the grand age of 37. True to form its torrential rain in Newcastle today and if I hear the words lockdown or coronavirus one more time I think I'm going to have a mental breakdown.

If you've read this far I apologise again for boring you to death.

All the best Spotlight crew ?

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I remember the planning of everything, and then, of course, the cancelling. But most of all I enjoyed coming here. You all have taught me more about Ibiza life and culture than I probably would have learned by going!

I had imagined I would take a certain amount of money to accommodate a luxurious amount of dining each day, as well as at least two fancy club nights; I didn't know where. & I wanted to make sure I had access to a gym (pre-outbreak) so that I could exercise with people. I wanted to walk places, and also be able to speak Spanish; of which there are several varieties, though I'm told Castellano is adequate or not necessarily required as most speak perfect English.

I never really got around to concert/club calendars, but I was distinctly aware that there was an 80s night somewhere; possibly even at the Hard Rock Ibiza where I was planning to stay. Fun times! :)
 
Nice to see people from Newcastle here. I had a few weekend trips to Newcastle before I got to West End in San Antonio for the first time. So imagine my surprise and shock when I went into a side street from the rather quiet Passeig de la Mar and felt like I have been teleported onto Bigg Market on a busy Saturday night. Well, except that the ladies were wearing a little more clothes ?

Happy Birthday @AntonioGeordio!
 
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