50 Shades of Grey

Johnny Vodka

Johnny Vodka

Well-Known Member
Seems compulsory reading for womenfolk... (If one more female friend updates her FB status with a reference to it... :evil:)

So has anyone here read it?

Reviews from anyone who has read anything other than the Mr Men series or Janet & John before all seem to point to it being terribly written. And apparently the shagging is just S&M lite and actually quite tame. :lol:

Thoughts?!
 
I've decided I hate it after my Irish goalkeeper biography '50 Grades of Shay' gag didn't the lols I was expecting:twisted:
 
shane_saintsfc said:
Why don't these women just watch porn? Better than text on paper!
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This. Sex, horror, action - all sorts of things that work better on screen. And descriptions of sex are often notoriously silly on paper. Even acclaimed authors are frequently accused of writing awful sex scenes - hence the 'bad sex awards' or whatever it's called. Sex in books is best when it's more about the psychology and any physical descriptions are sparse.
 
Wifey has been reading whilst on a girls weekend in Spain, every time I have spoken to her she tells me how extraordinarily horny she is due to reading the book and I should be ready for action @ 01:00 on Tuesday:oops::eek::twisted:8):D

fb should have a 50 shades filter, tiresome.
 
I suppose if it makes the wifey randy and up for whatver it can't be such a bad thing :!:

Also I suppose if it gets people who've never read a book before into reading, it's a good thing. Next up: "The Hungry Caterpillar"!
 
As of yesterday, Mrs Jam has all three books (apparently there are three of them).

Waiting for her to get to the randy bits I guess...
 
Buckley said:
I've decided I hate it after my Irish goalkeeper biography '50 Grades of Shay' gag didn't the lols I was expecting:twisted:
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i would have laughed at this.

on that note, the twitter feed 50 shades of andy gray is top draw.

here's a sample to wet the lips:

50ShadesOfAndyGray ‏@50SOAndyGray
“How could you?” she rages as tears piss down her face “My daughter on the day before our wedding!” He shrugs, “away goals count as two.”


After her first time, she picks up her first used condom. He snatches it off her, hurling it out of the open window. “You don't save those!”
 
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ben said:
50ShadesOfAndyGray ‏@50SOAndyGray
“How could you?” she rages as tears piss down her face “My daughter on the day before our wedding!” He shrugs, “away goals count as two.”


After her first time, she picks up her first used condom. He snatches it off her, hurling it out of the open window. “You don't save those!”
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I've just followed and read a few more. They are beyond epic. :lol:
 
ben said:
on that note, the twitter feed 50 shades of andy gray is top draw.
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:lol: :lol:
Thanks for this gem! That should keep me entertained all afternoon :lol: (edit: well, not all afternoon.. he appears to only have 20 tweets so far)

Loved this one:

"How will you do me?" she asks "Doggy? Missionary? Cowgirl?" She begs, craving his answer. He responds confidently, "The Makelele position".
 
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Buckley said:
I've decided I hate it after my Irish goalkeeper biography '50 Grades of Shay' gag didn't the lols I was expecting:twisted:
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good joke

Johnny Vodka said:
Don't type into Google. :lol:
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made me spit out my tea.

Morbyd said:
:lol: :lol:
Thanks for this gem! That should keep me entertained all afternoon :lol: (edit: well, not all afternoon.. he appears to only have 20 tweets so far)

Loved this one:

"How will you do me?" she asks "Doggy? Missionary? Cowgirl?" She begs, craving his answer. He responds confidently, "The Makelele position".
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Haha will have to check out the links.
 
50 shades of Chav.

"As he approached with those pasty white arms hanging out of his Gola vest, his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my velour tracksuit would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight..."

Another extract from my 2nd book 13 flavours of WKD.
"It was Dwayne's birthday. I was preparing his special tea of Findus Crispy Pancakes and Pot Noodle. I would let him take me any way he wanted tonight. His favourite position was what he called The Dogs of War. Where he took me from behind and played Call of Duty at the same time."


More from raunchy Chav fest 13 flavours of WKD.

"Our 6 week anniversary was approaching. This would be my longest relationship without becoming pregnant. I thought of this as he lay on top of me making love. His skinny arms straddled my head like breadsticks either side of an orange. As I rubbed his whiter than white back I imagined every mole I felt was spelling out Braille for I love you"

Last extracts from the final book of the trilogy, My Tan was 11 Shades of Orange.

"As I stood in line at the Job Centre thinking of reasons I couldn't work, a sweet smell drifted past my pig like nostrils. It was a mixture of weed, B.O. and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dwayne. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind the Iceland. He had tied up his Staffy to block the alley way so we wouldn't be disturbed. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the mystery. I knew it was love and my life would never be the same."

Final extract from the book 12 Shades of my Fake Tan.

"My mum had told me to leave Dwayne many times due to the violence but I knew he loved me as he always took his rings off before he hit me. Tonight though he was in a foul mood, I had ****ed his tea up after failing to de-frost his prawn ring I had nicked from farmfoods. He picked up the power lead from my kid's mega drive and whipped it across my doughy arse. It stung but I liked it. I shouted again again so he carried on. I thought my shell suit would rip into a million pieces. As I looked over my shoulder I saw his Weetabix toothed smile. He even had a semi on which rare as the crack normally played havoc with his erections"
 
WeLuvIbiza said:
fb should have a 50 shades filter, tiresome.
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^^ This. And a filter for all the only way is essex references too while they're at it.

When it first burst onto the scene (excuse the pun) i actually borrowed a work's colleagues and read the first dozen or so pages (before the juicy stuff in case your wondering) and it is appallingly written. Really, really bad.

Fair play to the author. She has created this mass hysteria with a poor piece of literature if you ask me. The sexual content is obviously what has turned it into a best seller.

But these kind of books have been around for decades, gawd knows why this one suddenly has the momentum of a runaway freight train?!
 
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