Would it be wrong?

OllieNotts

OllieNotts

Well-Known Member
To buy plane tickets to Ibiza for the opening parties, then tell the mrs that you won a competition for a one person Ibiza weekender type trip and go on your own so you don't a bollocking for leaving here behind with the kids? It is free after all isn't it? :lol:
Seriously contemplating doing this if I can sneak the air fare in without her noticing and just blagging a free trip comp win as a reason why. Need to do the opening and closing parties before I am too old :)
 
Don't you and the wife sit down and study the bank statements together?

It's a highlight for all relationships surely?
 
^^ Men have wised up since those days .... having discovered that in every woman's mind what's hers is hers and what's his is hers too ;) Best approach to insist that she has her own bank account for those 'non-household' indulgences which you ask nothing about and contribute nothing to. Make it as sacresanct as her handbag. Then you are perfectly justified in having one of your own with online statements only for your e-bay revenues, betting wins and .. er .. any other sundry incomes :p
 
She spends my money easily enough without sharing a bank! Not that I've got any spare case anyway :lol: I mentioned last night I entered a comp for opening party weekend free trip for one etc she bought it :D now if I can book flights and hotel over new few months on the sly or cheap then I will just ring her and tell her someone phoned me to say I've won 8)
 
why cant people just be honest in relationships? I regualarly ring my fella to tell him I've booked some form of holiday away...Dec it was 3 days to Tenerife with 9 blokes from work (I ended up staying 5 haha), last week it was Ibiza at the end of January to go stay with another guy mate, this week it was to go Madrid with the guys from work to watch utd in champions league...

If he dared query it I would just tell him to do one.
 
I've already been twice without her and we have three kids at home so it'd be extremely selfish :lol: I don't think she'd mind at all if we were loaded but after financial melt down this year with 2 months of 7 of us under my parents roof she might be annoyed if I decide to jet off and leave her at home with the kids again. The pull of the island makes me need a trip to look forward to. He he
 
OllieNotts said:
I've already been twice without her and we have three kids at home so it'd be extremely selfish :lol: I don't think she'd mind at all if we were loaded but after financial melt down this year with 2 months of 7 of us under my parents roof she might be annoyed if I decide to jet off and leave her at home with the kids again. The pull of the island makes me need a trip to look forward to. He he
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in which case I think you're being selfish! Sorry!
 
wednesday23 said:
in which case I think you're being selfish! Sorry!
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.... and that's exactly why none of the women in my life knew I was going abroad for short trips for years - didn't want to have every trip surrounded by arguments about how selfish I was and didn't want any of them with me either !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
kimajy said:
.... and that's exactly why none of the women in my life knew I was going abroad for short trips for years - didn't want to have every trip surrounded by arguments about how selfish I was and didn't want any of them with me either !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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My fella can go where he wants when he wants, but if we had a family and were short of money and he wanted to leave me with 3 kids to go on a holiday I don't think it would be fair! Same as me going away on short trips regularly, I tell him after I book, but it's completely my money I'm spending as our finances our seperate, and I don't need him to look after any kids when I'm away!
 
i think the approach with the lie is the wrong one. no one is perfect, we've all lied in the past and we also know truth often comes out at a certain point and i'm not sure you'd want to face this situation.

in a perfect world, your wife would understand you just need to do it - partying your socks off for a few days, away from all the worries of the everyday life and everyone involved. even with financial issues and such - maybe especially because of this. in a perfect world you'd then take her out shopping till your credit card glows, or anything else that makes her happy and you maybe don't completely understand or agree to, but you're happy doing it.
 
There is nothing wrong with taking off on your own on holidays when in a relationship, but if you don't even have money to provide for basic needs for your family ( shelter!!) then no, you should not sneak off on holiday!

What if she snuck off and lied about the money she spent? The main issue is the lying!

Clubbing is not a basic need!
 
kimajy said:
.... and that's exactly why none of the women in my life knew I was going abroad for short trips for years - didn't want to have every trip surrounded by arguments about how selfish I was and didn't want any of them with me either !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Do you actually think this idea is not selfish?? Lying and leaving behind someone with three kids (and in financial difficulty)!
 
Ffs typical I get completely misunderstood by a woman! I never said we were poor, just that we aren't wealthy. If I were to jet off it wouldn't be at the expense of leaving them short Im not that bad :lol: If I were to fund the package on the sly cheaply and the kids were looked after at home and not going without then I don't see what the problem is.
Thing is she's a diamond, but not sure if she'd react kindly as I said. If I won the trip though I think she'd be happier to let me go without giving me a hard time for leaving the kids again :D
 
OllieNotts said:
Ffs typical I get completely misunderstood by a woman! I never said we were poor, just that we aren't wealthy. If I were to jet off it wouldn't be at the expense of leaving them short Im not that bad :lol: If I were to fund the package on the sly cheaply and the kids were looked after at home and not going without then I don't see what the problem is.
Thing is she's a diamond, but not sure if she'd react kindly as I said. If I won the trip though I think she'd be happier to let me go without giving me a hard time for leaving the kids again :D
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Put on your big boy pants...... You asked! You are lying to your wife and then get annoyed when you don't get confirmation on a public forum. As long as you are fine with your wife being deceitful to you, then go for it!
 
Im not annoyed Im just asking for opinion on an idea. I thought there'd be more understanding to the humour to which it was posted with but I guess not :D are you a yank?
 
Sorry if it isn't clear but we are in a house now and do have money to live on. I wouldn't be leaving any one short and it's only to stop her whining on about leaving her with the kids, 4 days free from a comp would totally change her out look on the trip.....don't you think?
:lol:
 
Not sure why you're asking the question as it strikes me you already know it's "wrong" and are just looking for validation from us lot...! That said, if you're going to ask, man-up and be prepared for the backlash ! Wouldn't it make for a better relationship all round if you just gave up the lies and talked about it. As nostrum points out, there's a strong chance you might have to deal with the downside later which will be a lot harder than having that conversation upfront. Why not offer (in return for a chance to go to Ibiza) to stay home with the kids at some point so that she gets a few days off to do something she really wants ?
 
utagaura said:
Do you actually think this idea is not selfish?? Lying and leaving behind someone with three kids (and in financial difficulty)!
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I don't think OllieNotts is in that position. But I can completely understand his approach. Some women may say they don't mind but they almost always want to be "paid off" for you going away (even if they don't want to come and you look after stuff for them now and again so they can have what they want). I cannot stand the pouting, "holding things over you", wanting stuff in return for agreeing and bringing up what you've had for yourself at any opportunity. That's why I can't cohabit with a partner even to this day.

I think what he's saying is the little sweetener spin on the situation might help sugar the pill and is that so bad ? I've done far worse to be fair and still don't feel guilty because of the way the women involved clock, measure and keep scorecards. If they didn't do that I would be open and honest. It's something about the female nature which leads men to deception and most men are by nature self-oriented whatever they pretend. It's just the way we are !!!!!

Not saying it's right or that if she ever finds out there won't be endless grief of mammoth proportions which you have to be willing to shoulder (I'm dealing with a mountain of that at the moment myself, all brought on my own head - so no sympathy expected and I'm certain none forthcoming !). However I can completely understand OllieNotts's rationale and I cannot criticize him or shoot him down for it.
 
my missus can't wait to get rid of me for a few days...guess that doesn't help, but she always wants me to come back, which might help a bit
 
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