puppylover
Active Member
People who say 'it's the luck of the draw' usually did better in the draw than you.
The loudest, most boisterous muscle mary in the gym will always be the man who pulls his underpants up under his towel.
Treat lesbians with the respect they deserve, after all they make really excellent films.
Never moon at a werewolf.
Elvis is dead, get over it.
You can't outstare an owl - just don't bother.
The longer the hair, the longer the guitar solo.
Space Raiders crisps are the only product that have successfully avoided the effects of inflation.
It's a fine line between 'thinking out of the box' and 'talking out of your arse.'
The more glamorous and exotic the name, the less convincing the tranny.
Anybody who appears on The Apprentice probably has PC World, Pret a Manger or Dixons hidden somewhere on their CV.
Every man has a friend called Big Al or Big Dave.
Jamiroquai fans! Save money by not buying the 'new' Jamiroquai album, realising instead that it's the same turgid, derivative toss as the previous Jamiroquai album, and all the Jamiroquai albums before that.
Never bet on a dog named Tripod.
It's impossible to do a Fred Elliott impression without saying 'I say, I say...'
Everyone owns a Nokia charger.
Girls who drive sports cars very rarely enjoy sex and still call their parents Mummy and Daddy.
Only ugly women are 'online now' on any dating site.
The youngest person you can go out with = half your age + 7.
If you're British, never say 'You do the math.'
If you've ever said: 'I don't drink/do drugs, I'm crazy enough as I am' - kill yourself.
Never play leapfrog with a Unicorn.
Few things in life will bring a feeling of pure joy as much as seeing a telly on a stand being wheeled into your classroom.
The collective term for a group of sl*gs is a 'limousine.'
Gold is worth its weight in gold.
The loudest, most boisterous muscle mary in the gym will always be the man who pulls his underpants up under his towel.
Treat lesbians with the respect they deserve, after all they make really excellent films.
Never moon at a werewolf.
Elvis is dead, get over it.
You can't outstare an owl - just don't bother.
The longer the hair, the longer the guitar solo.
Space Raiders crisps are the only product that have successfully avoided the effects of inflation.
It's a fine line between 'thinking out of the box' and 'talking out of your arse.'
The more glamorous and exotic the name, the less convincing the tranny.
Anybody who appears on The Apprentice probably has PC World, Pret a Manger or Dixons hidden somewhere on their CV.
Every man has a friend called Big Al or Big Dave.
Jamiroquai fans! Save money by not buying the 'new' Jamiroquai album, realising instead that it's the same turgid, derivative toss as the previous Jamiroquai album, and all the Jamiroquai albums before that.
Never bet on a dog named Tripod.
It's impossible to do a Fred Elliott impression without saying 'I say, I say...'
Everyone owns a Nokia charger.
Girls who drive sports cars very rarely enjoy sex and still call their parents Mummy and Daddy.
Only ugly women are 'online now' on any dating site.
The youngest person you can go out with = half your age + 7.
If you're British, never say 'You do the math.'
If you've ever said: 'I don't drink/do drugs, I'm crazy enough as I am' - kill yourself.
Never play leapfrog with a Unicorn.
Few things in life will bring a feeling of pure joy as much as seeing a telly on a stand being wheeled into your classroom.
The collective term for a group of sl*gs is a 'limousine.'
Gold is worth its weight in gold.
