Dear Sir Niall,
I am writing to you on behalf of myself and my business partner – Mark Wilkins. Together we run a successful mortgage brokers, however due to the fact that I am a life long Sunderland fan (West stand season ticket holder) I felt the urge to throw my hat into the ring for the vacant managers job. I am proposing that both myself and Mark come on board as some kind of “dream team” partnership with myself as manager and Mark as director of football.
To give you a little background about us – My career started at the age of six when I regularly turned out for 4th Warwick Cub scouts, at the age of 8 I then moved to Leicester and played every Sunday in the famous red & blue of Sileby Utd Juniors. At the age of 12 my footballing career took me to Chesterfield (well it was actually my dad’s work career which took us there), I enjoyed moderate success for both my school and various local teams and was actually given a trial at Chesterfield FC, unfortunately due to the fact that I was never actually that good, I didn’t get in. It was then that I discovered beer, girls and cigarettes and my playing career slowly dwindled away. I have however kept my eye in over the last 12 years – I am an avid viewer of match of the day and Soccer AM, as well as being highly successful on Football manager where I have transformed Sunderland into all conquering superstars – Highly impressive I am sure you will agree.
Mark was never much of a footballer, he always preferred cricket. He was however some kind of local child chess prodigy, a talent which shows he possess the relevant strategic and tactical knowledge to help our climb up the table. He does however hold a record of 3 games and 3 clean sheets as an emergency keeper for our local pub team.
As I am sure you can see Sir Niall, we both possess the passion, drive and determination to help get our magnificent club back where we belong and we look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours in football,
Jon Stones Mark Wilkins
Clubs reply:
Dear Jon & Mark,
Thankyou very much for your recent interest in the vacant managers position at Sunderland AFC.
As I am sure you can appreciate, the number and calibre of applications for the position has been of a very high standard, and because of this unfortunately we will not be considering your application further.
Again I would like to take this opportunity to thankyou for your application and wish you every success in your future careers.
Yous Sincerely,
Sunderland AFC.
