Promoter language

M

MiniMarc

Well-Known Member
This has slowly been annoying me over the years after 1000's of flyers , ads , invites etc it seems the really average Promoters have come up with their own code or 'PromSpiel' as I like to call it.
Here are some translations for you , any veteran's of the Spiel please do add..

Intimate party = hot , cramped sweatbox

Forward Thinking = actually just playing whatever's popular

"...smashed it!" = dj played club bangers 1 after another and air punched alot

"Tickets are selling fast" = please by a ticket ,we're gona lose our deposit at this rate

"..the most talked about dj's on the underground scene" = Where are all these people on this 'scene' having all these hushed conversations?? ohh wait their not , no one cares

dj's on facebook event: "Cant wait for this!" = pleeeeeaaaase book me to dj puurrleeeeeaase!

"Lights / Lazers" = from Maplin



obviously not everyone Spiels but im getting sick n tired of reading the same crap about every 2nd rate party. So does anyone else have any good PromSpiel???
 
"Having just smashed Ibiza" = played some bars for nothing

DJ Blah [Club xxxx, Club xxxy, Club xxyy] = played at the clubs in the brackets for nothing, to an empty floor at 9pm
 
:lol: hahaha so, so true, Marc!

first 50 people get a free mix CD! (a mix which will eventually appear on soundcloud anyway)

some tickets will be held back on the door (event did not sell out)

this is a rare and exclusive opportunity to see DJX / this will be DJX's only gig in the UK (the only gig that DJX could get in the UK)

this venue has recently been refurbished (the speakers were moved slightly to the right, the toilets don't reek as much, new slightly more officious bouncers)

drinks for pub prices! (venue is a pub in all but name)

venue will be in a secret location (promoter buying time whilst kakking himself over late licence)

venue welcomes back old favourite DJX - (DJX is cheap/local/always on hand when preferred DJ pulls out)

owing to problems with immigration/lost laptop/tonsilitis DJX has had to cancel (DJX got greedy at the last minute and threw a strop)
 
"dj xxx , a stalwart of the underground house scene" = Past it dj who never quite made it , probably also "forward thinking"
 
"dirty sexy twisted house" = a medley of whatever electro rubbish SHM have recently done. the venue for this sort of shiz will no doubt have "just been refurbished" and the dj will of course "just got back from smashing Ibiza". It will almost certainly be at Pacha london
 
DJ X (Space)

= Not the one in Ibiza, the pony AList London mug promoter

(reminds me, someone once got in trouble by Defected by putting Defected after their name, and when pulled up on it they said they used it as they were a 'face' on their messageboard :lol:)
 
Olly said:
drinks for pub prices! (venue is a pub in all but name)
Click to expand...

The Driver in Kings Cross is exactly this , except with a pub name too.
"The Driver is a boutique venue, where modern elegance and timeless style are enhanced by a personalised approach and impeccable service."
 
'Secret' warehouse party = pseudo underground car park with no heating - tickets available for £30 plus booking fee on ticketweb. Sponsored by Bacardi.
 
"early bird tickets on sale now £8" = theres about 20 of em , price will then go up to more like 20 but we will make a big song and dance about how cheap the earlybird tickets are
 
MiniMarc said:
"early bird tickets on sale now £8" = theres about 20 of em , price will then go up to more like 20 but we will make a big song and dance about how cheap the earlybird tickets are
Click to expand...

:D

Leading to the "Early birds sold out in seconds!!!!!"

All 20 of them.
 
All so very true 8)

I think the 'cool' people :lol: generally know the best nights / places to be so dont need to be told in the promoter language ;)
 
in the old days, Sasha's name would appear on countless flyers for all sorts of events taking place at the same time in different clubs, different towns (different countries!) In a way, that practice has sort of stopped because it's easier for people to find out from the horse's mouth where they'll be, but for a while it was getting silly.
 
Olly said:
owing to problems with immigration/lost laptop/tonsilitis DJX has had to cancel (DJX got greedy at the last minute and threw a strop)
Click to expand...
:lol:

This happens here from time to time... usually because DJ X is too dense to realize you can't just walk into an embassy and get a visa on demand :confused:

Great thread!
 
Dan x said:
DJ X (Space)

= Not the one in Ibiza, the pony AList London mug promoter

(reminds me, someone once got in trouble by Defected by putting Defected after their name, and when pulled up on it they said they used it as they were a 'face' on their messageboard :lol:)
Click to expand...

Johnny D should have a thread of his own!

"Last 100 VIP Hotel + Party + Afterparty Tickets*"

*Does not inc. hotel, afterparty or anything additional but you have the VIP price of £50 extra:lol:
 
Buckley said:
:lol:

Can't say I haven't been guilty of hyperbole now and again myself!

I remember when Gregatello didn't believe I had a Funktion One system on a boat party I did!:lol:
Click to expand...

they are handy those Funktion One little stickers aren't they mate?!?!
 
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