Prince Phillip - National Treasure
- Thread starter jjinit
- Start date
Morbyd
Moderator
So.... The old man turns 90 today.
The following, courtesy of the Daily Mirror:
THE Duke of Edinburgh is 90 today - so here we have one of his right royal bloomers for every year.
1 "Are we going to need ear plugs?" Hearing Madonna sang theme to movie Die Another Day, 2002.
2 "You bloody silly fool!" To car park attendant who didn't recognise him, 1997.
3 To Simon Kelner, republican editor of The Independent, at Windsor Castle reception: "What are you doing here?" "I was invited, sir." Philip: "Well, you didn't have to come."
4 To female sea cadet last year: "Do you work in a strip club?"
5 To expats in Abu Dhabi last year: "Are you running away from something?"
6 "Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species." Accepting conservation award, Thailand, 1991
7 "Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don't you have a slogan: 'Kill a cat and save a bird?'" At project to protect turtle doves, Anguilla, 1965.
8 "Are you all one family?" To multiethnic Britain's Got Talent 2009 winners Diversity.
9 To President of Nigeria, who was in national dress, 2003: "You look like you're ready for bed!"
10 "Ghastly." On Beijing, during a visit there in 1986.
11 "During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual." University of Hertfordshire, 2003.
12 To deaf children by steel band, 2000: "Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf."
13 "You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly." To tourist in Budapest, 1993.
14 To a British trekker in Papua New Guinea, 1998: "You managed not to get eaten then?"
15 "Ghastly." On Stoke-on-Trent, during a visit in 1997.
16 To Atul Patel at reception for influential Indians, 2009: "There's a lot of your family in tonight."
17 "It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." About a Scottish factory fuse box, 1999. He later backtracked: "I meant to say cowboys."
18 To Lockerbie residents after plane bombing, 1993: "People say after a fire it's water damage that's the worst. We're still drying out Windsor Castle."
19 "We don't come here for our health."Canada, 1976.
20 "I never see any home cooking - all I get is fancy stuff." 1987
21 On the Duke of York's house, 1986: "It looks like a tart's bedroom."
22 "Reichskanzler." Using Hitler's title to address German chancellor Helmut Kohl, 1997.
23 "We go into the red next year... I shall have to give up polo." 1969.
24 "Bugger the table plan, give me my dinner!" At party, 2004.
25 To a woman solicitor, 1987: "I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit."
26 To a civil servant, 1970: "You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you."
27 "A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want." On 1981 recession.
28 "It's a vast waste of space." On new £18million British Embassy in Berlin, 2000.
29 After Dunblane massacre, 1996: "If a cricketer suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, are you going to ban cricket bats?"
30 "If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort - provided you don't travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly." To Aircraft Research Association, 2002.
31 "We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun. You just got on with it!" On stress counselling for servicemen, 1995.
32 On Tom Jones, 1969: "It's difficult to see how it's possible to become immensely valuable by singing what are the most hideous songs."
33 "British women can't cook." To Scottish WI, 1961.
34 "It's a pleasure to be in a country that isn't ruled by its people." To then Paraguay dictator General Stroessner.
35 "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" Cayman Islands, 1994.
36 To Scottish driving instructor, 1995: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?"
37 "If it has four legs and it's not a chair, if it's got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane and if it swims and it's not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." At a WF meeting, 1986.
38 "You ARE a woman, aren't you?" Kenya, 1984.
39 A VIP at a local airport asked HRH: "What was your flight, like, Your Royal Highness? Philip: "Have you ever flown in a plane?" VIP: "Oh yes, sir, many times." "Well," said Philip, "it was just like that."
40 On Ethiopian art, 1965: "It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from school art lessons."
41 "You're not wearing mink knickers, are you?" To fashion writer, 1993.
42 "They have eating dogs for the anorexic now." To Susan Edwards and her guide dog, 2002.
43 "I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!" When offered wine, Rome, 2000.
44 "I'd like to go to Russia very much - although the bastards murdered half my family." 1967.
45 "If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion." City Hall, 2002.
46 "A pissometer?" Seeing a piezo-meter water gauge, Australia, 2000.
47 "You have mosquitoes. I have the Press." To matron of Caribbean hospital, 1966.
48 "So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs." At Bangladeshi youth club, 2002.
49 "You were playing your instruments? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?" To children's band, Australia, 2002.
50 At Duke of Edinburgh Awards scheme, 2006. "Young people are the same as they always were. Just as ignorant."
51 "What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer." On how difficult it is in Britain to get rich.
52 "Oh, it's you that owns that ghastly car, is it?" To Elton John on his gold Aston Martin, 2001.
53 At an engineering school closed so he could officially open it, 2005: "It doesn't look like much work goes on at this university."
54 To Aboriginal leader William Brin, Queensland, 2002: "Do you still throw spears at each other?"
55 "Oh! You're the people ruining the rivers." Scottish fish farm, 1999.
56 "The French don't know how to cook breakfast." After a breakfast of bacon, eggs, smoked salmon, kedgeree, croissants and pain au chocolat - from Gallic chef Regis CrÈpy, 2002.
57 To schoolboy who invited the Queen to Romford, Essex, 2003: "Ah, you're the one who wrote the letter. So you can write then?"
58 To black politician Lord Taylor of Warwick, 1999: "And what exotic part of the world do you come from?"
59 To parents at a previously struggling Sheffield school, 2003: "Were you here in the bad old days? ... That's why you can't read and write then!"
60 "You could do with losing a little bit of weight." To Andrew Adams, 13, 1998.
61 "Where's the Southern Comfort?" When presented with a hamper of goods by US ambassador, 1999.
62 To editor of downmarket tabloid: "Where are you from?" "The S*n, sir." Philip: "Oh, no... one can't tell from the outside."
63 "No, I'd probably end up spitting it out over everybody." Turning down food, 2000.
64 "There's a cord sticking out of the back. Might you tell me where it goes?" Asking Cate Blanchett to fix his DVD player because she worked "in the film industry", 2008.
65 "People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have even been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans." 2000.
66 "Can you tell the difference between them?" After President Obama had breakfast with leaders of the UK, China and Russia, 2010.
67 "I don't know how they're going to integrate in places like Glasgow and Sheffield." On students from Brunei, 1998.
68 On Princess Anne, 1970: "If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested."
69 To wheelchair-bound nursing-home resident, 2002: "Do people trip over you?"
70 Discussing tartan with then-Scottish Tory leader Annabel Goldie last year: "That's a nice tie... Do you have any knickers in that material?"
71 "I've never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." To group of industrialists, 1961.
72 "It's not a very big one, but at least it's dead and it took an awful lot of killing!" On a crocodile he shot, Gambia, 1957.
73 "Only a Scotsman can really survive a Scottish education." On being made Chancellor of Edinburgh University, 1953.
74 "I must be the only person in Britain glad to see the back of that plane." He hated the noise Concorde made flying over Buckingham Palace, 2002
75 To a fashion designer, 2009: "Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?"
76 "Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I've practised for many years." To General Dental Council, 1960.
77 "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease." On stroking a koala, 1992.
78 "You can take it from me the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance." On marriage, 1997.
79 To schoolchildren in bloodred uniforms, 1998: "It makes you all look like Dracula's daughters!"
80 "I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing." 1988.
81 "So this is feminist corner then." To female Labour MPs, 2000.
82 "I suppose I'd get in trouble if I were to melt them down." On Nottingham Forest trophies, 1999.
83 "It's my custom to say something flattering to begin with so I shall be excused if I put my foot in it later on." 1956.
84 "Why don't you go and live in a hostel to save cash?" To penniless student, 1998.
85 On robots colliding, Science Museum, 2000: "They're not mating are they?"
86 "This could only happen in a technical college." While stuck in a Heriot Watt University lift, 1958.
87 To newsreader Michael Buerk, when told he knew about the Duke of Edinburgh's Gold Awards, 2004: "That's more than you know about anything else then."
88 To a British student in China, 1986: "If you stay here much longer, you'll go home with slitty eyes."
89 "Damn fool question!" To journalist Caroline Wyatt, who asked if the Queen was enjoying a Paris trip, 2006.
90 On smoke alarms to a woman who lost two sons in a fire, 1998: "They're a damn nuisance -I've got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off."
The following, courtesy of the Daily Mirror:
THE Duke of Edinburgh is 90 today - so here we have one of his right royal bloomers for every year.
1 "Are we going to need ear plugs?" Hearing Madonna sang theme to movie Die Another Day, 2002.
2 "You bloody silly fool!" To car park attendant who didn't recognise him, 1997.
3 To Simon Kelner, republican editor of The Independent, at Windsor Castle reception: "What are you doing here?" "I was invited, sir." Philip: "Well, you didn't have to come."
4 To female sea cadet last year: "Do you work in a strip club?"
5 To expats in Abu Dhabi last year: "Are you running away from something?"
6 "Your country is one of the most notorious centres of trading in endangered species." Accepting conservation award, Thailand, 1991
7 "Cats kill far more birds than men. Why don't you have a slogan: 'Kill a cat and save a bird?'" At project to protect turtle doves, Anguilla, 1965.
8 "Are you all one family?" To multiethnic Britain's Got Talent 2009 winners Diversity.
9 To President of Nigeria, who was in national dress, 2003: "You look like you're ready for bed!"
10 "Ghastly." On Beijing, during a visit there in 1986.
11 "During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual." University of Hertfordshire, 2003.
12 To deaf children by steel band, 2000: "Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf."
13 "You can't have been here long, you haven't got a pot belly." To tourist in Budapest, 1993.
14 To a British trekker in Papua New Guinea, 1998: "You managed not to get eaten then?"
15 "Ghastly." On Stoke-on-Trent, during a visit in 1997.
16 To Atul Patel at reception for influential Indians, 2009: "There's a lot of your family in tonight."
17 "It looks as though it was put in by an Indian." About a Scottish factory fuse box, 1999. He later backtracked: "I meant to say cowboys."
18 To Lockerbie residents after plane bombing, 1993: "People say after a fire it's water damage that's the worst. We're still drying out Windsor Castle."
19 "We don't come here for our health."Canada, 1976.
20 "I never see any home cooking - all I get is fancy stuff." 1987
21 On the Duke of York's house, 1986: "It looks like a tart's bedroom."
22 "Reichskanzler." Using Hitler's title to address German chancellor Helmut Kohl, 1997.
23 "We go into the red next year... I shall have to give up polo." 1969.
24 "Bugger the table plan, give me my dinner!" At party, 2004.
25 To a woman solicitor, 1987: "I thought it was against the law for a woman to solicit."
26 To a civil servant, 1970: "You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you."
27 "A few years ago, everybody was saying we must have more leisure, everyone's working too much. Now everybody's got more leisure time they're complaining they're unemployed. People don't seem to make up their minds what they want." On 1981 recession.
28 "It's a vast waste of space." On new £18million British Embassy in Berlin, 2000.
29 After Dunblane massacre, 1996: "If a cricketer suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, are you going to ban cricket bats?"
30 "If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort - provided you don't travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly." To Aircraft Research Association, 2002.
31 "We didn't have counsellors rushing around every time somebody let off a gun. You just got on with it!" On stress counselling for servicemen, 1995.
32 On Tom Jones, 1969: "It's difficult to see how it's possible to become immensely valuable by singing what are the most hideous songs."
33 "British women can't cook." To Scottish WI, 1961.
34 "It's a pleasure to be in a country that isn't ruled by its people." To then Paraguay dictator General Stroessner.
35 "Aren't most of you descended from pirates?" Cayman Islands, 1994.
36 To Scottish driving instructor, 1995: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?"
37 "If it has four legs and it's not a chair, if it's got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane and if it swims and it's not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." At a WF meeting, 1986.
38 "You ARE a woman, aren't you?" Kenya, 1984.
39 A VIP at a local airport asked HRH: "What was your flight, like, Your Royal Highness? Philip: "Have you ever flown in a plane?" VIP: "Oh yes, sir, many times." "Well," said Philip, "it was just like that."
40 On Ethiopian art, 1965: "It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from school art lessons."
41 "You're not wearing mink knickers, are you?" To fashion writer, 1993.
42 "They have eating dogs for the anorexic now." To Susan Edwards and her guide dog, 2002.
43 "I don't care what kind it is, just get me a beer!" When offered wine, Rome, 2000.
44 "I'd like to go to Russia very much - although the bastards murdered half my family." 1967.
45 "If we could just stop the tourism, we could stop the congestion." City Hall, 2002.
46 "A pissometer?" Seeing a piezo-meter water gauge, Australia, 2000.
47 "You have mosquitoes. I have the Press." To matron of Caribbean hospital, 1966.
48 "So who's on drugs here?... HE looks as if he's on drugs." At Bangladeshi youth club, 2002.
49 "You were playing your instruments? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?" To children's band, Australia, 2002.
50 At Duke of Edinburgh Awards scheme, 2006. "Young people are the same as they always were. Just as ignorant."
51 "What about Tom Jones? He's made a million and he's a bloody awful singer." On how difficult it is in Britain to get rich.
52 "Oh, it's you that owns that ghastly car, is it?" To Elton John on his gold Aston Martin, 2001.
53 At an engineering school closed so he could officially open it, 2005: "It doesn't look like much work goes on at this university."
54 To Aboriginal leader William Brin, Queensland, 2002: "Do you still throw spears at each other?"
55 "Oh! You're the people ruining the rivers." Scottish fish farm, 1999.
56 "The French don't know how to cook breakfast." After a breakfast of bacon, eggs, smoked salmon, kedgeree, croissants and pain au chocolat - from Gallic chef Regis CrÈpy, 2002.
57 To schoolboy who invited the Queen to Romford, Essex, 2003: "Ah, you're the one who wrote the letter. So you can write then?"
58 To black politician Lord Taylor of Warwick, 1999: "And what exotic part of the world do you come from?"
59 To parents at a previously struggling Sheffield school, 2003: "Were you here in the bad old days? ... That's why you can't read and write then!"
60 "You could do with losing a little bit of weight." To Andrew Adams, 13, 1998.
61 "Where's the Southern Comfort?" When presented with a hamper of goods by US ambassador, 1999.
62 To editor of downmarket tabloid: "Where are you from?" "The S*n, sir." Philip: "Oh, no... one can't tell from the outside."
63 "No, I'd probably end up spitting it out over everybody." Turning down food, 2000.
64 "There's a cord sticking out of the back. Might you tell me where it goes?" Asking Cate Blanchett to fix his DVD player because she worked "in the film industry", 2008.
65 "People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have even been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans." 2000.
66 "Can you tell the difference between them?" After President Obama had breakfast with leaders of the UK, China and Russia, 2010.
67 "I don't know how they're going to integrate in places like Glasgow and Sheffield." On students from Brunei, 1998.
68 On Princess Anne, 1970: "If it doesn't fart or eat hay, she isn't interested."
69 To wheelchair-bound nursing-home resident, 2002: "Do people trip over you?"
70 Discussing tartan with then-Scottish Tory leader Annabel Goldie last year: "That's a nice tie... Do you have any knickers in that material?"
71 "I've never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing." To group of industrialists, 1961.
72 "It's not a very big one, but at least it's dead and it took an awful lot of killing!" On a crocodile he shot, Gambia, 1957.
73 "Only a Scotsman can really survive a Scottish education." On being made Chancellor of Edinburgh University, 1953.
74 "I must be the only person in Britain glad to see the back of that plane." He hated the noise Concorde made flying over Buckingham Palace, 2002
75 To a fashion designer, 2009: "Well, you didn't design your beard too well, did you?"
76 "Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, which I've practised for many years." To General Dental Council, 1960.
77 "Oh no, I might catch some ghastly disease." On stroking a koala, 1992.
78 "You can take it from me the Queen has the quality of tolerance in abundance." On marriage, 1997.
79 To schoolchildren in bloodred uniforms, 1998: "It makes you all look like Dracula's daughters!"
80 "I don't think a prostitute is more moral than a wife, but they are doing the same thing." 1988.
81 "So this is feminist corner then." To female Labour MPs, 2000.
82 "I suppose I'd get in trouble if I were to melt them down." On Nottingham Forest trophies, 1999.
83 "It's my custom to say something flattering to begin with so I shall be excused if I put my foot in it later on." 1956.
84 "Why don't you go and live in a hostel to save cash?" To penniless student, 1998.
85 On robots colliding, Science Museum, 2000: "They're not mating are they?"
86 "This could only happen in a technical college." While stuck in a Heriot Watt University lift, 1958.
87 To newsreader Michael Buerk, when told he knew about the Duke of Edinburgh's Gold Awards, 2004: "That's more than you know about anything else then."
88 To a British student in China, 1986: "If you stay here much longer, you'll go home with slitty eyes."
89 "Damn fool question!" To journalist Caroline Wyatt, who asked if the Queen was enjoying a Paris trip, 2006.
90 On smoke alarms to a woman who lost two sons in a fire, 1998: "They're a damn nuisance -I've got one in my bathroom and every time I run my bath the steam sets it off."
xxVic-zeexx
Active Member
Hahahahaha what a ledge 8)