Porno Rave and Being called a "Chav"

letsgetdownanddirtybaby

letsgetdownanddirtybaby

Active Member
Being from America and it being my first high rolling trip to Ibiza, I have never actually been called a "Chav." I had to look it up but I guess as I am new money I will always be a little "Ghetto." Does this make me an international "Chav." I'm not into hip-hop so I can’t be an American "Wigger." I don’t wear track suits or excessive gold. My designer label stuff is real and I don’t own a single piece of "Burberry."

That being said, is it such a bad thing to be called a "Chav?"

I've read a few of the language quotes and, after translation to English; they don’t appear to be very bright. Their women, however, can be quite beautiful from the pictures I've seen. So, if anyone has any pointers on middle aged Americans pulling Chav birds...pony up and talk.

On another note, isn't it about time for a "Porno Rave?" Why not combine the best of both worlds... The music is all about the love and the feeling of the "walking orgasm." Shouldn't some DJ or club have figured it out by now? No tricks, just straight up music that has such a dark beat it makes you go straight to thinking about sex.

Wouldn't that be something...vid's on the wall, people out of control, cats and dogs raining from the sky and the like.

Ah well, 10 days to go and I'm already mixing my dreams.

At least I'll be able to rent a Viper if I can stay sober for a day...anyone over 22 have a license and can drive back to PDB at 6:30am?
 
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Don't know about now, as I haven't been for a few years, but in the days, Manumission was the Ibiza Porno Rave !! Claire and Mike pushing the boat out.... Check it out, probably a lot tamer these days, but still...
 
The best laid plans of mice and manumission....

Unfortunately, I tried...Bought a ticket from clubticks and all...

Then they moved up the closing a week and I got my VIP money back.

Ah well, at least I saved 500 Euro on a bottle I could never finish by myself any way.
 
letsgetdownanddirtybaby said:
I don’t wear track suits or excessive gold. My designer label stuff is real and I don’t own a single piece of "Burberry."

That being said, is it such a bad thing to be called a "Chav?"
Click to expand...

You do not want to be called a Chav and if you dont have the above - you are not a true Chav!!!!

Chav's are looked down on and not really someone you would want to aspire to be like - that's my opinion anyway!!!!
 
letsgetdownanddirtybaby said:
On another note, isn't it about time for a "Porno Rave?" Why not combine the best of both worlds... The music is all about the love and the feeling of the "walking orgasm."
Click to expand...


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Think you might be a Chav? Do you qualify?

Are you wearings a hick and chunky gold chain about your neck?

Do you have several tattos and is at least one home made, saying 'mam' or 'nan'?

Are you wearing a sovereign ring?

Do you have a slight moustache that really cant make it, but you wont shave off as it took a fortnight to grow?

Are you smoking a fag with one hand and doing a wicked 'W' with the other?

Do you find yourself doing that every time som eone takes yoru picture? (Except in the police station where you know what to do)

Are your shoes of the soft trainer variety, and were
a) stolen in a street mugging of a 12 year old and probably dont fit,
b) fakes off a the marklet stall or
c ) fakes off ebay (butt you dont have a computer but your gran (or nan) does (which you will steak and porn to buy skunk) and gave them to you at Christmas and you still called her a 'slag'?

Have you ever been drunk while filling your job seekers allowance?

Do you sniff glue on a regular baiss and have the scabs to proove it?

Do you have a girlfriend with enough make up and spray tan to scare Zsa Zsa Gabor back into her coffin?

If you notice any of the above or have a yearning to wear your baseball cap back to front and sitting shirtless in the West End while picking at that fake tattoo you just had done, you are a Chav and you can be proud to know that you will never have to worry yourself with making any kind of useful contribution to the world when every one else is happy to do that for you.

I tried to be a Chav once, but my butler said it wouldn't do. So, 3 years ago my bro and I, sportsmen that we are, went on a Chav-hunt in the West End and compiled a marvellous gallery of the rogues. Some were priceless, and indeed already stuffed it seemed.

You know, I even engaged in conversation with one, it was enthralling to discover how many peope one can actualy blame for ones predicaments without involving any slight sense of personal responsibility.

Most of our findings were contributed, as was the fashion at the time, to a web site called chavscum.com. Happy days.
 
Geez,

Where do I begin.

wind-up or wind·up (w
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n. 1. a. The act of bringing something to an end.
b. A concluding part; a conclusion.

2. Baseball The movements of a pitcher, including the swinging back of the arm and the raising of the forward foot, preparatory to pitching the ball.

adj. Operated by a spring that is wound up by hand
Noun1.
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windup - a concluding action
Adj.1.
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windup - operated by a mechanism; "windup toys"
And yet still, I don't feel that this was the intended description...

Small chain with three gold rings and diamond from Cartier around the neck...no chunky gold.
Wearing college ring.
No moustache but if I did I would certainly shape it like Hitler’s.
Don’t smoke or throw gang signs.
Shoes are most likely Timberlands when not dancing or yachting.
Never been on welfare or sniffed glue.
I disagree with you on the Chav girls...(I think they're hot and heard they love American accents. They are easily impressed. I am planning on carrying lots of shiny objects I’ve heard they like. Nothing can be dumber than an American blonde any way and I've got some cheerleader dating experience).
I am not the rich man you apparently are as I don’t have a butler pip pip cheerio and all that.

I guess I can proudly say that I am NOT a Chav. Oh well, perhaps I can compare myself to something else English of equal stature...


Say...

Say...

A Twit?

Hem...hem....


Now really, will someone please tell me what a "windup" is. I'm not hip to that slang dude.
 
'Wind up' translated 'busting on' Hmm I never go that 'ball busting' stuff its a peculiar analogy. Like busting someones ass. Im 'gonna bust your ass' - is that some kind of boast as the the speakers 'ass busting' capacity? Dodgy.

'Small chain with three gold rings and diamond from Cartier around the neck...no chunky gold.'

The jury's out on that one - oooh

'Wearing college ring.'

Depends how big and gaudy

'No moustache but if I did I would certainly shape it like Hitler’s.'

You must look like the guy out of 'Sparks' - ah never mind about that one.

'Don’t smoke or throw gang signs.'

Now then, all that saluting in the military isn't far off if fact they do a lot of that too, so its borderline

'Shoes are most likely Timberlands when not dancing or yachting.'

Yatching is a chav free environment- the jewellery goes green so they steer clear of salt water

'Never been on welfare or sniffed glue.'

Theres a time for everything.

'I disagree with you on the Chav girls...(I think they're hot and heard they love American accents. They are easily impressed. I am planning on carrying lots of shiny objects I’ve heard they like. Nothing can be dumber than an American blonde any way and I've got some cheerleader dating experience).'

You've got the hang of this, theyre just like your very own trailer trash except we give ours houses - to trash! Here is your diploma in Chav.

Take care with those chav girls you may be asked for a fumble 'round the back' but if you make her drop her chips she'll well dis you proper. Furthermore you may think you're doing well until on wrong word and she'll spin off in her inevitably drunken state about how she 'never gobbled off Bazza and Carl on the same night and its never her fault, even her mum said she never', etc etc until the small hours, involving, most likely some brawling in the street with her best friendn (pulling out their hair extensions and such) until the police come or you found chance to leg it away hours before. Its worth watching as abystander, i can vouch.

'I am not the rich man you apparently are as I don’t have a butler pip pip cheerio and all that.'

Spent it all on 'hogeys' and more than my fair share of grits, so the butler left and shacked up with a bunch of lasses from salt lake city, last time i heard he was running a Nascar team.

Bah yaaawwl.
 
Ok it's not a wind up, it seems you are for real Mr Down and Dirty.

Just a couple of suggestions though before you come here, it seems that you are American Military or associated with such and you guys have a certain way of partying.

You might find it a bit different here. I am not saying one way is right and the other way wrong or anything like that.
Even though Ibiza is one of the foremost party destinations on the planet, it is not of the crazy ''Porno Rave'' style.
It's more subtle than that and quite understated in actual sex but extemely high on sexuality.
If you want something like an ''in you face'' shag fest then maybe you should visit Beverlys Club in Port des Torrent, which is an overtly blatent sex disco.

Places like Pacha, Space, DC10, Amnesia etc are amazing clubs and off the scale in hedonistic experiences..... But are not places that react kindly to drunkardness, lewd behaviour or anything too loud. The crowd tend to be at one with each other with a certain equaliblium. This is what makes the party scene here so special. I always find it takes at least an hour in a club to get to that point of where it feels like you don't want to be anywhere else.
Stand back, take it all in and immerse yourself gradually. Be patient and let it come to you. Don't go with only the idea of finding a sexual partner. Go with the idea of feeling the music and the atmosphere and everything else which Ibiza is so good at providing.

I don't know if I've put my point across very well here, but I hope you get the general idea.
 
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