BARTONIOUS
New Member
Stolen from Mixmag:
Personal Ad
- Thread starter BARTONIOUS
- Start date
PachaGirl79
New Member
Thats hot 
How many brainless bimbos are gonna jump on that is the sad part
I'm sure I'd read that before...
quick search of the internet reveals this...
The following are actual ads placed in the Personal section of the Ministry of Sound magazine (UK clubbing/lifestyle magazine):
ARE YOU AGED 18-30, female, slim build, into hardcore techno, a recent graduate and political activist? Then f*** off. I want a shit-thick 16 year old bird with no opinions and massive tits. Reply to box xxxx
WERE YOU THE GIRL with braids, blue T-shirt, platform trainers, dancing to the left of the stage during JFK's set at Passion last Friday? I was the guy curled up under the speaker stack. I meant to talk to you but I was hallucinating and I thought you had a wolf's head and flippers. But I'm ok now. Reply to xxxx
ATTENTION ALL MAD clubheads in the Toxteth area going to Cream this weekend. Me and my mates are going to nick all your valuables while you're out because we're thieving scally bastards.
IF YOU ARE a group of around four house fans in the Acton High Street area of West London and you're particularly into old skool Chicago sounds, please turn your stereo down because some of us are f***ing trying to get some sleep.
ARE YOU THE TALL BLACK-HAIRED GUY in the black and silver Versace shirt who I shagged in the Ministry toilets about three months ago without any form of birth control? Please write to me. I'd love to hear from you. Just to see how you are and stuff. Don't worry, there's nothing to worry about. Really. It's just that I'm going to have a...ummm...a PARTY! Yes, that's it. A party. Reply xxxx
WANTED: COCAINE. Lots of it. Reply to xxxx
WERE YOU THE man standing three feet away from me at the bar in Fabric, smiling weakly and smelling rather too strongly of Issey Miyake? Because if you look at my tits one more time, I am going to glass you.
quick search of the internet reveals this...
The following are actual ads placed in the Personal section of the Ministry of Sound magazine (UK clubbing/lifestyle magazine):
ARE YOU AGED 18-30, female, slim build, into hardcore techno, a recent graduate and political activist? Then f*** off. I want a shit-thick 16 year old bird with no opinions and massive tits. Reply to box xxxx
WERE YOU THE GIRL with braids, blue T-shirt, platform trainers, dancing to the left of the stage during JFK's set at Passion last Friday? I was the guy curled up under the speaker stack. I meant to talk to you but I was hallucinating and I thought you had a wolf's head and flippers. But I'm ok now. Reply to xxxx
ATTENTION ALL MAD clubheads in the Toxteth area going to Cream this weekend. Me and my mates are going to nick all your valuables while you're out because we're thieving scally bastards.
IF YOU ARE a group of around four house fans in the Acton High Street area of West London and you're particularly into old skool Chicago sounds, please turn your stereo down because some of us are f***ing trying to get some sleep.
ARE YOU THE TALL BLACK-HAIRED GUY in the black and silver Versace shirt who I shagged in the Ministry toilets about three months ago without any form of birth control? Please write to me. I'd love to hear from you. Just to see how you are and stuff. Don't worry, there's nothing to worry about. Really. It's just that I'm going to have a...ummm...a PARTY! Yes, that's it. A party. Reply xxxx
WANTED: COCAINE. Lots of it. Reply to xxxx
WERE YOU THE man standing three feet away from me at the bar in Fabric, smiling weakly and smelling rather too strongly of Issey Miyake? Because if you look at my tits one more time, I am going to glass you.