People who get married abroad..help me with my dilemna!

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utagaura

Active Member
So because I know some people on here like to get married in Ibiza, maybe you can help me see it from the other side!:)

I have no trouble going to a wedding when its just a few hours on a plane, or drive away.

However I have a friend who is getting married in Mexico at some trashy American-esque really-couldn't-pay-me-to-have-a-holiday-there type of resort. She wants me to be a bridesmaid and arrive there before for a pre-wedding something ( I still don't know what!!)

Now I think people should be able to have whatever wedding they want, invite whomever they choose and make their day the best it can be. She can get married there if she wants and I want them to do exactly as they please for their wedding day.

However, do you think I'm being selfish by not wanting to go? Because in this instance I would have to use too much ( in my opinion! :lol:) of my annual holidays and spend a lot of money to go to a place I really do NOT want to go to.

Now if they were getting married somewhere good, where I could dance on picnic tables and wave at planes all day and manage to forget to go back to my hotel for 3 days, it would be an entirely different story! :lol: :lol:
 
I don't think you're being selfish at all. I couldn't believe so many people were able to come to our wedding in Ibiza cos you're not just asking someone to drive down the road to your wedding venue, so we were made up about that esp cos a few people are not typical 2 times a year Ibiza holidaymakers. But if people hadn't wanted to come then I'd have had no problem with it and prob just arranged to do a nice meal or something with them at home. I take the view that people have so few holidays a year that they should choose to do what they want with them, and if that doesn't involve going to some tacky American resort then that's not your problem.

My sis has a similar thing this year, she has been asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend and they are getting married in Las Vegas and she says she personally can't think of anything worse - she has decided to go cos she is taking a year off work from the summer so it's not as if she is having to use holiday days but her thoughts were the same as yours and they're only going now to tie it in with other travelling round America.
 
I think its near Cancun but not quite Cancun... I THINK ( maybe I should get my facts right before saying how horrible it is? :lol:)

sorry I didn't mean to offend you Mr. American...by calling I just get that idea of Cancun when I think of that :lol:

This girl's fiance's sister got married there too and it just looks all too horrific from the photos last year..and the way they described it...bla!

(and it takes away from my holiday time to good places!)
 
Barbie said:
I don't think you're being selfish at all. I couldn't believe so many people were able to come to our wedding in Ibiza cos you're not just asking someone to drive down the road to your wedding venue, so we were made up about that esp cos a few people are not typical 2 times a year Ibiza holidaymakers. But if people hadn't wanted to come then I'd have had no problem with it and prob just arranged to do a nice meal or something with them at home. I take the view that people have so few holidays a year that they should choose to do what they want with them, and if that doesn't involve going to some tacky American resort then that's not your problem.

My sis has a similar thing this year, she has been asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend and they are getting married in Las Vegas and she says she personally can't think of anything worse - she has decided to go cos she is taking a year off work from the summer so it's not as if she is having to use holiday days but her thoughts were the same as yours and they're only going now to tie it in with other travelling round America.
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Ok good... .. see thats the thing, if they got married somewhere decent, I wouldn't mind so much.. sometimes they have cheap deals from here to mexico because its such a popular holiday destination so maybe I'll see if I can get a cheap flight and make it into a long weekend.

At least you are getting married somewhere nice! ;)
 
utagaura said:
I think its near Cancun but not quite Cancun... I THINK ( maybe I should get my facts right before saying how horrible it is? :lol:)

sorry I didn't mean to offend you Mr. American...by calling I just get that idea of Cancun when I think of that :lol:
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No, no offense taken :lol:

Cancun is actually pretty cool, but only if you rent a car and take in some of the sights away from the beach (interspersed with beachfront downtime, of course).

Someday....very very soon... I will post photos from our trip over New Years :lol:

Cancun has a reputation as full of ugly Americans (and it certainly is when the university students go down for Spring Break), but our resort was overrun with Brits!

I don't think you have to go unless they're offering to pay for it in which case I think it's a little more rude to turn down. :?
 
In Spain there's a saying that goes something like "against the right of asking for something there's the right of not giving it", if that doesn't make any sense, an invitation it's not an obligation.

I don't think you are being selfish. This wedding costs you loads, not only economically but also about yor spare time. You may risk of offend your friend but not because you are being unpolite but because some brides consider that their wedding day is the most important thing in the world after the discovery of fire :lol:
 
Morbyd said:
No, no offense taken :lol:

Cancun is actually pretty cool, but only if you rent a car and take in some of the sights away from the beach (interspersed with beachfront downtime, of course).

Someday....very very soon... I will post photos from our trip over New Years :lol:

Cancun has a reputation as full of ugly Americans (and it certainly is when the university students go down for Spring Break), but our resort was overrun with Brits!

I don't think you have to go unless they're offering to pay for it in which case I think it's a little more rude to turn down. :?
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ha! no way are they paying... The whole reason they are getting married there they say is because then (in their words) "The people who really care and want to come, will'

I just have other places I'd rather be. I have a wedding in the mountains in July, which is a 3.5 hour drive.. That I don't mind.

Maybe it won't be that bad!
 
silvia said:
In Spain there's a saying that goes something like "against the right of asking for something there's the right of not giving it", if that doesn't make any sense, an invitation it's not an obligation.

I don't think you are being selfish. This wedding costs you loads, not only economically but also about yor spare time. You may risk of offend your friend but not because you are being unpolite but because some brides consider that their wedding day is the most important thing in the world after the discovery of fire :lol:
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I know I just feel bad, because she wants me to be her only bridesmaid!

I will work something out... I think :? :lol:
 
utagaura said:
So because I know some people on here like to get married in Ibiza, maybe you can help me see it from the other side!:)

I have no trouble going to a wedding when its just a few hours on a plane, or drive away.

However I have a friend who is getting married in Mexico at some trashy American-esque really-couldn't-pay-me-to-have-a-holiday-there type of resort. She wants me to be a bridesmaid and arrive there before for a pre-wedding something ( I still don't know what!!)

Now I think people should be able to have whatever wedding they want, invite whomever they choose and make their day the best it can be. She can get married there if she wants and I want them to do exactly as they please for their wedding day.

However, do you think I'm being selfish by not wanting to go? Because in this instance I would have to use too much ( in my opinion! :lol:) of my annual holidays and spend a lot of money to go to a place I really do NOT want to go to.

Now if they were getting married somewhere good, where I could dance on picnic tables and wave at planes all day and manage to forget to go back to my hotel for 3 days, it would be an entirely different story! :lol: :lol:
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We are getting married in July and our mates a week before us. My other half is the bridesmaid for our friend and was "requested" to stay at the country location the night before and after the wedding. I also need to take time off work as the friends wedding is on a Sunday (so it's cheapr for them). I am a contractor so I would not get paid holidays so it would cost us about £300+ before we even buy a drink.

I don't think you are being unreasoanble and if your friend wants your there for Her wedding then she should pay.
 
utagaura said:
ha! no way are they paying... The whole reason they are getting married there they say is because then (in their words) "The people who really care and want to come, will'
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ooh... I hate it when people say crap like that!

If she wants you to be her only bridesmaid, they should help defer the costs! :twisted:

Though, that begs the question, how close are you two if you'd be the only bridesmaid?
 
Morbyd said:
ooh... I hate it when people say crap like that!

If she wants you to be her only bridesmaid, they should help defer the costs! :twisted:

Though, that begs the question, how close are you two if you'd be the only bridesmaid?
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We are very close... so this is why I think I'm being selfish! :oops: :spank:

(as much as I love her she can be a bit of a princess in this instance......)

anyway, they are as indecisive as me... maybe they will change their mind! :lol:
 
Maybe changed my mind on this one;

If you're very, very close, "best mates" - you should do whatever you can to be there with her.

If she's just a friend, then it's a different story. If that makes sense.

As you profess to be the former, then, yes make the effort.
 
wedding

utagaura said:
We are very close... so this is why I think I'm being selfish! :oops: :spank:

(as much as I love her she can be a bit of a princess in this instance......)

anyway, they are as indecisive as me... maybe they will change their mind! :lol:
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Ask your self one question, would she do it for you? American for the most part are OK even if they are abroad on holiday, just like morb said Cancun is rather nice; not Ibiza but you can have a good time the Tekilla flows like water.

p.s. I know a few yanks that are ok.:roll: ;)
 
djjaycool said:
Ask your self one question, would she do it for you? American for the most part are OK even if they are abroad on holiday, just like morb said Cancun is rather nice; not Ibiza but you can have a good time the Tekilla flows like water.

p.s. I know a few yanks that are ok.:roll: ;)
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its more about the LOCATION... not just the people! ;)

Also, this is my friend who goes away to exciting places.. I have no idea why she wants to get married in Mexico.. Everyone has been to Mexico... its the lazy traveler thing to do..
 
MARKB said:
Maybe changed my mind on this one;

If you're very, very close, "best mates" - you should do whatever you can to be there with her.

If she's just a friend, then it's a different story. If that makes sense.

As you profess to be the former, then, yes make the effort.
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yes we are really close... and she would expect me to do it for her... but I think its quite selfish of them to expect people to spend loads of money and use a lot of their holiday time... That is too much in my opinion.
 
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