Oh what to do!!

S

StevieG

New Member
Haven't really been posting on here of late. Just reading all your ramblings :lol: . Need a bit of agony aunt/uncle advice.

Split from my missus of 5 years which hit me pretty hard. Have now got a new missus who I really, really like. Trouble is she doesn't like the naughty stuff. And horror of all horrors, doesn't like my 'techno crap' but likes her RnB and that. Now things are going really well, we click and theres chemistry.

She said she is probably willing to give clubbing a go, but said she would prob just stand there as she wouldn't know how to dance. I've already managed to jack the nose candy, which was v.difficult as I was doing a lot of the crap. Was v.proud last night as I turned down free lines for the first time and my mates said they wished they could do the same.

Trouble is I LOVE CLUBBING. I was thinking of taking her to fabbers/The End and going straight but it just wouldn't be the same and I'd be gutted. Should I give up this side of my life for a v.gorgeous lass? :?:
 
thats a very tough one, clubbing is a part of who you are though and you shouldnt have to give that up for anyone, being in relationship is about sharing and doing things that eachother like!! she should be willing to give it a go and not half heartdly, saying she will just stand there etc isnt very nice..............

giving up the nose candy is an achievement in itself, she might surprise you and really enjoy herself.
 
No you shouldnt have to give anything up,my gf knows i do stuff she doesnt aprove but she doesnt tell me not to do it as she says its down to me wot i do.And you don't have to go clubing with her you can go with your mates and go to restraunts/pubs bars etc with her then everybodys happy???
 
If clubbing is an important part of your life that you enjoy, if you give it up for her, you are likely to really miss it and then resent her for it.
 
Barbie said:
If clubbing is an important part of your life that you enjoy, if you give it up for her, you are likely to really miss it and then resent her for it.
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that is so true and i have seen that happen :cry:
 
Steve,

I think you should challenge yourself and try going clean.

Years ago I changed my habits and left class A and started going clubbing clean. It makes a strange change but at the end you learn to enjoy it again. And, if you like her that much and she is not into clubbing but doing the move for you, IMO she should be the best stimulus. And music too. ;)

I would neve leave a love story because of drugs but I would definitly leave drugs because of love
 
stuie said:
StevieG said:
Should I give up this side of my life for a v.gorgeous lass? :?:
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Are you fookin mad!! :lol: ;)
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Was last time I checked with the shrink. :lol:

Na its not like she's telling me what to do. She is v. anti dr*gs but in a way that has helped me sort myself out i.e no nose candy.

I proper like her, and all this 'normal' stuff isn't as bad as I thought. You know stay in, bottle of wine DVD etc.... I feel better about myself. I don't want to hide anything from her. I was thinking maybe a cheeky half or summit when I go out but then thats hiding something isn't it!
 
silvia said:
Steve,

I think you should challenge yourself and try going clean.

Years ago I changed my habits and left class A and started going clubbing clean. It makes a strange change but at the end you learn to enjoy it again. And, if you like her that much and she is not into clubbing but doing the move for you, IMO she should be the best stimulus. And music too. ;)

I would neve leave a love story because of drugs but I would definitly leave drugs because of love
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Cheers Silv,

Can see what your saying, but reckon I would miss all the loved upness/euphoric states. But then I keep thinking she is well worth it and it would do me good in the long run like. Such a toughie. Was even tempted to tell her but think it would go down like a lead baloon.
 
It's all about compromise.

Why not go clubbing less and when you do, take less - just enought to feel the vibe.

You could then do some of the things she enjoys in between.

In my experience, you soon get over the need to go clubbing all the time when you find other things to fill your social calendar.
 
StevieG said:
Cheers Silv,

Can see what your saying, but reckon I would miss all the loved upness/euphoric states. But then I keep thinking she is well worth it and it would do me good in the long run like. Such a toughie. Was even tempted to tell her but think it would go down like a lead baloon.
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You shouldn't have to live you life as a lie tho, you can accept her for having different interests to you and she should do the same with you.
 
Yes! Give it up for her!...Of course you should!
All that talk of finding it a struggle to turn down a free line?!?! What's that all about?

Coke is a nasty substance that gives you a false sense of security and confidence. EVERYBODY who does it to excess acts like a self important w*$ker (have you ever been to a 'c' fuelled house party for example? *yawn*). It's also very addictive and without slipping into worried mother mode, I think it's a habit that can worm its way into your life very easily and form an integral part of your existence.

It's a London thing! As vibrant and wonderful as this city is, it does have a habit of leading you down strange paths without you even realising.
Your latest love interest might serve as a welcome catalyst/wake up call to define what you want out of life (with the exception of awful ego-driven/American/factory line produced R&B sh!te!)

As far as the clubbing is concerned - of course you shoudn't quit it! If anyone told me to stop listening to my tunes, I'd throw them in the thames without hesitation.

...Oh and thanks for the distraction from work. I got right into that! :D
 
Does she know you like taking things? Have you talked about it? If you're prepared to go without then do so, if not then see if you can come to some agreement. You've already given something up, but don't do something you're not happy to. Barbie's spot on about the resntment thing.
 
Robder said:
Yes! Give it up for her!...Of course you should!
All that talk of finding it a struggle to turn down a free line?!?! What's that all about?

Coke is a nasty substance that gives you a false sense of security and confidence. EVERYBODY who does it to excess acts like a self important w*$ker (have you ever been to a 'c' fuelled house party for example? *yawn*). It's also very addictive and without slipping into worried mother mode, I think it's a habit that can worm its way into your life very easily and form an integral part of your existence.

It's a London thing! As vibrant and wonderful as this city is, it does have a habit of leading you down strange paths without you even realising.
Your latest love interest might serve as a welcome catalyst/wake up call to define what you want out of life (with the exception of awful ego-driven/American/factory line produced R&B *beep*!)

As far as the clubbing is concerned - of course you shoudn't quit it! If anyone told me to stop listening to my tunes, I'd throw them in the thames without hesitation.

...Oh and thanks for the distraction from work. I got right into that! :D
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pmsl ta for that. yeah I am well glad I'm off the candy and know what you mean about house parties etc, flat mate was off it last night and I was just laughing at him.

Right, reckon I'm gonna give this straight clubbing malarkey a go (well 10 cans of red bull and a pack of pro plus) :lol:

If it's no good I'll have to tell her. No point hiding things and as stated, I have to put up with Sean Paul/Sugababes/insert crap name etc..... :lol:
 
gingerfreak said:
Does she know you like taking things? Have you talked about it? If you're prepared to go without then do so, if not then see if you can come to some agreement. You've already given something up, but don't do something you're not happy to. Barbie's spot on about the resntment thing.
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No, I told her my ex was bang into it, but that I'm glad I quit :roll: terrible I know! But I am genuinely laying off things!!!
 
Take her clubbing until about 2-3am and then go home and give her a good seeeing too....both happy... :lol:

Naughties as you see fit... 8)
 
MidlifeRaver said:
Take her clubbing until about 2-3am and then go home and give her a good seeeing too....both happy... :lol:

Naughties as you see fit... 8)
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Yeah thought of that but its solid to get back to Kent from London at that time. The beauty of staying out wide eyed till 7-8 am is you can get the 1st train home.
 
StevieG said:
Trouble is I LOVE CLUBBING. I was thinking of taking her to fabbers/The End and going straight but it just wouldn't be the same and I'd be gutted. Should I give up this side of my life for a v.gorgeous lass? :?:
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ease her in gently with a nice small night... So..is 1 for example, where 99% of the crowds are ultra friendly, and the DJs great!

from what u said, if u hit her with a full on session she might not like it, then again, she might!
 
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