Office music

R

Robder

Active Member
The hip hop 'blood' 'bruv' 'ya get me?' tw*ts in my office have put all their cds on so I sent this round email...I'm expecting to become subject to a barrage of abuse in a few seconds so please fluff some pillows for me in the corner of the bunker. Thanks! ;)

To: All contacts

...

Please can we turn this music off because it's absolute g_sh.*

* This email is not intended to cause offense to any zone 4 'urbanites'. ;-))) xxx
 
Of course not!! :lol:

I do have another piece of news though - there's a very strange girl in the office who is getting married soon...I swear there is no soul in her relationship because all she ever talks about is how much money he has, shopping and expensive wedding accessories. It drives me mad I swear.

How do I say this without sounding like a bi-atch? :? ...well basically I don't think she's got many friends because Sue is going to be a bridesmaid. :lol:
I just got cornered in the kitchen and she said,
"Robalini (very annoying nickname), what are you doing on June 30th daaaaarling? (false, false, grrr) You have to keep it free, I've not sent any invites out yet."
*Robder panic sets in*
"Errrr - I think I'm in Ibiza" (complete lie)
"You HAVE to come, can you not cancel or come back early? 8O 8O 8O :lol: Sue is cutting her trip to Italy short so she can be there...can you not do the same?"
(I hardly know the girl!)

AND she's asked me four times today if I can change my holiday plans! 8O :lol: :lol: :lol:

Help me. 8O

(Am I horrid?)
 
You get to listen to music in your office 8O

Were not allowed so we all sit with our ipods on, im currently listning to Pete Tongs 6th Podcast 8)
 
Scoobie said:
no. anyone who would call you Robalini deserves no mercy. end of.
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I quite like the nickname Robalini! It's quite dictatorial yet with a hint of femininity.

My nicknames for people are a bit weirder, like wobbly wobbly tom tom, stick face w*nk face and sh*t d*ck fart breath :lol: (oh what a fun evening it was making those up for work collegues)
 
If she is marrying someone that rich and is that desperate for you to attend the wedding ask her to pay your flight back from Ibiza so that you can attend...

(that way you will be quids in - extra cash towards your flat!!)
 
puppylover said:
If she is marrying someone that rich and is that desperate for you to attend the wedding ask her to pay your flight back from Ibiza so that you can attend...

(that way you will be quids in - extra cash towards your flat!!)
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Go! What's the worst that could happen. Say you'll only go if you can be a bridesmaid and make a speech :lol:
 
naddyz said:
I quite like the nickname Robalini! It's quite dictatorial yet with a hint of femininity.

My nicknames for people are a bit weirder, like wobbly wobbly tom tom, stick face w*nk face and sh*t d*ck fart breath :lol: (oh what a fun evening it was making those up for work collegues)
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those nicknames are so yawn yawn boring:roll:.

you need to bring in some rhyming slang nicknames or links to famous people is always a good way to take the banter to the 2nd level.;)
 
puppylover said:
If she is marrying someone that rich and is that desperate for you to attend the wedding ask her to pay your flight back from Ibiza so that you can attend...

(that way you will be quids in - extra cash towards your flat!!)
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Good plan and then ask if you can be bridesmaid :lol:
 
I always find it really odd when people invite us to Weddings who we hardly know. :?
When I was planning our (cancelled) wedding I had trouble with keeping the numbers down, let alone inviting any Tom, Dick or Harry. :roll:

Tell her you can't make it but will buy her a gift, I'm sure that will ease her upset.
 
sandi said:
Tell her you can't make it but will buy her a gift, I'm sure that will ease her upset.
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Like f*ck!!!

The most she's getting out of me will be a horrid chinsy ornament from the pound shop! :lol:
 
Robder said:
Like f*ck!!!

The most she's getting out of me will be a horrid chinsy ornament from the pound shop! :lol:
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Nah - pound shops are soooo last year....

I would get something like fresh blackpudding or something meat based, hopefully they will be going on honeymoon before opening their presents, so by the time they get back it should be nicely ripe, or failing that, something that you find in a skip on the way back from dirty vauxhall...

btw - you dont put your name on the parcel when you leave it. Sometimes its even more fun to put someone's name on that you really hate..... (like Sue or Sarah perhaps)
 
puppylover said:
Nah - pound shops are soooo last year....

I would get something like fresh blackpudding or something meat based, hopefully they will be going on honeymoon before opening their presents, so by the time they get back it should be nicely ripe, or failing that, something that you find in a skip on the way back from dirty vauxhall...

btw - you dont put your name on the parcel when you leave it. Sometimes its even more fun to put someone's name on that you really hate..... (like Sue or Sarah perhaps)
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Fantastic idea! :lol:

A wrapped fresh piece of haddock will be winging its way to their home in time for their return from the horrid cringeworthy Sandals resort (which is exactly the sort of thing they're likely to do).

I'm feeling quite guilty actually - I really am bad aren't I?

(:twisted:)
 
McSandles Resorts look like my idea of hell too Robder. :evil:

I think we need to see some pics of the trinkets your thinking of buying. :p
 
Oh bless! :lol:

The new guy just enthusiastically asked me if I'd like a drink!

I said, 'thanks mate, I'll have a tea with milk and one sweetener'.

He's just come back with a cup of cold milk with one sweetner...:? :? :? :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'm too polite to tell him it's wrong so am having to go without a cup of tea and pretend to drink it. :lol:
 
Robder said:
Oh bless! :lol:

The new guy just enthusiastically asked me if I'd like a drink!

I said, 'thanks mate, I'll have a tea with milk and one sweetener'.

He's just come back with a cup of cold milk with one sweetner...:? :? :? :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'm too polite to tell him it's wrong so am having to go without a cup of tea and pretend to drink it. :lol:
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Awwwwwww how sweet - is he little and weedy with glasses and and a bad tie? We have a little guy like that who has started working in the post room..... use next to useless but loveable......
 
puppylover said:
Awwwwwww how sweet - is he little and weedy with glasses and and a bad tie? We have a little guy like that who has started working in the post room..... use next to useless but loveable......
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Actually he's quite a fit South African but it would be funnier if he fit your mould. :lol:
 
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