Office Etiquette

Boardgrrrrl

Boardgrrrrl

Active Member
How many times does someone have to cough a really phlemgy, smokers cough without putting their hand in front of their mouth, before you are allowed to pull out the sub-machine gun you've been saving for the boss, and blow them to smithereens?

Just curious.
 
Boardgrrrrl said:
How many times does someone have to cough a really phlemgy, smokers cough without putting their hand in front of their mouth, before you are allowed to pull out the sub-machine gun you've been saving for the boss, and blow them to smithereens?

Just curious.
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Assuming you have got limited ammunition for the machine gun, I would resort to plan B. Go and put a handkerchief on the dirty barstewards desk next time they fill the air with spittle.
 
Yes. Must save the ammo for when I walk out of here in a hail of bullets..... :lol:

However in the meantime I think I may throttle her with my bare hands. I can't even begin to describe how disgusting it is, coupled with a snotty sniff every 30 seconds....*shudder*
 
MiniMarc said:
you really dont like your office/work at the moment do you :D
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I'm actually much happier than I was this time last week believe it or not :lol:

It's just the constant snot and phlegm noises are really getting to me :spank: If you're so ill just **** off home - I don't want to hear it.
 
Boardgrrrrl said:
How many times does someone have to cough a really phlemgy, smokers cough without putting their hand in front of their mouth, before you are allowed to pull out the sub-machine gun you've been saving for the boss, and blow them to smithereens?

Just curious.
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Is it a proper smokers cough or one of those old peoples style coughs when they catch the lung fish in a hanky?
 
Some new words for the office


* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everybody and then leaves.

* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING..
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

(This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

* SWAMP DONKEY.
A deeply unattractive person..

* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

* OH-NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (e.g. You've hit 'reply all').

* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.


* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. Extremely impressive when viewed from the outside but there's actually nought in there worth seeing.

* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!'.

* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint and whisks away all the unattractive people ....
so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in !

* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* TRAMP STAMP.
Tattoo on a female.

* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
 
AJ76 said:
*SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
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I've been stuck in training this week with 2 salad dodgers who are on a Weight Watchers diet and they both spend forever counting their points and deciding what they can and cant eat.

I had to jump in with the fact I'm currently having about 4500 calories a day and staying exactly the same weight. Try doing some exercise you fat bints :D
 
Hilarious thread, and tbh i can see your annoyance...

Its rude and generally discusting to be doing that sort of stuff where other people breath your air...

I would personally, drop a fair few sarcastic remarks, but to the point she will eventually gather that you are actually narked off by her selfish actions :spank:

or just say 'Can you all do us a favour and f**k off home and be ill because myself and the others DONT want your illness'
 
There was a cold/flu thing getting passed about my office over winter and they boss got annoyed with everyone coming in and passing it about so went and spent about £100 on medecine and sent the ill folk home :lol:
 
I do think people prefer you to stay at home when you are ill

I remember when I came home from Mexico after the swine flu incident - they were very keen for me to stay at home for the rest of the week when I felt a bit "weird" :lol:
 
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