My (even more) uninteresting review Jul 7-20, USA to IBZ

drtechno

Active Member
Unfortunately, I don't have the time or wit to write something clever or humorous this year, but I figured I would get this down on "paper" in case it helps anybody else out. My disclaimer again this year is that the more 'commercial' nights we went to were a result of concessions I had to make to my buddy.. He picked some nights and I picked others.

Last years thread = http://www.ibiza-spotlight.com/forum/showthread.php?t=75570&highlight=

First off, the familiarity of Ibiza to Americans can be summarized as follows: (Boston airport) "Can you check my bags through to my final destination?" Airline attendant: "Let me see. All the way to ... I?? Ib ?? Wherever this place is." Me: "It's Ibiza"..
We went from July 7 thru July 20. Still have no idea what I owe my wife for letting me go for 2 weeks, but I'm sure it's a lot. We stayed at Ushuaia again, considering the beds are decent, rooms are good, great location, great pools, etc. With the added benefit of having 'free' admission so that you can party even on your "off" nights. Also allows very easy access to the Tower if you want to go up there for those nights. As always, the staff were always very nice without any drama some people run into. We had an awesome stay there, breakfasts kick ass, as do the pool facilities and the general lack of nobs. I'm pretty sure we also outstayed every other person there. We stumbled upon probably the only other group of Americans on the island, from LA. Very nice people, but man did they get messed up every night. They were there only for a week, and they ran their bodies ragged, let me tell you.

Our Ushuaia party nights, with my assessment, went as follows:
Mon - Guetta - Packed. Went between decent atmosphere/tracks and pure commercial crap and me trying not to act bored
Tues - Luciano - Packed. Probably my favorite night... I really love the way he mixes. Good music, good atmosphere, great stage setup.
Wed - (remnants of) Swedish House Mafia - Absolutely freakin mobbed. There was a line to get in that went around to the front door (!) of Ushuaia. As far as commercial nights went, probably the best one. Tons of women. Good light show. As good as the commercial music gets.
Thus - Loco Dice - Not massively packed.. still had room to dance. - I cannot, CANNOT, believe I missed Josh Wink. So pissed. Anyway, ended up at 2 of Dice's nights... The first was good, the second was (surprisingly) not that good; to dance to at least. I still enjoyed it.
Fri - Pete Tong - Not very full. Definitely the stinky bunghole of Ushuaia's lineup. Very variable too. Our first Friday it absolutely sucked. The second Friday it was decent.
Sat - Ants - Somewhat full - I enjoyed it, but when we saw it, it was quite 'heavy' already by 5pm. Very industrial and completely unlike the other nights. Definitely music you would want to get absolutely messy on.
Sun - Avicii - Very packed - Mixed for me. There are definitely some of his tracks that I enjoy, but there are other tracks that I hate more than any other commercial crap out there. I went between being happy and dancing, to seriously considering fighting my way onto the stage, grabbing him by the scruff of his hairy neck hair, while asking "What the F' were you thinking!".. perfect example is his recent track that sounds like its by a country singer.
Ushuaia Tower - We saw Sasha at the tower, which was a really great spot. The music was good, the place wasn't rammed, and the view was fantastic.
Ushuaia Tower pool - I think this was the 'We' party.. Saturday? Anyway, saw more Russians here, acting "Russian", then on a trans-Siberian railroad adventure with free vodka. Wow. The party was okay, kind of overly full and too much "Russian"ness going on for my tastes. Also, not that it matters, but if it was any gayer, I would have had to cork my asshole with one of the champagne corks flying around.

Our full on party nights were:
Carl Cox's opening - probably our worst night due to the sheer number of people there. Absolutely rammed, which seriously pissed me off given that you couldn't dance. Add in drunk guys that spend too much time at the gym, and you have the makings for an unpleasant night. Music was good and Carl Cox did a great set tho.
Pacha - Guetta - Yes we did VIP. It's the only way to go if you are going to go (please refer to my initial disclaimer). Anyway, had an awesome night. The music was actually decent to good. The crowd in our VIP section was good and even had some eye candy in the Romanian hottie in front of us.
Coccoon - Absolutely my favorite night. Awesome. It was a 6 or 7 hour Sven Vath set, from start to finish. This is the reason I keep going to IBZ, for nights like this. Great crowd, awesome music, fantastic vibe. Everyone was happy, respectful and there to dance. It was 'pleasantly full' meaning there was room to move, but never felt sparse. And the air conditioning system at Amnesia ! My god, such a relief, all the clubs should be doing this. I never felt like I was sweating my ass off. On our way out at 7am, we hit the usual Amnesia police alcohol checkpoint. I had such a good night I was going to jump out and kiss the cop, but decided against it. Also, first breathalyzer in my life, at age 38, so I was kind of excited ! I even got to keep the mouthpiece ! (Look honey, the mouthpiece from my first breathalyzer! Aren't you excited??) No problems of course.
Enter - Richie Hawtin - This was another banger. Absolutely loved it. Audion (new to me) had a phenomenal set from 3a-4a.. Richie came on at 4a and had a great set, and once again, there was a good crowd without it being too full to dance. However, there were idiots that just dropped their beer bottles and smashed them on the floor rather than walking 2 steps to put them down on the tables... that sort of pissed me off since then you were avoiding broken glass for the rest of the night. None of this crap happened at Coccoon as far as I saw.

As far as our daytime activities, we pretty much hung out by the pool at Ushuaia a lot (since it was so convenient, and free). We hired a car and I was reminded of how little horsepower typical european cars have.. I think ours had 80 hp, which is possibly 5 hp less than my electrical shaver. Since we had a car, we visited several distant beaches, which is a nice break from PDB (cala hort, aguas blancas, cala boix, cala tarida, las salinas). Also visited the single cave attraction up north, which was okay for a bit of a break. We almost died taking our s***box of a car on the dirt road up by Na Xamena. At one point, I thankfully scouted the dirt path up ahead on foot, only to find trees growing in the middle of the road. Presumably, this road is not used much except by Don Quixote and his donkey? Thankfully we hadn't driven the car down the hill there because otherwise we would have been in some serious trouble (think driving in reverse up a rocky slope with a cliff on one side and only enough room for a single car). As it was, by the time we got back onto normal roads, I had to change my underwear.

Finally, I will put my brief restaurant reviews in the open chat section, but we ate at a lot of different places, and all of them were good. Best bang for the buck is Bella Napoli, where their pizzas are surprisingly good for Europe (vs USA). Other places worth mentioning Minami (surprisingly not terribly expensive, with decent sushi but a small sushi seleciton), La Paloma (my favorite setting), KM5, El Ayoun, Bambuddha Grove (best single dinner in terms of vibe, food, hotties), Ushuaia beach bar (in retrospect, I'd rather pay the same money and eat at Minami), La Oliva in old town (reliably good). Also ate at the little beach bar in Aguas Blancas (good sandwichs).

If there is anything else I think of, I will let you guys know. Hopefully I will be back next year, but I may get chopped off :(

Quote of the trip: Me- "Yo, mate, what language were those guys speaking? German? Dutch?" .. Buddy- "No dude, they were speaking english with a Scottish accent." Didn't understand a f'n word.
 
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... Avicii ... There are definitely some of his tracks that I enjoy, but there are other tracks that I hate more than any other commercial crap out there. I went between being happy and dancing, to seriously considering fighting my way onto the stage, grabbing him by the scruff of his hairy neck hair, while asking "What the F' were you thinking!"...

:twisted:
 
Quote of the trip: Me- "Yo, mate, what language were those guys speaking? German? Dutch?" .. Buddy- "No dude, they were speaking english with a Scottish accent." Didn't understand a f'n word.


:lol: I love this! I spent lots of time discussing the language barriers last month after spending most of my trip with Americans. The 3 guys in the apartment next to me were from North Yorkshire, the blank look on my American pal's face when they were talking amongst themselves was priceless
 
Humorous

Don quixote road lol!
That is the name!!

Certainly you were not driving a ford mustang! More like a turn of the 19th century horse driven buggie.

Perhaps omish??? Lol

I shall stop there. Great lively review.
 
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Good review mate and a lot of useful info I'm sure you'll be back next year but maybe devorcied lol
 
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