Living Together
- Thread starter pink01
- Start date
its difficult for me to give you the full "grego agony aunt" treatment cos i haven't got a clue what either of you are like and therefore its difficult to fully understand your situation.
why do you see each other less?? you should surprise him, plan somethin off the cuff, something you know he'd like and would enjoy, perhaps even somethin you don't particularly like.
if he's sees you are making the effort, he should reciprocate. if not, there maybe other reasons for his attitude.
N.B. you could just give him (more of) what every man wants
why do you see each other less?? you should surprise him, plan somethin off the cuff, something you know he'd like and would enjoy, perhaps even somethin you don't particularly like.
if he's sees you are making the effort, he should reciprocate. if not, there maybe other reasons for his attitude.
N.B. you could just give him (more of) what every man wants
Yup, agree with Sirens. Best relationships are based on making an effort each and every time no matter if you live together. If one or both of you don't bother to make an effort then the "spark" goes. Making an effort doesnt have to be expensive - running a bath and putting candles around the room or re-creating a picnic in your garden/living room will mean you end up wanting to come home after work as you don't know what the other has planned and you don't end up sitting in front of the tv each night.
typical male response
puppylover
Active Member
pink01 said:
Dear Deidre in the Sun would say..
"Everything settles down once you move in together lovey.
Its all about making time for yourselves, set aside one or two nights a week where you recreate those heady days of a new romance. Turn the phone off. take the plug off the TV set and dedicate that time to you both and take the time to remember why you both fell for each other in the first place.
Deidre."
I did ask a friend of mine last week "so, Seth, what's married life like then?" to which he turned round and said "same as being single only the bills are half"...... romantic b@st@rd!!! -
pink01 said:
so basically the monotony of working/daily life has been compounded because you both brign that back with you, whereas previously...........to a certain extent you prob kept this seperate from each other.
don't worry about it. things never go well in my relationship when i don't spend time with my wife. its jsut a case of doing what has to be done work wise and making the most of the opportunites you do have to spoil/treat each other. moreover, when those opps don't exist, you have to create them.
I think sometimes if you want to set a new precident in relationships you have to do it through your actions rather than talking.
eg - "We never go out for dinner any more! What's going on? *whine*"
is probably less effective than:
"We never do stuff any more...so I thought we could go out for dinner on Friday - I've booked a table here."
He's bound to reciprocate that way and won't feel accused.
(why oh why did I introduce the Pilchard to this board?)
eg - "We never go out for dinner any more! What's going on? *whine*"
is probably less effective than:
"We never do stuff any more...so I thought we could go out for dinner on Friday - I've booked a table here."
He's bound to reciprocate that way and won't feel accused.
(why oh why did I introduce the Pilchard to this board?)
I've never lived with a guy, so I'm not the big expert on living with someone. however with the guy i'm seeing right now, we see each other a couple of evenings a week and then on the weekend.
I agree that you have to have a common ground, romantic meals, time together bla bla... BUT I do think that a good exciting sex life DOES make a difference ( and I'm not a guy!)
IMO nice dinners, weekends away, going mountain biking together (or whatever you enjoy doing together) is important... but if your sex life just becomes routine and mechanical, it can sour everything..
The physical side of a relationship is VERY important IMO.. try sparking up that side for a bit!
good luck!
I agree that you have to have a common ground, romantic meals, time together bla bla... BUT I do think that a good exciting sex life DOES make a difference ( and I'm not a guy!)
IMO nice dinners, weekends away, going mountain biking together (or whatever you enjoy doing together) is important... but if your sex life just becomes routine and mechanical, it can sour everything..
The physical side of a relationship is VERY important IMO.. try sparking up that side for a bit!
good luck!
Apart from football we never have TV on if we're at home in an evening (oh except for Tuesdays when Tom is 'allowed' to watch Lost ) - I think TV kills relationships, we always find things to talk about or to minx about doing in an evening - even if it's just me entertaining Tom with yet another fashion show
) - I think TV kills relationships, we always find things to talk about or to minx about doing in an evening - even if it's just me entertaining Tom with yet another fashion show Don't worry about it. This has happened to everyone I know,
(except myself - apparently she never knows where she stands with me which I think means every day is new and exciting - so that's nice)
...but the trick is to make sure you don't accept this situation.
A good screaming match alway sorts it out. Make sure your fella's home at the time though. Or it sort of misses the point.
At least he goes to the gym still. Could be worse he could just be a fat lazy bastard. Go out for the day, even if it's just to the Park or something. And make each other laugh!! Seriousness is a fatal disease.
Or buy a cat, that will give you a common focus for your affections and you will see if he has a parental instinct.
I now have ten cats. And no kids. But we never have time to argue, we're too busy defleaing the house.
(except myself - apparently she never knows where she stands with me which I think means every day is new and exciting - so that's nice)
...but the trick is to make sure you don't accept this situation.
A good screaming match alway sorts it out. Make sure your fella's home at the time though. Or it sort of misses the point.
At least he goes to the gym still. Could be worse he could just be a fat lazy bastard. Go out for the day, even if it's just to the Park or something. And make each other laugh!! Seriousness is a fatal disease.
Or buy a cat, that will give you a common focus for your affections and you will see if he has a parental instinct.
I now have ten cats. And no kids. But we never have time to argue, we're too busy defleaing the house.
Hooray - Home at last...dog in tow...
My tuppence worth....
You have to work at relationships... they take a lot of time & effort on both sides.... Both people in a relationship will have different wants and needs at different times....Talking about it together, recognising the areas that need work...is key....
Just try not to get too serious about it....it's supposed to be fun....
And it's always easier to give advice than it is to take it
My tuppence worth....
You have to work at relationships... they take a lot of time & effort on both sides.... Both people in a relationship will have different wants and needs at different times....Talking about it together, recognising the areas that need work...is key....
Just try not to get too serious about it....it's supposed to be fun....
And it's always easier to give advice than it is to take it
