Kids before marriage??

[Scoobie]

I don't think it makes any difference- I know lot of people who have had kids without getting married, and it really doesn't make any difference.

Having said that I want to be married before I have children. I can't explain why though. Think I'm a bit old fashioned deep down

nowt wrong with that!!

i think I would rather be married, given the choice, just wondering if it's gonna be possible/practical?
Im 35, she's 32, just bought the house which is taking all our money at the mo, I want to do my swansong in Ibiza next year, then have kids at end of next year, just dont thing i'll have time or money to do it all

your position is pretty much the same as ours- except we haven't got the house sorted yet

 

[MARKB]

quote]

, I want to do my swansong in Ibiza next year, then have kids at end of next year, [/quote]

SNAP!!!

I bought our house last year (moved in the day we got back from Ibiza - talk aboot a ferking comedoon ), cancelled our big castle wedding - it should have been last saturday - hahaha - went to Goa last Nov, got married there for a fraction AND IT WAS AMAZING, now I'm off to Marrakesh this year and Goa again in March with a view to blessing my wife with my evil seed afterward our own Swansong in Ibiza in June 2006. At which point we'll have hopefully kerbed our wanderlust for a bit - at least until MarkB Jnr can hold his own on the Terrace at Space. (9 months i reckon)

Big Wedding - great if you're a guest, bollocks if you've got to pay for it.

 

[mambobirdette]

Marriage first JJ

And they'll never be a right time to have kids, its of those things you just have to cope with financially.

 

[silvia]

We said if we had a kid outside wedlock 'it' would have my surname, which would be good for the schooling etc.

Really?
If you are not married the kid gets the surname of the mother?

 

[mambobirdette]

We said if we had a kid outside wedlock 'it' would have my surname, which would be good for the schooling etc.

Really?
If you are not married the kid gets the surname of the mother?

and why would it be good for the schooling

 

[silvia]

Big Wedding - great if you're a guest, bollocks if you've got to pay for it.

And not always is great being a guest

I agree with Bella that kids and marriage don't go together.
I actually don't belive in marriage, I belive in having a comon project of life and being commited to this project, so looking at this way I'm totally married with Pep
We are considering in having a baby and we will get married at some point cos the benefits in Spain if you are married are mainly related to taxs and heritages and only if you have patrimony or kids.
Anyway, if we ever get married we have clear that will be the oposite to the castle, probably just a family meal or a party

 

[Barbie]

I never want children so it makes no difference to me. I'm sure me and Tom will go off one day and get married but we've already been together 6+ years, bought our own place together 4+ years ago so I can't see a bit of paper changing things massively for us as we already feel as together as together can be

 

[jjinit]

I never want children so it makes no difference to me. I'm sure me and Tom will go off one day and get married but we've already been together 6+ years, bought our own place together 4+ years ago so I can't see a bit of paper changing things massively for us as we already feel as together as together can be

you're like my friends in Manc, married, nice house, never want kids, reckon he'll prob have the snip soon!! She does get broody now & then I think but "they don't talk about it"

 

[Barbie]

you're like my friends in Manc, married, nice house, never want kids, reckon he'll prob have the snip soon!! She does get broody now & then I think but "they don't talk about it"

We're the opposite, I've not got a maternal bone in my body whereas Tom does like the idea of babies one day (altho I think it's more to do with his illusion of kicking a football round with a little boy in a Chelsea kit ) but we've talked about it and he accepts my decision not to so we're going to get lots of pups instead

 

[silvia]

We're the opposite, I've not got a maternal bone in my body whereas Tom does like the idea of babies one day (altho I think it's more to do with his illusion of kicking a football round with a little boy in a Chelsea kit ) but we've talked about it and he accepts my decision not to so we're going to get lots of pups instead

I was talking yesterday to my best friend about babies. I definitly prefer having boys cos this way Pep will be all day playing foooty, going to barça and doing all that father and son things and I would have time to go to the beach and do girlies things

 

[kes]

you're like my friends in Manc, married, nice house, never want kids, reckon he'll prob have the snip soon!! She does get broody now & then I think but "they don't talk about it"

We're the opposite, I've not got a maternal bone in my body whereas Tom does like the idea of babies one day (altho I think it's more to do with his illusion of kicking a football round with a little boy in a Chelsea kit ) but we've talked about it and he accepts my decision not to so we're going to get lots of pups instead

My mates misses has been getting broody so he's brought her some Sea Monkeys

http://www.sea-monkeys.com/

 

[Barbie]

I was talking yesterday to my best friend about babies. I definitly prefer having boys cos this way Pep will be all day playing foooty, going to barça and doing all that father and son things and I would have time to go to the beach and do girlies things

But boys wear such boring clothes, if godforbid I had to have a baby I'd like a little me running round dressed in pink

 

[Morbyd]

I love kids... that is, other people's kids (friends, family).

You get to play with them for a few minutes, then give them back and go on your merry way. Perfect.

The missus and I had a 5 year plan for kids after the wedding, but I keep putting it off (it's been 7.5 years now). I'm still not quite ready to think seriously about the idea.

Russians think I'm absolutely insane... 33, married so long, and no kids? On average, people tend to get married younger here and reproduce immediately.

 

[Jam Man]

Depends how much importance you put on marriage really.....

I wans't ready to get married - until we got married

I wasn't ready to have kids - until Mrs Jam got pregnant.


I don't think there's a social stigma to it like there was maybe 20 years ago.

All I would say on the practical side is that now Mini-me has been born, we would struggle to pay for the wedding that we had. One salary, and wanting/needing to buy things for him is a double whammy.

 

[silvia]

But boys wear such boring clothes, if godforbid I had to have a baby I'd
like a little me running round dressed in pink

THat's the only handicap for boys, but I have three nieces and I can play pink with them

 

[Drew]

I now found it hard to believe people say they never EVER want kids.

Me and my partner were absolutely adament that we never would but i think once you get into your 30's you start to see things a whole lot differently.

My partner always said "i'll never learn to drive or have kids" and she's already broken one of those rules so who knows what's around the corner

I wouldn't say we're particularly trying or not trying but if it happens we'd be over the moon. If it doesn't we'll still be just as happy and get on with our lives as we are doing now.

 

[silvia]

I now found it hard to believe people say they never EVER want kids.

Me and my partner were absolutely adament that we never would but i think once you get into your 30's you start to see things a whole lot differently.

My partner always said "i'll never learn to drive or have kids" and she's already broken one of those rules so who knows what's around the corner

I wouldn't say we're particularly trying or not trying but if it happens we'd be over the moon. If it doesn't we'll still be just as happy and get on with our lives as we are doing now.

I have few friends in their mid 30's, in very strong relationships, with nice lifes and all that who always said no kids and who will never had kids.


BTW, can you answer my question about the family name, please?

 

[Leese]

Am with Babs on this, kids are a big no no right now! I dont think I could handle one, pups all the way

I'm engaged but have made no plans for the marriage yet, I do want to be married to Paul, but a wedding is not something I would get in debt for. When we're financially comfortable, that'll be the right time. I'm not having anything big, its a day for me and Paul, and we're the only 2 that will matter We have spoke about children recently and I'm slowly coming round to the idea of a little one, once we move abroad, and if we can afford not to work, or have our own business, then I want a little girl with dark skin and dark curly hair, if I can find one

 

[Barbie]

I now found it hard to believe people say they never EVER want kids.

Me and my partner were absolutely adament that we never would but i think once you get into your 30's you start to see things a whole lot differently.

My partner always said "i'll never learn to drive or have kids" and she's already broken one of those rules so who knows what's around the corner

I wouldn't say we're particularly trying or not trying but if it happens we'd be over the moon. If it doesn't we'll still be just as happy and get on with our lives as we are doing now.

I think it's quite easy to say it if you're totally sure, I've said it all my life, even my mum says to me 'don't ever have kids Sar cos you'd be the worse mum in the world' I openly admit I haven't got a maternal bone in my body, I don't even like other people's babies and kids around me.

Me and Tom have everything we want in life and are more than complete and nothing in our life is going to change to such a degree in the next 5 years that would make us change our mind.

 

[Drew]

We said if we had a kid outside wedlock 'it' would have my surname, which would be good for the schooling etc.

Really?
If you are not married the kid gets the surname of the mother?

Really?

I know lots of people where the kid's taken the fathers name.

Makes life easier if you get married after.