Well-Known Member
How do find Will Smith when he's lost in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.

(Cheers Popbitch!)
I got fired from work today for 'creating a Photoshop picture of me giving the Boss' 18 year old daughter one from behind whilst she was tied up, and emailing it to everyone in the department'.

A few people thought it was funny, most were disgusted, but I'm just confused.

What's Photoshop?
2 drunks on the Tube in London

One says to the other "Is this Wembley"

No its Thursday

So am I lets go for a drink......
What's the difference between Father Christmas and Tiger Woods?

Father Christmas only does three ho's


Colin the Aborigine

A rich man living in Darwin decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbours. He also invited Colin,the only aborigine in the neighbourhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating prawns, oysters and BBQ and flirting.

At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 15ft man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in.

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Colin in the pool fighting the croc, jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of stuff like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping the croc through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Colin and the croc were screaming and raising hell..

Finally Colin strangled the croc and let it float to the top like a dead goldfish.

Colin then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.

The host says, 'Well, Colin, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'

'Nah, you all right boss, I don't want it,' said Colin.

The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'

'No thanks. I don't want it,' answered Colin.

The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something.

That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?

Again, Colin said "No."

Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well Colin, then what do you want?

Colin said, I want the bastard that pushed me in.

Liverpool FC visited the local childrens Hospital recently

"Its nice to put a smile on the face of people less fortunate than ourselfes and facing an uncertain future" said James Fuller aged 7