Investing in death!

[Buckley]

Just had a meeting with a financial adviser and one of the things he'd like me to invest is very old Americans!

Apparently America has always had a better attitude to personal finance and each citizen is marched to the bank and bomb-proofed with life assurance, pensions and other insurances. As a result, they have an army of childless, kinless baby boom kids with no-one to benefit from these policies when they cark it.

So......all American GPs now ask their ill old patients if they have such policies and this one firm buys them off at a knock down rate, giving them cash to enjoy while they live and avoiding the other route via which the insurance companies get to keep the would be payout. So, in effect, I can invest 10 old folks and each time one of them buys the farm, it's payola time! Get this - you can even monitior the progress of your very own expiring fogies with medical reports!

Everyone's a winner!

(I'm far too cynical to believe it's that easy but I'm interest to see the historic data and projections he's gonna send on!)

"Anyone take 5-1 to one on Beryl, 87, in the blue cardigan to peg out before Christmas?"

 

[Mark Sun]

 

[Buckley]

Hey - how's old Morbyd?

John? How you feeling today? Keep out of the gym won't you. And crack on with those beers. Do you smoke? It would make you look very cool, you know....

 

[Mark Sun]

Hey - how's old Morbyd?

John? How you feeling today? Keep out of the gym won't you. And crack on with those beers. Do you smoke? It would make you look very cool, you know....

pmsl

 

[Buckley]

Hey - how's old Morbyd?

John? How you feeling today? Keep out of the gym won't you. And crack on with those beers. Do you smoke? It would make you look very cool, you know....

pmsl

Gotta be a winner if I can muster up ten Septics from this board. They're all gonna party themselves into an early grave anyway and probably won't get around to popping out sprogs! (I, meanwhile, will rescind my youthful follies, live a healthy life and survive to reap the benefits when they shuffle off their mortal coil one-by-one ).

 

[x-amount]

In all seriousness, that's close to my line of work. If you want some serious advice, then "we" do all kinds of US based health Insuracnce here.

I'm a semi-expert on US healthcare, and could bore you for hours on it. No, really...

 

[Buckley]

In all seriousness, that's close to my line of work. If you want some serious advice, then "we" do all kinds of US based health Insuracnce here.

I'm a semi-expert on US healthcare, and could bore you for hours on it. No, really...

I'll mail you what he sends and you can advise sir!

"Semi-expert" - does that you good knowledge about part of it or sketchy vague knowledge about all of it?

 

[Buckley]

I wonder how it works. Are octagenerians more expensive than septengenerians because they're nearer to paydirt? (Paydirt - how apt!)

 

[x-amount]

In all seriousness, that's close to my line of work. If you want some serious advice, then "we" do all kinds of US based health Insuracnce here.

I'm a semi-expert on US healthcare, and could bore you for hours on it. No, really...

I'll mail you what he sends and you can advise sir!

"Semi-expert" - does that you good knowledge about part of it or sketchy vague knowledge about all of it?

Let's just say I sit within 5 yards of the greatest minds in the London Market with statistical analysis of said subject.

And I'll be able to translate it to you, and happily pass their expertise of as my own.

Can't beleive my job may actually help someone! I'm sick of seeing my mates that are builders and chippys etc who have skills that can help "real" people!

 

[Buckley]

Hey - how's old Morbyd?

John? How you feeling today? Keep out of the gym won't you. And crack on with those beers. Do you smoke? It would make you look very cool, you know....

What with Chelsea's 'dramatic downturn in form*' and his absence from the board today I wonder if he's got suicide cover. I'm worried now

*Translation: Been knocked out of a cup that ranks along Fronty's heroes Ibiza Primary Schools Tin Pot these days

 

[MARKB]

For a small percentage premium I would be happy to offer my services to speed up your rate of return.

I could travel round USA with a Pot Noodle Horn and frighten them to death with a lethal "PARP" as they queue to buy their golfing slacks (as apparrently that's what old folks from the states wear)

Let me know - I have time off early next year.

 

[Robder]

Classic!

Top tip off:

I've got a couple of REALLY heavy weekends ahead so I'll be the bookies' farm biting favourite if anyone wants to invest.

 

[Buckley]

Let's just say I sit within 5 yards of the greatest minds in the London Market with statistical analysis of said subject.

Right, just said it. Now what? Or is it three times looking in a mirror?

 

[Buckley]

Classic!

Top tip off:

I've got a couple of REALLY heavy weekends ahead so I'll be the bookies' farm biting favourite if anyone wants to invest.

Freudian slip of the week!

 

[Robder]

 

[Buckley]

I'm guessing your/hubby's (can't remember) flatmate won't be allowed to bet have already watched/heard the result!

 

[Robder]

Oh my lord I hadn't made the connection!

Hysterical! No I think it would be unfair because the flat mate does have connections and access to information from the inside.

- Oh God that made me chuckle.

 

[Mark Sun]

SPOTLIGHT GOLD

 

[Robder]

Still giggling...and fyi just spat salad all over my desk.

 

[Buckley]

Oh my lord I hadn't made the connection!

Hysterical! No I think it would be unfair because the flat mate does have connections and access to information from the inside.

- Oh God that made me chuckle.

It may worry the current Mrs B that 'pillow biting' is more in my field of reference than yours!