I'm going to get......
- Thread starter Buckley
- Start date
Buckley
Well-Known Member
Buckley did the bloke come round and sort you out?
Nah. All hot air.
Morbyd
Moderator
Ya, Buckers. Do tell. We've been worriedBuckley did the bloke come round and sort you out?
vroom
Active Member
From my experience you need to nip these things in the bud early.
First call him and acknowledge receipt of the certificates, tell him he can collect them tomorrow at 11.47am.
Imbibe the water from cacti and head to the zoo. Make an intricate tracing of a lima and/or a baboon onto expensive cardboard from Rymans stationers. Hit the acid, hard. Now head to the nearest wetherspoons and get stuck into the snakebite. Maybe have some chips, you may be hungry? Mandy in the ****ter to keep your spirits up is a must.
Off to Sheffield now so you will need a clear head, pick up some diesel, some ket and Ritalin. Diesel for smokin wheelspins on the back (important) of the cards to make them look authentic. Ket and Ritalin to ensure you don't go the wrong way up the M1.
Head to club wow, it's ****ing dire but the ket will help and this is where you will get the glitter for your forgeries, just rub them cards on the faces of the youths, the sweat will hold it on. Almost done.
Back to London, timewise you should be at 9.33am, head into the fancy dress shop as you will want to look like a authority figure. Pick up a suitable costume, astronaut, Hitler, doctor, wizard, you get the idea.
In the office by 11.30, double espresso and a fag to chill out. Write some **** on the cards like, doctorate or MBA and bang on some foreign stamps.
11.47 Hand cards to ned and tell him to shut his ****ing yap.
Job done. Relax.
First call him and acknowledge receipt of the certificates, tell him he can collect them tomorrow at 11.47am.
Imbibe the water from cacti and head to the zoo. Make an intricate tracing of a lima and/or a baboon onto expensive cardboard from Rymans stationers. Hit the acid, hard. Now head to the nearest wetherspoons and get stuck into the snakebite. Maybe have some chips, you may be hungry? Mandy in the ****ter to keep your spirits up is a must.
Off to Sheffield now so you will need a clear head, pick up some diesel, some ket and Ritalin. Diesel for smokin wheelspins on the back (important) of the cards to make them look authentic. Ket and Ritalin to ensure you don't go the wrong way up the M1.
Head to club wow, it's ****ing dire but the ket will help and this is where you will get the glitter for your forgeries, just rub them cards on the faces of the youths, the sweat will hold it on. Almost done.
Back to London, timewise you should be at 9.33am, head into the fancy dress shop as you will want to look like a authority figure. Pick up a suitable costume, astronaut, Hitler, doctor, wizard, you get the idea.
In the office by 11.30, double espresso and a fag to chill out. Write some **** on the cards like, doctorate or MBA and bang on some foreign stamps.
11.47 Hand cards to ned and tell him to shut his ****ing yap.
Job done. Relax.