How to get rid of your staff in a recession !


Active Member
This happened in singapore recently. :eek:

A fire alarm, in a large office building, rang at 4 p.m. when almost all of the company's
500 employees were at work.
As usual in such circumstances the entire office was evacuated within 3 mins & every
employee gathered outside.

Nothing happened for ten minutes or so and there was no evidence of a fire.

Then the firms Security Officer made an announcement ...

"Dear employees, with melting heart I am making this announcement that for many
of you will be your last fire evacuation drill. Due to the recession the company are
laying off almost fifty percent of staff. When you move back into the building some
of you will discover that your swipe passcard will no longer give you access to the
office. If you are among those laid off, go home and all your belongings will be
couriered to you tomorrow.
The management took this approach to save on overloading the email system with
layoff notifications and goodbye messages and also to avoid any violent outbursts
inside the office. Hope you have a nice career ahead ...
please move forward and try your swipe card."


One way i suppose :lol:
I cant wait to get laid off.
Me too. 3 months severance under Russian law. Then I'm off to Goa to live on the beach for a month, followed by a trek through S/SE Asia to China & Australia. Oh, and I'm going to finally do that Kilimanjaro thing. Then look for a new job once the recession is over. Got it all planned :lol: