has anyone got popbitch?
- Thread starter zarbtron
- Start date
for the lovely young kang:
holy moly
Shame-y Winehouse
After last week's story about her worrying behaviour on the Charlotte Church Show, I was sent this story about tattooed liability Amy Winehouse.
She was in 'trendy Camden watering hole' The Hawley Arms last week and a mole spotted her in the queue for the unisex toilet upstiars.
After waiting impatiently for all of two minutes, she stormed past the two people ahead of her and banged on the toilet door.
Amy Winehouse: "Who's in there?"
[pause]
AW [louder]: "Who's in there?"
Voice From Toilet: "Who's that?"
AW: "Amy. What the **** are you doing? I know you're both in there!"
VFT: "What?"
AW: "Let me in! Are you doing **** in there? Let me in! You know I like ****. Give me **** now, you ****ers!"
Sadly for Amy, the toilet door remained firmly closed and she stormed off. Guess not everyone likes scat as much as Amy Winehouse.
Amy Winehouse's new single is still called 'Rehab'.
The Grapes Of Writhe
Win your Xmas night out at The London Dungeon!
In the 1880's, the people of London lived their squalid lives against a background of immorality, drunkenness, crime and violence. Robbery and assault were commonplace and the streets were ruled by gangs.
So nothing's ****ing changed then. Except, you know, there's no Jack the Ripper going round killing prostitutes.
Thanks to The London Dungeon, you can win a top night out for you and 4 of your mates. If you fancy having your ass scared off whilst drinking cocktails, just email blag@holymoly.co.uk and tell us what date the Ripper murders stopped.
Go here to book!
Deal Or Nose Deal?
Two weeks ago, I told you about a daytime TV presenter whose drug intake is more terrifying than awe-inspiring (he has a growing taste for 'caramelised MDMA').
His coke consumption is now daily but he gets his friends to collect it and post the wraps through his door. Which is all, because of the regularity of deliveries, getting on their nerves.
He's currently obsessing about doing a "£500 deal" and gets very excited when discussing it with friends.
So how has someone with his profile managed to keep his escalating habit out of the papers? His mates at the papers do almost as much coke as him and have a 'gentleman's agreement' in place to keep quiet.
Is this why Richard Hammond crashed?
The Libel-ertines
Jacqueline Doherty - mother of junkie panhandler Pete - has just published a book about her boy (Pete Doherty My Prodigal Son: The Extraordinary Story Of A Mother's Love).
Pete and Johnny Borrell from Razorlight go way back (playing in bands together, sharing flats etc.) and both their mothers are well acquainted.
On the day Jacqueline's book came out, Johnny's mum (in her electric wheelchair) tootled into Waterstones on Camden High Street and demanded to see a copy of the book ("In case that slaaaaaaaa-ggg has libeled me"). She spent a futile two hours parked up in the shop trying to find something in the book she could sue over.
TV Dragon In 'Worst Marketing Campaign Ever' Shokka
"My local gym has just turned into a Bannatyne's gym after many years as a Living Well.
In reception this week, heaps of copies of Duncan Bannatyne's autobiography (Anyone Can Do It: From An Ice-Cream Van To Dragons' Den) suddenly appeared. Next to them is a sign explaining that, if 25 copies are sold there, Duncan himself will come along and put in a personal appearance at the gym!"
The Clothes Horse Show
Former Blue Peter and Clothes Show presenter, Tim Vincent is a big hit with the ladies. Until they actually get intimate with him.
One of his ex-girlfriends says that he kisses "like an aggressive horse".
One Trick Pony
Keeping with the equestrian theme, a mole writes in with this story about John Leslie.
"He tried to chat me up in the Atlantic bar a few years ago. As part of his 'patter', he came up with this immortal line: 'You look like a nice girl. Mind if I feed the pony?' and then tried to grope my fanny."
Best. Obituary. Ever.
Beef Curtain Call
Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Asher D-estroyed
UK garage also-ran Asher D wasn't even the best rapper in So Solid Crew. So, why did he think it was a good idea to challenge any takers in a crowded club to a rap battle?
Watch the whole thing through your fingers here.
'Thriller' - Bollywood style
Re: Tarrant on TV
"I was appalled to be shown a nearly naked man being violated with a candle on his nether regions covered in hot wax and a matchstick placed in his personal aperture, with close-ups, whilst being strapped into some sort of 'stocks'. It is pathetic, perverse and downright dangerous.
I cannot understand why heads do not roll over such disgusting, revolting transmissions."
(By the way, 'personal aperture?')
Re: Emmerdale
"I would like to say that I think the young actress chosen to play Victoria is totally wrong for the part.
A young girl does not change from blonde to brunette (and Asian) during a trip to Spain!"
It's The Great Holy Moly! X Factor Drinking Game
When watching the X Factor tomorrow night, play this drinking game. The rules are as follows:
1. Random family member of one of the contestants shouts out indecipherable encouragement - drink two fingers
2. One of the judges gets 'panto villain' booing for their comments - drink for duration of the booing
3. Shot of family member wearing t-shirt with contestant's face cheaply printed on it - one finger
4. Louis mispronounces 'Saturday' as 'Sarr-day' - finish drink
5. A contestant says, "It's been an incredible journey" - switch drinks
6. Any of the judges tells an act, "You made the song your own" - three fingers
7. Louis says, "I love you, the audience love you, and the public will love you as well" - finish your drink
8. A performer cries - empty your glass
9. Louis praises an obviously piss-poor performance by one of his acts - empty your glass
10. Sharon makes a lecherous remark about any male performer - empty your glass, fill it up and empty it again, crying hot, salty tears.
And Finally...
A big thankyou to all the brands and people that made the book launch such a success. Sorry i missed you Neil Sean, maybe next time x
In no particular order, thanks to:
Vladivar Vodka for booze
Griffin Technology =for the amazing iTrips
Arena Magazine
Good Vibes Power
Trivium
Bench clothing
Hooch clothing
Hawaiian Tropic
Tomy Yujin Europe
Capital Chicks
You will all go to heaven forever.
popbitch
*****************************************************
Fashion lovers, this season's must-have is The
Clothes Show. The brand new series is exclusive
to UKTV Style, Sundays, 6pm.
http://tinyurl.com/y99bao
*****************************************************
"I feel like my rainbow is starting to
come.' Tara Reid
-----------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 19.10.06 ISSUE 322
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
* India Knight v Julie Burchill
* Il Divo - divs or divas?
* Charts: Razorlight are number one
-----------------------------------------------------
>> War Games <<
Heather goes out on a limb
What could have made Heather Mills-McCartney
angry enough to have thrown such lurid
accusations at her husband this week? Well,
Macca's legal team had suggested to Heather
that they weren't sure she should be entitled
to anything from Sir Paul as she had
misrepresented herself at the time of the
wedding by not revealing she had, in effect,
been a prostitute.
And Heather does have a history of delusional
flights of fantasy. There's a journalist at
Private Eye also called Heather Mills who
discovered that Mills-McCartney had been going
around pretending to be her for a while.
-----------------------------------------------------
Tinshill Learning Centre in Leeds let their 14-16
year-old students have a fag in a smoking room during
breaks, as long as they have a note from their parents.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Il Divo: Divs or Divas? <<
Opera troupe not fans of Sideways
Opera lightweights Il Divo have a tour rider
filled with many fussy requests. So at one
US show staff decided to test just how
classy these divas really are. The warblers
specify that they have to have superior
"Italian wines ONLY" so staff bought them
one $8 red table wine, and a $60 pinot noir.
After the gig the cheapo table wine was
all gone, but the Pinot Noir was untouched
*****************************************************
Jade Goody wants a P.A who is not "fuzzled by fame"
but has she found the perfect person yet?
Jade's PA, Mondays at 10pm, LIVINGtv:
http://tinyurl.com/s3c6e
*****************************************************
>> Eating's a fag <<
Russian jobseeker does a David Blaine
Agasi Vartanyan of Shlisselburg, near St.
Petersburg, has broken the world record for
fasting. He spent fifty days in an elevated glass
box in the town centre. Agasi lost his job
this summer as a construction worker so had no
money to buy food so he thought he'd make
the best of the situation. He built the glass
box, filled it with 150 litres of water,
clothes, bedding an electric heater and
50 packs of cigarettes.
-----------------------------------------------------
RIP Big Boy. The alligator from Live and Let Die died
this week at his home in Beaver Water World, Kent.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which fashion designer is designing a high-
end sportswear range for the high street
but stipulated in his contract that he
doesn't want any other gay designers working
in his team?
Which Hollywood fitness freak leading man
has managed to restore his diminishing
hairline thanks to a combination of surgery
and rogaine? Sadly its not all good news.
The side-effects of the drug treatment
means that nowadays he needs more
viagra than Hugh Heffner
-----------------------------------------------------
Buddies Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConaughey call
each other by nicknames: LiveStrong and J.K. Livin.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Paedo pop <<
Rod Stewart does a Chris Langham
Rod Stewart told Blender magazine that he
first met Paris Hilton when she was 14.
"She was very attractive then," says Rod,
"I happened to notice. She would have
definitely fallen into the right parameters."
-----------------------------------------------------
This week the people rumoured to be talking to
BBC about UK's Eurovision entry: Ace of Base
and Peter Andre.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Hey good lookin' <<
What ya got cookin'?
Bartender Zach Bowen became one of the most
famous faces of Hurricane Katrina. He refused
to leave the French Quarter of New Orleans,
and was offered shelter by a fellow bartender
who quickly became his new girlfriend,
Addie Hall. Hall and Bowen helped clean up the
streets and invited reporters round for
cocktails and cigarettes, claiming "We're
having a civilised hurricane." Sadly, Addie
ended up this week in a cooking pot and Bowen
jumped off the roof of the Omni Hotel on
Tuesday. Police found his girlfriend's head
in a pot on the stove, and her legs and feet
inside he oven. The couple had recently moved
into this flat. It was above the Voodoo
Spiritual Temple and Cultural Centre.
-----------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Chinese history, language and
literature scholar - Oberlin College Sophia
University's David L ****.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Popbits <<
This week's secret seven
1. Rumours are flying around that Pauline Fowler
gets written out of Eastenders by dying of AIDS.
2. Some American Rolling Stone fans are
claiming Ronnie Wood is bald.
3. 1997 - Eddie Murphy arrested after picking up
a black transvestite prostitute in Los Angeles
2007 - Eddie Murphy expecting child (his seventh)
with Scary Spice.
4. 'I'm worried Kate Moss' daughter will be
exposed to drugs' claims grandfather.
5. Those of you who prefer genitals to be
hairless are all acomoclitics.
6. Bird impersonator Percy Edwards provided
the voice of the alien in Alien.
7. Meat Loaf used to be vegetarian, But
now he's not.
FYI: Send us your favourite weird fact and win
a signed picture disk of Mr Loaf's new single
Email hello@popbitch.com.
-----------------------------------------------------
Jesse, a labrador-German shepherd mix, saved her 49
year-old disabled owner from a house fire in Wisconsin,
but died when she went back in to rescue the cat.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> What not to say <<
Mica Paris lords it over Dido.
Jonnyteasmade writes:
"When Dido was recording her first solo album,
she used Mica Paris' parking spot at the studio
by mistake. Mica told her to **** off and
move the car." Nice.
-----------------------------------------------------
Today's Daily Telegraph obituaries list includes a
man with the name of Lt Col Pine-Coffin.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Muslims are not the new jews <<
Knight and Burchill's bitch-fight
India Knight wrote in her last Sunday Times
column that "Muslims are the new Jews", where
she attacked negative attitudes towards the veil.
Julie Burchill wrote in reply to the paper's
letters page:
Dear India Knight, I dare you to walk into any
mosque... and spread your tidings that "Muslims
are the new Jews". You'll be lucky if you get out
alive. PS I see that your new book is a compilation
of dirty bits from novels. I'd love to know how
this fits in with your new found love of
feminine modesty and discretion.
The subsequent email exchange:
To Julie Burchill From India Knight.
Oh for ****'s sake. I don't have a "newfound
love of modesty and discretion" - I just don't
despise people on the basis of what they wear.
To: India Knight From Julie Burchill
What, not even he working class slags in cropped
tops you're forever slagging off you hypocritical
snob?
To: Julie Burchill from India Knight
I do NOT slag off working class people in crop
tops you ****ing loon. Where? When? Why would I
slag them off? I am many things but I am not a
snob. God, you're driving me mad. Go Away.
To: India Knight From Julie Burchill
I wrote to the letters page, not YOU, you
stalking cretin. Why don't you **** off and
turn yet another of your husbands gay?
-----------------------------------------------------
RIP: Ross Davidson, who played Andy in
Eastenders in the 80s.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Things that make you go hmmm <<
Panda babies, Ben Jonson, Nick Carter
Kids with mullets:
http://www.mulletjunky.com/childmullets.htm
Nick Carter porn-a-like:
http://www.gaysexblog.net/images/aaron-king-350x525.jpg
Blog of the week:
http://thegloveontherailing.blogspot.com/
Be like Ben Jonson:
http://www.cheetahpowersurge.com/tv.html
Pandacam:
http://www.zooatlanta.org/animals_panda_cam.htm
Abu Ghraib art:
http://www.zonaeuropa.com/20050413_2.htm
Biggest dance tune has to be Bodyrox. We love
the D Ramirez vocal mix. Watch the mucky
version of the video here:
Want to know what Paris Hilton is wearing this
Autumn? Check out the latest Hollywood fashions.
Quote "popbitch" for 15% discount on first order
http://tinyurl.com/ynbpjh
Robert Cary-Williams got done this week for
drunkenly kicking his wife in the head. The
slogan for his latest collection? "Beautiful,
with an undercurrent of violence.."
http://www.robertcary-williams.co.uk/html/rcw.php?sp=1
>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 22nd October
++ Number One
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE Welcome To The Black Parade.
++ Top Ten
MEATLOAF It's All Coming Back To Me Now
JAMES MORRISON Wonderful World
ORDINARY BOYS Lonely At The Top
++ Top Twenty
PET SHOP BOYS Numb
JAMIE T If You Got The Money
AMY WINEHOUSE Rehab
HOLLOWAYS Generator
BEYONCE Replaceable
The RIFLES Peace & Quiet
>> End Bit <<
Help Popbitch!
* Email stories, gossip:
hello@popbitch.com
* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.
* Web hosting by: http://www.thebunker.net
* Mail by aysabtu
*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, N, dollymixture, EW, Homan, JO,
MM, scally_wag, ew, SL, CS, Am, PG, jeffroalex,
pete, plastiktom, JC, jacques_as_in_hattie,
starsandheroes, CG, celtiagirl, glimmertwin,
deepstoat, mingus
*****************************************************
Old Jokes Home:
Q: Did you hear about the man who got his
viagra and his sleeping tablets mixed up?
A: He ended up going for 40 ****s.
Still Bored?
In case you haven't yet heard the greatest
duet ever. Peter Andre and Jordan. You have
to listen to the bitter end. It just gets better:
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,20590041-5006002,00.html
holy moly
Shame-y Winehouse
After last week's story about her worrying behaviour on the Charlotte Church Show, I was sent this story about tattooed liability Amy Winehouse.
She was in 'trendy Camden watering hole' The Hawley Arms last week and a mole spotted her in the queue for the unisex toilet upstiars.
After waiting impatiently for all of two minutes, she stormed past the two people ahead of her and banged on the toilet door.
Amy Winehouse: "Who's in there?"
[pause]
AW [louder]: "Who's in there?"
Voice From Toilet: "Who's that?"
AW: "Amy. What the **** are you doing? I know you're both in there!"
VFT: "What?"
AW: "Let me in! Are you doing **** in there? Let me in! You know I like ****. Give me **** now, you ****ers!"
Sadly for Amy, the toilet door remained firmly closed and she stormed off. Guess not everyone likes scat as much as Amy Winehouse.
Amy Winehouse's new single is still called 'Rehab'.
The Grapes Of Writhe
Win your Xmas night out at The London Dungeon!
In the 1880's, the people of London lived their squalid lives against a background of immorality, drunkenness, crime and violence. Robbery and assault were commonplace and the streets were ruled by gangs.
So nothing's ****ing changed then. Except, you know, there's no Jack the Ripper going round killing prostitutes.
Thanks to The London Dungeon, you can win a top night out for you and 4 of your mates. If you fancy having your ass scared off whilst drinking cocktails, just email blag@holymoly.co.uk and tell us what date the Ripper murders stopped.
Go here to book!
Deal Or Nose Deal?
Two weeks ago, I told you about a daytime TV presenter whose drug intake is more terrifying than awe-inspiring (he has a growing taste for 'caramelised MDMA').
His coke consumption is now daily but he gets his friends to collect it and post the wraps through his door. Which is all, because of the regularity of deliveries, getting on their nerves.
He's currently obsessing about doing a "£500 deal" and gets very excited when discussing it with friends.
So how has someone with his profile managed to keep his escalating habit out of the papers? His mates at the papers do almost as much coke as him and have a 'gentleman's agreement' in place to keep quiet.
Is this why Richard Hammond crashed?
The Libel-ertines
Jacqueline Doherty - mother of junkie panhandler Pete - has just published a book about her boy (Pete Doherty My Prodigal Son: The Extraordinary Story Of A Mother's Love).
Pete and Johnny Borrell from Razorlight go way back (playing in bands together, sharing flats etc.) and both their mothers are well acquainted.
On the day Jacqueline's book came out, Johnny's mum (in her electric wheelchair) tootled into Waterstones on Camden High Street and demanded to see a copy of the book ("In case that slaaaaaaaa-ggg has libeled me"). She spent a futile two hours parked up in the shop trying to find something in the book she could sue over.
TV Dragon In 'Worst Marketing Campaign Ever' Shokka
"My local gym has just turned into a Bannatyne's gym after many years as a Living Well.
In reception this week, heaps of copies of Duncan Bannatyne's autobiography (Anyone Can Do It: From An Ice-Cream Van To Dragons' Den) suddenly appeared. Next to them is a sign explaining that, if 25 copies are sold there, Duncan himself will come along and put in a personal appearance at the gym!"
The Clothes Horse Show
Former Blue Peter and Clothes Show presenter, Tim Vincent is a big hit with the ladies. Until they actually get intimate with him.
One of his ex-girlfriends says that he kisses "like an aggressive horse".
One Trick Pony
Keeping with the equestrian theme, a mole writes in with this story about John Leslie.
"He tried to chat me up in the Atlantic bar a few years ago. As part of his 'patter', he came up with this immortal line: 'You look like a nice girl. Mind if I feed the pony?' and then tried to grope my fanny."
Best. Obituary. Ever.
Beef Curtain Call
Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Asher D-estroyed
UK garage also-ran Asher D wasn't even the best rapper in So Solid Crew. So, why did he think it was a good idea to challenge any takers in a crowded club to a rap battle?
Watch the whole thing through your fingers here.
'Thriller' - Bollywood style
Re: Tarrant on TV
"I was appalled to be shown a nearly naked man being violated with a candle on his nether regions covered in hot wax and a matchstick placed in his personal aperture, with close-ups, whilst being strapped into some sort of 'stocks'. It is pathetic, perverse and downright dangerous.
I cannot understand why heads do not roll over such disgusting, revolting transmissions."
(By the way, 'personal aperture?')
Re: Emmerdale
"I would like to say that I think the young actress chosen to play Victoria is totally wrong for the part.
A young girl does not change from blonde to brunette (and Asian) during a trip to Spain!"
It's The Great Holy Moly! X Factor Drinking Game
When watching the X Factor tomorrow night, play this drinking game. The rules are as follows:
1. Random family member of one of the contestants shouts out indecipherable encouragement - drink two fingers
2. One of the judges gets 'panto villain' booing for their comments - drink for duration of the booing
3. Shot of family member wearing t-shirt with contestant's face cheaply printed on it - one finger
4. Louis mispronounces 'Saturday' as 'Sarr-day' - finish drink
5. A contestant says, "It's been an incredible journey" - switch drinks
6. Any of the judges tells an act, "You made the song your own" - three fingers
7. Louis says, "I love you, the audience love you, and the public will love you as well" - finish your drink
8. A performer cries - empty your glass
9. Louis praises an obviously piss-poor performance by one of his acts - empty your glass
10. Sharon makes a lecherous remark about any male performer - empty your glass, fill it up and empty it again, crying hot, salty tears.
And Finally...
A big thankyou to all the brands and people that made the book launch such a success. Sorry i missed you Neil Sean, maybe next time x
In no particular order, thanks to:
Vladivar Vodka for booze
Griffin Technology =for the amazing iTrips
Arena Magazine
Good Vibes Power
Trivium
Bench clothing
Hooch clothing
Hawaiian Tropic
Tomy Yujin Europe
Capital Chicks
You will all go to heaven forever.
popbitch
*****************************************************
Fashion lovers, this season's must-have is The
Clothes Show. The brand new series is exclusive
to UKTV Style, Sundays, 6pm.
http://tinyurl.com/y99bao
*****************************************************
"I feel like my rainbow is starting to
come.' Tara Reid
-----------------------------------------------------
POPBITCH _ _ _
_ __ ___ _ __ | |__ (_) |_ ___| |__
| '_ \ / _ \| '_ \| '_ \| | __/ __| '_ \
| |_) | (_) | |_) | |_) | | || (__| | | |
| .__/ \___/| .__/|_.__/|_|\__\___|_| |_|
|_| |_| 19.10.06 ISSUE 322
Free every week: to subscribe/unsubscribe
go to http://www.popbitch.com
* India Knight v Julie Burchill
* Il Divo - divs or divas?
* Charts: Razorlight are number one
-----------------------------------------------------
>> War Games <<
Heather goes out on a limb
What could have made Heather Mills-McCartney
angry enough to have thrown such lurid
accusations at her husband this week? Well,
Macca's legal team had suggested to Heather
that they weren't sure she should be entitled
to anything from Sir Paul as she had
misrepresented herself at the time of the
wedding by not revealing she had, in effect,
been a prostitute.
And Heather does have a history of delusional
flights of fantasy. There's a journalist at
Private Eye also called Heather Mills who
discovered that Mills-McCartney had been going
around pretending to be her for a while.
-----------------------------------------------------
Tinshill Learning Centre in Leeds let their 14-16
year-old students have a fag in a smoking room during
breaks, as long as they have a note from their parents.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Il Divo: Divs or Divas? <<
Opera troupe not fans of Sideways
Opera lightweights Il Divo have a tour rider
filled with many fussy requests. So at one
US show staff decided to test just how
classy these divas really are. The warblers
specify that they have to have superior
"Italian wines ONLY" so staff bought them
one $8 red table wine, and a $60 pinot noir.
After the gig the cheapo table wine was
all gone, but the Pinot Noir was untouched
*****************************************************
Jade Goody wants a P.A who is not "fuzzled by fame"
but has she found the perfect person yet?
Jade's PA, Mondays at 10pm, LIVINGtv:
http://tinyurl.com/s3c6e
*****************************************************
>> Eating's a fag <<
Russian jobseeker does a David Blaine
Agasi Vartanyan of Shlisselburg, near St.
Petersburg, has broken the world record for
fasting. He spent fifty days in an elevated glass
box in the town centre. Agasi lost his job
this summer as a construction worker so had no
money to buy food so he thought he'd make
the best of the situation. He built the glass
box, filled it with 150 litres of water,
clothes, bedding an electric heater and
50 packs of cigarettes.
-----------------------------------------------------
RIP Big Boy. The alligator from Live and Let Die died
this week at his home in Beaver Water World, Kent.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Big Questions <<
What people are asking this week
Which fashion designer is designing a high-
end sportswear range for the high street
but stipulated in his contract that he
doesn't want any other gay designers working
in his team?
Which Hollywood fitness freak leading man
has managed to restore his diminishing
hairline thanks to a combination of surgery
and rogaine? Sadly its not all good news.
The side-effects of the drug treatment
means that nowadays he needs more
viagra than Hugh Heffner
-----------------------------------------------------
Buddies Lance Armstrong and Matthew McConaughey call
each other by nicknames: LiveStrong and J.K. Livin.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Paedo pop <<
Rod Stewart does a Chris Langham
Rod Stewart told Blender magazine that he
first met Paris Hilton when she was 14.
"She was very attractive then," says Rod,
"I happened to notice. She would have
definitely fallen into the right parameters."
-----------------------------------------------------
This week the people rumoured to be talking to
BBC about UK's Eurovision entry: Ace of Base
and Peter Andre.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Hey good lookin' <<
What ya got cookin'?
Bartender Zach Bowen became one of the most
famous faces of Hurricane Katrina. He refused
to leave the French Quarter of New Orleans,
and was offered shelter by a fellow bartender
who quickly became his new girlfriend,
Addie Hall. Hall and Bowen helped clean up the
streets and invited reporters round for
cocktails and cigarettes, claiming "We're
having a civilised hurricane." Sadly, Addie
ended up this week in a cooking pot and Bowen
jumped off the roof of the Omni Hotel on
Tuesday. Police found his girlfriend's head
in a pot on the stove, and her legs and feet
inside he oven. The couple had recently moved
into this flat. It was above the Voodoo
Spiritual Temple and Cultural Centre.
-----------------------------------------------------
Popbitch's favourite Chinese history, language and
literature scholar - Oberlin College Sophia
University's David L ****.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Popbits <<
This week's secret seven
1. Rumours are flying around that Pauline Fowler
gets written out of Eastenders by dying of AIDS.
2. Some American Rolling Stone fans are
claiming Ronnie Wood is bald.
3. 1997 - Eddie Murphy arrested after picking up
a black transvestite prostitute in Los Angeles
2007 - Eddie Murphy expecting child (his seventh)
with Scary Spice.
4. 'I'm worried Kate Moss' daughter will be
exposed to drugs' claims grandfather.
5. Those of you who prefer genitals to be
hairless are all acomoclitics.
6. Bird impersonator Percy Edwards provided
the voice of the alien in Alien.
7. Meat Loaf used to be vegetarian, But
now he's not.
FYI: Send us your favourite weird fact and win
a signed picture disk of Mr Loaf's new single
Email hello@popbitch.com.
-----------------------------------------------------
Jesse, a labrador-German shepherd mix, saved her 49
year-old disabled owner from a house fire in Wisconsin,
but died when she went back in to rescue the cat.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> What not to say <<
Mica Paris lords it over Dido.
Jonnyteasmade writes:
"When Dido was recording her first solo album,
she used Mica Paris' parking spot at the studio
by mistake. Mica told her to **** off and
move the car." Nice.
-----------------------------------------------------
Today's Daily Telegraph obituaries list includes a
man with the name of Lt Col Pine-Coffin.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Muslims are not the new jews <<
Knight and Burchill's bitch-fight
India Knight wrote in her last Sunday Times
column that "Muslims are the new Jews", where
she attacked negative attitudes towards the veil.
Julie Burchill wrote in reply to the paper's
letters page:
Dear India Knight, I dare you to walk into any
mosque... and spread your tidings that "Muslims
are the new Jews". You'll be lucky if you get out
alive. PS I see that your new book is a compilation
of dirty bits from novels. I'd love to know how
this fits in with your new found love of
feminine modesty and discretion.
The subsequent email exchange:
To Julie Burchill From India Knight.
Oh for ****'s sake. I don't have a "newfound
love of modesty and discretion" - I just don't
despise people on the basis of what they wear.
To: India Knight From Julie Burchill
What, not even he working class slags in cropped
tops you're forever slagging off you hypocritical
snob?
To: Julie Burchill from India Knight
I do NOT slag off working class people in crop
tops you ****ing loon. Where? When? Why would I
slag them off? I am many things but I am not a
snob. God, you're driving me mad. Go Away.
To: India Knight From Julie Burchill
I wrote to the letters page, not YOU, you
stalking cretin. Why don't you **** off and
turn yet another of your husbands gay?
-----------------------------------------------------
RIP: Ross Davidson, who played Andy in
Eastenders in the 80s.
-----------------------------------------------------
>> Things that make you go hmmm <<
Panda babies, Ben Jonson, Nick Carter
Kids with mullets:
http://www.mulletjunky.com/childmullets.htm
Nick Carter porn-a-like:
http://www.gaysexblog.net/images/aaron-king-350x525.jpg
Blog of the week:
http://thegloveontherailing.blogspot.com/
Be like Ben Jonson:
http://www.cheetahpowersurge.com/tv.html
Pandacam:
http://www.zooatlanta.org/animals_panda_cam.htm
Abu Ghraib art:
http://www.zonaeuropa.com/20050413_2.htm
Biggest dance tune has to be Bodyrox. We love
the D Ramirez vocal mix. Watch the mucky
version of the video here:
Want to know what Paris Hilton is wearing this
Autumn? Check out the latest Hollywood fashions.
Quote "popbitch" for 15% discount on first order
http://tinyurl.com/ynbpjh
Robert Cary-Williams got done this week for
drunkenly kicking his wife in the head. The
slogan for his latest collection? "Beautiful,
with an undercurrent of violence.."
http://www.robertcary-williams.co.uk/html/rcw.php?sp=1
>> Chart Predictions <<
New entries/High climbers Sun 22nd October
++ Number One
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE Welcome To The Black Parade.
++ Top Ten
MEATLOAF It's All Coming Back To Me Now
JAMES MORRISON Wonderful World
ORDINARY BOYS Lonely At The Top
++ Top Twenty
PET SHOP BOYS Numb
JAMIE T If You Got The Money
AMY WINEHOUSE Rehab
HOLLOWAYS Generator
BEYONCE Replaceable
The RIFLES Peace & Quiet
>> End Bit <<
Help Popbitch!
* Email stories, gossip:
hello@popbitch.com
* Popbitch is published by Popdog Ltd.
* Web hosting by: http://www.thebunker.net
* Mail by aysabtu
*****************************************************
Thanks to: AM, SW, N, dollymixture, EW, Homan, JO,
MM, scally_wag, ew, SL, CS, Am, PG, jeffroalex,
pete, plastiktom, JC, jacques_as_in_hattie,
starsandheroes, CG, celtiagirl, glimmertwin,
deepstoat, mingus
*****************************************************
Old Jokes Home:
Q: Did you hear about the man who got his
viagra and his sleeping tablets mixed up?
A: He ended up going for 40 ****s.
Still Bored?
In case you haven't yet heard the greatest
duet ever. Peter Andre and Jordan. You have
to listen to the bitter end. It just gets better:
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,20590041-5006002,00.html
