German Goalkeeper

Morbyd

Morbyd

Moderator
Everyone hear about this story?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/internationals/8353964.stm

Not looking to do a RIP thread as I barely knew about the guy, but it did get me to thinking about the measures of success. This guy was going to be his nation's goalkeeper at the World Cup, the pinnacle of world sport. The holy grail of his profession. He had a loving wife, a young daughter.

Surely there'd been tragedy with the loss of his first daughter, but with so many other things (apparently) going right, life was still was too much to bear.

Thoughts?

I have to admit, I don't understand depression, really. I'm sure I go through bouts of it myself, but I'm so even-keeled I'm pained to tell you when they start or end. Medication (read: copious amount of alcohol on weekend) usually seems to get me through whatever :confused:
 
Morbyd said:
I have to admit, I don't understand depression, really. I'm sure I go through bouts of it myself, but I'm so even-keeled I'm pained to tell you when they start or end. Medication (read: copious amount of alcohol on weekend) usually seems to get me through whatever :confused:
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It decends like a pea soup fog and half the time you're not even aware of it until you realise you've got it.

It aint nice!
 
It's his illness that was to much, not his life per se - whatever his lefe experience the illness would have still been there.

One of the issues brought to a head with this terrible story is the stigma attached to mental health issues & the fact he thought he could not discuss it in public. Which within football you can sadly understand.

The fear of losing his adopted daughter must have been awful - who knows if this fear was real. I hope it would not be the case, but I guess the social need to draw a line somewhere?
 
Obviously there are various physical and psychological factors that combine to cause this illness. I'm not saying he was depressed because (aside from the death of his daughter) his life was so bad.

Just seems that, on the surface, there were enough things around that could have sustained him. But it wasn't enough. How deep does depression have to get to push you to that point?

The fear of losing his 2nd daughter is an odd but compelling result of the illness.
 
Morbyd said:
Obviously there are various physical and psychological factors that combine to cause this illness. I'm not saying he was depressed because (aside from the death of his daughter) his life was so bad.

Just seems that, on the surface, there were enough things around that could have sustained him. But it wasn't enough. How deep does depression have to get to push you to that point?

The fear of losing his 2nd daughter is an odd but compelling result of the illness.
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when you have depression, nothing is ever enough tho. no one, nothing can make you 'happy' except for yourself, and alot of the time you can feel the loneliest person in a room full of people.

something could well have tipped him over the edge.

the only way i can describe having depression is that your brain feels like its a sponge thats soaked with water, and all you want to do is reach inside and squeeze it dry, because all the thoughts and feelings weighs so heavy on you everyday.

this is where i think anti-depressants are a waste of time, and 1-2-1 counselling is the way forward. but unfortunately in the UK its cheaper to dish out a handful of pills than it is to provide a proper course of counselling. and even if you are lucky enough to get it on the NHS, you only get a maximum of 12hours.
 
I can only imgaine how painful it must be to lose a child and unfortunately I can honestly say that I often drive myself half mad, almost to tears with worry about losing my little one and it's not nice, I can only imagine that this guy had it a thousand times worse very very sad indeed. :(
 
It's so, so sad that he felt he had no way out other than this. Depression is such a common illness, I'd say probably 50% of my friends and family have suffered at various degrees at some point in their lives. Most get through it with help from their friends and loved ones, others struggle with it on and off during their life. I would hate to think anybody I knew felt like there was no way out from this :(
It's a shame there is still stigma attached to depression and other mental illnesses. Just look at the amount of celebs who check in the Priory! Just goes to show that it's more common than we think.

I feel so sorry for his wife who will have to live with the fact that she probably feels she didn't do enough. Very sad :(
 
Beckiboo said:
Just look at the amount of celebs who check in the Priory! Just goes to show that it's more common than we think
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I wouldnt use that as a barometer of how common deperession is becks! I rweckon half of em only do it to get some column inches!!

otherwase you make a salient point ;)
 
Beckiboo said:
Just look at the amount of celebs who check in the Priory! Just goes to show that it's more common than we think.
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not wishing to sound too cynical, but I would say rehab is often nothing more than a PR tool for many celebs, who are simply trying to rebuild public profiles, which of course is quite jarring for people who really have been through a harrowing time. In my experience, far too many people say they are depressed or think they are depressed when what they really mean is they are moody or melancholic - real depression is debilitating, can be invisible for years and I think chewie pretty much nailed it in his post. Prozac is a mirage (denial) cure and in the case of one old flatmate, massively reduced her sex drive!

on a wider point, I think midweek 'comedowns' can also be widely exaggerated - if you've had a heavy weekend and have nothing planned on the Tues/Wed or a particularly dull working week then it is always magnified. Equally with big booze sessions. If you keep yourself busy and active and, most crucially, amused, then you often barely notice it at all.

which is all, of course, of scant consolation to german goalkeeper's widow
 
I totally understand your point saying that you can't understand depression Morbyd, and actually this is one of the biggest drama of this illness and other "invisible illness, mainly mental.
Someone very close to me suffered it for years and at some points I just want to shout "you don't have any reason to be sad"... but it's not about having reasons is about your brain doesn't working as it is supposed to work.
As Agentundercover says, it's his illness and not his life which is wrong.
 
jjinit said:
I wouldnt use that as a barometer of how common deperession is becks! I rweckon half of em only do it to get some column inches!!

otherwase you make a salient point ;)
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I'm sure that could be the case in some cases. But I also do believe that depression is very common amongst people in the entertainment business, probably through a combination of pressures to do well, fame, money, drugs etc etc! And of course there are plenty of non-celebs who seek treatment through similar centres also.

The point I was trying to make was that Enke felt he couldn't come out as suffering from depression due tohis status incase the press got hold of it, and my point was that it's far more common amongst the famous than he probably realised.
 
Very sad. Hopefully some understanding might come of it.

And as Olly says ,people who are genuinely depressed could probably do without celebs who've done too much gear ringing The Sun to say their checking into The Priory if there's a photographer available.
 
silvia said:
I totally understand your point saying that you can't understand depression Morbyd, and actually this is one of the biggest drama of this illness and other "invisible illness, mainly mental.
Someone very close to me suffered it for years and at some points I just want to shout "you don't have any reason to be sad"... but it's not about having reasons is about your brain doesn't working as it is supposed to work.
As Agentundercover says, it's his illness and not his life which is wrong.
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Depression something very difficult to deal with, for me personally. I work with someone who has depression and I often find myself thinking "FFS - you have got this, you've got that, you've got the other, your husband adores you, the children are sweet - you've got F all to be depressed about" and I know thats soooo wrong of me - and I feel really guilty for doing it, clearly I dont actually say those words to her - but sometimes its on the tip of my tongue - and I feel like a really bad person.... :oops::oops:

I have another friend who is just a miserable cow at times and she thinks she is depressed but to be honest she's just one of life's victims who brings most things on herself then manages to depress everyone else around her - so when people try to give her advice, and maybe give her suggestions on how to be more positive she just bursts into tears and tells us "we dont understand her anguish".....

its difficult to work out who needs the help and who needs a slap sometimes....

oh god - now i do feel guilty.... :?:?:confused:

I am the opposite - annoyingly optimistic and glass is half full - I really do people's heads in.... :lol:
 
it's true i think that the most common way for young males to die is through depression related suicide.

really serious issue and no easy answers.
 
puppylover said:
Depression something very difficult to deal with, for me personally. I work with someone who has depression and I often find myself thinking "FFS - you have got this, you've got that, you've got the other, your husband adores you, the children are sweet - you've got F all to be depressed about" and I know thats soooo wrong of me - and I feel really guilty for doing it, clearly I dont actually say those words to her - but sometimes its on the tip of my tongue - and I feel like a really bad person.... :oops::oops:
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= underpressure to be what everyone wants her to be, rather than think **** it, and live the life she wants?

puppylover said:
I have another friend who is just a miserable cow at times and she thinks she is depressed but to be honest she's just one of life's victims who brings most things on herself then manages to depress everyone else around her - so when people try to give her advice, and maybe give her suggestions on how to be more positive she just bursts into tears and tells us "we dont understand her anguish".....
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= DRAMA QUEEN/ATTENTION SEEKER!

:lol:
 
puppylover said:
Depression something very difficult to deal with, for me personally. I work with someone who has depression and I often find myself thinking "FFS - you have got this, you've got that, you've got the other, your husband adores you, the children are sweet - you've got F all to be depressed about" and I know thats soooo wrong of me - and I feel really guilty for doing it, clearly I dont actually say those words to her - but sometimes its on the tip of my tongue - and I feel like a really bad person.... :oops::oops:

I have another friend who is just a miserable cow at times and she thinks she is depressed but to be honest she's just one of life's victims who brings most things on herself then manages to depress everyone else around her - so when people try to give her advice, and maybe give her suggestions on how to be more positive she just bursts into tears and tells us "we dont understand her anguish".....

its difficult to work out who needs the help and who needs a slap sometimes....

oh god - now i do feel guilty.... :?:?:confused:


I am the opposite - annoyingly optimistic and glass is half full - I really do people's heads in.... :lol:
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Yes, it's definitly difficult to live close to someone who suffers depression, I sometimes wanted to slap her and shout her and then I felt guilty but I've been in so weird, uncomfortable situations due her depression that I alwyas repetead to myself "we are just another victims of her illness"


grego said:
it's true i think that the most common way for young males to die is through depression related suicide.

really serious issue and no easy answers.
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Sorry, I may be lost in translation, do you mean that most youn males death are suicides? Do you mean in the UK?
 
djchewie said:
= underpressure to be what everyone wants her to be, rather than think **** it, and live the life she wants?

= DRAMA QUEEN/ATTENTION SEEKER!

:lol:
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to point one - I really dont know - I dont want to get into the conversation with her at work about why she suffers from depression. :?:? I have to have 1-1 sessions with her to say "how you doing today?" which to be honest I dont feel qualified to do - but I have to keep an eye on her to check when she's going to have "a moment":(

second point - totally :lol::lol:
 
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